A Pissed Scotsman..

[chuchok]

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of alcohol at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap with his back against a tree.

As he slept, two young lasses walking down the road heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him and one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilts." She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth. Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away.

Several minutes later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt and saw where the blue ribbon was tied.

After several moments of bewilderment, the Scotsman said, "I dinna know where ya been laddie...but it's nice ta know ya won first prize!"

[thaibebop]

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of alcohol at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap with his back against a tree.

As he slept, two young lasses walking down the road heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him and one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilts." She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth. Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away.

Several minutes later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt and saw where the blue ribbon was tied.

After several moments of bewilderment, the Scotsman said, "I dinna know where ya been laddie...but it's nice ta know ya won first prize!"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Did you know they turned that joke in to a song?

Or maybe the song into a joke.

[mnoorsapl]

lol..

[Boatabike]

Did you know they turned that joke in to a song?

Or maybe the song into a joke.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That was a yellow ribbon and it was around the old oak tree.

[thaibebop]

Did you know they turned that joke in to a song?

Or maybe the song into a joke.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That was a yellow ribbon and it was around the old oak tree.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know what that song is. I have the 20th Anniversary Collection of the Dr. Demento radio show and Vol.1 track 2, is a song called The Scotsman. It is sang live and a cappella, uses much of the same words in the joke to.

[johnh101]

Young English Salesman had just finished off his first visit to Inverness. He pointed his car Eastward and headed off across the beatiful scenery towards his next set of appointments.

Suddenly he notices, standing on the highland roadside, a vision of beauty like he had never see. She was Blonde, she was tall, she was slim, she was stunning ! ! and she was thumbing a lift.

Intrigued he pulls his car to a stop alongside her and opens his door, "Would you like a lift somewhere ?"

Whoosh ! ! ! ......all of a sudden this monster of a Bearded, Kilted, Highland man has him by the hair, pulls him from the car and throws him to the floor.

"Masturbate, you little English &lt;deleted&gt;...........or I'll kill you with my bare hands"

The man is flabergasted at this request, but petrified he drops his trousers and though he struggled, he eventually manges to pull one off and slumps against the car.

The Scotsman looks at him with the scarriest eyes imaginable and says....."Again you little sh1t !"

The man is incredulous but seeing that the Scotman is now weilding what appears to be a tree trunk in his hand, furiously starts thrashing away again,. 10, 15 20 minutes go by and eventually he manages to pull if off again and he slumps to the floor.

"AGAIN, AGAIN !" screams the scotmans

"I cannot" screams the salesman

"AGAIN, AGAIN !" screams the scotmans "Or yer deed !"

With one last great effort the Salesman try's again.............and somehow, finally managed a little squit before collapsing.

When he comes to he is back sitting in the car, with the blond sitting beside him, the smiling face and Red Beard of the Scotaman is sticking in his window.........

"Now.................... you can drive my daughter to Aberdeen"

[thaibebop]