Post Dump Discomfort

[Totster]

Most helpful post so far - cheers Thomas.

I'll pop along to the chemist now, don't really fancy the yoghurt treatment as it'll be messy and i'll have to keep it in the fridge and Val will probably eat it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually the yoghurt is a good method to remedy your problem, but you need to insert a slice of warm toast on top of the yoghurt. The heat speeds up the

anti-fungal properties of the yoghurt and by covering the yoghurt, the warm toast also prevents the yoghurt from drying out, again increasing it's effectiveness. It does require you to sleep on your stomach for the night, but it's worth it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Are you taking the piss?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, not at all, there's lots of home remedies using common everyday foods. For example, for jock itch or a fungal infection on the crotch, soaking your testicles in warm oatmeal works quite well. Another one is if you suffer from diarrhea, eat a bag of marshmallows and the sponge-effect will slow things up quite well. Yet another involves peanut butter, turpentine, wet gym socks, a pair of pliers, and a pile of dirt for treatment of premature ejaculation, but it's a rather involved and lengthy procedure.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh stop it... please...

I can just imagine him in his bathroom tonight having a go a your "remedies"..

totster

[OxfordWill]

Would that be bio or non bio natural yoghurt?

[TizMe]

Treatment is easy. Wash the offending parts just before retiring to bed. Dab with cotton wool soaked in Natural Plain Yoghurt. Let the Yoghurt stay in place (on your bum hole) over night.

Just don't fart during the night. Otherwise the ceiling is a bitch to get clean again.

[dereklev]

Most helpful post so far - cheers Thomas.

I'll pop along to the chemist now, don't really fancy the yoghurt treatment as it'll be messy and i'll have to keep it in the fridge and Val will probably eat it.

Actually the yoghurt is a good method to remedy your problem, but you need to insert a slice of warm toast on top of the yoghurt. The heat speeds up the

anti-fungal properties of the yoghurt and by covering the yoghurt, the warm toast also prevents the yoghurt from drying out, again increasing it's effectiveness. It does require you to sleep on your stomach for the night, but it's worth it.

Are you taking the piss?

No, not at all, there's lots of home remedies using common everyday foods. For example, for jock itch or a fungal infection on the crotch, soaking your testicles in warm oatmeal works quite well. Another one is if you suffer from diarrhea, eat a bag of marshmallows and the sponge-effect will slow things up quite well. Yet another involves peanut butter, turpentine, wet gym socks, a pair of pliers, and a pile of dirt for treatment of premature ejaculation, but it's a rather involved and lengthy procedure.

Oh stop it... please...

I can just imagine him in his bathroom tonight having a go a your "remedies"..

totster

Taking the piss or not John......

....your remedies are absolutely hilarious!!! :D

[LivinLOS]

Read up on Candidiasis (http://www.gmhc.org/health/treatment/factsheets/thrush.html) as its possibly a fungal infection thats (semi) internal.. If the itch is there you can investigate this anyway...

Many links etc discuss oral and vaginal as its most common but I think any orifice is suseptable..

[Crushdepth]

No, not at all, there's lots of home remedies using common everyday foods. For example, for jock itch or a fungal infection on the crotch, soaking your testicles in warm oatmeal works quite well. Another one is if you suffer from diarrhea, eat a bag of marshmallows and the sponge-effect will slow things up quite well. Yet another involves peanut butter, turpentine, wet gym socks, a pair of pliers, and a pile of dirt for treatment of premature ejaculation, but it's a rather involved and lengthy procedure.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

This is how they check for piles in Iceland.

[sriracha john]

Treatment is easy. Wash the offending parts just before retiring to bed. Dab with cotton wool soaked in Natural Plain Yoghurt. Let the Yoghurt stay in place (on your bum hole) over night.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just don't fart during the night. Otherwise the ceiling is a bitch to get clean again.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yet another reason to have that slice of warm toast in place first. It will help to deflect the yoghurt from hitting the ceiling and also absorb most of the direct force of any violent flatuence.

[Thomas_Merton]

Read up on Candidiasis (http://www.gmhc.org/health/treatment/factsheets/thrush.html) as its possibly a fungal infection thats (semi) internal.. If the itch is there you can investigate this anyway...

Many links etc discuss oral and vaginal as its most common but I think any orifice is suseptable..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

At least there is one other person out there, whose head is not firmly located up their arse, Scamp.

You should check out this link:

http://www.gmhc.org/health/treatment/factsheets/thrush.html

and comfort yourself with the fact you'll soon be laughing on the other cheeks, when the jokers who have written here, in a couple of months, are rubbing peaches and raspberry yoghurt into their &lt;deleted&gt;, trying desperately to remember the sensible advice given in this thread, as it goes up for them, that infections of the groin are not illnesses that just others get.

Anyone who dips their dick into the delights of the Thai temptresses (or tempters) is a congenital idiot if they do not know how to recognise and treat any form of infection - STDs or not.

[Totster]

This is how they check for piles in Iceland.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So... Kringle was right then...!?

totster

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Well I think I have sufficient information to remedy the problem.

If this thread continues with any more silly comments then it could get me into a hot water with the boss as it once did before so perhaps we could draw it to a close.

[Nickerelastic]

Scampy it could merely be because your diet/alcohol consumption has changed. You have described what my daughter delicately calls "a vodka bum"

If you're going to try thr yogurt method it must be Bio Yogurt.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I think that the Scamp is suffering from Arseritus

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I think that the Scamp is suffering from Arseritus    

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Doc, if you really found that as funny as your TWO smileys suggest then I am very surprised..

Your contribution justified a ' ' AT MOST!

There's me trying to be sensible and not encourage juvenile postings like last years 'Wart Of The Ring' episode that earned me a 7 day suspension and the second in command is giggling with the rest of them.

Make sure George knows that I accept no responsibility for any further puns or tomfoolery in this thread.

I'm just trying to cover my ass-I mean back.

Edited June 17, 2005 by The Gentleman Scamp

[dr_Pat_Pong]

You had no idea where this topic might lead eh Scamp ?

[Kringle]

This is how they check for piles in Iceland.

So you have been there already. Did they suggest the same thing as I?

This is how they check for piles in Iceland.

So... Kringle was right then...!?

totster

Will he ever learn to keep his crappe to himself or does he want his father to read this also?

You had no idea where this topic might lead eh Scamp ?

You try to teach people but you can't force them to learn.

[zzap]

This guy has an obsession with bums and certainly likes to look up his own.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

This guy has an obsession with bums and certainly likes to look up his own.   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

He's always been like that

[PeaceBlondie]

One serious reply: it still amazes me that men make such a big deal out of the so-called "dreaded rectal exam." It's only a finger, that belongs to a physician, a surgeon. They always use a lubricated, rubber glove. The procedure is only done when essential. It feels strange, but it usually has no pain, no side-effects. A rectal examination has nothing to do with your sexual preference. It could save your life (esp. if you have prostate cancer).

A rectal examination by a physician is usually more than just a finger probe. Some professional needs to look at the external anal ring to see if you have a skin infection, fungus, piles, or worms.

Physicians don't react to rectal problems like schoolboys and old men do. Don't let your fear of a rectal exam keep you from getting treatment for something that could be as serious as prostate cancer, bowel cancer, or parasites.

Finally, for all you jokesters who never grew up, here are a few emoticons:

[jayenram]

To quote Peter McCarthy becoming aware of the existance of suppositories:

"Surley not? Not with those big tablets? After all, if my parents had wanted me to have foreign objects pushed up my bottom, they could have sent me to public school"

[Jai Dee]

It's only a finger, that belongs to a physician, a surgeon.  They always use a lubricated, rubber glove.

Should have had it done in LOS Scampy... Thai doctor's fingers are more slender than those fat chunky falung doctor's digits...

[Dragonman]

It's only a finger, that belongs to a physician, a surgeon.  They always use a lubricated, rubber glove.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Should have had it done in LOS Scampy... Thai doctor's fingers are more slender than those fat chunky falung doctor's digits...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My doctor in the UK ain't got chunky fingers. Long black hair, 28 years old and female with short slender fingers. Make sure I get my postrate check every year Want her address Scamp?

[The Gentleman Scamp]

One serious reply: it still amazes me that men make such a big deal out of the so-called "dreaded rectal exam."  It's only a finger, that belongs to a physician, a surgeon.  They always use a lubricated, rubber glove.  The procedure is only done when essential.  It feels strange, but it usually has no pain, no side-effects.  A rectal examination has nothing to do with your sexual preference.  It could save your life (esp. if you have prostate cancer). 

A rectal examination by a physician is usually more than just a finger probe.  Some professional needs to look at the external anal ring to see if you have a skin infection, fungus, piles, or worms.

Physicians don't react to rectal problems like schoolboys and old men do.  Don't let your fear of a rectal exam keep you from getting treatment for something that could be as serious as prostate cancer, bowel cancer, or parasites.

Finally, for all you jokesters who never grew up, here are a few emoticons:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well said and a very valid point.

Would all these jokers confide in their fellow expats on their trusted forum if they had a medical query regarding their bottom?

Probably not.

I did expect a certain degree of schoolboyishness, but know the forum well enough to know that there's enough members to get valid replies.

I must also take part of the blame I will admit, I have not always earned the right to be taken seriously and often encourage my own pisstake because i can laugh at myself, however, how I word an opening post is usually a good indication of what sort of response I am after.

I'm alright, I'm not dissapointed because I knew what to expect and the post has gone better than I expected and I know what cream to buy.

And it turns out it is piles.

Edited June 18, 2005 by The Gentleman Scamp

[ThaiPauly]

You had no idea where this topic might lead eh Scamp ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Of course he did Doc, did you see the joke he posted in that section,? I think it went something like."

"Somebody asked me if I had any newspapers and I said I had piles" or something similar to that.

Why would he make fun of such a thing and then post a thread like this?

Scamp knows EXACTLY what he is doing, it's the people that give sensible answers he is taking the p#ss out of IMHO. He sets himself up on purpose, again only MHO

[Totster]

A rectal examination by a physician is usually more than just a finger probe.  Some professional needs to look at the external anal ring to see if you have a skin infection, fungus, piles, or worms.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Gay right.... ?

totster

Just joking around,,, don't get all anal retentive eh... !

[sriracha john]

It's only a finger, that belongs to a physician, a surgeon.  They always use a lubricated, rubber glove.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Should have had it done in LOS Scampy... Thai doctor's fingers are more slender than those fat chunky falung doctor's digits...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good point, JaiDee... As an example, here's just an average English proctologist's hand:

[Totster]

It's only a finger, that belongs to a physician, a surgeon.  They always use a lubricated, rubber glove.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Should have had it done in LOS Scampy... Thai doctor's fingers are more slender than those fat chunky falung doctor's digits...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good point, JaiDee... As an example, here's just an average English proctologist's hand:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Don't fancy those nails up me arse....

totster

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Me neither, they would tear the nipsy.

[kreon]

sorry could not resist, but this apparantly is a sexy bum for baboons

[Thetyim]

You had no idea where this topic might lead eh Scamp ?

Of course he did Doc, did you see the joke he posted in that section,? I think it went something like."

"Somebody asked me if I had any newspapers and I said I had piles" or something similar to that.

Why would he make fun of such a thing and then post a thread like this?

Scamp knows EXACTLY what he is doing, it's the people that give sensible answers he is taking the p#ss out of IMHO. He sets himself up on purpose, again only MHO

You might be right but it is always a good laugh.