You Can Please Some Of The People Some...

[bina]

a friend having difficulties with his mother, his daughter and his lover.... i tried to explain that u cant please everyone all of the time.... he 'tahm jai' everyone and is losing out to all...

so... is there a phrase or saying or something that is similar to the anglo: you can please some of the people some of the time (cant remember the real whole saying)but can not please all of the people all of the time...

i know "up to you' is a thai thing in general, and mothers are problematic for thai men (from traditional backgrounds) as in filial duty etc... so are there (heart ) words for choices/priorities, etc? seeing as making choices is fairly confrontational especially when its mothers/daughters etc...not talking here about choosing between yellow and blue...

please, in thai and transliteration (brain too tired to deal ) if possible

[BambinA]

a friend having difficulties with his mother, his daughter and his lover.... i tried to explain that u cant please everyone all of the time.... he 'tahm jai' everyone and is losing out to all...

so... is there a phrase or saying or something that is similar to the anglo: you can please some of the people some of the time (cant remember the real whole saying)but can not please all of the people all of the time...

i know "up to you' is a thai thing in general, and mothers are problematic for thai men (from traditional backgrounds) as in filial duty etc... so are there  (heart ) words for choices/priorities, etc?   seeing as making choices is fairly confrontational especially when its mothers/daughters etc...not talking here about choosing between yellow and blue...

please, in thai and transliteration (brain too tired to deal ) if possible

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

u need TH (i cant type thai from my laptop)

it 'd be "chauy dai kae nee" = i can help you just only this ..no more nor less

chauy = help

kae =just

(sometime in TH word meaning is vary)

bambi

Edited June 23, 2005 by BambinA

[greenwanderer108]

a friend having difficulties with his mother, his daughter and his lover.... i tried to explain that u cant please everyone all of the time.... he 'tahm jai' everyone and is losing out to all...

so... is there a phrase or saying or something that is similar to the anglo: you can please some of the people some of the time (cant remember the real whole saying)but can not please all of the people all of the time...

i know "up to you' is a thai thing in general, and mothers are problematic for thai men (from traditional backgrounds) as in filial duty etc... so are there  (heart ) words for choices/priorities, etc?  seeing as making choices is fairly confrontational especially when its mothers/daughters etc...not talking here about choosing between yellow and blue...

please, in thai and transliteration (brain too tired to deal ) if possible

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I can't think of any specific sayings to this, but I think in this situation your friend isn't 'tahm jai' ทำใจ but more likely ปลอบใจ and เอาใจ

Anyhow, you can take this anglo saying and make it work good in Thai as in

ถ้าจะปลอบใจบางคนบางเวลา ทำได้ แต่ถ้าจะปลอบใจทุกคนทุกเวลา ทำไม่ได้

ofcourse variations will work like changing ปลอบ to เอา or changing ทำได้ to ไม่มีปัญหา and ทำไม่ได้ to เดี๋ยวก็ต้องแย่

so it sounds good like this as well

ถ้าจะปลอบใจบางคนบางเวลา ไม่มีปัญหา แต่ถ้าจะปลอบใจทุกคนทุกเวลา เดี๋ยวก็ต้องแย่

(If [you try to] please some people some times, no problem, but if [you try to] please everybody all the time, you'll be a wreck!)

Hope this helps

[meadish_sweetball]

Bina most likely means ตามใจ and not ทำใจ (the problem with using transcription)...

I think the best expression for 'to please' in this context is เอาใจ 'ao jai' - I have only heard ปลอบใจ 'bplawb jai' used in the sense of 'to comfort' as in comforting somebody who is sad or down about something - but in other respects I think greenwanderer's translation sounds reasonable, so I base my suggestion on his structure:

thaa ja ao jai baang khon baang weelaa, tham dai, dtae mai saamaat ja ao jai thuk khon talawd weelaa dai nae nae

[yoot]

ตามใจ dtaam jai and เอาใจ ao jai are quite the same which mean to please someone.

" you can please some of the people some of the time (cant remember the real whole saying)but can not please all of the people all of the time..."

For this saying, it's something like you try to please and satisfy (ทำให้พอใจ-tám hâi por jai ) them. Which should translate as ;

" คุณสามารถทำให้คนบางคนพอใจได้ในบางเวลา แต่ไม่สามารถทำให้ทุกคนพอใจได้ตลอดเวลา "

koon săa-mâat tám hâi kon baang kon por jai dâai nai baang way-laa dtàe mâi săa-mâat tám hâi tóok kon por jai dâai dtà-lòt way-laa

i know "up to you' is a thai thing in general, and mothers are problematic for thai men (from traditional backgrounds) as in filial duty etc... so are there  (heart ) words for choices/priorities, etc?  seeing as making choices is fairly confrontational especially when its mothers/daughters etc...not talking here about choosing between yellow and blue.

I'm not so sure for this question but I can think of two (heart) words for this situation.

ชั่งใจ- châng jai means to weigh the pros and the cons , to consider , to weigh mentally

เอาแต่ใจ - ao dtàe jai means to think only of one''s own want. to be inconsiderate.

For example;

If both mother and daughter only think of their own want (เอาแต่ใจ) and you are between them. You have to please them but you need to make a decision who is the first priority, so you have to consider (ชั่งใจ).

[bina]

thanx all,

yes you all pretty close to the crux of the problem:

i found lots of 'jai' words (sorry, just way too hard to use on screen thai w/three lang. toggles) that sort of fit:

the person is truly a good person who must please his mother and obey her (he does), but wants to take care of his daughter (not living with him) but mother does not agree (dont ask why, too complicated) , and is thinking also of future with girlfriend etc etc....

he truly wants to please each person and not hurt them ... so thats were the the pleasing everyone quote is applicable

so if 'ao jai' is just pleasing someone by giving small gifts etc, than it doesnt apply, if it means obeying /major life decisions to please each person then may be applicable... tomorrow will try to find closest words...

yoot's quote and addtional explanations are close to what i was thinking...

words that convey emotional content are culture specific, carrying subtle meanings in the words that dont always translate correctly or with the same weight once translated

thanx again... will try it (the phrases) over phone tomorrow morning