Need Help With Thailand-Based Novel

[luckizuchinni]

Hi All,

I am a long-time lurker in ThaiVisa, but now that I actually need some assistance, I became a posting member.

I have just completed the first draft of my third novel. It takes place primarily in Thailand, and, to be frank, I can use a little help in the content editing to ensure that both the verisimilitude is acceptable and the facts correct. I figured the membership at ThaiVisa certainly has the expertise in this.

The story follows a young man who essentially runs away to Thailand to get his bearings after being kicked out of military boot camp. He arrives in Bangkok, where he discovers the bar scene, but he also goes to a village, where he is introduced to a different side of the country. Part of that includes meeting a monk and discussing Buddhism.

I really need help in a few areas: the bar scene, Buddhist beliefs, and English-English speaking as opposed to American-English.

As a note, while the intent is not titillation, there are a few frankly described scenes of sex. There are also some in-depth discussions of Buddhist beliefs.

Any help offered would be greatly appreciated. You don't even have to read the entire book. I have broken this down to Bangkok, bars, village, English dialogue (I know,"dialog" in American-English), and Buddhism.

If anyone is interested, PM me with what you want to read and an e-mail address, and I will send you as little or as much as you want to handle.

Thanks!

[mrtoad]

Sure you will find plenty of experts here that can help

Maybe you should drop a PM to the legendary Thai Visa resident Author Andrew Hicks He has rolled out plenty of books with words in.

[mca]

  Quote

verisimilitude

The last person to use that word in connection with Thailand ended up playing " Don't drop the soap "

[coxhoedave]

Just out of interest, what were your first two novels and were they based in Asia.

[IanForbes]

  On 9/30/2010 at 4:40 AM, mrtoad said:

Sure you will find plenty of experts here that can help

Maybe you should drop a PM to the legendary Thai Visa resident Author Andrew Hicks He has rolled out plenty of books with words in.

All mine are picture books.

[meom]

"As a note, while the intent is not titillation, there are a few frankly described scenes of sex."

If the intent is not titillation then what is its intent?

[luckizuchinni]

  On 9/30/2010 at 5:23 AM, coxhoedave said:

Just out of interest, what were your first two novels and were they based in Asia.

The first one is a politico-military thriller which took place primarily in the US and India, with a bit of Thailand in three of the chapters.

The second one is a SciFi based on a Survivor-like reality show. Actually, this was my third, but I finished it before the subject novel, which was my second started. Partway in, I realized that I didn't know enough about Buddhism and even the bar scene to effectively write about them, so I shelved the book for 6 months in order to do some research, and I wrote the SciFi in the interim.

(Yes, I can hear all the cracks about researching the bar scene coming. )

[luckizuchinni]

  On 9/30/2010 at 5:40 AM, meom said:

"As a note, while the intent is not titillation, there are a few frankly described scenes of sex."

If the intent is not titillation then what is its intent?

The intent was to describe what was happening to the protagonist. And a 19-year-old boy, in Bangkok, will most likely gravitate to the bars, and he will probably partake. A pet peeve of mine is when sex scenes either use corny language or ignore what is happening. I have read alot of SciFi in my life, and for most of the Golden Age of Science Fiction, sex was treated like a naughty thing subject to little boy smirking. Although I grew up on Robert Heinlein, he was a major transgressor on this, in my opinion.

I did not want to try and describe what goes on in a bar, then ignore what happened after. On the other hand, I wasn't looking to write a porn novel (I have nothing against porn novels, if anyone wants to read them, but my novel was not about sex, but rather the journey a young man took in finding himself.)

[SweeneyAgonistes]

If I were researching Buddhist beilefs and practices, I don't think I'd ask for help on a forum populated almost exclusively by non-Buddhists. And even those who do post here and who are Buddhists are - not being Thais - unlikely to reflect accurately Thai Buddhism.

[luckizuchinni]

  On 9/30/2010 at 6:57 AM, SweeneyAgonistes said:

If I were researching Buddhist beilefs and practices, I don't think I'd ask for help on a forum populated almost exclusively by non-Buddhists. And even those who do post here and who are Buddhists are - not being Thais - unlikely to reflect accurately Thai Buddhism.

I actually thought of that. But the monk who interacts with the protagonist is a Western-born man. He is compilation of several monks i have met and with whom I have spoken, either in the US or here, both at lectures and at wats.

So a Westerner who understands Buddhism might be a valid source to tell me if what my monk says in the book rings true or not.

[meom]

  On 9/30/2010 at 6:46 AM, luckizuchinni said:

  On 9/30/2010 at 5:40 AM, meom said:

"As a note, while the intent is not titillation, there are a few frankly described scenes of sex."

If the intent is not titillation then what is its intent?

The intent was to describe what was happening to the protagonist. And a 19-year-old boy, in Bangkok, will most likely gravitate to the bars, and he will probably partake. A pet peeve of mine is when sex scenes either use corny language or ignore what is happening. I have read alot of SciFi in my life, and for most of the Golden Age of Science Fiction, sex was treated like a naughty thing subject to little boy smirking. Although I grew up on Robert Heinlein, he was a major transgressor on this, in my opinion.

I did not want to try and describe what goes on in a bar, then ignore what happened after. On the other hand, I wasn't looking to write a porn novel (I have nothing against porn novels, if anyone wants to read them, but my novel was not about sex, but rather the journey a young man took in finding himself.)

Fair enough so good luck with your book.

Regarding the bar scene I guess everybody’s perception and experience will be different so the best way to get a feel for things would be to partake yourself for a couple days/weeks in order to get an idea what it’s all about.

[luckizuchinni]

  On 9/30/2010 at 7:06 AM, meom said:

  On 9/30/2010 at 6:46 AM, luckizuchinni said:

  On 9/30/2010 at 5:40 AM, meom said:

"As a note, while the intent is not titillation, there are a few frankly described scenes of sex."

If the intent is not titillation then what is its intent?

The intent was to describe what was happening to the protagonist. And a 19-year-old boy, in Bangkok, will most likely gravitate to the bars, and he will probably partake. A pet peeve of mine is when sex scenes either use corny language or ignore what is happening. I have read alot of SciFi in my life, and for most of the Golden Age of Science Fiction, sex was treated like a naughty thing subject to little boy smirking. Although I grew up on Robert Heinlein, he was a major transgressor on this, in my opinion.

I did not want to try and describe what goes on in a bar, then ignore what happened after. On the other hand, I wasn't looking to write a porn novel (I have nothing against porn novels, if anyone wants to read them, but my novel was not about sex, but rather the journey a young man took in finding himself.)

Fair enough so good luck with your book.

Regarding the bar scene I guess everybody's perception and experience will be different so the best way to get a feel for things would be to partake yourself for a couple days/weeks in order to get an idea what it's all about.

That is pretty much what I did. But it would still be good to get some feedback.

One character in the bar scenes is a rough, English guy (modeled after a guy I met), but it would be great to get some feedback on him to see if he seems real or too cartoonish.

[anon7867763]

You can PM me ragarding this subject any time.Good luck with the book !

[anon7867763]

I forgot to say that I have an English friend who was a monk here for 7 years.

Hes in the middle of a court case right now so I have to see if he's around but he would be perfect to

help you out.

Cheers

[DP25]

  On 9/30/2010 at 6:46 AM, luckizuchinni said:

And a 19-year-old boy, in Bangkok, will most likely gravitate to the bars, and he will probably partake.

lol no. But good luck in your effort to write yet another boring exploitative novel set in Thailand that no one will read

[gburns57au]

Ho Hum............

Just what the world needs...another book about Thailand written by someone who doesnt have a clue about Thailand or the culture. Basing it on the experiences of a bunch of bar stool or expat cynics.

I am glad it is a novel.....the idea certainly isnt

[mca]

  On 9/30/2010 at 7:22 AM, luckizuchinni said:

to see if he seems real or too cartoonish.

In the novel if someone hits him in the face with an iron or frying pan does his face assume the shape of the object hitting him? Does he use items from the ACME catalogue a lot? Does he fly in a squadron of nutters ( with a dog for a sidekick) chasing a pigeon? When answering the phone does he say " Ah it's you General?"

If not you're all good.

[Beetlejuice]

If writing a novel with a Thai theme, remember to take into consideration Thailand’s strict defamatory laws and Lèse majesté with the contents.

The same applies for anyone who assists with the writing and publication of this book.

[Tim207]

  On 9/30/2010 at 7:22 AM, luckizuchinni said:

That is pretty much what I did. But it would still be good to get some feedback.

One character in the bar scenes is a rough, English guy (modeled after a guy I met), but it would be great to get some feedback on him to see if he seems real or too cartoonish.

LOL, half of the people I have met in the bars ARE cartoonish.

[NoBSBoy]

Lots of time on my hands and I read purty gud. So, if you'd like straight shooting from a literate ex-pat (a rarity other than beer labels) I'll take a look. I'd be happy to generate feedback but have no idea how to make contact. See, I still read real books, not e-books and have no idea what PM even stands for other than post-menopausal and she's gone. So let me know how to communicate privately with you if you're interested. And, yes, I have knowledge of beer bars, bar girls, and Buddhism. I even went to boot camp - but I finished.

[luckizuchinni]

  On 9/30/2010 at 12:09 PM, DP25 said:

  On 9/30/2010 at 6:46 AM, luckizuchinni said:

And a 19-year-old boy, in Bangkok, will most likely gravitate to the bars, and he will probably partake.

lol no. But good luck in your effort to write yet another boring exploitative novel set in Thailand that no one will read

Just because the protagonist goes into a bar does not mean the the book is exploitive. Three of 25 chapters take place at least partially in in the night areas of Bangkok.

The book is a coming-of-age novel, which yes, is a common theme. But since I know Thailand, I chose that for the setting. And while I have tried to treat the country with a neutral eye, I think it comes across as a rather positive place.

[luckizuchinni]

  On 9/30/2010 at 12:13 PM, gburns57au said:

Ho Hum............

Just what the world needs...another book about Thailand written by someone who doesnt have a clue about Thailand or the culture. Basing it on the experiences of a bunch of bar stool or expat cynics.

I am glad it is a novel.....the idea certainly isnt

Sorry you feel that way. The reality is that I am pretty familiar with Thailand and its culture. I live here, for one. I am just not that familiar with the bar scene, with the practical, real life aspects of Buddhism, and how a lower-educated Brit might talk.

I have been published many times in the past, mostly for non-fiction. And I have always had editors read and comment on my work. I will have this one edited as well, but I thought that it might be better to have some people read it who actually know something about Thailand. Just because it is fiction does not mean that I should write things which just aren't true.

And one last thing, as I wrote above, this book is not about Thailand. It is about the protagonist. It is just the majority of the book is set in Thailand.

[luckizuchinni]

  On 9/30/2010 at 1:13 PM, Beetlejuice said:

If writing a novel with a Thai theme, remember to take into consideration Thailand's strict defamatory laws and Lèse majesté with the contents.

The same applies for anyone who assists with the writing and publication of this book.

Good advice, but this was taken into consideration when it was written. No problems in that area.

[luckizuchinni]

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