Prostitution : Is It Wrong To Pay For Sex ?

[elkangorito]

I think you missed the point. Which is not uncommon here.

I only meant that the money you spend can wind up in the hands of drug dealers which, in turn, goes to funding some very bad enterprises.

Who would get into a drug-addled taxi driver's car, anyway?

Maybe you didn't miss the point. Are you saying you frequent women who you know are drug-addicts?

Anybody can be a drug addict...or did you miss that point?

[mark45y]

I think you missed the point. Which is not uncommon here.

I only meant that the money you spend can wind up in the hands of drug dealers which, in turn, goes to funding some very bad enterprises.

Who would get into a drug-addled taxi driver's car, anyway?

Maybe you didn't miss the point. Are you saying you frequent women who you know are drug-addicts?

Yes to both questions. All the motorcycle taxi drivers take and sell ya ba. At least all the ones I have watched for more than an hour. You can watch them make a buy or delivery and watch the way they drive.

I’d say 80% of the hookers are yabbad up. 90% of the dancers. It’s easy to tell. Mamma sans push the stuff to keep the girls thin and make some money on the side so it is readily available.

This was not the case even a couple of years ago. It is a recent phenomenon. PS the drug dealers enterprises! You don't know who moves the drugs in Thailand! Oh well, best do some research. Remember, I didn't tell you.

[sokal]

I am no mullah passing judgment on what is right and what is wrong. And I certainly don't know where the line changes from prostitute to non-prostitute.

To me, the above case would be one of a prostitute and john as I believe she was with you for financial assistance even if she may have been selective on who she was with. But if it matters on whether this was really prostitution, then the only thing that matters is the legal view and your view. Legally, this would be hard to convict as prostitution. And if you were happy with your experience, with no legal consequences, then it doesn't matter one whit as to what anyone else thinks.

I have and I know many men who offer huge financial assistance to their girlfriends in the west. My brother insures and pays for the gas in his girlfriends car. If somebody considered them prostitutes they would go insane and kill you. This is where the gray area comes in again.

The fantasy is not the girl's, it is the guy's. And the bargirls who go with a customer for the night are almost always playing a role. If you can see it, find The Good Women of Bangkok and watch it.

Yes, I understand but in some cases the girl is not acting, she might actually like the guy she is with

[mommysboy]

"And why did those guys go with prostitutes ? Probably because their female partners where not holding up their end of the bargain in bed.

I might add that if the guy won the lottery the day before, I am sure the woman would not have a problem holding up her end of the bargain the next night."

Ooch not my idea of a good time. But if it turns you on!

I heard that prostitution is only ever illegal if the Mrs finds out!

Seriously, am I the only one that found it very boring very quickly?

[sokal]

I suppose a young man coming to Thailand might have some use for your thoughts. But for the life of me I can't see any reason (with the exception of the outrageous salaries some helicopter pilots make) why a man under 60 would set foot on these shores.

You seem to think that it easier for young men to get sex or pick up women in the west then it really is. I have met allot of young men that come to Thailand to get laid and you would be surprised how good looking and charismatic some of these guys are. I don't just come for the women BTW, I like everything about Thailand.

If you have a job like mine or you don't spend all your money on a flashy car or truck, or you grow up in a conservative Christian town your, your not getting very much action from the ladies.

[sokal]

I think you missed the point. Which is not uncommon here.

I only meant that the money you spend can wind up in the hands of drug dealers which, in turn, goes to funding some very bad enterprises.

Who would get into a drug-addled taxi driver's car, anyway?

Maybe you didn't miss the point. Are you saying you frequent women who you know are drug-addicts?

Yes to both questions. All the motorcycle taxi drivers take and sell ya ba. At least all the ones I have watched for more than an hour. You can watch them make a buy or delivery and watch the way they drive.

I'd say 80% of the hookers are yabbad up. 90% of the dancers. It's easy to tell. Mamma sans push the stuff to keep the girls thin and make some money on the side so it is readily available.

This was not the case even a couple of years ago. It is a recent phenomenon. PS the drug dealers enterprises! You don't know who moves the drugs in Thailand! Oh well, best do some research. Remember, I didn't tell you.

80 or 90% ? Not true. Every time the police kick the door down of a nightclub like Mixx, Lucifers or Marine and piss test the patrons, less then 10% of the people fail the test.There is usually more girls then guys in those places too. I even got to know an English bloke who was part owner of a few beer bars. They would not even have girls on staff that did drugs because the police would shut them down if they where caught.

[MB1]

Quoting Sokal.

The girls in Thailand are not always acting out a fantasy, not for the younger guys at least.

I am 26 years old, 6 foot 3, 190 pounds,decent looks and a athletic build. I have an oil patch job, I work really long hours, I bounce from province to province depending on the time of year. Sometimes I live in camps, usually just hotels though.I make good money but it is awfully hard to meet women and even if I meet them it is just as hard to establish a meaningful relationship. I never grew up in the 60's but allot of older men seem to think that it is easier for young men to get women in the west then it really is.

When I get a month or so off work I come to Thailand. I have been meeting girls at places like Gulivers or Gazebo in Bangkok. Sometimes I don't really know if the girls I am with are actual "prostitutes". I met the girl I was with last time on the dance floor. We drank and danced and she just came with me to my hotel that night. The next morning she told me that she was laid off work because of the red shirts. I told her how long i was staying(month) and she just said that she could be my girlfriend for a short time. So we went to Phuket and a few days later she said she needed to pay her rent so I gave her 3500 bht. We had a great 4 weeks together.Towards the end of the trip she had a few other bills come up that I paid. I still chat with that one on MSN a little bit.

So is this girl a "prostitute" ? am I a "john" ? I didn't think so, we both considered ourselves a couple. I have had the same fling with girls that I knew where bargirls but those girls also considered us a couple for the time being and I was not paying a daily rate or anything. I know a few other guys that do the same thing.

In Thailand there is a huge gray area on the subject of prostitution.

If your talking about Gullivers Kho San road, then in my expeirience Gullivers is a place where you can easily pick up a girl, all of girls seem to be freelance IMO and I've never heard of any kind of bar fine in Gullivers, (but just because someone pays no barfine, does not mean the girl is not a prostitute) but all of the time I've been there with freinds and a freind has taken a girl it's always resulted in payment being made to the girl for her time and services.

As for your taking a girl you met to Phuket and your saying you spent four weeks with her, gave her 3500 baht for her rent and also ended up paying/giving her more for other bills that came up, I take it that you paid for all the hotel bills, flight costs, food ,drink, transport costs and don't the girls always want presents like a new handbag or some type of clothing, maybe beach wear,at the end of the day I'd say if you added up all the costs for your 4 weeks with her I'd say it came to a fair amount.

You ask if the girl was a prostitute and are you a John, IMO the answer is yes to both your questions, do you think she'd have stayed with you for 4 weeks if you'd have said she would have to pay half of everything.

You say she'd said she was laid off work because of the red shirts, was she really or was she making this up to make you think she was an honest working girl with a normal job.

Is it wrong to pay for sex, IMO I still say no, it's up to 2 or more consenting adults taking part in a buisness transaction, supply and demand.

Man sees woman he likes, woman says okay and off they go to conduct buisness, mans happy with what he receives and pays agreed amount, womans happy with what she receives and off she go's with the money she's been paid.

Simples.

Edited July 15, 2010 by MB1

[sokal]

Quoting Sokal.

The girls in Thailand are not always acting out a fantasy, not for the younger guys at least.

I am 26 years old, 6 foot 3, 190 pounds,decent looks and a athletic build. I have an oil patch job, I work really long hours, I bounce from province to province depending on the time of year. Sometimes I live in camps, usually just hotels though.I make good money but it is awfully hard to meet women and even if I meet them it is just as hard to establish a meaningful relationship. I never grew up in the 60's but allot of older men seem to think that it is easier for young men to get women in the west then it really is.

When I get a month or so off work I come to Thailand. I have been meeting girls at places like Gulivers or Gazebo in Bangkok. Sometimes I don't really know if the girls I am with are actual "prostitutes". I met the girl I was with last time on the dance floor. We drank and danced and she just came with me to my hotel that night. The next morning she told me that she was laid off work because of the red shirts. I told her how long i was staying(month) and she just said that she could be my girlfriend for a short time. So we went to Phuket and a few days later she said she needed to pay her rent so I gave her 3500 bht. We had a great 4 weeks together.Towards the end of the trip she had a few other bills come up that I paid. I still chat with that one on MSN a little bit.

So is this girl a "prostitute" ? am I a "john" ? I didn't think so, we both considered ourselves a couple. I have had the same fling with girls that I knew where bargirls but those girls also considered us a couple for the time being and I was not paying a daily rate or anything. I know a few other guys that do the same thing.

In Thailand there is a huge gray area on the subject of prostitution.

If your talking about Gullivers Kho San road, then in my expeirience Gullivers is a place where you can easily pick up a girl, all of girls seem to be freelance IMO and I've never heard of any kind of bar fine in Gullivers, (but just because someone pays no barfine, does not mean the girl is not a prostitute) but all of the time I've been there with freinds and someone has taken a girl it's always resulted in payment being made to the girl for her time and services.

As for your taking a girl you met to Phuket and your saying you spent four weeks with her, gave her 3500 baht for her rent and also ended up paying/giving her more for other bills that came up, I take it that you paid for all the hotel bills, flight costs, food ,drink, transport costs and don't the girls always want presents like a new handbag or some type of clothing, maybe beach wear,at the end of the day I'd say if you added up all the costs for your 4 weeks with her I'd say it came to a fair ammount.

You ask if the girl was a prostitute and are you a John, IMO the answer is yes to both your questions, do you think she'd have stayed with you for 4 weeks if you'd have said she would have to pay half of everything.

You say she'd said she was laid off work because of the red shirts, was she really or was she making this up to make you think she was an honest working girl with a normal job.

Is it wrong to pay for sex, IMO I still say no, it's up to 2 or more consenting adults taking part in a buisness transaction, supply and demand.

Man sees woman he likes, woman says okay and off they go to conduct buisness, mans happy with what he receives and pays agreed amount, womans happy with what she receives and off she go's with the money she's been paid.

Simples.

How many western couples to you see traveling in Thailand together ?

Do you think those couples are splitting the hotel bills, flight costs, food ,drink and transport costs ?

Those costs would have been a fair amount whether the color of the skin of my girlfriend was brown or white but just because her skin was brown, you are labeling her a prostitute.

Edited July 15, 2010 by sokal

[MB1]

How many western couples to you see traveling in Thailand together ?

Do you think those couples are splitting the hotel bills, flight costs, food ,drink and transport costs ?

Those costs would have been a fair amount whether the color of the skin of my girlfriend was brown or white but just because her skin was brown, you are labeling her a prostitute.

You asked the questions in your post, I responded to your post and said IMO yes she was and yes you was a John, remember that IMO means "in my opinion", obviously your opinion differs from mine, maybe your in denial.

As to your other 2 questions,do your own research and ask them yourself when you see them.

Oh and don't forget that in your previous post you did say the below quote.

Sometimes I don't really know if the girls I am with are actual "prostitutes".

Stop playing the race card Sokal,it's got nothing to do with the colour of her skin, she could have been a white Russian for all I care.

Your still picking up girls where freelancers are well known to operate.

HTH.

Edited July 15, 2010 by MB1

[sokal]

How many western couples to you see traveling in Thailand together ?

Do you think those couples are splitting the hotel bills, flight costs, food ,drink and transport costs ?

Those costs would have been a fair amount whether the color of the skin of my girlfriend was brown or white but just because her skin was brown, you are labeling her a prostitute.

You asked the questions in your post, I responded to your post and said IMO yes she was and yes you was a John, remember that IMO means "in my opinion", obviously your opinion differs from mine, maybe your in denial.

You are obviously the one in denial because you failed to answer my 2 other questions even though you know what the answer is.

As to your other 2 questions,do your own research and ask them yourself when you see them.

I don't have to ask them because you know as well as I do that in most cases the man is the breadwinner in a relationship. In your world I guess that makes the man a "john"

Stop playing the race card Sokal,it's got nothing to do with the colour of her skin, she could have been a white Russian for all I care.

Your still picking up girls where freelancers are well known to operate.

No actually allot of Thai school girls and regular girls hang out at those spots.

[thaifkrlim]

after all your valuable views and disputable opinions, i still feel it is not wrong to pay for sex , while it is very wrong not to pay for sex because with monetary rewards only we can guarantee good performance, or at least good motivated performance but still im not advocating prostitution, it is just that prostitution works well justified rewards, on both parties

[MB1]

Oh well Sokal, it's obvious to me that your still in denial to yourself, you actually did say in a post and I'll repeat it below...

Sometimes I don't really know if the girls I am with are actual "prostitutes".

Educate yourself on the strokes working girls will pull to get a customer and maybe when you've been in Thailand a lot longer you'll begin to realise that many of the girls you have been with were actually working girls/prostitutes, and even though you may not pay a girls bar fine or a daily/weekly/monthly rate your still paying in a round about way by funding a life style for them whilst also giving them money for rent and other things.

I've known many people who have come to Thailand and hook up with women without paying a bar fine or daily rate etc, the difference between you and them though is that their wise enough to realise whilst paying for everthing plus money for rent/family etc that the person their with is actually a working girl.

There's nothing wrong with paying for sex IMO Sokal so stop denying it and get jiggy with it.

By the way I purposely choose to not answer your questions ref western couples travelling together because IMO it has nothing to do with this debate, and neither IMO has Thai scoolgirls who hang out in the places you mention.

PS, don't take it personal if I no longer reply to any posts you reply to of mine, I think we have discussed enough and I don't want to ruin the thread by playing verbal gymnastics with you.

Edited July 15, 2010 by MB1

[sokal]

Oh well Sokal, it's obvious to me that your still in denial to yourself, you actually did say in a post and I'll repeat it below...

Sometimes I don't really know if the girls I am with are actual "prostitutes".

You did not get the tone of that post. Notice how I wrote "sometimes" ? also notice that I had prostitute in quotes because it is depends on a certain persons definition of the term.

your still paying in a round about way by funding a life style for them whilst also giving them money for rent and other things.

Everyone pays for sex in a round about way. Even you do. Or do you live in a crazy world where girls just run around having sex with men without any dinners, movies or concerns for commitment ?

There's nothing wrong with paying for sex IMO Sokal so stop denying it and get jiggy with it.

Again, you are the one that is denying that you pay for sex and I never said there is anything wrong with it.

By the way I purposely choose to not answer your questions ref western couples travelling together because IMO it has nothing to do with this debate,

Well you sure didn't convince me with that insightful reasoning that it has nothing to do with this debate

Verbal gymnastics ? I made a good case that prostitution, especially in Thailand is a gray area and not as black and white as western women would like you to believe. You are the one that needs to spend more time in Thailand to figure it out.

[GuestHouse]

Everyone pays for sex in a round about way. Even you do. Or do you live in a crazy world where girls just run around having sex with men without any dinners, movies or concerns for commitment ?

This is an oft repeated theme within this thread and leads me to wonder;

Do the men who repeat the mantra "Everyone pays for sex in a round about way" do so out of a long held conviction that this is the way of the world (something they've always believed, or believed before they came to Thailand). Is this a line of thought that came to them only after using prostitues (a rationalization of their behaviour) or do they sincerely believe that the only thing they have to offer a woman is the money in their wallet (their self emasculation having removed any thought that they might have any other value as a man)?

[Ulysses G.]

Everyone pays for sex in a round about way. Even you do. Or do you live in a crazy world where girls just run around having sex with men without any dinners, movies or concerns for commitment ?

This is an oft repeated theme within this thread and leads me to wonder;

Do the men who repeat the mantra "Everyone pays for sex in a round about way" do so out of a long held conviction that this is the way of the world (something they've always believed, or believed before they came to Thailand). Is this a line of thought that came to them only after using prostitues (a rationalization of their behaviour)...

It is more like a profound realization that came to them after sleeping with a few sex workers and seeing that it was nothing like what they had been brainwashed into believing back home. What I have to wonder about is the delusions of those who try so hard to deny it.

Edited July 16, 2010 by Ulysses G.

[sarahsbloke]

Everyone pays for sex in a round about way. Even you do. Or do you live in a crazy world where girls just run around having sex with men without any dinners, movies or concerns for commitment ?

This is an oft repeated theme within this thread and leads me to wonder;

Do the men who repeat the mantra "Everyone pays for sex in a round about way" do so out of a long held conviction that this is the way of the world (something they've always believed, or believed before they came to Thailand). Is this a line of thought that came to them only after using prostitues (a rationalization of their behaviour)...

It is more like a profound realization that came to them after sleeping with a few sex workers and seeing that it was nothing like what they had been brainwashed into believing back home. What I have to wonder about is the delusions of those who try so hard to deny it.

It also has to do with their merciless former western wife doing and saying anything in the divorce to get more money.

Where their greed shows no consideration for anyone else, and we are forced to become aware of what our past relationship was really all about.

[bonobo]

There's an awful lot of 60 and 70 something Farang men pushing their infant children around Thailand in baby buggies, which might suggest that while Mark45y's comments are entertaining they are not entirely founded in the reality out there.

 I know a 72-year-old westerner who just had a son 5 or 6 months ago with his 36-year-old wife, and he takes that kid everywhere, so yes, that would support your post.

[GreenSnapper]

There's an awful lot of 60 and 70 something Farang men pushing their infant children around Thailand in baby buggies, which might suggest that while Mark45y's comments are entertaining they are not entirely founded in the reality out there.

 I know a 72-year-old westerner who just had a son 5 or 6 months ago with his 36-year-old wife, and he takes that kid everywhere, so yes, that would support your post.

Certainly. An awful lot, that man.

[imaneggspurt]

In the western world (I'm making assumptions, never paid for sex there with cash upfront) prostitutes of the get them in, get them done, get them out variety while turning their heads to one side and having the 'get it over with' attitude had no attraction for me at all, in fact they would appear to be pretty much the same as my former UK wife .... so no desire to indulge.

In Thailand this was entirely different, 'I love you so much', exactly what I was looking for, a woman who made some pretense of loving me and wanting to be in bed with me. Do I care if it is real or not, not at all, I'm happy with the fantasy .........

i believe that you have a very valid point. I know men who would never patronize a prostitute in the west but enjoy the girl friend experience that is reputed to be the norm in Thailand or the Philippines, for example. And this is true even if they completely understand that this experience is just an act.

From reputation, prostitutes in the US seem to fall under the uber-expensive corporate call girl we read about when some bank or such goes under or the "$5 crack whore." One is out of reach for most men, the other scares most men. But for men without a partner or with a partner who doesn't fill that niche, then the fantasy available here is what they are buying.

The girls in Thailand are not always acting out a fantasy, not for the younger guys at least.

I am 26 years old, 6 foot 3, 190 pounds,decent looks and a athletic build. I have an oil patch job, I work really long hours, I bounce from province to province depending on the time of year. Sometimes I live in camps, usually just hotels though.I make good money but it is awfully hard to meet women and even if I meet them it is just as hard to establish a meaningful relationship. I never grew up in the 60's but allot of older men seem to think that it is easier for young men to get women in the west then it really is.

When I get a month or so off work I come to Thailand. I have been meeting girls at places like Gulivers or Gazebo in Bangkok. Sometimes I don't really know if the girls I am with are actual "prostitutes". I met the girl I was with last time on the dance floor. We drank and danced and she just came with me to my hotel that night. The next morning she told me that she was laid off work because of the red shirts. I told her how long i was staying(month) and she just said that she could be my girlfriend for a short time. So we went to Phuket and a few days later she said she needed to pay her rent so I gave her 3500 bht. We had a great 4 weeks together.Towards the end of the trip she had a few other bills come up that I paid. I still chat with that one on MSN a little bit.

So is this girl a "prostitute" ? am I a "john" ? I didn't think so, we both considered ourselves a couple. I have had the same fling with girls that I knew where bargirls but those girls also considered us a couple for the time being and I was not paying a daily rate or anything. I know a few other guys that do the same thing.

In Thailand there is a huge gray area on the subject of prostitution.

Sorry to have the break it to you buddy, but yes, she was/is a prostitute, NO thai lady would sleep with a guy on the first night, and NO thai lady would ask for money, some will disagree with me but after 22 years in thailand i have a fair idea of how thailand and the ladies operate,

[bonobo]

I am no mullah passing judgment on what is right and what is wrong. And I certainly don't know where the line changes from prostitute to non-prostitute.

To me, the above case would be one of a prostitute and john as I believe she was with you for financial assistance even if she may have been selective on who she was with. But if it matters on whether this was really prostitution, then the only thing that matters is the legal view and your view. Legally, this would be hard to convict as prostitution. And if you were happy with your experience, with no legal consequences, then it doesn't matter one whit as to what anyone else thinks.

I have and I know many men who offer huge financial assistance to their girlfriends in the west. My brother insures and pays for the gas in his girlfriends car. If somebody considered them prostitutes they would go insane and kill you. This is where the gray area comes in again.

The difference is in the concept of the relationship, in my opinion. A long-term g/f is one thing. But you were on a short-term fling, and as you wrote, if I remember correctly, you have done this with known bargirls. I am not damning you. You asked a question. For me, if a bargirl is with you for an hour or two weeks, and whether you pay by the hour or pay for her rent, a prostitute is a prostitute.

The fantasy is not the girl's, it is the guy's. And the bargirls who go with a customer for the night are almost always playing a role. If you can see it, find The Good Women of Bangkok and watch it.

Yes, I understand but in some cases the girl is not acting, she might actually like the guy she is with

I agree. The only professional woman with whom I really ever talked had been a high-end (very high-end) girl at one of the Thai establishments. She had just turned 30 and was now looking for marriage. She told me some horror stories of her former job, but she also said that sometimes (not usually, but sometimes), she enjoyed it and her clients.

But the point is that most men who are frequenting bars in Thailand are buying into the fantasy, just as most bargirls are providing that. Just as we buy into the fantasy at the movies or going to Disneyland. We don't know of any 10-foot blue people on other planets, but we can enjoy seeing the fantasy come to life on the big screen.

[Heng]

right or wrong, it's sure convenient and a lot of fun.

[sokal]

Everyone pays for sex in a round about way. Even you do. Or do you live in a crazy world where girls just run around having sex with men without any dinners, movies or concerns for commitment ?

This is an oft repeated theme within this thread and leads me to wonder;

Do the men who repeat the mantra "Everyone pays for sex in a round about way" do so out of a long held conviction that this is the way of the world (something they've always believed, or believed before they came to Thailand). Is this a line of thought that came to them only after using prostitues (a rationalization of their behaviour) or do they sincerely believe that the only thing they have to offer a woman is the money in their wallet (their self emasculation having removed any thought that they might have any other value as a man)?

well I dunno. I grew up in a fairly wealthy neighborhood. When all of the guys in the area where turning 16, it was the guys with the nicest cars that picked up the best looking women. These guys parents would write a check for the car and charge the kid a no interest loan. My parents didnt do that so I was kinda left out. One guy bought a $31,000 1998 Pontiac Trans Am and another guy had a 1999 $40,000 Camaro SS and so on. Over the years I have lost contact with those people but I know one of them married one of those tire biters.

So yes, that is how I seen it as I grew up.

[sokal]

Sorry to have the break it to you buddy, but yes, she was/is a prostitute, NO thai lady would sleep with a guy on the first night, and NO thai lady would ask for money, some will disagree with me but after 22 years in thailand i have a fair idea of how thailand and the ladies operate,

Thats just your opinion mate. As far as I am concerned, prostitutes are the ones that get paid for half hour flings and such, or massage girls.

Not the girls that get a boyfriend for an extended period of time and receive the benefits that a boyfriend typically bares.

Edited July 16, 2010 by sokal

[bonobo]

Everyone pays for sex in a round about way. Even you do. Or do you live in a crazy world where girls just run around having sex with men without any dinners, movies or concerns for commitment ?

This is an oft repeated theme within this thread and leads me to wonder;

Do the men who repeat the mantra "Everyone pays for sex in a round about way" do so out of a long held conviction that this is the way of the world (something they've always believed, or believed before they came to Thailand). Is this a line of thought that came to them only after using prostitues (a rationalization of their behaviour) or do they sincerely believe that the only thing they have to offer a woman is the money in their wallet (their self emasculation having removed any thought that they might have any other value as a man)?

well I dunno. I grew up in a fairly wealthy neighborhood. When all of the guys in the area where turning 16, it was the guys with the nicest cars that picked up the best looking women.  These guys parents would write a check for the car and charge the kid a no interest loan. My parents didnt do that so I was kinda left out. One guy bought a $31,000 1998 Pontiac Trans Am and another guy had a 1999 $40,000 Camaro SS and so on. Over the years I have lost contact with those people but I know one of them married one of those tire biters.

So yes, that is how I seen it as I grew up.

I think you (and some other posters as well) are really missing a huge point here.  Marriage or other relationships, East and West, are not about "paying for sex."  Paying for sex is something a person does with a prostitute.  You have the sex, then you leave.  The sex is the prime purpose of the liaison. 

Marriage is much more than sex.  It is about kids, love, friendship, companionship, not being lonely, having someone to care for you, laughter, mental stimulation, public or family acceptance, whatever.  Yes, in most relationships, sex is part of that.  But it is not the reason in totality for most marriages.

If sex was the only motivator, then it would be foolish to get married on a purely cost basis.  The numbers don't add up.  But how many men or women get married just to have sex?

And if women gravitate towards men who have money, so what?  Women throughout history have tended towards men who are successful, and money is just one indication that a guy is successful.  (Along with positions of power, athletic ability, good singers, etc.)  Men tend to gravitate more to the physical attributes of a woman (maybe going back to wanting healthy women to bear children).  Just look at this thread.  How many posters have derided "old fat women."    In another thread going on now, a poster made fun of fat foreigners who show cleavage.

The fact that many women are attracted to the trappings of wealth makes no difference to the argument that marriage is prostitution, that a man is "paying for sex" by getting married.  This would only be true where both the man and the woman are together only for sex and the exchange of money.

[bonobo]

Sorry to have the break it to you buddy, but yes, she was/is a prostitute, NO thai lady would sleep with a guy on the first night, and NO thai lady would ask for money, some will disagree with me but after 22 years in thailand i have a fair idea of how thailand and the ladies operate,

Thats just your opinion mate. As far as I am concerned, prostitutes are the ones that get paid for half hour flings and such, or massage girls.

Not the girls that get a boyfriend for an extended period of time and receive the benefits that a boyfriend typically bares.

Calling a cow a racehorse does not make it one. It is still a cow. You can even saddle it up and take it for a ride, but it is still a cow.

But if it makes you happy to call that cow Secretariat, then no harm, no foul.

IMHO.

[TAWP]

How many men do you know in the West that have taken a prostitute as a wife (or g/f)????

Its considered way beyond social acceptance!

One issue is sometimes that many men don't know that their wifes/gf's were part-timers.

I recently was at a big birthday party at a very hip club downtown and found myself to be one of the youngest males in the crowd while all the girls was in the same age as my gf (i.e. my age and a few years above). This crowd was a fairly large chunk of wealthy and semi-wealthy men in different professions and of upper middle age and above. And I know for a fact that several of their companions (incl. the wife of the birthday 'boy') has worked in a massage place (some years before she meet him) and some of them sometimes still do some job in the side for past clients that they like...(becomes a 'payed gik', kinda thing).

Now, I don't have an issue with their past job. Only thing I take offense with is the deception that some of them (not the majority) do with still working at times. Or as in the case of some, still having some 'normal giks' (often young foreign boys) on the side when their man is away and working too much around the world.

Dishonesty is way bigger issue for me than a persons past work history, that they got in their attempt to feed themselves and their family.

But then again, I am not hampered by a fake 'christian morality' etc that was created to control women and their sexuality.

[GuestHouse]

So it's clear - There's a bunch of guys here who firmly hold (and are keen to express) the view that the only thing they have to offer a women is the money in their wallet.

Now I take on board the envy of rich kids in the neighbourhood, and getting shafted in the divorce courts - but surely these things have not completely 'castrated' men to the point they believe they cannot offer a woman anything but money.

I mean that is the message here isn't it? Guys who can't deal with a woman unless she's under a financial contract to deal with the guy.

And this is precisely the harm that using prostitutes causes the men who do so. It creates, or at the very least promotes this emasculated mindset.

I think this puts the derogatory comments we often read here on TV about Western women into context.

Edited July 16, 2010 by GuestHouse

[TAWP]

Sorry to have the break it to you buddy, but yes, she was/is a prostitute, NO thai lady would sleep with a guy on the first night,

Maybe they would not sleep with YOU on the first night...

Let me tell you it this way: I have a friend that during 2009 separated out from his wife and went out a lot. Decent looking, cleanly dressed and polite. Via social network sites (Facebook etc) he both asked and was asked a lot. During only that year he went out with over 30 women and his 'success-rate' with them was in the 100% mark. But then again, he never went out with the intent purpose of sleeping with them, it grew organically throughout the night and often initiated by the women. And money never exchanged hands.

[Ulysses G.]

As far as I am concerned, prostitutes are the ones that get paid for half hour flings and such, or massage girls.

Not the girls that get a boyfriend for an extended period of time and receive the benefits that a boyfriend typically bares.

How about all the hookers who graduate to professional girlfriends when they start to age a little? As soon as one goes home, they have new one and they receive money too.

[bonobo]

One issue is sometimes that many men don't know that their wifes/gf's were part-timers.

I attended a Marine Corps birthday ball in North Carolina once.  There was a young Marine there with his new Filipina wife.  He was so happy and proud.  He could be heard telling others that he was introduced to her through another Filipina who had married a Marine, and that she had been a student or shopgirl or something (I don't remember now) back in the PI.

The thing is, two Marines in my unit had bar-fined her in Olongapo.  I could hear them discussing it arguing if it was her, and one actually started going over, and only her fearful look and pleading head shake made him turn back.  So i am sure they were correct.  And as far as I know, they never told the happy husband.

And if he was happy, then who cares what she was in the past?