Elderly Sexual Relations

[alvino]

An elderly couple, sitting together watching television.

During one of "those" commercials, the husband asked his wife,

"Whatever happened to our sexual relations?"

After a long thoughtful silence, the wife

replied during the next commercial,

"You know, I don't know. I don't even think we

got a

Christmas card from them this year!"

[kayo]

He!

Reminds me of an old joke about a man who for years and years begged his wife for a blowjob, to no avail.

One day hubbie ups and dies.

After his body has been cremated, wife puts the ashes out of the urn and on to the garden table.

She then proceeeds to blow the ashes out into the wind, the garden.

"There you go love. You finally get you Blow job"

[drummer]

So an old couple George and Martha - both about 90 years old, are having a torrid love affair in their nursing home. Well, torrid maybe isn't the right word... Each Tuesday, they meet in the TV lounge where she holds his sausage for about half an hour. Its not that much, but they're both 90- iots more than most of their compatriots get, so their happy.

Anyway, one day he doesn't show up - doesn't show up for 3 weeks in a row. Martha just thinks he kicked the bucket until she sees him hobbling down the hallway - at which opint she flips - she says "George! where the ###### have you been? I thought you died!"

George says "Well, I hate to tell you, but I've found another woman."

Martha: "I knew it - she's younger, prettier, shes"

George stops her there saying "actually, she's 102 and is confined to a wheelchair."

Martha: Well, What does she have that I don't have???"

George: "Parkinsons"

[alvino]

More nursing home humour

Jack says to Sarah,

"We have been in this nursing home together for yers now, and you know I want to be with you. I'm 87 and most likely don't have much more time. Let's make love tonight."

Sarah, who is 81 herself, thinks a minute and says,

"OK, be in my room at 7:30."

When Jack arrives in Sarah's room, she is sitting on her bed topless, and says to him,

"see these pills on my night table? They are for my acute angina."

Jack answers,

"Thank heavens, because your boobs look terrible."

[mnoorsapl]

you guys are funny. Thanks.

[IvanLaw]

He!

Reminds me of an old joke about a man who for years and years begged his wife for a blowjob, to no avail.

One day hubbie ups and dies.

After his body has been cremated, wife puts the ashes out of the urn and on to the garden table.

She then proceeeds to blow the ashes out into the wind, the garden.

"There you go love. You finally get you Blow job"

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Overheard at work

This BL**DY PC goes down on me more than the wife.

[kayo]

He!

Reminds me of an old joke about a man who for years and years begged his wife for a blowjob, to no avail.

One day hubbie ups and dies.

After his body has been cremated, wife puts the ashes out of the urn and on to the garden table.

She then proceeeds to blow the ashes out into the wind, the garden.

"There you go love. You finally get you Blow job"

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Overheard at work

This BL**DY PC goes down on me more than the wife.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Also,

"This PC costs me less than my wife, does more for me, and is actually somewhat resourceful."

"I feel more connected with my PC than my wife"

[mnoorsapl]

He!

Reminds me of an old joke about a man who for years and years begged his wife for a blowjob, to no avail.

One day hubbie ups and dies.

After his body has been cremated, wife puts the ashes out of the urn and on to the garden table.

She then proceeeds to blow the ashes out into the wind, the garden.

"There you go love. You finally get you Blow job"

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Overheard at work

This BL**DY PC goes down on me more than the wife.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Also,

"This PC costs me less than my wife, does more for me, and is actually somewhat resourceful."

"I feel more connected with my PC than my wife"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

But gettin' inter-connected with me GF should be more fun.

[Jai Dee]

This BL**DY PC goes down on me more than the wife.

I think tukyleith has got that as his signature...