Marrying A Thai Woman

[tropo]

I married a very bad one, 3 weeks after meeting her, 9 months now and we both seem very happy with our arrangement.

She didn't speak English and we had a translator arrange the details of the contract (which is initially for 5 years).

She previously had little or no contact with white men.

Now I've heard it all. You married a girl who doesn't speak a word of English after 3 weeks.

You should have spent some time in Pattaya doing girls who "do white guys" to gain some experience first. At least they speak English.

But I can, read, write and speak some Thai (although not enough to be confident arranging contracts by myself)

I've actually entered into a very traditional Thai arranged marriage, still fairly common.

It will either work or it won't, same as all marriages across the world.

I prefer to play it safe rather than gamble. I didn't marry my girl until we'd lived together for over 6 years, and she speaks pretty good English.

[mark45y]

It may surprise you to know that I have degrees in both Sociology and Anthropology. I also have done my share of field studies in the area of cultural anthropology......

I am telling you the truth and you don't believe it. That is certainly your prerogative.

It surprises me. You spend far too much time telling us how educated and experienced you are and no time at all giving us anything other than wild opinions and then telling us "it's the truth" and "believe me".

That's not the way an educated man with two degrees would try to convince anyone.

Actually I am trying to stay on topic and I don’t think Pattaya’s nightlife is the topic nor do I think the number of whores in Thailand is the topic - only tangentially.

Plus I don’t think we have much common ground. I don’t think you live in Thailand full time and certainly not Pattaya. Your experience sounds more like a week long punter. Nothing wrong with that but we won't have the same level of experience and I certainly don't want to try and convince you of anything or try to educate you. I gave you the information. You can take it or leave no sweat off my nose either way.

If you do live in Pattaya with blinders on, we certainly don’t go to the same places. I don’t go to pubs or beer bars that Farangs go to. I only go to Thai places. And since you don’t even know they exist I doubt if we would run into one another. Not that I am suggesting you go to a Thai place. I don't think your ready yet.

[tropo]

It may surprise you to know that I have degrees in both Sociology and Anthropology. I also have done my share of field studies in the area of cultural anthropology......

I am telling you the truth and you don't believe it. That is certainly your prerogative.

It surprises me. You spend far too much time telling us how educated and experienced you are and no time at all giving us anything other than wild opinions and then telling us "it's the truth" and "believe me".

That's not the way an educated man with two degrees would try to convince anyone.

Actually I am trying to stay on topic and I don't think Pattaya's nightlife is the topic nor do I think the number of whores in Thailand is the topic - only tangentially.

Plus I don't think we have much common ground. I don't think you live in Thailand full time and certainly not Pattaya. Your experience sounds more like a week long punter. Nothing wrong with that but we won't have the same level of experience and I certainly don't want to try and convince you of anything or try to educate you. I gave you the information. You can take it or leave no sweat off my nose either way.

If you do live in Pattaya with blinders on, we certainly don't go to the same places. I don't go to pubs or beer bars that Farangs go to. I only go to Thai places. And since you don't even know they exist I doubt if we would run into one another. Not that I am suggesting you go to a Thai place. I don't think your ready yet.

You're definitely not the type I'd like to run into - a pseudo intellectual know-it-all. Absolutely no common ground whatsoever.

(I've lived in Pattaya full time for nearly 5 years)

[mark45y]

It may surprise you to know that I have degrees in both Sociology and Anthropology. I also have done my share of field studies in the area of cultural anthropology......

I am telling you the truth and you don't believe it. That is certainly your prerogative.

It surprises me. You spend far too much time telling us how educated and experienced you are and no time at all giving us anything other than wild opinions and then telling us "it's the truth" and "believe me".

That's not the way an educated man with two degrees would try to convince anyone.

Actually I am trying to stay on topic and I don't think Pattaya's nightlife is the topic nor do I think the number of whores in Thailand is the topic - only tangentially.

Plus I don't think we have much common ground. I don't think you live in Thailand full time and certainly not Pattaya. Your experience sounds more like a week long punter. Nothing wrong with that but we won't have the same level of experience and I certainly don't want to try and convince you of anything or try to educate you. I gave you the information. You can take it or leave no sweat off my nose either way.

If you do live in Pattaya with blinders on, we certainly don't go to the same places. I don't go to pubs or beer bars that Farangs go to. I only go to Thai places. And since you don't even know they exist I doubt if we would run into one another. Not that I am suggesting you go to a Thai place. I don't think your ready yet.

You're definitely not the type I'd like to run into - a pseudo intellectual know-it-all. Absolutely no common ground whatsoever.

(I've lived in Pattaya full time for nearly 5 years)

You forgot arrogant and opinionated. Arrogant and opinionated pseudo intellectual know-it-all.

Full time! Not 3 months offshore and 3 on?

Well I do get surprised all the time.

[tropo]

Full time! Not 3 months offshore and 3 on?

Well I do get surprised all the time.

As was I when you said you live in Pattaya full time. It's quite hard to believe.

[Jimi007]

I have said the same as you in many posts; there are good and bad people from everywhere in the world! One needs to weed their garden, for the good plants to grow. If you associate with good people, then your life is usually better. It certainly doesn't matter how much money someone has, it has much more to do with them having a good heart and mind!

I always find the good people extraordinarily dull, especially in the bedroom, the bad people are much more fun!

Hum, to each his or her own. I find bad ones a bit scary, and not very loving... But I guess they can be fun for a "short time!" If that happens to be your thing. But I thought this thread was titled: "Marrying a Thai Woman." Or was it; "my one night stand with a wild thing?"

I married a very bad one, 3 weeks after meeting her, 9 months now and we both seem very happy with our arrangement.

She didn't speak English and we had a translator arrange the details of the contract (which is initially for 5 years).

She previously had little or no contact with white men.

Maybe I'm not understanding you. You have a marriage contract for five years? And you married her after knowing her for three months? You've been married for nine months now? Is that what I am reading? Or am I missing something?

I'm still not married after over a year and a half together with the first woman I get along with so well (believe me, I've been through a lot of relationships). I have been blessed by GF's family monk after a lengthy ceremony to see if we are compatible. I forgot the name of it, but there is water involved. I can't read or write Thai but I can speak it a bit. My GF can read and write some English, but she couldn't speak it very well. I've taught her and even English teachers we meet ask where she learned to speak English. She says; from me. But she did graduate from a university in BKK, and worked at IBM....

Best wishes, Jimi

[Moonrakers]

Maybe I'm not understanding you. You have a marriage contract for five years?

Who said that romance was dead, eh!

[Thakkar]

I married a very bad one, 3 weeks after meeting her, 9 months now and we both seem very happy with our arrangement.

She didn't speak English and we had a translator arrange the details of the contract (which is initially for 5 years).

She previously had little or no contact with white men.

Now I've heard it all. You married a girl who doesn't speak a word of English after 3 weeks.

You should have spent some time in Pattaya doing girls who "do white guys" to gain some experience first. At least they speak English.

But I can, read, write and speak some Thai (although not enough to be confident arranging contracts by myself)

I've actually entered into a very traditional Thai arranged marriage, still fairly common.

It will either work or it won't, same as all marriages across the world.

I wouldn't call what you describe as a marriage, traditional or otherwise. More of a set-period business arrangement, up for renewal and re-negotiation 5 years hence. Kudos for covering your bases. If more foreigners did the same, TV forums would be much the poorer.

[Thakkar]

I think it all depends on when and why you came to Thailand.

I came to Thailand when I was 35 Years old and have been here ever since, it'll be 20 years in December.

So I guess that at 55 Yrs old now and 20 years in Thailand already, I've spent quite a portion of my life here.

I have been in the UK for a total of 3 months in 20 years, so to me Thailand is home, its not some playground to go to to exploit poor people.

I see the wrong, the bad, just as I did in the UK, but I refuse to dam_n the whole Thai population because of the actions of a few.

It would like me stating that all Thai people are hard working, honest , friendly, trustworthy because of a personal experience with hard working, honest, friendly and trustworthy Thai people.

It would be foolish of me to say that all Thai people were that way.

I have been shown extreme kindness by Thai people who really had nothing much to offer, but what they did have was mine too. I also know that not all Thai people are that way.

Is it any different to anywhere else in the World ?

As I have mentioned in other threads, the only people ever to rip me off in Thailand have been Farangs, does that mean all Farangs in Thailand are bad ?

No, of course it doesn't, and its the same with Thai people.

There's good and bad in everyone, including us.

Sillyman,

<deleted>, I detect no sillyness in that post of yours.

[tropo]

I think it all depends on when and why you came to Thailand.

I came to Thailand when I was 35 Years old and have been here ever since, it'll be 20 years in December.

So I guess that at 55 Yrs old now and 20 years in Thailand already, I've spent quite a portion of my life here.

I have been in the UK for a total of 3 months in 20 years, so to me Thailand is home, its not some playground to go to to exploit poor people.

I see the wrong, the bad, just as I did in the UK, but I refuse to dam_n the whole Thai population because of the actions of a few.

It would like me stating that all Thai people are hard working, honest , friendly, trustworthy because of a personal experience with hard working, honest, friendly and trustworthy Thai people.

It would be foolish of me to say that all Thai people were that way.

I have been shown extreme kindness by Thai people who really had nothing much to offer, but what they did have was mine too. I also know that not all Thai people are that way.

Is it any different to anywhere else in the World ?

As I have mentioned in other threads, the only people ever to rip me off in Thailand have been Farangs, does that mean all Farangs in Thailand are bad ?

No, of course it doesn't, and its the same with Thai people.

There's good and bad in everyone, including us.

Sillyman,

<deleted>, I detect no sillyness in that post of yours.

Except the part where he say he's never been ripped off by a Thai (only Farang)...in 20 years!

[Mossfinn]

Why is it silly Tropo, he either has been ripped off or he hasn't, at this stage and with the information that is known to us at this time, we either believe him or we don't.

A matter of opinion, not conjecture on how silly his post is.

[tropo]

Why is it silly Tropo, he either has been ripped off or he hasn't, at this stage and with the information that is known to us at this time, we either believe him or we don't.

A matter of opinion, not conjecture on how silly his post is.

Up to you if you want to believe such a "silly" comment.

[Mossfinn]

I said it was a matter of opinion, not that I agreed with it, so my statement remains, why is it silly? You only have the information at hand to make an opinion, to call it silly with no concrete evidence to back it up, is just, silly.

[bermondburi]

I guess it depends on what you are used to but if you say that" THEY'RE ALL LOOKING LIKE STUNNERS " I would have to say get down to Specsavers !

IMMEDIATELY !!!

Maybe I am in the minority but overweight, often over the hill women with stretch marks and tattoos just doesn't do it for me. But then again I'm not a dedicated follower of fashion like yourself ..........

I reckon you need the specs as you have trouble with your reading.

I'm not a dedicated follower of fashion, my wife is.

Who are you to decide who is attractive and who is not? You are very narrow minded - tattoos can be extremely attractive to many. You're also implying that all women in Pattaya are overweight and over the hill with stretch marks and tattoos. Perhaps it's not specs you need. Perhaps a trip to Pattaya may be in order because your comment indicates you've never been there.

Hang on a minute. A while back they were all stunners, what happened to that. I am me to decide who is attractive and who is not and whilst admittedly there may be some attractive women in Pattaya I'm pretty sure that a quick spin around some beer bars which far outnumber GG bars will show that the vast majority of women in these places are pretty ugly and no amount of make up is going to make them a stunner like you think. Perhaps Sillyman can give his verdict seeing as he's lived there for twenty years. I wait to stand corrected.

[bermondburi]

Thats a very good way to put it. If you have kids here, you DO have shares. And like all share holders know, you'll be invited to the rubber chicken dinners and the AGM but expected to keep your house in order and your mouth shut.

Not knocking it at all. I used to feel as a teacher with no HIT (Hoe-in-tow) people saw me more as part of the 'do gooder" fabric. But the interesting point you make is this.

Are Thai's more accepting if you appear to be "Mr Long-Time" than "Mr Short time"?

I think its a question worth asking as Sooooo many thais on meeting me ask how long I've been here and how long I am staying. When I have mentioned going home recently I find even the most sweet natured people have thrown out the " You don't love Thailand anymore" card... which aside from being pathetic, is a strong indicator that seeing things in black and white (absolute terms) is not uncommon here.

I definitely think that people are more accepting of you if you have children here as that is an indication of having been here for along time and also probably being here for a while longer , and putting down roots in an adopted country,although I don't know how this would apply to people without children and it might depend on where you lived as well. Are you in a tourist place where people come and go all the time or a village where you are the only ferrang and have been for years and probably getting invited to every social function.

I also think that acceptance is strongly related to your Thai language ability. Thais tend to think that it is impossible for a foreigner to learn Thai and when you can demonstrate that you have actually learned it and to good level of fluency this obviously plays a big part in things because you can talk to anyone about anything. And also the fact is that when you have children people are always wanting to talk to you as well so you meet a lot of people that you wouldn't otherwise have met.

Interesting point you make about the "you don't love Thailand anymore" card. When I am talking to people and they find out how long I have been here they always say " ah you love Thailand ". But I don't love Thailand. I think it's okay, I'm happy here and I have a good life here but I don't love Thailand and I tell them this normally saying something like " u choi choi ", for my job and family. People never finding this strange the implication ( in my eyes ) being that you have been here long enough to recognise all the unsaid things that are wrong with the country ,because at the end of the day life for a lot of people is a hard struggle and to Thailand isn't that great for them.

You don't really here Thai people going roung all day long saying how much thay love Thailand so why would a foreigner do it.

My last point, but quite funny what you said about being invited to the AGMs. I remember when I lived in the middle of nowhere in Isaan getting invited to everything, weddings funerals etc because people felt like they had to invite me so I would feel at home there. Any Morlam concert there were always people wanting to take me. Good times.

I think at the end of the day if you want to fit in here; learn the language, pretty obvious but so true, do thing the Thai way whatever you might think, and stop COMPLAINING all the time !

Edited September 21, 2010 by bonobo

[mark45y]

Full time! Not 3 months offshore and 3 on?

Well I do get surprised all the time.

As was I when you said you live in Pattaya full time. It's quite hard to believe.

I do appreciate the fact that neither one of us has called the other a liar. Hard to believe yes but not a liar and that is a gentlemanly way to discuss things.

To be completely honest I moved from Pattaya after living there for almost three years to a smaller town on the East coast where I now live, because of work responsibilities.

When I lived in Pattaya I lived on a small Soi behind the twice weekly market off of Soi Bukhow. I lived in a three bedroom house between Soi Bukhow and South Pattaya road.

If I walked two blocks in one direction I would be on 3rd road and the other way on South Pattaya road. It is not the sleaziest part of Pattaya but it is close. Mostly a Thai neighborhood but a few Falangs and the Russian mob guys.

I rented the place from a Scottish man who tells me the neighbors still tell stories about me, the crazy Falang and the gaggle of go go girls who lived in the house. The rent was expensive for one person but in theory the go go girls were supposed to be paying me rent something which rarely occurred. There were thieves and killers and drug pushers in the neighborhood but they never bothered me. I think they were afraid of the girls as they were not the timid kind of go go girls, most being older, experienced and capable of killing men in a variety of interesting and unusual ways.

Where ever I go or do I will always look back fondly on my experiences with the ladies of the night. I bailed them out of jail, cared for their heartbreaks, patched them up at the hospital and became something of a legend at Pattaya memorial and the cop shop. I even got a ride home late one night in a paddy wagon because I couldn’t find a motorcycle taxi.

[GM1955]

You're a legend in Pattaya ?

Tell me who you are, if you're a legend, I'll know you for sure.

[sillyman99]

Why is it silly Tropo, he either has been ripped off or he hasn't, at this stage and with the information that is known to us at this time, we either believe him or we don't.

A matter of opinion, not conjecture on how silly his post is.

Up to you if you want to believe such a "silly" comment.

So basically you're calling me a liar on an anonymous internet forum, wow, how brave of you.

The fact is that no Thais have ripped me off in Thailand, but I have lent money to so called Farang friends and have never seen them or my money again.

Was my own fault, I dropped my guard thinking that it was only Thais that ripped Farangs off, costly lesson learnt.

[Loz]

Sillyman doesn't seem so silly of late. makes a lot of sense actually. I do think there is a book in his 20 years of life in Pattaya though. Must have seen some things

[tropo]

So basically you're calling me a liar on an anonymous internet forum, wow, how brave of you.

Yes. If I was talking with you in person I'd respond similarly.

[sillyman99]

So basically you're calling me a liar on an anonymous internet forum, wow, how brave of you.

Yes. If I was talking with you in person I'd respond similarly.

[nocturn]

Where ever I go or do I will always look back fondly on my experiences with the ladies of the night. I bailed them out of jail, cared for their heartbreaks, patched them up at the hospital and became something of a legend at Pattaya memorial and the cop shop. I even got a ride home late one night in a paddy wagon because I couldn't find a motorcycle taxi.

and perhaps in your own mind.

while i can respect that you may well have lived an interesting life, i find your almost desperate need to share the details somewhat off-putting if not entertaining .

i have always had great respect for people who just get on with their lives without anything to prove.

Edited September 21, 2010 by nocturn

[mark45y]

Where ever I go or do I will always look back fondly on my experiences with the ladies of the night. I bailed them out of jail, cared for their heartbreaks, patched them up at the hospital and became something of a legend at Pattaya memorial and the cop shop. I even got a ride home late one night in a paddy wagon because I couldn't find a motorcycle taxi.

and perhaps in your own mind.

while i can respect that you may well have lived an interesting life, i find your almost desperate need to share the details somewhat off-putting if not entertaining .

i have always had great respect for people who just get on with their lives without anything to prove.

Sorry it is an occupational hazard. I have been writing both professionally and for my own amusement in and about Asia since 1968. I would love to have a best seller made into a movie so I could complain about people invading my privacy and photographers following me around to snap photos of me in compromising positions on Soi Six.

I think writers are by nature exhibitionists and I am guilty of that. But so to are posters on the internet. If you went quietly about your life I would not know how you feel about my writing. So from one exhibitionist to another, thanks for the comments. Any publicity is good publicity.

[tropo]

So basically you're calling me a liar on an anonymous internet forum, wow, how brave of you.

Yes. If I was talking with you in person I'd respond similarly.

Now you're calling me a liar.

[mark45y]

So basically you're calling me a liar on an anonymous internet forum, wow, how brave of you.

Yes. If I was talking with you in person I'd respond similarly.

Now you're calling me a liar.

Obviously time to do the honorable thing and settle this like men. Meet at dawn in front of Soi Six. The wronged party gets the choice of weapons. So Sillyman has his choice (I think). Gee I wonder what is available around Soi Six at that time in the morning?

How about lady boys at 12 paces?

[sarahsbloke]

Obviously time to do the honorable thing and settle this like men. Meet at dawn in front of Soi Six. The wronged party gets the choice of weapons. So Sillyman has his choice (I think). Gee I wonder what is available around Soi Six at that time in the morning?

How about lady boys at 12 paces?

Weapons should be a ladyboys high heeled shoe each, winner to take ladyboy home, loser to pay ladyboy!

[mark45y]

Obviously time to do the honorable thing and settle this like men. Meet at dawn in front of Soi Six. The wronged party gets the choice of weapons. So Sillyman has his choice (I think). Gee I wonder what is available around Soi Six at that time in the morning?

How about lady boys at 12 paces?

Weapons should be a ladyboys high heeled shoe each, winner to take ladyboy home, loser to pay ladyboy!

No disrespect intended but somehow I don’t think Tropo is into lady boys. Methinks he is a bit vanilla.

[nikkoid66]

I always find the good people extraordinarily dull, especially in the bedroom, the bad people are much more fun!

Some people are good in their life but really fun/bad in the bedroom... :jap:

[tropo]

No disrespect intended but somehow I don't think Tropo is into lady boys. Methinks he is a bit vanilla.

Those sociology and anthropology degrees serve you well. I'm married and quite bored/ing in the bedroom.

When I was single I hadn't even heard of Internet forums - didn't have the time.

Edited September 21, 2010 by tropo

[bangkokcitylimits]

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