Why Is It That......

[bangbuathong]

# How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the batteryis dead?

# Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn'tthey be called builts?

# Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

# Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

# Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

# Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk?

# The light went out, but where to?

# Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money theyalready know you don't have?

# Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?

# Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

# Why is the alphabet in that order?

# If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe isexpanding, what is it expanding into?

# If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxidriver end up owing you money?

# What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

# If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do theother trees make fun of it?

# Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

# When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? Itsounds like a near hit to me!!

# Do fish get cramps after eating?

# How come abbreviated is such a long word?

# Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?

# If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as coldtomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

# Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in chargeof everything outdoors?

# Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

# If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

# When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

# Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it'snot a-door?

# Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tellhim a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

# How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always duckedwhen someone threw a gun at him?

# Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?

# If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite ofprogress?

# Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquidcontains real lemons?

# How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

# Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

# Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

# Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

# Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

# Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

# Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

# Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

# What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

# Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

# If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys andapes?

# Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

# Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

# Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?

# I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-helpsection?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

# If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they allstill working?

# Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?

# Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?

# Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appearbright until you hear them speak?

# Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

# War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

# If you throw a cat out the window, is it considered kitty litter?

# If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, ishe still wrong?

# Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?

# If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

# If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is itconsidered a hostage situation?

# If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

# Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they stillgrow? Only to be troubled and insecure?

# Is there another word for synonym?

# Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

# When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

# When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrownaway?

# Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

# Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

# Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

# Why do they report power outages on TV?

# What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating anendangered plant?

# Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

# Is it possible to be totally partial?

# What's another word for thesaurus?

# If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON. how do they make it stick to the pan?

# If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

# Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

# Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

# If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day. 365 days a year. why are there locks on thedoors?

# If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlightsoff?

# If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

# If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

# When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

# If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remainsilent?

# Why is the word abbreviation so long?

# When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

# If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

# Can a fat person go skinny dipping?

# Why do you need a drivers licence to buy liquor when you can't drink anddrive?

# Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

# Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

# Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

# Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

# Have you ever imagined a world with out hypothetical situations?

# How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?

# If a cow laughed. would milk come out her nose?

# If your in a vehicle going the speed of light. what happens when you turn onthe headlights?

# Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

# Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment.but when you transport something by ship. its cargo?

# You know that little indestructable black box that is used on planes. Whydont they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

# Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address. you turn downthe volume on the radio?

[mnoorsapl]

yyy?

[patricktan]

This was very long............................................................................

..........................................................................