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Blonde Jokes


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:o Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench

talking ........

and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think

is farther

away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde

turns and says

"Helloooooooooo!!! can you see Florida.......?????"

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells

the mechanic it

died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is

idling smoothly. She

says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in

the carburetor". She

asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks

her very nicely if

he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I

wish you guys would

get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my

license and then

today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a

river and sees another

blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,

"How can I get to the

other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then

down the river and

shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on

the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the

blonde behind the

wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious

to his flashing

lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,

turned on his

bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde

yelled back, "IT'S A

SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one

day. The Russian

said, "We were the first in space!" The American said,

"We were the first

on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going

to be the first on

the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each

other and shook

their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot!

You'll burn up!"

said! the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're

not stupid, you

know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was

her turn. She

rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her question was, "If

you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can

you hear it?" She

thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had

acquired two new dogs, and

asked her what their names were. The blonde responded

by saying that one

was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend

said, "Whoever heard

of someone naming dogs like that?"

HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're

watch dogs.

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