Do Thai Men Pay Sinsot For Farang Wife?

[F1fanatic]

could be, I know for a lot of thai women (and the families) that the face gained by a wedding & sin sot/gold is still an important part of their culture, I would suppose that having a farang husband to be in the mix might influence the face gaining too. Proof that he is able to provide for his wife/of decent means?

For us (western women) it isn't part of our culture & therefore maybe we don't place so much importance on it (son sot) & if going through (the torture ) of the thai ceremony, will just go along with what the thai family deems important. Me & Mr boo were never bothered but his mum is still making noises about it all these years later so we were going to have last years aborted plan to keep her happy,....but had plans in place for a major pissup after the pomp for us & our mates as compensation.

Sounds reasonable. Any excuse for a major piss-up !

Quick edit - that sounded sarcastic - I didn't mean it that way!

Edited April 16, 2010 by F1fanatic

[Boo]

no it didn't sound sarcastic & thats exactly what the compromise was. We will sit around being gawked at but as soon as the bumph is over we're heading off to a local restaurant that has a stage & the band & dj would be set up for a major do. Might still do it in 2013 providing the red/yellows or who ever else is around then can manage to keep their act together.

[eek]

For the guys out there that dislike the "equality" in the west, its funny to read whinging about the so-called imbalance of things in Thai man - Farang female relationships. Such as the rules regarding visas and sin-sots.

But, dont mind me, im just having a mini dig.

Im sure plenty will have a retort or 7.

It was probably after reading comments on the bizarre obsession with Thai male genitalia size that often pops up (no pun intended), and the usual droll nonsense about western women, that got me off on the wrong foot.

[sbk]

Oh well, my FIL made up for my lack of wanting a giant wedding by having a huge event upon my husbands ordination as a monk a couple of years later. Shadow puppets, the lot.

And somehow, given how many girls dream of a big wedding, and the importance attached to it, I sincerely doubt a man's desire to avoid paying sin sot would be excuse enough to not have the wedding.

As Boo has pointed out, esp in smaller villages, the wedding is not just about the marriage, its about inviting friends, family, loved ones and everyone else to 1. celebrate and 2. sure show off. Why people get so shocked by the idea that people like to show off to the neighbors I do not know, its called human nature.

My husband's nephew married a local girl. His dad is local. They had 1500 people at their wedding, ours would have been at least 1000. I could not have handled that at the time. Why so many? Big families in the old days and the family ties are extensive. My husband calls his parents' cousins "Aunt" and "Uncle" He alone has 41 first cousins. Most of them have kids.

His parents have 6 and 7 siblings each. Most of them had kids. Do the math. Its alot of people. Include your neighbors, your friends etc. People get offended if they dont' get invited to weddings. Its not always about face.

[Tomissan]

"SinSod" (not sin sot).

As this is a romanised translation of a thai word there is no correct spelling, so for me it is sin sot

I certainly don't want to make an issue out of this, although, the last character (soD) in the Thai spelling is a "D" (dawdeck).

and I haven't been back to Koh Phangan for about 18 years when the only live music was the "sing-a-song" place next to the beach with Isaan music..

[Boo]

yes lets not get into peoples differing opinions of the spelling of romanised thai words as neither are right compared to the other

[Tomissan]

yes lets not get into peoples differing opinions of the spelling of romanised thai words as neither are right compared to the other

quite right Boo....easier to ask any Thai the answer....

[Boo]

yup I did & this is the way I spell it phonetically based on the sound I hear:)

Moving on....

[Boo]

I know one of our female posters had the full shabang in Ubon, sin sot, gold, proper thai style frock & everything. Were some great picks on fb too, sadly her new husband turned out not to be so great so the marriage didn't last the year but I often wonder if she got to keep any of the sin sot?

[Tomissan]

yup I did & this is the way I spell it phonetically based on the sound I hear:)

Moving on....

just for exercise: the fifth character from the left is a "D" or as they teach in Thai schools Dawdeck. the complete word is sinsodthongmun

สินสอดทองหมั้น

[Boo]

which still has no relevance to how I chose to spell it phonetically or this topic either

Moving on.....

[F1fanatic]

Does it matter?

There's a letter in Thai that is somewhere between D and T. Similarly, there's a letter that's a combination of B and P.

These are just off the top of my head.

The written languages are completely different - why are we arguing about spelling in the Western language?

I enjoy a good argument, but this one is (cough) stupid (?cough, cough)!

Edited April 16, 2010 by F1fanatic

[Boo]

Indeed.

[sbk]

Does it matter?

There's a letter in Thai that is somewhere between D and T. Similarly, there's a letter that's a combination of B and P.

These are just off the top of my head.

The written languages are completely different - why are we arguing about spelling in the Western language?

I enjoy a good argument, but this one is (cough) stupid (?cough, cough)!

Indeed F1 is totally correct, there is no official standardized romanization of the Thai language, so all of this pedantic arguing over spelling is totally

and I guess a quick reminder that rules allow Thai language in the Thai Language forum only, thanks, so please take your argument there as it really has nothing to do with this thread, cheers

[Eurod]

Interesting question. My wild guess would be no, because the bride's family wouldn't be expecting it. I think some families would even be insulted by it, unless it was presented as helping to pay for the wedding. But, I would love to hear from people who have firsthand experience or knowledge.

Do Thai men pay it for a Thai wife? ( They dont seem to pay for anything else ?)

especially child support

[Eurod]

and it seems some posters just cannot help themselves. So, before we start down THAT path, a brief reminder of the rules as well as to recall that your mother taught you good manners. Use them.

7) Not to post slurs or degrading comments directed towards any group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

8) Not to post extremely negative views of Thailand or derogatory comments directed towards all Thais.

Can someone please define "EXTREMELY"

[Boo]

Thai men do pay sin sot for thai women & many also do pay child support. It is up to the women though to apply for it, as in most countries.

But an interesting attitude. I take it then that you come from perfectland where men never shirk their responsibility to their kids or is it ok for farang to do it cause they have the state to fall back on?

Maybe a re-read of the forum rules that sbk posted earlier is in order.

[sbk]

and it seems some posters just cannot help themselves. So, before we start down THAT path, a brief reminder of the rules as well as to recall that your mother taught you good manners. Use them.

7) Not to post slurs or degrading comments directed towards any group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

8) Not to post extremely negative views of Thailand or derogatory comments directed towards all Thais.

Can someone please define "EXTREMELY"

per forum rules if you have a question about moderation use the PM function.

[eek]

Interesting question. My wild guess would be no, because the bride's family wouldn't be expecting it. I think some families would even be insulted by it, unless it was presented as helping to pay for the wedding. But, I would love to hear from people who have firsthand experience or knowledge.

Do Thai men pay it for a Thai wife? ( They dont seem to pay for anything else ?)

especially child support

You really gotta love the c**p that comes out of Thaivisa forum members sometimes. Eurod, how about taking the time to learn something about Thai men, rather than just coming out with this nonesense? Im sorry for my harshness, but really, its people like you that perpetuate the stupid generalisations, and tbh its very frustrating to read this type of bigotry.

I come to threads like this in the hope to read some decent discussion. Instead, as so often happens, people end up coming out with the same old comments..in varying degrees...along the lines of how Thai women are money-grabbing, and Thai men are alcoholic losers, and how all western women are opinionated unfeminine castrating monsters. Good grief guys, take a step back and start thinking logically..?

[F1fanatic]

Interesting question. My wild guess would be no, because the bride's family wouldn't be expecting it. I think some families would even be insulted by it, unless it was presented as helping to pay for the wedding. But, I would love to hear from people who have firsthand experience or knowledge.

Do Thai men pay it for a Thai wife? ( They dont seem to pay for anything else ?)

especially child support

You really gotta love the c**p that comes out of Thaivisa forum members sometimes. Eurod, how about taking the time to learn something about Thai men, rather than just coming out with this nonesense? Im sorry for my harshness, but really, its people like you that perpetuate the stupid generalisations, and tbh its very frustrating to read this type of bigotry.

I come to threads like this in the hope to read some decent discussion. Instead, as so often happens, people end up coming out with the same old comments..in varying degrees...along the lines of how Thai women are money-grabbing, and Thai men are alcoholic losers, and how all western women are opinionated unfeminine castrating monsters. Good grief guys, take a step back and start thinking logically..?

I think Eurod is referring to all the women from Isaan that go to tourist areas to find 'work' so that they can support their children and parents.

If the Thai men were supporting them, why would they do this?

Obviously most Thai men support their wives and children, but perhaps not those in certain parts of the country?

[Heng]

Obviously most Thai men support their wives and children, but perhaps not those in certain parts of the country?

It's most commonly (IMO) the inability (perhaps more prevalent in certain parts of the country) on the part of BOTH men and women to make sound financial decisions. They often can't even live by rule number one, which is living within your means.

The woman (and less often the man) simply has one final commodity to trade in once they've both managed to drain most of the financial liquidity from their lives. That original "inability" remains though, much to the joy of their partners (both local and sometimes foreign) later on down the road.

[eek]

A lot of the construction guys and guys working hotels and bars etc etc are Isaan guys. Sure, like any country, some guys may run out on their wife and kids and not want to pay support. Just as some women do the same to men. Its also possible that some of the ladies who leave their kids with her parents to go work in the city, have a husband working away as well, but the story of abandonment tugs the heart strings of gullible farangs better. But, who knows! Of course its good to accept what people tell us, and hope its the truth, but its also good not to label an entire part of the country based on what a few people say. Its quite ridiculous for any of us to think along the lines of "oh ning and pim said 'Thai man no good' so..that must mean, Thai man no good".

As for the sin-sot(d/t) question (getting back on topic), i imagine its already been answered now anyway..? I was asked this before from a Thai man too..if he it is expected in my country to pay a sin-sot. I would imagine most all Thai men would be prepared to give a sin-sot (and want to!), but, as already mentioned, most farang ladies reject the idea. But, i have just learned, thats also because there was no Thai wedding. Interesting!

[Boo]

yes, lets not go off topic & turn this into a bargirl discussion as it has nothing to do with this topic at all.

[sbk]

Oh, come on Boo. If we can't squeeze in "All thai women are money grubbing greedy whores" into this thread we won't have hit every single moronic generalization that comes out of ThaiVisa.I mean, we've already hit all the other highlights (or should I say, lowlights) Why skip this one?

[Boo]

haha

[Livinginexile]

Hahaha...

Hear hear

[benthai98]

Hahaha...

Hear hear

don't be like that... ;-p

[bina]

actually husband gave me a sort of sin sod (as if he were to give it to my folks) at the wedding and then of course we gave part back to pay for stuff, kept some for our travelling expenses and gave the rest to sisters/brothers... i am 'used bt not abused' so sin sot was not a lot anyhow and done just for show and giving mom satisfaction that we were doing some parts of the ceremony since we skipped many parts due to time and expense problems... (no evening wedding gala party, no invits, just a early morning water pouring ceremony and pig slaughtered, minimal alcohol, some music and then finished).

but in reality, as ive mentioned a zillion times before here, in israel there is both a bride price and a dowry to be given by groom and by bride's parents depending on ethnic background (jewish morrocan,yemen iraq, or muslem ) , so i have no problem with that either...........dont know why som many people make a fuss about these things.

bina

israel

[7by7]

Several posts deleted, and members are reminded of sbk's earlier post

all of this pedantic arguing over spelling is totally

and I guess a quick reminder that rules allow Thai language in the Thai Language forum only, thanks, so please take your argument there as it really has nothing to do with this thread, cheers

[aussiebebe]

As this seems to be the most recent sin-sot thread, does anyone know what the rules are in Thailand about who pays the sin sot? Is it something the groom pays (as the OP is asking) or should the groom's father pay? Or is there some situation in between?

The reason I'm asking is that I would like to know the cultural expecations, and I have a son who is half-Thai. How do Thai's think? Is a father obliged to help with this payment or is the son obliged or expected to produce it by himself?

As far as I understand, the sin sot could be a sign of the groom's ability to provide for his new wife and subsequent family, which I don't see happening if his father pays. I don't see why a father should or would pay - why not just marry the girl himself, (okay that's beyond the pale, but you get my drift).

Much obliged if anyone can help solve this riddle.

Cheers

Aussie