The Funny Things She Says

[bifftastic]

Hey. When my husband kandahar tries to talk Thai he says funny things too. Not only me!

Every day, he talk to the neighbor dog. But the dog cannot know English. So, he ask me how to say Thai to the dog! Now he knows non long. That means lay down. And the dog does if kd say in Thai but not in English. That is funny. Now kd wants to learn Thai so he can talk to the dog but not to the people.

woraphat

Hi woraphat, nice to see you posting here too

I'd like to see kd talking Thai to dogs This thread would be a good place to put our funny Thai attempts too!

My girlfriend in Chiang Saen has a cat, and she talks to him all the time. Now I don't have one in the UK but my neighbour does and he likes to get food from both houses (the cat not the neighbour!), he gave me some funny looks when he heard me talking Thai to his cat the other day! "ai meow, tam arai? hiw khao mai? hmm? bpai baan bpai gin khao bpai!" now he thinks I'm very strange! I have to wonder too, why I feel the need to talk Thai to a cat! It's not even a Siamese!

[jubby]

I don't know how to follow from Biff Talking Thai to Cats in the UK, but I'll try

I think this will loosely fit in this thread.

We recently took some barbed wire down and have about 100 concrete posts doing nothing. I was thinking of removing them but it just seems like too much like hard work.

I had a brainwave this morning. Why not plant some Dragon Fruit. They grow up posts don't they . Spoke to the wife, and asked her if she new the name of dragon fruit in Thai. ofcourse she does. Why do I always ask stupid Questions. OK, Your sure now Darling

Ok, off to the local Plant Nursery, We always take the Kids (luckily) because the Thai Lady who runs the place likes the Kids and always gives us just that bit more attention and the Kids usually get some Goodies.

Anyway, we order the plants, have a chat and then as we are about to leave the lady gives the Kids some Dragon fruit.

Ahh. Success me thinks !?

... Anyway, Its the purple flesh variety and I remark how much sweeter it seems. Have we ordered the white one or the Purple one I enquire.

The wife looks at me puzzled and says you want some of these ? Yeah, teelak , I want Dragon Fruit Dear.

Oh, she says, we've ordered 60 passion Fruit. Whats the difference between Dragon & passion says the wife whos spent perhaps 10-15 years in the UK, and even studied English in College There.

What can I say, Bloody lucky we had the Kids along innit

[harrry]

Reminds me of the time in Turkey when my then 11 year old Thai daughter who was pround of her ability to speak Turkish and thought my language ability was no good shoved me out of the way and instead of asking for carrots in the market asked for those orange things that rabbits eat instead of asking for havuc....she was quite upset when I caught her out.

[bifftastic]

I don't know how to follow from Biff Talking Thai to Cats in the UK, but I'll try

I think this will loosely fit in this thread.

We recently took some barbed wire down and have about 100 concrete posts doing nothing. I was thinking of removing them but it just seems like too much like hard work.

I had a brainwave this morning. Why not plant some Dragon Fruit. They grow up posts don't they . Spoke to the wife, and asked her if she new the name of dragon fruit in Thai. ofcourse she does. Why do I always ask stupid Questions. OK, Your sure now Darling

Ok, off to the local Plant Nursery, We always take the Kids (luckily) because the Thai Lady who runs the place likes the Kids and always gives us just that bit more attention and the Kids usually get some Goodies.

Anyway, we order the plants, have a chat and then as we are about to leave the lady gives the Kids some Dragon fruit.

Ahh. Success me thinks !?

... Anyway, Its the purple flesh variety and I remark how much sweeter it seems. Have we ordered the white one or the Purple one I enquire.

The wife looks at me puzzled and says you want some of these ? Yeah, teelak , I want Dragon Fruit Dear.

Oh, she says, we've ordered 60 passion Fruit. Whats the difference between Dragon & passion says the wife whos spent perhaps 10-15 years in the UK, and even studied English in College There.

What can I say, Bloody lucky we had the Kids along innit

ok, so according to your wife there's no difference between dragon and passion? sounds like a whole different thread topic!

[jubby]

I don't know how to follow from Biff Talking Thai to Cats in the UK, but I'll try

I think this will loosely fit in this thread.

We recently took some barbed wire down and have about 100 concrete posts doing nothing. I was thinking of removing them but it just seems like too much like hard work.

I had a brainwave this morning. Why not plant some Dragon Fruit. They grow up posts don't they . Spoke to the wife, and asked her if she new the name of dragon fruit in Thai. ofcourse she does. Why do I always ask stupid Questions. OK, Your sure now Darling

Ok, off to the local Plant Nursery, We always take the Kids (luckily) because the Thai Lady who runs the place likes the Kids and always gives us just that bit more attention and the Kids usually get some Goodies.

Anyway, we order the plants, have a chat and then as we are about to leave the lady gives the Kids some Dragon fruit.

Ahh. Success me thinks !?

... Anyway, Its the purple flesh variety and I remark how much sweeter it seems. Have we ordered the white one or the Purple one I enquire.

The wife looks at me puzzled and says you want some of these ? Yeah, teelak , I want Dragon Fruit Dear.

Oh, she says, we've ordered 60 passion Fruit. Whats the difference between Dragon & passion says the wife whos spent perhaps 10-15 years in the UK, and even studied English in College There.

What can I say, Bloody lucky we had the Kids along innit

ok, so according to your wife there's no difference between dragon and passion? sounds like a whole different thread topic!

It would fit in the 'Inlaws' thread seeing as we're related by marriage, but I thought maybe I could put it in here instead

It almost went in the 'Having a Bad day' thread

Edited August 15, 2010 by jubby

[woraphat]

Hey. When my husband kandahar tries to talk Thai he says funny things too. Not only me!

Every day, he talk to the neighbor dog. But the dog cannot know English. So, he ask me how to say Thai to the dog! Now he knows non long. That means lay down. And the dog does if kd say in Thai but not in English. That is funny. Now kd wants to learn Thai so he can talk to the dog but not to the people.

woraphat

Hi woraphat, nice to see you posting here too

I'd like to see kd talking Thai to dogs This thread would be a good place to put our funny Thai attempts too!

My girlfriend in Chiang Saen has a cat, and she talks to him all the time. Now I don't have one in the UK but my neighbour does and he likes to get food from both houses (the cat not the neighbour!), he gave me some funny looks when he heard me talking Thai to his cat the other day! "ai meow, tam arai? hiw khao mai? hmm? bpai baan bpai gin khao bpai!" now he thinks I'm very strange! I have to wonder too, why I feel the need to talk Thai to a cat! It's not even a Siamese!

Hello Biff

Nice to hear from you, my husband told me about you, I hope to see you and your girlfriend in the future too.

Funny to hear about you talk Thai with the cat in the UK. I can hear that . Makes me smile.

My husband does not know any bad words of Thai. He fall off the top of the ladder today. He knows all of the English bad words.

Edited August 16, 2010 by woraphat

[dindong]

Hi woraphat, nice to see you posting here too

My husband does not know any bad words of Thai. He fall off the top of the ladder today. He knows all of the English bad words.

Hi Woraphat, welcome to Thai visa and compliments on your English. Though my wife can speak pretty good English , her written words are not so good.

It would be nice to get your opinion sometimes from a Thai point of view, on the different issues that come up on the forum.

[bifftastic]

Hey. When my husband kandahar tries to talk Thai he says funny things too. Not only me!

Every day, he talk to the neighbor dog. But the dog cannot know English. So, he ask me how to say Thai to the dog! Now he knows non long. That means lay down. And the dog does if kd say in Thai but not in English. That is funny. Now kd wants to learn Thai so he can talk to the dog but not to the people.

woraphat

Hi woraphat, nice to see you posting here too

I'd like to see kd talking Thai to dogs This thread would be a good place to put our funny Thai attempts too!

My girlfriend in Chiang Saen has a cat, and she talks to him all the time. Now I don't have one in the UK but my neighbour does and he likes to get food from both houses (the cat not the neighbour!), he gave me some funny looks when he heard me talking Thai to his cat the other day! "ai meow, tam arai? hiw khao mai? hmm? bpai baan bpai gin khao bpai!" now he thinks I'm very strange! I have to wonder too, why I feel the need to talk Thai to a cat! It's not even a Siamese!

Hello Biff

Nice to hear from you, my husband told me about you, I hope to see you and your girlfriend in the future too.

Funny to hear about you talk Thai with the cat in the UK. I can hear that . Makes me smile.

My husband does not know any bad words of Thai. He fall off the top of the ladder today. He knows all of the English bad words.

Hi there, yes I hope we can meet up too

Sorry to hear your husband fell off a ladder! I think bad words are best said in our own languages, I don't know any bad Thai words either and I think it's better that way.

If I fell off a ladder I think you might hear some new ones!

[woralak]

Complaining toe/finger nails,

My better half;;; I cut foot/hand you

Me ;;; Eh

Her ;;; Yes i cut they complain

Me ;;; You mean my nails

Her ;;;Yes finger not like long they complain

Me ;;; You mean they crack

Her ;;; Yes they kak

Now when she says i cut foot/hand,i smile and say ok teelak,after 5 years being with her im pretty well into her dialog (thankfully).

Edited August 16, 2010 by woralak

[jubby]

Complaining toe/finger nails,

My better half;;; I cut foot/hand you

Me ;;; Eh

Her ;;; Yes i cut they complain

Me ;;; You mean my nails

Her ;;;Yes finger not like long they complain

Me ;;; You mean they crack

Her ;;; Yes they kak

Now when she says i cut foot/hand,i smile and say ok teelak,after 5 years being with her im pretty well into her dialog (thankfully).

Yeah, thats funny Woralak, Does sound like she's going to amputate to the untrained Ear

Yeah, tell me about those complaining toe nails, Are they complaining or pleading for Help

[bifftastic]

Complaining toe/finger nails,

My better half;;; I cut foot/hand you

Me ;;; Eh

Her ;;; Yes i cut they complain

Me ;;; You mean my nails

Her ;;;Yes finger not like long they complain

Me ;;; You mean they crack

Her ;;; Yes they kak

Now when she says i cut foot/hand,i smile and say ok teelak,after 5 years being with her im pretty well into her dialog (thankfully).

You're lucky you get an explanation, i just get "ma ni! ma leow leow" then she grabs my finger-foot

Something else that took a while for us both to get through is answering 'yes' to a negative question.

For instance;

"ok, you don't want to go do you?"

"yes honey"

"huh? you want to go or not?"

"no"

"ok, you don't want to go"

"yes"

(confused farang screwed up face) "are we going or not?"

"oooiee! you ear you not work tammai!!?" (grabs offending ear and speaks directly into it) "mai bpai!!"

I've since discovered the root of this confusion.

In English we answer to the 'question tags' in the sentence, so, agreeing with the 'don't' and answering the question 'do you?' the answer is 'no (I don't want to go)'

my g/f, using the Thai concept, is agreeing that the sentence is correct 'yes' (you're right, I don't want to go)

took a while, we visited quite a few places neither of us wanted to go to too!

This was after we got past the famous 'up to you' syndrome!

[kandahar]

They are cute ladies, aren't they?

And now, a slight change. A German guy was helping me yesterday. We are on separate ladders, he about three meters away from me. He has pretty good English. Both of us are holding our own end of the same piece of steel, getting ready to mark the anchor holes on the wall. He cannot see the line markings from where he is.

I see his end is low. I tell him "Your end up a bit".

He lowers it.

"Up, up". He lowers it some more.

"NO, the other 'up' ". Down it goes some more.

"Okay. Stop for a minute". My finger points upwards. "This is up".

Him- "Oh, yes! Sorry. In Germany, when we use a lift (elevator), the word for down is up."

So, it isn't only Thai and English. I get to have trouble in all kinds of languages.

[bifftastic]

They are cute ladies, aren't they?

And now, a slight change. A German guy was helping me yesterday. We are on separate ladders, he about three meters away from me. He has pretty good English. Both of us are holding our own end of the same piece of steel, getting ready to mark the anchor holes on the wall. He cannot see the line markings from where he is.

I see his end is low. I tell him "Your end up a bit".

He lowers it.

"Up, up". He lowers it some more.

"NO, the other 'up' ". Down it goes some more.

"Okay. Stop for a minute". My finger points upwards. "This is up".

Him- "Oh, yes! Sorry. In Germany, when we use a lift (elevator), the word for down is up."

So, it isn't only Thai and English. I get to have trouble in all kinds of languages.

is that why you fell off?

[kandahar]

Nah, we had already moved to another piece of steel and another wall. Uneven concrete and my own "dumbpidity" caused me to fall. But I bounce pretty good for a 52 year old!

[harrry]

Nah, we had already moved to another piece of steel and another wall. Uneven concrete and my own "dumbpidity" caused me to fall. But I bounce pretty good for a 52 year old!

You may have to learn a few bad words from your German friend. It sounds as if worophat has learnt all the english ones from you now

[woralak]

Er in doors really cracks me up.

Today we had bocon/egg butties,iv'e shown her many times,today i said you make Darlin,ok no ploblem (great i can watch the tennis),15 mins passes,teelak you put bacon first or egg,never mind i say,(i usually put the bacon first),then egg on top then brown sauce,ok so im sat there watching the tennis dribbling at the thought of my bacon and egg buttie,ok leddy she says,comes in with a tray im waiting in anticipation,on the plate is 0ne slice of brown bread with egg on and one slice of bread with bacon on folded into sandwiches,hey ho you cant win,i smiled and OOOHHH alloy mac mac.

[jubby]

Er in doors really cracks me up.

Today we had bocon/egg butties,iv'e shown her many times,today i said you make Darlin,ok no ploblem (great i can watch the tennis),15 mins passes,teelak you put bacon first or egg,never mind i say,(i usually put the bacon first),then egg on top then brown sauce,ok so im sat there watching the tennis dribbling at the thought of my bacon and egg buttie,ok leddy she says,comes in with a tray im waiting in anticipation,on the plate is 0ne slice of brown bread with egg on and one slice of bread with bacon on folded into sandwiches,hey ho you cant win,i smiled and OOOHHH alloy mac mac.

Yeah, She cracks me up too Woralak, having met her, I can just picture the scene in my head . brilliant.

She's just eager to please I guess.

I bet you just slapped the two together and wolfed it down. Man, I'm hungry,

the up & down thing with the germans I didnt know about. I think they do something similar with left and right, but that could be just the Germans I've met.

Edited August 17, 2010 by jubby

[woralak]

Er in doors really cracks me up.

Today we had bocon/egg butties,iv'e shown her many times,today i said you make Darlin,ok no ploblem (great i can watch the tennis),15 mins passes,teelak you put bacon first or egg,never mind i say,(i usually put the bacon first),then egg on top then brown sauce,ok so im sat there watching the tennis dribbling at the thought of my bacon and egg buttie,ok leddy she says,comes in with a tray im waiting in anticipation,on the plate is 0ne slice of brown bread with egg on and one slice of bread with bacon on folded into sandwiches,hey ho you cant win,i smiled and OOOHHH alloy mac mac.

Yeah, She cracks me up too Woralak, having met her, I can just picture the scene in my head . brilliant.

She's just eager to please I guess.

I bet you just slapped the two together and wolfed it down. Man, I'm hungry,

the up & down thing with the germans I didnt know about. I think they do something similar with left and right, but that could be just the Germans I've met.

Yeah Jubbs dead right both together and down they went,SMASHIN.

[woraphat]

Hi woraphat, nice to see you posting here too

My husband does not know any bad words of Thai. He fall off the top of the ladder today. He knows all of the English bad words.

Hi Woraphat, welcome to Thai visa and compliments on your English. Though my wife can speak pretty good English , her written words are not so good.

It would be nice to get your opinion sometimes from a Thai point of view, on the different issues that come up on the forum.

Hello Dindong

We meet you and your wife at the front of Pam's house. You were on the bikes. Do you remember me?

My English is Ok, some time I have to asked Kd about words. He help me some.

I just be the visitor on the forum, do not want to comment too much about Thai on here. It is the forum for the foreign. I like to read about this forum, It funny some time.

I know about the lady forum on TV. But I do not know those lady. I do know some of the people on the CR forum. So that why I like this forum.

[bifftastic]

the up & down thing with the germans I didnt know about. I think they do something similar with left and right, but that could be just the Germans I've met.

I reckon the German is winding him up about the lift thing. Up is 'ab' down is 'unter' and the Germans you know are maybe just the wrong way round? Left is 'links' right is 'rechts'

[kandahar]

The wife shared this story with me today.

Years ago, one of her friends left the nest and headed off to Pattaya to become a housewife. The girl had grown up here in CR and a lot of things in the big, new world were unknown to her.

She took to riding a bicycle around the neighborhood in her new hometown for sightseeing and shopping. One day, she saw some people making a movie. She had never seen anyone making a movie before but she had seen the Thai movies on television. Curious, she rode up and down, back and forth, watching the camera man and a few others who were there. She couldn't see any of the stars. She couldn't see any of the actors. But she persisted and kept riding up and down, back and forth, waiting for evidence of who was in the movie and what it may be about. She knew this would be big news back home in CR when she was able to tell the story.

After a long time, she decided to just ask the question and then she would know the answer. She asked the camera man what movie they were making. His reply: "We're not making a movie. This is not a movie camera. We are trying to survey here for a new road. Would you please take that bicycle and go somewhere else so I can see my guy at the other end?

[Big Gary]

Before I first took my now wife to Aussie (25 years ago) I told her about all the Aussie animals and what she is expected to see. Her english was next to zero at that time. Anyway on our trip up north from Perth to my worksite in outback Mt Magnet a Kangaroo jumped across the road in front of my car and my darling said "Look a Crocodile". I had to stop the car as I was laughing so much. She couldnt work out why until I told her.

About 2 weeks later I was at work in the mess kitchen cooking breakfast for the workers and my darling run into the dining room and said "Outside there,s a big, a big, a big,(she couldnt remember the name)a big Chicken. We all went outside and there in the carpark was a Big EMU not a big Chicken. That was the talk of the town for quite a while.

There are many more which I will tell you at a later date.

[Ricardo]

We'll never forget, when my teerak (later to become Mrs Ricardo) proudly announced to all and sundry that she was going on a trip "to the United Condom".

Edited October 18, 2010 by Ricardo

[taffyjack]

I remember about 20years ago just after we got married in Thoeng. The wife was eager to please me, and asked what I would like to eat ? Now in them day english food was hard to come by, and I had been living on sticky rice and hot sauce with raw veg (as a side salad). But I had spotted cocktail sausages in a vacuum pack in the local market, so I said I'd love some sausage & french fries (she didn't under stand chips in them days). Nor did she understand sausage, the harder I tried to explain the more confused we both got. I said pig, she said moo, I said no not cow, pig. I started to grunt (like a pig) she said yes moo, I said no moo moo, honk honk P-I-G. After what seemed an eternity she led me outside and to her next door neighbours house, around the back she pointed and said moo. I followed her finger and low and behold a pig, I thought to my self then, I'm going to have trouble with this Thai lingo ??? Thankfully 20years on my wife speaks english but amusingly with a Welsh accent, and I know moo = pig.

[sceadugenga]

It must have been a disappointment to find out meow didn't mean dog....

[taffyjack]

Don't tell me there's another one I've got to get my head around ?

[bifftastic]

and that naam prik didn't quite mean what you thought it did

[sunholidaysun1]

I was watching Animal planet with a Thai lady friend in the week, the documentary was about King Penguins. My friend asked me , " what do you call them " I said , Penguins, Oh she said ,nearly the same ,we call them Pinkwins ,hahahahha. She then said , not all animals we call the same, you call Zebra - Zebra, we call them Giraffe , I nearly died laughing so much .

[ginooooo]

My wife can not remember "headlight". When 1 light on a vehicle does not work, she says 1 eye broke.

[jubby]

I was watching Animal planet with a Thai lady friend in the week, the documentary was about King Penguins. My friend asked me , " what do you call them " I said , Penguins, Oh she said ,nearly the same ,we call them Pinkwins ,hahahahha. She then said , not all animals we call the same, you call Zebra - Zebra, we call them Giraffe , I nearly died laughing so much .

Giraffe !? .... I'm dying laughing now ........... Hope its not true