Stress

[Patsycat]

You have probably noticed that i have been extremely erratic with my posts.

At the moment i have two months to leave my apartment. Which is causing me alot of grief. I have been here for five years and am settled etc. Plus i have the cat. And nowhere to go.

I just wanted to say sorry for throwing grief at anyone in any way.

I am against taking anysort of anti depressent or sleeping pill, having been a sort of drug addict in the past. So i sit here at 5 in the morning my time.

I am sure i shall sort something out, I have the luck of the Irish with me.

Sorry again, for the babbled silly song things.

But must admit, some of my comments arent so bad.

Ì shall still be here, but no more drunken patsy songs....... yet....

Shit forgot the smiley

[StreetCowboy]

There are lots of spiritually uplifting trite sayings we could offer, which I am sure you already know.

CONSTRUCTIVE TRIVIAL ADVICE

Two months should be plenty of time to find somewhere better or cheaper or larger or whatever. Be prepared for some trouble with the landlord about deposits - suggest agreeing that you run down the deposit against rent over the next couple of months; if he's a nice fella he'll agree, and if he doesn't all the more reason to do it.

MORALLY UPLIFTING TRITE SAYING

As a colleague with whom I used to row frequently used to say, whenever people were worrying about the future and over-planning "just <deleted> do it."

My sympathy and best wishes for the cat - does he get out much, or is he pretty much a house cat (flat cat?).

SC

[popmybubble]

I like your posts and hope you get something sorted soon

[sbk]

Wish I could help Patsy, surely there must be something available that you can afford and keep your cat.

[tonititan]

I like your posts too. I like anyone who stands up to the men on this forum on occasion.

Are you moving to a new apartment in the same city? Bangkok? That sucks about having to move if you don't want to. Moving is a pain. I'm sure you can find something though! Good luck, and vent your heart out!

[Mossfinn]

Patsy

I reckon you will be fine.

Just a word of advice, don't leave things to the last minute, hoping things will be 'alright on the night', because invariably they wont.

Start planning now and give yourself plenty of time to sort out all the niggling things that will only irritate you when they spring up when you have more important things to worry.

Make lists and start crossing through the items as you solve them, it will make you feel better with each cross through.

And just to make you feel better

it self

[Patsycat]

Moss we have been sending that song to each other for years!! Thanx.

You would not believe the lists and throwing out i have been doing. I have six banana boxes of books to sell, or else they are in the bin.

Clothes - don't ask.

Cat - my very nice mother told me to give him away - NO WAY - so i could find a flat on the 9th floor. Don't want to live up high because i have vertigo.

But, i talked to my best friend who lives in Dublin for an hour last night and he said"Pats, you will land on your feet, as you always do"

Just hoping i do. Maybe i am running out of lives - think i have about three and a half left.

Anyway, ladies - listen to that song because it kills and ups you at the same time!!! Its about an autisic child, who is loved. As they all are, my nephew is autistic. And stares at walls and attacks with love all at the same time. But we take it. He is 22 now and a big guy but when he launches himself at you all you can do is open your arms and catch him. But he still has those vacant eyes... Lives in his own little world.

[Patsycat]

Thanx again Mossy - I also went through the rest of the Dubliners after that song. I have done next year's 17th!!

[BasementCat]

Sending positive vibes to you and your cat, Patsycat. Good luck and I hope you'll find an even better apartment to live.

[Beechboy]

Sorry to go against the stream, but it is hardly the greatest of problems in the World today.

There are plenty of alternatives, even with cats. It doesn't warrant a sleepless night surely. Five am breakdowns are reserved for life's real hits, maybe a bad medical diagnosis or some such.

Get out there and look. In a few months time you might well find you are better off.

Come on!

[sbk]

Cheers for the positive reinforcement I am sure. Since this is the ladies forum and women come here to vent, a little consideration is usually required. And while I am sure for you its hardly noteworthy, for some of us, its simply a matter of showing we care.

[StreetCowboy]

Sorry to drift a little off-topic, and to find amusement in others' stress...

but it is entertaining the difference between the men's responses in this thread, and the ladies.

Whenever a man reads a post describing a problem, he assumes that is a request for help, and offers constructive suggestions - do it like this; stop mincing about and get on with it; - or whatever. Which is what I think Beechboy was trying to helpfully suggest.

Whenever a lady reads the same post, she offers support and sympathy and a big hug.

Anyway, a great thread to illustrate that, I think.

SC

Buck up, stiff upper lip!

When I was young we lived in a shoe box, and had to move every time it rained...etc

[tonititan]

Yes, but the OP didn't ask for help, and I don't think she was asking for anyone to "fix" her problem. If she woman wanted suggestions, she would have asked, since women aren't afraid to ask for help. She posted to apologize for things she might have said lately. Perhaps a man finds that belittling someone's problems and attempting to make her feel silly for worrying about something as "insignificant" as finding a new place to live is being helpful, but I sure don't see it that way.

You're right, though, men and women definitely react differently to things. That's probably why she posted the thread in the Ladies Forum - because she wanted support and encouragement, not a bunch of people basically telling her to "toughen up" and "get over it."

[sbk]

Well, cheers for that tonitan, you said it far more comprehensively than I did. Perhaps it will sink in, then again, probably not

[Beechboy]

Cheers for the positive reinforcement I am sure. Since this is the ladies forum and women come here to vent, a little consideration is usually required. And while I am sure for you its hardly noteworthy, for some of us, its simply a matter of showing we care.

Fair enough, but I have to be equally hard on myself. I am a worrier and have a tendency to feel sorry for myself at the slightest thing.

My reality check is to compare my own situation with less fortunates.

In this respect and in a very local context, perhaps the OP should spend more time in sympathy with the mother's and wives etc. of those killed on the streets of Bkk. recently, or for those left without work or means of a livlihood as a result of recent events.

I have also had first hand experience of the slums of Bkk, which are probably nearer to all us all than we imagine.

I wish her luck in her move, but more wish her general positivety. The latter will be more of a lasting benefit to her personal stressses and sleepless torments.

[sbk]

in all honesty I find this kind of thinking to be less than helpful when attempting to deal with a stressful situation. Nothing adds to stress like stressing over other people's issues and belittling my own. Rather, i prefer to tackle the problem i can handle and deal with it face on then worry over things I have no power over.

but again, as said before, OP wasn't looking for psychotherapy or even advice. its a woman thing, this just listen to me vent and be a sympathetic ear. Hence the post in the ladies forum

[Patsycat]

That's all I wanted to do. Was vent about what was going on in my life at the moment.

Not be told to do this or that, just to know that there are people out there when I am feeling a bit down and it is to late to call anyone.

Getting my thinking hat on this week and smiling!!

Thanks everyone. Shall keep you informed!!

And yes, I do think about the mothers, sisters and wives who have lost everything on the streets of Bangkok.

[F1fanatic]

That's all I wanted to do. Was vent about what was going on in my life at the moment.

Not be told to do this or that, just to know that there are people out there when I am feeling a bit down and it is to late to call anyone.

Getting my thinking hat on this week and smiling!!

Thanks everyone. Shall keep you informed!!

And yes, I do think about the mothers, sisters and wives who have lost everything on the streets of Bangkok.

Try not to worry Patsycat - there are lots of us thinking about you (and caring).

As one of my brothers says 'Life's a bitch and then you die' - sort of sums it up for me.

You'll be OK, and in a few months time will look back on this and wonder why you were so upset. If not, move in anywhere and KEEP LOOKING for the perfect place..

Good luck and best wishes.

[eek]

Thinking of you Patsy.

[Patsycat]

Don't worry, I have my tentacles out. This week already I am going to see a few places.

It's just the fact that i have been here for 4 years. Stable, secure, nice neighbours and neighbourhood. And to have start all again.

Packing, packing etc!!

Tomorrow is clothes day!!!! Three piles

1 Throw

2 Keep

3 Perhaps

The throw pile shall have some sort of grey t shirt on it!!!! The other two......

All my life, my dear mother has told me that i should sort my clothes out every spring and winter. Well, i never listened to her. Now, as i get older i have to admit that she was right. And that hurts!!!

Edited June 1, 2010 by Patsycat

[Patsycat]

To my friends here

the song

Edited June 2, 2010 by Patsycat

[GrahamF]

Please keep us updated on your move, I really hope it works out for you!. I think it's awesome that you are actually packing nearly two months in advance, I'm lucky if I can pack two days in advance! Change is tough, but it often works out for the best.....Here's hoping you find a better place and a better area, at a cheaper price!

Cheers! I just took a sip of a nice single malt scotch, while wishing you all the best!

[StreetCowboy]

Please keep us updated on your move, I really hope it works out for you!. I think it's awesome that you are actually packing nearly two months in advance, I'm lucky if I can pack two days in advance! Change is tough, but it often works out for the best.....Here's hoping you find a better place and a better area, at a cheaper price!

Cheers! I just took a sip of a nice single malt scotch, while wishing you all the best!

I know its a while back now, but how did the move go?

How did the cat cope? I hope the cat is well; whenever we moved, it was much more traumatic for the cats than for the rest of us.

My dear old mother is moving again, now, after just 30 years in the new house. Same drama, different cat...

SC

[IanForbes]

Good luck to you, Patsycat. You have been a breath of fresh air on this forum.

Luck runs in cycles and you have to take advantage when it is on the upswing and don't get down on yourself at the low points. Very often what seems to be a down turn is often a blessing in disguise. I can usually find a good point in every event... and even in tragic ones something good will come of it.

[eek]

Yes Patsy, hows the situation now? Stay positive. x

[perkie173]

I'm also interested to hear how you got on. Been lurking on these forums for a while now but only really post on the Samui one... really nice to see some genuine people here, its so easy to get lonely being a farang woman in Thailand. Me and the hubby are moving to Bangkok in the next couple of weeks, be really interesting to hear how you got on. Hope everything is good

[F1fanatic]

I understand your dislike of anti-depressants. They're necessary when things get TOO bad, but otherwise best avoided as its a nightmare coming off them....

Try hypericum (St John's Wort). Its a natural anti-depressant (plant extract) and works, although it takes 2-3 months to 'kick in'.

Hope things are working out for you - its never easy when you have pets to look after.

[Tippaporn]

Wishing you and the lil' puddin' pie the best, Patsy.

Tip

[Patsycat]

Update.

As some of you know the cat almost died a few weeks ago (ruptured bladder, hit by a car according to the vet) but is ok now and annoying the poo out of me!! Jumping around like a kitten, and he's 10.

I sprained my ankle the day before the cat got ill and still can't walk. I hobble around and hop and have crutches etc. The swelling has gone down, but now there is shooting pain all up the back of my leg. Back to the doctor on wednesday.

I am still in the original flat, i was supposed to be out by the 1st of August. But have no where to go. My landlady is taking me to court for squatting - even though the rent has been paid. This happened to a friend of mine and he was able to stay in his flat for 18 months. They have some law here that they cannot throw you out between the end of October and the end of March (too cold).

I am looking, though, and have a place to look at later on this week and hopefully another next week. The pain about Geneva is that there are too few flats and too many people wanting them.

So, i am still alive and kicking (albeit with only one good foot!!)

Thanks everyone, for your kind words!!

[sbk]

good luck patsy!