Tgf Stay In The Temple......? Buffalo Story?

[SeaVisionBurma]

Read a few more of his posts SVB he does say he took her out of the bar and she was originally a bargirl.....

...I'm surprised no one has told him to download Private Dancer yet to solve all his problems.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yeah, cheers bkkmadness - I did notice that later (I did mention in my post "regardless of what the OP has since added" etc). Was more a social commentary on the reaction, just having an analytical moment.

Your comment about Private Dancer is spot on - was just wondering the same thing myself Normally by the second page of a similar topic someone has posted the link...

[bkkmadness]

Other posters were quick to say that going and spending time in the temple was not an unusual cultural consideration - a more appropriate response IMHO

The perfect response as it is the answer to his original question which was just asking for some knowledge about a cultural tradition that the OP wasn't aware of.

He has been correctly informed that it is something Thai girls do now, and I hope that helps him a bit and he can either use that to give her the benefit of the doubt, or as just a starting point to finding out the truth of the matter if he still doubts her.

Perhaps if he still doubts her he should take the next step with his post and ask for some advice on how to find out for himself that she is in a temple at that time, as it seems he doesn't trust her enough to believe what she says so just asking her may not be the best solution for him.

[sakaew]

I've just asked my long haired advisor about HER temple.

She doesn't know the name of the temple in the village where she lived for more than 20 years...and her father is buried there !!

And she also doesn't know the name of the temple in the village we've lived in for more than 3 years.

I guess there is no NEED to know.

When the village folk talk about "the temple"...there is only temple likely to be the topic of the conversation.

She also says it's perfectly normal for a woman to become "mare she" ( female monk) for a month or two.

No need to shave her hair..and it's considered to be an extremely worthwhile thing for ANY Thai--man or woman--to do.

She also said she'd like to do that herself someday.

We all have the potential for the conditioned response of believing she MIGHT be doing us in.

In your case..the overwhelming preponderance of probability given the circumstances..is that she is doing exactly what she says she is doing..and would expect admiration and respect from you.

The uncommon common sense observations from someone who pointed out that bargirling is not high on the list of most girl's desirable life choices...is spot on.

You've been good to her...you are good together...why would she blow it all??

You're a lucky buggar to have such a sensible woman.

[pnustedt]

[ Explain your reasoning here please?  I don't follow your statement at all.  She is Buddhist and going to a temple for a month which is something that many Thai people do.  Sometimes people have got to do something for herself, it's only one month out of a 2 year relationship where she by choice has not been by his side.

I think you have explained it yourself. She is doing something for herself - that is her priority, not her 2-yr relationship. Her partner doesn't trust her, maybe with cause or not, but where there is no trust the relationship is flawed. So move on.

[mpdkorat]

okay let me get this right, she has been with you for 2 years, you basically look after her and her family.  why on earth would she want to return to the bar?!?  have you been treating her right?  its not like being a bar girl is anything people aspire to, let alone miss it enough to want to return to that life.  i don't see it.  these girls get into the bar business so that they could end up with a farang, travel the world and basically live contentedly for the rest of their lives! 

some of you out there really have issues.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Unfortunately that is not the way it works a lot of the time. Many bar girls get a buzz out of working in bars, until they tire, then go home, then tire of home and go back to the bars. Have you not heard ''You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can not take the bar out of the girl’’?

I'm not saying that in this case it is, but the fact that she does not know the name of the Wat is just a little strange in my opinion. It is also true that females do go into temples for a period of time for the strangest of reasons.

PLUS not all Thai girls like being out of Thailand, even though most girls that have never been abroad dream about going, but once they get the chance, a very large percentage just want to get home.

If you are not sure check it’s not that difficult….. Up to you……

[wolf5370]

Agree with Thetyim, its not that unusual for girls, as well as boys, to enter the Temple for a while. Especially if told to by a monk or if she/her fa,ily think she needs some time to reflect (on what's been or what's to come). I don't think a month is that unbeleivable - I know guys that have spent 3 months as 'temporary' monks.

As to the Temple name, she might have thought you wanted the English translation of the name - thus, she dosn't know. These are usually in Pali, so Thais do not necessarily know the meanings. Mybe she doesn't remember - sometimes a local Wat has a 'pet' name

[bkkmadness]

[ Explain your reasoning here please?  I don't follow your statement at all.  She is Buddhist and going to a temple for a month which is something that many Thai people do.  Sometimes people have got to do something for herself, it's only one month out of a 2 year relationship where she by choice has not been by his side.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think you have explained it yourself. She is doing something for herself - that is her priority, not her 2-yr relationship. Her partner doesn't trust her, maybe with cause or not, but where there is no trust the relationship is flawed. So move on.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So the problem with the relationship is that the OP doesn't trust her after two years, I can agree with that.

I don't agree with the fact that she has higher prioties than the relationship just because she is taking a month out to do something that is part of her traditional religion and culture.

It's only a month, do you want her to really forget about being Thai just to be at the beck and call for her man even when he isn't in the country to prove that he above everything is her number one priority.

Women and their own lives too and it's nobody who just has just one priority in life, she is not his slave and if she needs to do something for herself occaisionally it's hardly a reason to break up with her.

[eddie eagle]

Guys ... wait for a couple of days and we will have the answer. Yes I do have my doubts ....most probably unfounded and unreasonble .....and yes I very much hoping it is just that ..... posting the problem on the forum has been a good help ....firstly in that I have received good feedback on the temple routine and secondly I have been able to share the problem ....the advice received has gone from she's a BG dump her to sort yourself out and trust her.....the truth is probably some where in between ....hopefully the later....

I was and am happy to go along with her having to do the stint in the temple and was very supportive of her ....the thing that got me doubting was the night before she went in I asked and she didn't know the name of the temple....if she wasn't in the temple she would be with me now in Japan

Edited June 21, 2005 by eddie eagle

[SeaVisionBurma]

I've just asked my long haired advisor about HER temple.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sakaew - one of the most apt descriptions for a girlfriend I've seen in years, that has really brought on a chuckle

[HarryHacker]

Come to think about it a little more, of all of the tales I have heard and been given over the years, I can’t ever recall being lied to using anything to do with visiting a temple or indeed their faith.

[mpdkorat]

Agree with Thetyim, its not that unusual for girls, as well as boys, to enter the Temple for a while. Especially if told to by a monk or if she/her fa,ily think she needs some time to reflect (on what's been or what's to come). I don't think a month is that unbeleivable - I know guys that have spent 3 months as 'temporary' monks.

As to the Temple name, she might have thought you wanted the English translation of the name - thus, she dosn't know. These are usually in Pali, so Thais do not necessarily know the meanings. Mybe she doesn't remember - sometimes a local Wat has a 'pet' name

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think that most Thai's know the name of their village temple unless they are a little thick. We are assuming it is her home local temple aren't we?

[bkkmadness]

Guys ... wait for a couple of days and we will have the answer. Yes I do have my doubts ....most probably unfounded and unreasonble .....and yes I very much hoping it is just that ..... posting the problem on the forum has been a good help ....firstly in that I have received good feedback on the temple routine and secondly I have been able to share the problem ....the advice received has gone from she's a BG dump her to sort yourself out and trust her.....the truth is probably some where in between ....hopefully the later....

I was and am happy to go along with her having to do the stint in the temple and was very supportive of her ....the thing that got me doubting was the night before she went in I asked and she didn't know the name of the temple....if she wasn't in the temple she would be with me now in Japan

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good luck, and try to be smart about it, don't get too fuelled up on the booze before you go heads on with her, because if she turns out to be telling the truth your going to look really stupid if you just flare up.

And despite the risk of sounding like Cilla Black on Blind Date (one for the English there) " we hope you come back next week and tell us all about it"

Everybody loves a bit of soap opera on this board.

[Tarragona]

I think that most Thai's know the name of their village temple unless they are a little thick. We are assuming it is her home local temple aren't we?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A lot of temples are known by more than one name and it does in fact seem that sometimes even local people don't know any of them. I remember once driving around a particular district in Ubon trying to find a temple that we had the name of. It took ages. People umm and aahed and asked other people and we got sent to other temples. The best thing to do turned out to be asking a monk.

As long as she can tell you exactly where the temple is, I wouldn't be that worried about her not knowing the name

[mpdkorat]

I think that most Thai's know the name of their village temple unless they are a little thick. We are assuming it is her home local temple aren't we?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A lot of temples are known by more than one name and it does in fact seem that sometimes even local people don't know any of them. I remember once driving around a particular district in Ubon trying to find a temple that we had the name of. It took ages. People umm and aahed and asked other people and we got sent to other temples. The best thing to do turned out to be asking a monk.

As long as she can tell you exactly where the temple is, I wouldn't be that worried about her not knowing the name

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You may have a point. I just asked my wife to give me the name of her local Wat, after giving me the names of four local Wats I told her that was enough??

[ThaiPauly]

ASK HER what Temple and don't take "I don't know" as an answer. If that IS the best she can come up with then alarm bells should start ringing loudly.

She is likely to go into the Temple as a "Looksit Wat" which means she takes care of the Lady Monks.

My Wife did this when she was about 13, for 1 month and she DID have her hair shaved. She got an awful lot out of it, and maybee your gal will to.

But you GOTTA KNOW MAN.

Sorry

GOOD LUCK -hope it all works out, it is plausable, but you have heard the other stories!!

TP

[bambob]

Is she telling the truth......?

My TGF has gone to stay in the temple for a month. She first told me a month ago that she would have to spend time in the temple and she timed the visit to fit in with me leaving Thailand on short notice for a couple of weeks i.e. I fixed the dates not her.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

when i heard similar story to this it was because the girl had HIV/AIDS

[bkkmadness]

Is she telling the truth......?

My TGF has gone to stay in the temple for a month. She first told me a month ago that she would have to spend time in the temple and she timed the visit to fit in with me leaving Thailand on short notice for a couple of weeks i.e. I fixed the dates not her.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

when i heard similar story to this it was because the girl had HIV/AIDS

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I bet your the life and soul of a party.

[daleyboy]

I have just asked my good lady if she knows the name of her temple and she says hers dosent have a name its just called the same as her village name.

One other thing she mentioned was ask her what clothes she will be wearing, according to the wife she says she should be dressed in white.

Good luck with whatever you decide but i wouldnt throw away 2 years over a suspicion until i was fully aware of the facts.

[duke69]

I have just asked my good lady if she knows the name of her temple and she says hers dosent have a name its just called the same as her village name.

One other thing she mentioned was ask her what clothes she will be wearing, according to the wife she says she should be dressed in white.

Good luck with whatever you decide but i wouldnt throw away 2 years over a suspicion until i was fully aware of the facts.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

WOW there is a bar in Patong where girls are dressing in white and are shaved??

Time to visit this temple.

Anyway, if after 2 years relationship the OP is still asking on TV about his TGF, ..... it means that she is not a Saint and he is in big troubles.

May be she just want to wide her choice and make some new "interviews", normally after 2 years a BG or TGF wants to get married, and in a few years time all potential hubbies will disappear because she will be too old ......

[sakaew]

Thyaipauly is talking common sense too.

Given your level of suspicion...you GOTTA know.

Your doubt will eat a big hole in your guts otherwise.

I had forgotten about the experience of a friend's wife...it may be worth sharing.

She bypassed a load of Wats close to their village...to go to some old monk famed in his area for being able to solve problems.,..somer 15 km away

She later stayed at that wat...but I've got no doubt she was as crazy after her stint...as she was before.

ALSO...not all wats run meditation courses..or so I am told.

In some areas...one big wat will run those programmes..and anyone from the surrounding area will rock up and participate.

Probably a function of insufficient starters for every wat to do their own.

The point is...make certain you know precisely WHICH Wat your inamorata is at.

And as we all know ..there ain't no alternative to going there yourself...or getting a trusted lieutenant to go.

[soi lurker]

If you want something done right you have to do it yourself.... go find out when she is there if you can so you know for sure....... peace of mind, you have to have it!

[Tufty]

My girl had a stutter when she was young and the monks cured it (so she believes) Thai girls do take their religion seriously and she promised that one day she would spend a few weeks in the temple out of gratitude, she hasn't done it yet and has no plans do go soon but believes one day she must

If she has been living with you for 2 years she can't have had time to meet another farang and I would assume there hasn't been any shady phone calls or letters

DON'T THROW ALL THAT AWAY but for peace of mind go and see her when she is there

[mpdkorat]

I have just asked my good lady if she knows the name of her temple and she says hers dosent have a name its just called the same as her village name.

One other thing she mentioned was ask her what clothes she will be wearing, according to the wife she says she should be dressed in white.

Good luck with whatever you decide but i wouldnt throw away 2 years over a suspicion until i was fully aware of the facts.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So her Wat does have a name then ‘Wat Village name’ but it will also have another name.

Yes women wear white when they live in the temples, but not all of the time, you can wear regular clothing as well. I believe that they discourage the wearing of mini skirts, hot pants and see through blouses.

I did know of a temple in Inverness Street, Kentish Town; run by a priest called Doctor Love. He insisted that his followers wore black, preferably PVC. He claimed that he could clear the passageways to you conscience, leaving you with an inner glow. I heard he was arrested outside a male toilet in Potters Bar, wearing a Mini skirt and high heel shoes.

[sua yai]

There's nothing unusual about the gf boing to a temple for a while.

Mine's been in one for 3 months. OK, the situation is totally different to the OP's in as much as I can visit her during the day whenever I want. Her Mum's the Mai Chee there, so she's staying at the house. She can go out and about as and when she wants. In fact, the gf is sitting right next to me at the moment.

She is not allowed to stay the night, though and as we want to get married, I think the past few months have been designed my "Mum" as a test to see if we can both stick it out.

I'm glad to say we have and intend to marry between 7-20 July.

I hope the OP's situation will resolve itself also.

[mnoorsapl]

Is she telling the truth......?

....any advice would be appreciated

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

made a surprise visit I guess. That should clear any doubt. Good Luck.

[Nam Kao]

When my wife was 12 she visited a monk famous for predicting someones

future. He said she'd marry a falang. People laughed about this later as she

was way upcountry.

I asked her what else he said. He said i die in a motorcycle accident. I

stopped asking anymore about this subject.

[eddie eagle]

Guys thanks for all the comments but it is perhaps best for me to give you guys some feedback and to close this post.

Taking on board all the comments made and having given the matter a lot of thought I have decided its time to walk away from her ......the past two weeks have been painful because these TG's can get right under your skin and she certainly did that .....but I have worked overseas long enough to know it is best to take an objective view......I have got messages through to her family for her to call me.....she hasn't......she has also had opportunity to be in contact over the last two weeks becasue TG's can come out of the temple during the day, if that's where she is ....but she hasn't .............in my book no answer is an answer and no point in digging deeper........I enjoyed it for 2 years but all good things come to an end...........its her decison so no point in trying to change that............the thing to do now is to move on.......... I very much appreciate the forum and the comments made / advice given.....it has been a big help

Edited June 25, 2005 by eddie eagle

[mpdkorat]

Guys thanks for all the comments but it is perhaps best for me to give you guys some feedback and to close this post.

Taking on board all the comments made and having given the matter a lot of thought I have decided its time to walk away from her  ......the past two weeks have been painful because these TG's can get right under your skin and she certainly did that .....but I have worked overseas long enough to know it is best to take an objective view......I have got messages through to her family for her to call me.....she hasn't......she has also had opportunity to be in contact over the last two weeks becasue TG's can come out of the temple during the day, if that's where she is ....but she hasn't .............in my book no answer is an answer and no point in digging deeper........I enjoyed it for 2 years but all good things come to an end...........its her decison so no point in trying to change that............the thing to do now is to move on.......... I very much appreciate the forum and the comments made / advice given.....it has been a big help 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good luck mate!

[bkkmadness]

Guys thanks for all the comments but it is perhaps best for me to give you guys some feedback and to close this post.

Taking on board all the comments made and having given the matter a lot of thought I have decided its time to walk away from her  ......the past two weeks have been painful because these TG's can get right under your skin and she certainly did that .....but I have worked overseas long enough to know it is best to take an objective view......I have got messages through to her family for her to call me.....she hasn't......she has also had opportunity to be in contact over the last two weeks becasue TG's can come out of the temple during the day, if that's where she is ....but she hasn't .............in my book no answer is an answer and no point in digging deeper........I enjoyed it for 2 years but all good things come to an end...........its her decison so no point in trying to change that............the thing to do now is to move on.......... I very much appreciate the forum and the comments made / advice given.....it has been a big help 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey fair enough dude, your life and all that, and who knows could be the right decision and you've 'called' the situation perfectly and it makes me think that over the last two years things have happened which have made you distrust her so much so an easy decision to make now, but don't you actually want to find out the actual facts just to know for sure you're not chucking a good thing away? It just seems logical to me.

[eddie eagle]

She has not given me any reason over the last two years to think this would happen ....quite frankly I trusted her and still do ......I think it just think the move to Japan with me may have been too much for her and she has decided to call it a day but doesn't know how to say it .....Abu Dhabi was ok but Japan is a much more difficult place to be.....perhaps she used temple genuinely as an excuse to put some distance between us and to go her own way......the fact she has not been in touch despite the fact I have got messages through to her family and it is now two weeks since I spoke with her is enough of an answer for me ................fair enough her choice..........talked it through with a couple of my mates who have seen us together over the last two years and they were surprised at her action ....very much out of character......but then with a TG who ever really knows what goes on in their mind ....the reason I am writing this answer to you BKKmadness is mainly to say she has not in the time I have known her given me any reason to doubt her honesty ...... but c'est la vie .....time to move on