Marrying A Thai Lady

[djpowers]

Read between the lines, if you give in now to financial demands then perhaps the future will not be so rosey.

Good advice!!

Offer to pay the SinSod for show ONLY.

All to be returned afterwards, well the cash anyway!!

well this seems the best advice. Thankyou for all your advice and to the people who helped me. To the others who seem to think im clueless and know nothing about Thailand then they are sorely wrong. Visit many times a year. Have family there. And no she does not work in 'entertainment' industry. Some people are very sceptical and i do not value their comments.

[Tod Daniels]

Due to my proclivity for treading a little too close to the line in some of my posts (also known as ‘thai-bashing’ ) and after several extended holidays too boot ; I try to normally avoid these types of done-2-death threads.

However, sometimes they're like driving past terrible car accidents ; you don't want to look, but you can't help yourself, and hafta sneak a peek at the carnage as you pass by .

That you would ask on an anonymous internet forum for advice and then not value what ever comments you got, either good or bad, might be indicative that perhaps you're not as in touch with the 'real' thailand as you imagine yourself to be. Sadly, visiting many times a year isn't by any stretch of the imagination anything like actually living here, in and amongst these people day to day.

I know people who've come here 4-6 times a year for 20+ years yet are as dumb as a box of rocks when it comes to anything remotely linked to the every mysterious, and often mind wobbling thing known as thai-culture. Other than spouting canned rhetoric of what they heard, thought they heard or were told, they have no clue. That the thais seem to use this “cultural shield” in wildly aberrant, selective and often arbitrary ways, much like they do their buddhist up bringing (when it suits their needs at the time) doesn’t help the process of understanding from a foreign viewpoint either.

My personal experience is; I have yet to meet a thai man whose paid sin-sod for a previously married or 'second hand' wife, where the wife's family got to keep a single baht after the dog-&-pony show which makes up a thai traditional wedding. It was ONLY displayed for show and returned to the groom IMMEDIATELY after the ceremony concluded. Long before the rampant drink-fest started; which is also a key component of the dog-&-pony show thai wedding.

With that being said;

You would do well to heed the sage advice of the poster known as 'cdnvic' and the one known as 'anonymouse' (about the pinned thread about the all-too-often brought up topic of sin-sod). In fact, here’s the link to it: Sin Sod - An Explanation - Thailand Forum I think other posters opinions who advocate some cultural middle ground are also on the mark.

Good luck, you've got more than enough advice to make at least a semi-educated decision on the matter.

NOTE TO MODZ: if even this post is too close to the line, feel free to delete it at your discretion, and I will do my best to rein in my errant posting penchants.

[jayjayjayjay]

Do a deal, you'll show 500,000 baht in cash and 10 baht of gold ALL for show. That's my experience in Thai Village marriages. The previso it is yours and stays yours. When all is said and done you pack your bags with money and gold.

How does that help mom and the family though?

It doesn't, but a polite request for help from time to time is normal in any family, Thai families included.

[equium]

theres another thing to consider here.

all of the answers on here saying yes you should pay it how many of you are living in thailand and have daughters ?

do you sit there looking at them thinking theres my retirement fund cant wait to see how much i can sell her for.

my daughters euroasian i would be insulted if somebody offered to buy my daughter because basicly thats what it is.

i will be the one to pay for her wedding when the time comes there will be none of this dowy thing going on.my wife feels exactly the same as me about this,our daughter will marry for love not to the person we get the best price from.

just think about this for a minute there must be lots of you out there married to thai women who have daughters you are brining up and putting thru school then uni dose your thai wife talk about this to you saying we will get that money back when she marries someone.

[goldfinger]

read here:

Divorce From Thai Lady - Thailand Forum

[ozzieovaseas]

No problem with the English-language skills - just teach them Ostrayan.

:D

I wondered what language that ozzie was writing. :D

Well Ian, considering the places you yourself have lived in Australia, you should have no trouble understanding Taswigianese