Friends & In-Laws

[mallyrd]

Of course they love the op he sound like a decent bloke.

I would of tried to refuse the cash but taken it only for the good gesture it was.

Then I would give it back to her over two months or use it to help the family.

I see one poster keeps tabs on family members even in times of grief, i'm happy he is not related to me .

I watch out for family members which includes in-laws and i dont keep tabs.

I fail to understand your statement "I see one poster keeps tabs on family members even in times of grief, i'm (sic) happy he is not related to me"

For your information the THB 10,000 was used to take the whole family out for dinner and drinks, yes there was a bit left over and I bought myself a few pints of Kilkenny.

[ozzieovaseas]

Nice Story OP.

Its good to hear/see some positive thoughts and stories instead of the usual demonising that goes on..

Seems like the OP has struck what could be considered matrimonial gold.

[F1fanatic]

Nice Story OP.

Its good to hear/see some positive thoughts and stories instead of the usual demonising that goes on..

Seems like the OP has struck what could be considered matrimonial gold.

Listening to 'Keane' at the moment and not in the mood to pussy foot around sensitive members who don't want their illusions shattered - SO, I'll repeat my last post :-

"Have to agree - some posters have had the temerity to point out that his 'heartwarming' story is nothing of the sort.

Definitely time to close the topic down once people start pointing out the actual financial statistics of his relationship......He may think the actual money involved is irrelevant - his wife and her family don't....."

Those that want to believe that their wives or girlfriends actually love them will ignore this post - but, hopefully, it will stick in the back of their mind - so at least they're not quite as gullible as the OP.

Edited August 29, 2010 by F1fanatic

[473geo]

Time to put the bottle down and carefully step off the soap box F1.........

[F1fanatic]

Time to put the bottle down and carefully step off the soap box F1.........

You're right - and luckily, the GP coverage is about to start, which will stop my comments! BUT, I'll be back for any more stupid comments....

[mrdeedee]

What's up with the nastiness? Try living on 5K baht a month. For an old woman the money might make the difference been comfort and hardship. 60K a year to make a wife happy. Gosh, that's lavish. Cost of a month's supply of ugly Pattaya hookers for some of you.

My father used to give his mother a cheque every month. Considering the fact that I used to invite myself over for a meal weekly, as did my cousins, that she was available to move in when the folks went on holiday and that she was an important part of all her grandchildrens' lives, I reckon we got the better deal of his doing the right thing. When I was a kid, I had no idea my grandmother, a widower, was poor. She was just the nice old lady that had time for everyone. So, what's the problem with someone putting his money towards something good?

I don't know how some people were brought up, but this is what families do. I believe it's called being decent and having class. I can guarantee that the OP isn't going to die alone in some filthy guesthouse room covered in his feces. His body won't lay there rotting for a couple weeks because no one cares,

ive changed my view here.

why is op giving such a small amount? if he going to give at least be a littlee more jai dee! 5k seems i bit khee nio!

intriguiging................if mil has a husband why do you give anything at all.

My Mother in-law happens to have a husband who is retired from the police force, how much he gives I have no idea.

[ozzieovaseas]

Nice Story OP.

Its good to hear/see some positive thoughts and stories instead of the usual demonising that goes on..

Seems like the OP has struck what could be considered matrimonial gold.

Listening to 'Keane' at the moment and not in the mood to pussy foot around sensitive members who don't want their illusions shattered - SO, I'll repeat my last post :-

"Have to agree - some posters have had the temerity to point out that his 'heartwarming' story is nothing of the sort.

Definitely time to close the topic down once people start pointing out the actual financial statistics of his relationship......He may think the actual money involved is irrelevant - his wife and her family don't....."

Those that want to believe that their wives or girlfriends actually love them will ignore this post - but, hopefully, it will stick in the back of their mind - so at least they're not quite as gullible as the OP.

Not sure why you re-posted your comment in reply to mine.??

my post wasnt meant in sarcasm and i certainly didnt want to take away from the gesture of MIL to OP.

I think its great that he had the guts to post, him surely knowing that all the usual gremlins would show up to knock him down.

Having said that, I could never imagine any of my ex TGF's families doing the same in such a case

The issue of who paid what to who, and how much, isnt really the point of the story. As one poster pointed out, they didnt NEED to give him one baht back in return, they could have easily kept going with the usual arrangement and no-one would have thought anything of it.

As for the posters that claim they never give anything, claim that only saps pay for their wives and they would never do it,ect ect

I can only assume that these are the guys you see alone at carefour food court nibbling on KFC, who live alone in a tiny rundown appartment with no real contact to the real outside world

[surayu]

@Surayu

Ooooooooooooooooh the big bad world........ ..........well I'm alive and I am happy.....now why should I go dwelling on the'bad' things that can happen and ruin my day......

I'll enjoy the good thank you......I enjoyed the positive experience of the OP...........you didn't .......up to you .......be careful crossing that road now..........

Yes 473geo, the world it can be a nasty place, that's for example why some good parents make their children aware of the dangers when they go out, it's not to make them sad, it's a sort of "prevention" and they can still be happy knowing about it, from now on when i cross any roads i will not look if there are cars coming from any sides, because i am sure they all love me and they will stop even if i don't look, why to worry or think about sad things? :jap:

[mallyrd]

Nice Story OP.

Its good to hear/see some positive thoughts and stories instead of the usual demonising that goes on..

Seems like the OP has struck what could be considered matrimonial gold.

Listening to 'Keane' at the moment and not in the mood to pussy foot around sensitive members who don't want their illusions shattered - SO, I'll repeat my last post :-

"Have to agree - some posters have had the temerity to point out that his 'heartwarming' story is nothing of the sort.

Definitely time to close the topic down once people start pointing out the actual financial statistics of his relationship......He may think the actual money involved is irrelevant - his wife and her family don't....."

Those that want to believe that their wives or girlfriends actually love them will ignore this post - but, hopefully, it will stick in the back of their mind - so at least they're not quite as gullible as the OP.

I find that your suggestion of me being "gullible"is offensive particularly as you know nothing about me except for my original post.

Judging by your posts on this topic (and others) I get the feeling that your only pleasure in life is derived from winding people up. It must be a sad life for you and it will be a sad day for you when there is no one to wind up.

Enjoy the race.

[F1fanatic]

Nice Story OP.

Its good to hear/see some positive thoughts and stories instead of the usual demonising that goes on..

Seems like the OP has struck what could be considered matrimonial gold.

Ummm, no. I know nothing about you.

But it would be really great if you could try responding to the points made (which is why I repeated my post) rather than putting me down personally .

Listening to 'Keane' at the moment and not in the mood to pussy foot around sensitive members who don't want their illusions shattered - SO, I'll repeat my last post :-

"Have to agree - some posters have had the temerity to point out that his 'heartwarming' story is nothing of the sort.

Definitely time to close the topic down once people start pointing out the actual financial statistics of his relationship......He may think the actual money involved is irrelevant - his wife and her family don't....."

Those that want to believe that their wives or girlfriends actually love them will ignore this post - but, hopefully, it will stick in the back of their mind - so at least they're not quite as gullible as the OP.

I find that your suggestion of me being "gullible"is offensive particularly as you know nothing about me except for my original post.

Judging by your posts on this topic (and others) I get the feeling that your only pleasure in life is derived from winding people up. It must be a sad life for you and it will be a sad day for you when there is no one to wind up.

Enjoy the race.

[473geo]

@Surayu

Ooooooooooooooooh the big bad world........ ..........well I'm alive and I am happy.....now why should I go dwelling on the'bad' things that can happen and ruin my day......

I'll enjoy the good thank you......I enjoyed the positive experience of the OP...........you didn't .......up to you .......be careful crossing that road now..........

Yes 473geo, the world it can be a nasty place, that's for example why some good parents make their children aware of the dangers when they go out, it's not to make them sad, it's a sort of "prevention" and they can still be happy knowing about it, from now on when i cross any roads i will not look if there are cars coming from any sides, because i am sure they all love me and they will stop even if i don't look, why to worry or think about sad things? :jap:

And what of those who have already crossed the road successfully, who are letting people who doubt it is possible know how it can be done........they are not children Surayu, they are the voice of pleasant experience...........would you heed the warnings and wimperings of he who has not crossed, or the valuable words of the successful man who is proffering his advice from the other side of the road...........perhaps there are many here who take too much notice of the flat man in the middle of the road....

Of course it can be prudent to point out danger in some circumstances, but to do it in order to detract from anothers success, on a forum, is surely driven by jealousy, not the requirement to impart information.

Edited August 29, 2010 by 473geo

[Theoutsider]

Of course they love the op he sound like a decent bloke.

I would of tried to refuse the cash but taken it only for the good gesture it was.

Then I would give it back to her over two months or use it to help the family.

I see one poster keeps tabs on family members even in times of grief, i'm happy he is not related to me .

I watch out for family members which includes in-laws and i dont keep tabs.

I fail to understand your statement "I see one poster keeps tabs on family members even in times of grief, i'm (sic) happy he is not related to me"

For your information the THB 10,000 was used to take the whole family out for dinner and drinks, yes there was a bit left over and I bought myself a few pints of Kilkenny.

That was not aimed at you but someone else who responded to the post, all apologies:jap:.

But like the Murphy’s I’m…..

[F1fanatic]

@Surayu

Ooooooooooooooooh the big bad world........ ..........well I'm alive and I am happy.....now why should I go dwelling on the'bad' things that can happen and ruin my day......

I'll enjoy the good thank you......I enjoyed the positive experience of the OP...........you didn't .......up to you .......be careful crossing that road now..........

Yes 473geo, the world it can be a nasty place, that's for example why some good parents make their children aware of the dangers when they go out, it's not to make them sad, it's a sort of "prevention" and they can still be happy knowing about it, from now on when i cross any roads i will not look if there are cars coming from any sides, because i am sure they all love me and they will stop even if i don't look, why to worry or think about sad things? :jap:

And what of those who have already crossed the road successfully, who are letting people who doubt it is possible know how it can be done........they are not children Surayu, they are the voice of pleasant experience...........would you heed the warnings and wimperings of he who has not crossed, or the valuable words of the successful man who is proffering his advice from the other side of the road...........perhaps there are many here who take too much notice of the flat man in the middle of the road....

Of course it can be prudent to point out danger in some circumstances, but to do it in order to detract from anothers success, on a forum, is surely driven by jealousy, not the requirement to impart information.

One of those things - anyone who believes that some illiterate peasant actually loves them is living in cloud cookoo land. But, if they're happy believing that - good for them.

[ozzieovaseas]

Nice Story OP.

Its good to hear/see some positive thoughts and stories instead of the usual demonising that goes on..

Seems like the OP has struck what could be considered matrimonial gold.

Ummm, no. I know nothing about you.

But it would be really great if you could try responding to the points made (which is why I repeated my post) rather than putting me down personally .

Listening to 'Keane' at the moment and not in the mood to pussy foot around sensitive members who don't want their illusions shattered - SO, I'll repeat my last post :-

"Have to agree - some posters have had the temerity to point out that his 'heartwarming' story is nothing of the sort.

Definitely time to close the topic down once people start pointing out the actual financial statistics of his relationship......He may think the actual money involved is irrelevant - his wife and her family don't....."

Those that want to believe that their wives or girlfriends actually love them will ignore this post - but, hopefully, it will stick in the back of their mind - so at least they're not quite as gullible as the OP.

I find that your suggestion of me being "gullible"is offensive particularly as you know nothing about me except for my original post.

Judging by your posts on this topic (and others) I get the feeling that your only pleasure in life is derived from winding people up. It must be a sad life for you and it will be a sad day for you when there is no one to wind up.

Enjoy the race.

this comment appears to be mine but it isnt,

Not sure why it appeared under my post but i believe it was meant to be a comment from F1 to the OP

[Jangot]

One of those things - anyone who believes that some illiterate peasant actually loves them is living in cloud cookoo land. But, if they're happy believing that - good for them.

I understand from your previous posts that you have been wounded in your marriage:

It has obviously affected your capacity for rational thought.

How insensitive, arrogant and bigoted to suggest that an illiterate peasant is incapable of love and loyalty.

As if being born into poverty is some kind of sin and pre-disposes some kind of malignant personality.

Shame on you.

[473geo]

"And one day...... a man will land on the moon"

Do you doubters remember that ad, which was hilarious because it had already happened........

Well the point being....just because in your world you have not enjoyed the experiences that others have.........doesn't mean those things cannot happen.......you just don't appear to have the ability, talent or experience to carry it off..... is all it means.......

[Beetlejuice]

The story makes no sense

OK the wife's parents gave you 2 months of the monthly amount you'd been giving them for 18 years, without ever feeling the need to give you a 'rebate' previously

I've no doubt this makes them FAR better than the average in-laws, but its not exactly incredibly generous behaviour.

This story is not about credits and rebates. It is exactly people like you that can only find fault with expats or others who happen to have had a good experience living in Thailand. I guess you have been ripped off so may times that you are full of angst.

Quite right. As I pointed out before, your in-laws gave you precisely 2 months of the amount you'd been giving them each month for 18 years .

YOU were the one trying to point this out as something incredibly generous and wonderful - I'm merely pointing out its nothing of the sort. SO, according to you, I must be full of angst and ripped off many times for pointing out the blindingly obvious .

Right on.

Anyone can have a good relationship with the wife`s family if they keep spending the money.

Let me see, 18 years at 5000 baht per month, that`s 1,080,000 baht plus I bet the OP has been collared for other sundry expenses, medical bills and house repairs, the list goes on.

It`s a nice thread with a nice story, but this is nothing unique considering the OP is paying for it.

Why not put the relationship to the test. Stop the money, tell them to stand on their own 2 feet and see if your popularity with the family remains as strong.

Place your bets here please.

[surayu]

And what of those who have already crossed the road successfully, who are letting people who doubt it is possible know how it can be done........they are not children Surayu, they are the voice of pleasant experience...........would you heed the warnings and wimperings of he who has not crossed, or the valuable words of the successful man who is proffering his advice from the other side of the road...........perhaps there are many here who take too much notice of the flat man in the middle of the road....

Of course it can be prudent to point out danger in some circumstances, but to do it in order to detract from anothers success, on a forum, is surely driven by jealousy, not the requirement to impart information.

Well, you are free to join all people that have this kind of bets with their lifes, as you say you might also be succesfull on this, but it will never depends totally from us, there are many factors and no way we can totally control or even know in advance what others will do, the kids that win the illegal street races have the same voice of "pleasant experiences".....i am glad you can see the presence of a "flat man in the middle of the road" because even on this forum i heard voices that vigorously deny the existence of a such figure...There is no intention to detract anything, the OP might be really living the ideal situation he's talking about and surely i will hope this for him and everyone else, as IMO it is in everyone interests to make as good as we can and try to be ourself what we would like others to be, for wise people there are many ways to test if someone is being honest or just taking advantage of a particular situation, but someone don't care if others are taking advantage of theirselfs and they even go to the point to say it openly and stimulating even more people to act in that way against them, an example are those being scammed and rewarding the low lifes with a tip and a smile on top of it, creating what? even more scams for whom is coming next....then you see my post as "jealousy"? so i guess your parents were only trying to detract success from you and being jealous when (i suppose) they were giving you good advises?

[surayu]

And on an additional note, reading back some of the posts, i had like a flash vision of the "philosophy" that transpire from the whole story, basically it would read like "if you want to be happy with your family and friends, you have to pay for their love to you", so if someone doesn't wish to pay or just can't, then don't deserve any love.... let me tell you, that's not the way to go people!!! a human being worth of being described on this way should have a whole lot of other values rather then money-money-money

[473geo]

And what of those who have already crossed the road successfully, who are letting people who doubt it is possible know how it can be done........they are not children Surayu, they are the voice of pleasant experience...........would you heed the warnings and wimperings of he who has not crossed, or the valuable words of the successful man who is proffering his advice from the other side of the road...........perhaps there are many here who take too much notice of the flat man in the middle of the road....

Of course it can be prudent to point out danger in some circumstances, but to do it in order to detract from anothers success, on a forum, is surely driven by jealousy, not the requirement to impart information.

Well, you are free to join all people that have this kind of bets with their lifes, as you say you might also be succesfull on this, but it will never depends totally from us, there are many factors and no way we can totally control or even know in advance what others will do, the kids that win the illegal street races have the same voice of "pleasant experiences".....i am glad you can see the presence of a "flat man in the middle of the road" because even on this forum i heard voices that vigorously deny the existence of a such figure...There is no intention to detract anything, the OP might be really living the ideal situation he's talking about and surely i will hope this for him and everyone else, as IMO it is in everyone interests to make as good as we can and try to be ourself what we would like others to be, for wise people there are many ways to test if someone is being honest or just taking advantage of a particular situation, but someone don't care if others are taking advantage of theirselfs and they even go to the point to say it openly and stimulating even more people to act in that way against them, an example are those being scammed and rewarding the low lifes with a tip and a smile on top of it, creating what? even more scams for whom is coming next....then you see my post as "jealousy"? so i guess your parents were only trying to detract success from you and being jealous when (i suppose) they were giving you good advises?

I apologise, I did not realise you were the father of the Op.......please, with my permission, carry on giving negative advice to your son, which, as he appears to be doing just fine I doubt he will take!!!! And.... in case you missed the whole point of the thread, the Op is actually praising his Thai mother-in-law for her unsolicited display of gratitude for actions which any ordinary family orientated man would happily provide.......How that fits in with "rewarding lowlifes with a tip and a smile on top of it".......well I'll leave that in your over active imagination thanks.

[mallyrd]

This forum seems to have its fair share of;

1. Some nice people,

2. Some not so nice people, and

3. Some outright nutters

Thanks to all of you

Edited August 30, 2010 by mallyrd

[mrdeedee]

And on an additional note, reading back some of the posts, i had like a flash vision of the "philosophy" that transpire from the whole story, basically it would read like "if you want to be happy with your family and friends, you have to pay for their love to you", so if someone doesn't wish to pay or just can't, then don't deserve any love.... let me tell you, that's not the way to go people!!! a human being worth of being described on this way should have a whole lot of other values rather then money-money-money

pal....if you talking the avg issan famillee the farang marries into then money spread about is to key to being loved.

money is the great equalizer in the village. im sure teaching western values like hard work, saving $s,kindess, love a white man for who he is not 4 what he gives just flies over their heads. THE VILLAGE MOTTO IS SHOW ME THE MUNNEY:lol:

if you a village man making 150$ a month and whitey makes 3000$ a month ... you think farang will get respect by just showing kindness?

[mrdeedee]

And on an additional note, reading back some of the posts, i had like a flash vision of the "philosophy" that transpire from the whole story, basically it would read like "if you want to be happy with your family and friends, you have to pay for their love to you", so if someone doesn't wish to pay or just can't, then don't deserve any love.... let me tell you, that's not the way to go people!!! a human being worth of being described on this way should have a whole lot of other values rather then money-money-money

ps you need to realize that these villagers hab no munney. your goodie 2 shoes views r assuming both sides are economiclly somewhat similiar.

[Dakhar]

The story makes no sense

OK the wife's parents gave you 2 months of the monthly amount you'd been giving them for 18 years, without ever feeling the need to give you a 'rebate' previously

I've no doubt this makes them FAR better than the average in-laws, but its not exactly incredibly generous behaviour.

This story is not about credits and rebates. It is exactly people like you that can only find fault with expats or others who happen to have had a good experience living in Thailand. I guess you have been ripped off so may times that you are full of angst.

Did you ask her if she wanted the money "back now, or spread out over the next few months."

Love you indeed.

I'd love you too...

[dumball]

I did not read all of the posts , far too boring a subject , it all boils down to how you personally percieve the treatment and respect you are afforded by the extended family , in many many instances as recorded on these forums it is , in the end , all about monetery gain for the poor family you happened to marry into . It realy has , or should not matter the monetary disparity , they were poor before you and will continue that way as long as you just pour money in and expect little to nothing in return , far better to buy them the means to self sufficiency when they will learn to become proud of their own achievements .

I personaly did not buy or promise to support any-one other than my wife , only when exteranious problems come up do I step in and provide assistance as neccessary , and I decide what that may be as I am supplying the monetary means to alleviate such circumstance . I honor their culture and expect the same in return , this has worked well in the last 5 years .

[mallyrd]

I did not read all of the posts , far too boring a subject , it all boils down to how you personally percieve the treatment and respect you are afforded by the extended family , in many many instances as recorded on these forums it is , in the end , all about monetery gain for the poor family you happened to marry into . It realy has , or should not matter the monetary disparity , they were poor before you and will continue that way as long as you just pour money in and expect little to nothing in return , far better to buy them the means to self sufficiency when they will learn to become proud of their own achievements .

I personaly did not buy or promise to support any-one other than my wife , only when exteranious problems come up do I step in and provide assistance as neccessary , and I decide what that may be as I am supplying the monetary means to alleviate such circumstance . I honor their culture and expect the same in return , this has worked well in the last 5 years .

If the subject is all too boring for you then why did you post?

Had you have bothered to go through the posts you will have seen that the payment to my Mother in-law is in the form of a well deserved pension after having worked for my wife and I as a cook in a bar/restaurant. Mother in-law worked in this position for something like 14 years and we felt she deserved some reward. Also stated in one of my posts I have pointed out that my Mother in-law is married to a retired police officer and how much (or how little) he might give is of no concern and/or interest to me or my wife.

[taninthai]

I did not read all of the posts , far too boring a subject , it all boils down to how you personally percieve the treatment and respect you are afforded by the extended family , in many many instances as recorded on these forums it is , in the end , all about monetery gain for the poor family you happened to marry into . It realy has , or should not matter the monetary disparity , they were poor before you and will continue that way as long as you just pour money in and expect little to nothing in return , far better to buy them the means to self sufficiency when they will learn to become proud of their own achievements .

I personaly did not buy or promise to support any-one other than my wife , only when exteranious problems come up do I step in and provide assistance as neccessary , and I decide what that may be as I am supplying the monetary means to alleviate such circumstance . I honor their culture and expect the same in return , this has worked well in the last 5 years .

If the subject is all too boring for you then why did you post?

Had you have bothered to go through the posts you will have seen that the payment to my Mother in-law is in the form of a well deserved pension after having worked for my wife and I as a cook in a bar/restaurant. Mother in-law worked in this position for something like 14 years and we felt she deserved some reward. Also stated in one of my posts I have pointed out that my Mother in-law is married to a retired police officer and how much (or how little) he might give is of no concern and/or interest to me or my wife.

maalyrd yes its a nice story but nothing to write home about , surely you paid her the 14 years she worked for you that is her reward ,and as for no concern or interest in what other money mil recieves well you may find out she actually has more money than yourself or some ferang in thailand................................

[473geo]

]

maalyrd yes its a nice story but nothing to write home about , surely you paid her the 14 years she worked for you that is her reward ,and as for no concern or interest in what other money mil recieves well you may find out she actually has more money than yourself or some ferang in thailand................................

And if in the 14 years the op and his wife had taken out a pension and paid in on her behalf and she now recd the benefit of 5k a month.....would that be ok in your book.....or should the Op have kept the pension for himself?

Perhaps she has more money than the Op or some ferang in Thailand......so what.......she is apparently happy to share some of her good fortune with her family when appropriate........sounds good to me.... .

[taninthai]

]

maalyrd yes its a nice story but nothing to write home about , surely you paid her the 14 years she worked for you that is her reward ,and as for no concern or interest in what other money mil recieves well you may find out she actually has more money than yourself or some ferang in thailand................................

And if in the 14 years the op and his wife had taken out a pension and paid in on her behalf and she now recd the benefit of 5k a month.....would that be ok in your book.....or should the Op have kept the pension for himself?

Perhaps she has more money than the Op or some ferang in Thailand......so what.......she is apparently happy to share some of her good fortune with her family when appropriate........sounds good to me.... .

completely agree with this statement dont mind helping out when really needed ,but never committing to a monthly payout ,im not surprised thais think all ferang are rich with this happening all over the country...............

[jackr]

Dear me

Just as well George is coining-in on The Adsense what with the cost of all this server space.