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Glitterman Speaks About [J] Glitterman Goes To The Moon For More Moon Cheese

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By glitterman
in Pattaya

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glitterman Senior Member

glitterman

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Thankyou for choosing this Glitterman product. You have made the right choice. Quality is far super seeded by quantity here.

The Almighty and Powerful wizard is back and gives you;

PARABLE 53521817. The Parable of the cheese from the moon again.

...........And so the Golden One having run out of cheese from the moon decided to visit the moon again and get some more moon cheese. "This time i shall inquire about visa requirements". he thought. So the Golden One went to talk to Pattaya Immigration in Jomtien.

"Hello Mr Immigration man, I intend to visit the moon shortly to bring back plenty of cheese. So I have some questions for you". Polightly asked the Golden One. "Must I get a departure stamp in my Passport when leaving Thailand?, Do I need a Visa to enter the moon?, and how much moon cheese can I bring back into Thailand?"

Jets of steam suddenly seemed to emerge from the Immigrations mans ears as he shouted "Cheese? moon? cheese? moon? You klazy fellang why you not go Tops supermarket?, If you no like Thailand why you no go back home your own country? OUT!, OUT!, OUT!" And the Golden One was slung out of the building on to his ass.

"he obviously did not know the answers and did not want to lose face" Thought the Golden One. The Earth, seen from the moon is very clear. But the countries boundary lines are NOT visible. That is because they DO NOT EXCIST. One day the world WILL be as one. Never mind I shall offer this one a gift of my cheese from the moon for HAPPY".

So he picked up his hat and dusted himself off. Then walking calmly back up the Immigration steps, The Golden One stopped, held open the door and shouted out "Kiss my moon cheese ass!" And threw in a home made stink bomb that he made earlier with rotten cheese from the moon. Then quickly ran back down the steps, jumped on to his bicycle, and quickly cycled off at top speed, laughing uncontrollably as he heard coughing behind him, followed by a Police car siren, then gunshots.

.............And so much much much later that same day, the Golden One started to build his spaceship that would take him to the moon for more moon cheese. "I have bought all these colourful balloons from 'Toys R us' in central plaza. But I need hot air to fill them with". Thought the Golden One, "What can I do?...I know......"

........So he rounded up many sinners from a nearby beer bar, sat them down and began preaching to them about alcohol and bar girls, while constantly blowing into the balloons. When he finished the Golden One said "There is nothing quite like the hot air from a preacher, especially if it is me".

Then he attached the 500 balloons to the front and back of his beautiful bicycle which was anchored to a lamp post.

.......It was a marvelous majestic sight on Pattaya beach for the farewell to the Golden Glitterman. A huge crowd had gathered to say goodbye. There was even a uniformed big brass band playing. When the fanfare stopped the Golden One said,

"As you all know I am the Great Golden Glitterman. Superhero of Pattaya. righter of wrongs and wronger of rights. I am going to the moon to bring back lots of cheese for myself and maybe a bit for you too. I have written a poem for you to remember my by while I am gone, its called MY HAT". The Golden One cleared his throat, and in a clear loud voice read out his poem,

"I love my hat,

It is such a beautiful hat,

It has two yellow feathers on my hat,

and it looks good on my head, does my hat"

The Golden one finished reading his poem and looked at the stunned silent crowd. Absolute silence from the crowd continued for another ten seconds. Then the crowd let out a small cheer and waved goodbye, and the big brass band played.

Up up and away he flew, the Golden One sitting on his bicycle was lifted up by the 500 balloons high into the air. Waving goodbye to the crowd he dissapeared far above the crowds and clouds.............But then the Golden One came back down and said,

"I forgot my hat, where is it?' Does anybody know where I left it?"

"Its on yer head mate" said one man.

"Oh yes, silly me". Said an embarressed Golden One and back up into the clouds he flew.........But then he came back down again. The band had by now stopped playing and smiles from the crowd were wearing thin.

"No its NOT on my head" Said the Golden One, "Where is my hat?' Then glancing over to a nearby Beer bar he saw his hat, stuck on the wall being used as a dartboard. So he jumped off his golden bicycle and angrily marched over to the beer bar to retrieve his hat. But on the way there the crowd broke out into a huge roar of laughter. The Golden One slowly turned around to see his bicycle floating away up into a dark raincloud. Only to be struck by lightening, and with balloons exploding come plumeting down straight into the sea with a 'splash! Then the Golden One calmly said,

"I have decided to postpone my trip to the moon for now, you lot obviously need more preaching too". So the Golden One preached for 40 days and 40 nights, occasionally stopping to kiss his face mirror.

Shorly after that the Golden One suddenly remembered he had super hero powers. So he flew to the moon like super man, scooped up loads of moon cheese and returned within the hour.........AMEN

Moral of the parable is; The fun is in getting there.

The Royal Glitterman hath Spoken.

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Edited by Rimmer
Racist text
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soihok Platinum Member

soihok

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He's British royalty, don't you know? Something about a Lord Monty Python, innit.

C_67_article_2035869_body_articleblock_0_bodyimage.jpg?23%2F09%2F2008%2008%3A17%3A42%3A062

he would fit in well with the British ' Raving Loony Party '

I have a friend in the UK who entered into a local government election under the Monster Raving Looney Party.

It was in Chesterfield and at the same time when the English politician "Tony Benn" was in the same local election. So my friend called himself " Bill and Benn".

Unfortunately he received little support and subsequently lost his deposit.

It would seem that Basjke is certainly a grumpy forum member......Bah! Humbug!

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probe Newbie

probe

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Royalty? He must have quit school at an early age to do royal things judging by his writing skills.

What's happened is that once this poor man could ride around Pattaya and all the bar girls would wave and say hello and people would stop and stare. Now he's old hat and almost no one even notices him passing by. He's so desperate for attention that he's now turned his craving to this forum, unfortunately. I know that by responding here I'm only stroking his ego, and that is what he so strongly desires. If everyone would just stop posting replies to his ridiculous ravings he would surely shrivel up and go elsewhere from lack of strokes.

I fear he is an English teacher. :blink:

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smokie36 Star Member

smokie36

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Was that orange sunshine or purple haze runnin thru your brain moon cheese?

One of the most popular brands now in Amsterdam is called....cheese! :blink: So popular in fact they had run out when I asked for some. Maybe he's had the entire world supply flown over to Pattaya? :D

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Beardog Platinum Member

Beardog

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Was that orange sunshine or purple haze runnin thru your brain moon cheese?

One of the most popular brands now in Amsterdam is called....cheese! :blink: So popular in fact they had run out when I asked for some. Maybe he's had the entire world supply flown over to Pattaya? :D

I am familiar with Amsterdam,s special menus & cheese's however I think due to the crispyness of the posting perhaps a severe flashback may have occurred on a permanent basis. :crazy:

Edited by Beardog
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