khall64au Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 This post is open to male and females. I am getting so tired of the biased and opinionated attacks on farang women... not just on this forum but in Thailand's farang community-in-general! When I first came here (just under 3 years ago) bright-eyed and bushy-tailed - enthusiastic about working and living in such a dynamic country - I had no idea that I would be under attack as the"enemy". I am flabbergasted and shocked at the attitudes of many farang men against western females. I feel so lucky to have been brought up in the western world. I've earned the many opportunities to work hard towards my own education and future prosperity. travel and living in other societies. I consider this the best education I could ever hope to have. And I do contribute valuable skills to Thailand. But - as much as I do feel lucky to live and work here - I feel like I'm in a pyschic war every day from those males with similar blood lines. What gives? Am tired of being accused of all sorts of crimes I've never committed. It's not funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Som Na Na...ignore the ######s and get on with things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Agree with Brit, ignore them if it bothers you, but don't forget to ask yourself why it is such a common theme. If you are clever, such an inquiry will lead you to a position where such 'attacks' do not affect you personally. Comments made in good faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuchok Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 This is probably a small part of the problem... "Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -- Robin Williams Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zata_in_bangkok Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 This is probably a small part of the problem... "Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -- Robin Williams <{POST_SNAPBACK}> But to get serious: I agree with the other posts: let it go, ignore it... And: ask yourself why many (not all!) farang men - I specifically mean the ones that have "girlfriends" half their age and even less their size - see women like you, me or many other women on this forum; successful, independent and well-educated women as so threatning that they have to badmouth them... And then.. do you really care what those men think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlx Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 the type of men that come to thailand with this attitude tend to be the type you shouldn't bother yourself over... that's why they are here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRIPxCORE Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 see women like you, me or many other women on this forum; successful, independent and well-educated women as so threatning that they have to badmouth them... And then.. do you really care what those men think? IMHO, this is not the reason why many Western men choose to "bad-mouth" Western women. A woman that is successful, independent and well-educated is perfectly fine. The problem I think is that men have an old-fashioned idea of how they want women to be. Men would like the women they are pursuing to be similar to how women back in the 1950's were, in terms of personality. Most women back then didn't play so many games, weren't concerned so much with a man's monetary or social situation per se, and considered themselves lucky to find a man that wanted to marry them and provide them with a family. Back then, it was all about creating and maintaining your own family through love and eventually marriage. Nowadays, Western women take a lot more into consideration when looking for a partner such as what his job is, how much money he makes, and what kind of lifestyle he will be able to provide to her. Todays Western woman, for the most part, is just a lot more demanding and choosy. Todays Western woman, for the most part, refuse to let relationships maintain that same dynamic as in the 1950's where the man was leader of the household without question and the wife was always behind the man supporting him. Most men nowadays grew up seeing this old-fashioned style of marriage between their parents and want to maintain the status quo. Western women are the one's advocating this wind of change and it may be a telling reason why the divorce rates of today are far greater than that of yester-year. For better or worse, this is what the Western men of today feel IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywais Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Just know that the VAST majority (IMHO) of farang males on this board do not harbor these feelings including myself. It is the very small (minded) few that use this forum as a soapbox to express their own frustrations and inadequacies. As others on this forum have said just ignore them, they're not worth the frustration and time venting, just makes them think their point is valid - so do not give them validity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zata_in_bangkok Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 One more thing: two or three weeks ago I had dinner with a bunch of people and this topic came up... And of course there was a very smart person telling us that western women are just not 'real women' anymore... And guess who stood up most against this comment: the western men on the table... And to tripXcore... I do agree that women are not like they used to be 50 or even 20 years ago... And THANK GOD to that.... And there is one thing that I don't agree with: women nowadays do not really consider what kind of lifestyle 'he' will be able to provide to her... For my part, I make enough money to have a pretty good lifestyle of it... and guess why: it is because I DID go to a top school, etc. Yes, women are more demanding now... But I think mostly, they are more demanding of themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRIPxCORE Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 (edited) For my part, I make enough money to have a pretty good lifestyle of it... and guess why: it is because I DID go to a top school, etc. Yes, women are more demanding now... But I think mostly, they are more demanding of themselves. Well congratulations. Notice though, I took great care in my statements to emphasize the use of "most women" so as not to generalize all. Edited July 24, 2005 by TRIPxCORE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zata_in_bangkok Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 For my part, I make enough money to have a pretty good lifestyle of it... and guess why: it is because I DID go to a top school, etc. Yes, women are more demanding now... But I think mostly, they are more demanding of themselves. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well congratulations. Notice though, I took great care in my statements to emphasize the use of "most women" so as not to generalize all. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I forgive you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZZZ Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 One reason could be that Thai girls are more “girly” than today’s western women who are more on the “matey” side. If a man wants a girl he would favor the Thai girl, if he wanted a mate he would favor the blokes down the pub. Left over would be the poor western woman. Another thing, everyone knows women are smarter than men. The difference between Thai women and western women is that Thai women use this and western women flaunt it. Note: This is generalizing and just a guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Burr Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Has as much validity as the statement that all Western males living in LOS and married to Thai women are losers that couldn't find a woman in their own countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 This post is open to male and females.I am getting so tired of the biased and opinionated attacks on farang women... not just on this forum but in Thailand's farang community-in-general! When I first came here (just under 3 years ago) bright-eyed and bushy-tailed - enthusiastic about working and living in such a dynamic country - I had no idea that I would be under attack as the"enemy". I am flabbergasted and shocked at the attitudes of many farang men against western females. I feel so lucky to have been brought up in the western world. I've earned the many opportunities to work hard towards my own education and future prosperity. travel and living in other societies. I consider this the best education I could ever hope to have. And I do contribute valuable skills to Thailand. But - as much as I do feel lucky to live and work here - I feel like I'm in a pyschic war every day from those males with similar blood lines. What gives? Am tired of being accused of all sorts of crimes I've never committed. It's not funny! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Can you give some examples of these attacks and attitudes? Is it so different to attitudes in your own country? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chechoie Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Tywais is right, don’t let it bother you. You will always come across people and groups of people whose opinions you’ll find frustrating and unjust. By all means challenge them, but don’t let their views annoy you. You’ve had the guts to leave home and see a bit of the world, so don’t let these people get you down and spoil anything for you. Men are not all bad, (I know, my mum told me). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dereklev Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 the type of men that come to thailand with this attitude tend to be the type you shouldn't bother yourself over... that's why they are here. Why are they here? ? And why are you here? ? To the OP I agree don't let it bother you. In any environment you will encounter plonkers like this! ! Focus on the good guys......as tywais said not all males on this forum are d*ckheads! (Poetic licence used )! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefan Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 I certainly do also not harbor that kind of feelings towards Western women here - in fact I have been dating one or two Bangkok based Western women. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 (edited) I have many (ok, 5) young friends who are 'western males' who live for one reason or another, in Thailand and four of them are the sort being described here; they definitely have something against the type of girl they used to date in their own country. They're not old, they're not dating asian girls who are half their age (normally older actually..strange turn of events) and with the exception of perhaps one of them, they are all handsome and decent guys. They realise that there are many fantastic western women/girls who they would like to date given a chance, but they feel that 'on the whole' their experiences to date leave them feeling hurt (usually male pride reasons) whereas the opposite can be said of the experiences to date with non-western girls. I better stop before Boo hits me again. Edited July 24, 2005 by OxfordWill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 OxfordWill I better stop before Boo hits me again. I've got my cane out Will, ready? Seriously though, to the op, I never once before joining this forum & subsequently becoming a mod felt any kind of bad feeling towards me from western men in thailand or anywhere. Maybe I had my head in the sand or the guys hid it well but I didn't care enough about strangers to care what they thought of me or western women in general. Since knowing this forum, which I love, & has at times been a lifeline for me, I have seen more mysoganistic, rascist & disgusting coments about western women than I would care to see in a lifetime & am amazed at the denial/justifications/excuses that a lot of the men come up with as to why they are in Thailand or choose to date asian women. I mean, what an insult to Thai women that the guys have to slag off another just to explain why they are with them instead of just saying it's because they like/love that women or she is the type he likes. I can tell you personally that I don't care, it's up to you, you don't have to defend yourselves or your choices as everyone is different & expects different things out of life or a realtionship, thats a basic human right. There is someone out there for everyone but remember that western men in Thailand are a minority, so although their voice here (on thaivisa) may be the majority there are MILLIONS of happy men with western women but if a thai women is what you want then come & get one if you can, it''s your right to be happy with who you choose. I don't think that all western men here are whoremongers, there are some, sure, we've all seen them but they are again the minority, same as the paedos & pervs, yes they exist but I'd no more care about their opinion or want to be friends with them than I would a member of the KKK. Western womens expectations may have changed but that is to do with us getting more human rights & we no longer have to be grateful that ANY guy wants to marry us, we want to marry/date someone we like too. We don't have to settle for some guy who might treat us bad or like an unpaid slave, we don't HAVE to stay in a loveless marraige just for the sake of apperance or tolerate infidelity, most men wouldn't want that either & I know none who would have put up with the kind of whoring around that men of my fathers generation did if their wives were doing it too For hundreds of years, men had it all & if some don't like that we have adjusted the balance for a short time in comparison, then tough tits & yes, it may of gone the other way to some extreem but liek most things it will balance it's self out int he end. Western women have more choice & control of our own lives and if that bothers some guys then sorry but get over it. I for one hope they DON'T come to thailand to meet a girl as I wouldn't wish that on any women Not all western men in thailand or with thai wives/gf's have this attitude, I have met plenty who don't, some from this forum & others in person but to the ones who do, then f&ck off, I have a good job, a nice house, a fantastic husband who loves me for all I am & great friends, do you really think I need your permission to be the women I am, no I don't & never will but I think thats what pisses you off the most isn't it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachbunny Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 You go Boo!!! My husbandof 26 years is thai also, and we have lots of thai friends here and have made some friends with western men from various countries, and their wives who are quite nice. Some from this forum. However, when my husband and I go out (according to him) we get lots of stares from western men. I ignore all strange men no matter what country I'm in , so doesn't bother me. Just always wondered why they stare though. Beachbunny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 I usually stare back I love people watching Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Burr Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Hope this thread doesn't go the same way as the last thread that was on this subject. Boo, Kat I'm sure you remember it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 lol, sure do I just hope everyone can keep it civilised Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Haven't said a word Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niall Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Well I have a slightly different perspective on this. I am your fairly typical married a wonderful western women who turned in to the nagging screaming drama queen bitch from ###### got screwed in the divorce courts found out under UK law I have no rights whatsoever type guy now living in Thailand. I am simply not interested in western women any more. I ignore them and if they ignored me then all would be well but it seems they just can not leave me alone. I am 43 years old and tend to date Thai women around 25. I do this because I can and I do not see that it is anyones business but my own. But I'm damned if a week does not go past without some western women making rude comments about how I should 'ACT my age' date my own kind' etc etc. They also for some reason want to have a conversation with me about how men 'oppress' woman and seem to hold me personally responsible for it and tell me that I am 'oppressing' the women I date. Lets be clear I came to Thailand to get away from all the feminazis bullshit that now pervades the whole of Western society. I do note Want to discuss it. I do not want to justify myself. I do not hate anyone. I just want to be left alone to live my life. Is that too much to ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Burr Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 (edited) Oh dear, here we go again. Edited July 24, 2005 by Sir Burr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Well, I have to agree with Boo, I have lived in Thailand for the past 16 years and have never encountered any western male with the guts (ahem, was gonna use another word but figured it would be censored ) to speak to my face the way some of the amazingly misogynistic bozos have posted on this forum. That said, I can be a bit intimidating, like I've said before, my daddy didn't raise no wimpy girls. You have to be a real man to be married to the women in my family, and according to Dad, that applied to his sisters as well . My father is 70 years old and would probably be classed as one of those old-fashioned men, excepting of course, for the fact that he raised his daughters to believe they could be whatever they wanted to be. My oldest sister is a research physicist, my middle sister has her own publishing company that she started from nothing, and I live on an island in Thailand. It's funny how many guys point out the girly aspect of Thai women, boys, that is just when you are around. Around women that persona doesn't appear much. Remember one thing, what you see isn't always what you get!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlRedEyes Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Bad experiences 'back home' is part of the reason. These were not always the females fault. However, another reason is the prolific use of terms like 'burnt out old men with gf's half their age' and 'whoremongers'. I don't go to bars, I am an educated and once sucessful man that never had a problem 'getting' women 'back home' . I came to Thailand for reasons other than the bargirls, and happened to meet an educated woman who was also attracted to me for reasons other than money, which I don't have. I don't go to bars, although I have no problem with the 'whoremongers', it's a lifestyle they choose for some pretty good reasons. There is no great age difference between my wife and me, but virtually everytime we pass a farang lady, be it tourist or expat, the looks of contempt I get is unbelievable. They don't know us, yet they judge from their rather sad picture of what the world should be. *They* do deserve my contempt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niall Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 sbk, So lets review. Western men 'haven't got the balls' We are misogynistic. You are 'intimidating'. So basically your Andrea Dworkin. Oh and there's a very pretty young girl sitting just over there. Hmm... wonder which of the two of you I wish to spend time with... DOH! (copyright Homer Simpson) OK let do the checklist: I am ugly Can't get a woman in my own society Can't handle 'real' women Have small penis Want a slave not a relationship Anything I left out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niall Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Red Eyes, I am with you on this. I have never seen a western man dishing out on a western woman. Most western men I now just do not want to talk to a western women socially. If this has happened, as the starter of this thread suggest it has then that is unfortunate but IMHO opinion untypical. The 'attitude' from Western woman toward us seems universal though. As I said I just want to be left alone. Perhaps me contributing to this thread is a contradiction but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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