Thai Girlfriend Schitzo In Another Country

[vasan_blr]

Eagles you are limiting you help options by not divulging what country you are in. More help might come forth if you tell.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I do suspect this. Becuase basically getting work permit in Europe, that too uneducated ?. Also not married legally ?.

Eagle, she need to get some relief for her physical emotation. Depression or mind sickness can happen to anyone.

With my experience Aerobics, Jogging like hard physical exercises can give some relief. Ginseng(Chineese herb available in the form of capsule) can restore her neurological disorder like depression without any side effects. First thing all you need is councling, relaxation and hope. Any major neuro disorder can be cured for sure.

[camerata]

As someone else said, she sounds bipolar (manic depressive) and the condition is probably being aggravated by her being away from home.

You can't really diagnose or treat someone who is bipolar if they don't accept they have a problem and want to get cured, because the diagnosis is based mainly on how the patient describes his/her own feelings.

You may have to bring her back to Thailand and kiss her goodbye.

[DJ Pat]

sounds like shes desperate to get back to her go-go bar...

[malcolminthemiddle]

Hi Eagles,

I know exactly how you feel from first hand experience.

At the moment you are in jail and to gain your freedom you must plot your escape.

The first step is to accept that your relationship with this lady has no future.

Once you have accepted this, your path will become clearer.

You must start to make arrangements to return to Thailand together sometime in the foreseeable near future. She must be a willing party to the trip to visit family or whatever reason you can think of that she will accept. Don't just throw the idea of a trip to Thailand at her, introduce it slowly, if possible get her to suggest it.

Meanwhile, do not antagonise her. Go out of your way to maintain the happy side of her character. Deal with her "bad periods" as best you can.

Never let her know your plans.

Sleep with one eye open.

Work towards getting on the plane and freedom.

[dereklev]

sounds like shes desperate to get back to her go-go bar...

Harsh, but probably true......

She most likely left the farm to go and work in BKK and now poor girl is working on a farm again! !

Seriously though Eagles she needs proper professional care! !

[ronz28]

Sounds lonely- a pet may help

A dog that could live in the home may help if you get one with a good personality that she likes. Face it- the west is unfriedly compared to Thailand. Labs are good dogs but they are big. I would do some research on the internet to learn about the nature of individual breeds and their size to be sure it would do well in your living accommodations. No pit bulls or other vicious dogs or you will end up with another problem.

[Kathe]

Hi,

I am Irish and am in a Western country with my Thai girlfriend who I have known for 3 years. I'm 28 and she's 29. Ever since I've known her, she's had some psychological problems.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You better take her to a Psycatrist and confirm that she is having problem. Get a written note from the doctor. Contact Thai Embassy and tell the situation and deport her to Thailand as soon as possible before she does some thing bad for herself or for you.

She may be having hysteric diseases because worked in Sex industry before and she might be abused by some one (may be a foreigner). Probably her inner mind is wrongly reacting after seeing lot of foreigners there.

She might be happy back or can be normal after coming back to Thailand. A Thai doctor can council her and treat better. In general Psyco problem can be treated and live normal.

Sounds the case is serious.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, I think she 's really need help from the Psychiatrist. It is serious. Her abused stays deep and when her depressive getting stronger, she will just do the same, drinking just to forgetting and pretending that is the way to solve the problem. This is the sickness and she needs YOUR HELP. Bring her back to Thailand , we do have many good psychiatrists , first she has to take the right medicine. It's a long process to cure this sickness. The best medicine is to be loved , needed and care and building self confidence and peace of mind. Many bad things had happened in her younger life that she couldnt push them away so easily. It's very difficult to answer and solve your problem. At least help her, bring her to Dr. Do your

best, and if she ignorsyour help, then you decide what you are going to do with your life. You still have your life ahead.

[britmaveric]

Two choices - cope and get her some professional help or send her packing back to thailand. I think you knew this already though...

[donna]

What a sad situation. This guy seems to really love his girlfriend and I think that by asking here for advice this is proven.

What to do? Get her in to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. I would take Thomas Mertons advice really.

I have a friend with a mental condition, and she is a great mate of mine. Her condition is not agressive towards other people - more towards herself. But the good news is that help IS available. My friend is getting some good help now and at the moment is doing really well.

I don't know how you would go about getting her to see one of these specialists, but if you really want to help her you know how you will do it.

Ultimately, when it comes to your relationship, you are the best judge of what to do. Is she worth it? Are you prepared to put up with her during the time it will take to get her meds right? Do you REALLY love her?

I wish you good luck with this and hope that it will all work out for you.

[coldcrush]

sounds like shes desperate to get back to her go-go bar...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Either way its seems like he needs her to see or Doctor or pack her back to LOS...I am sure this is the best place to discuss it tho, I mean I am sure we all know exactly what is wrong right? Not...!

Sounds like a case of she just doesnt give a &lt;deleted&gt;....

Edited August 5, 2005 by lopburiguy

[Neeranam]

I am sorry to say I was in a similar position to you with my last wife. She did not drink for the first 2 years of our marriage, I knew she was a recovering alcoholic, but thought she was over it. when she hit the bottle, BANG, everything we had worked so hard to acheive went out of the window. She did not drink off and on just on and on.

The old saying, "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic" could be relevant here.

I know many alkies who have not had a drink for years(including myself) and they(I) are still alcoholic. It makes absolutely no difference if she drinks everday or just every few weeks, or years. What alcoholic means to me is that once you have a drink you can't control your behaviour.

To sum up, dont put up with it like I had to as she was my Wife- LEAVE NOW, get her some help if you can, but it aint the same here as back in Farangland. You gotta look after number ONE

I know it HURTS LIKE H#LL- BUT YOU GOTTA DO IT

I really wish you good luck

Leaving her may be the best thing you can do, so she has to get help. Tough love and all that. Try "Alanon", who are in all Western countries.

[Buff-horns]

Hi,

I'm posting here as I've been walking around the city all day trying to get some professional advice. No-one will listen so as a last resort, before I do something crazy, I'm hoping someone here may have been in my situation and could advise me.

I am Irish and am in a Western country with my Thai girlfriend who I have known for 3 years. I'm 28 and she's 29. Ever since I've known her, she's had some psychological problems. At first, I thought it was just that she can't handle alcohol (like a lot of people) but I now know it is something more serious. Most of the time, we seem completely happy, laughing together and never arguing. We're very close and know each other very well. She can go for weeks without alcohol so she's not an alcoholic. But every few weeks or so, something triggers her into a tantrum. She looses it and wherever we're living, we have to leave. She breaks everything in sight and yells the most hurtful abuse at me (only at me). I leave her or call the police because I can't cope. She then goes to a pub, gets drunk and cries to everyone how I left her. She cries a lot. And then I go back and we change towns. This sequence has happened maybe a dozen times - we've been kicked out of where we've been staying and everything has been broken. It's never an argument, it's her being angry at me. She is uneductaed and although she vehemently denies it, her family enticed her into 'higher?' prostitute when she was younger. She would steal from mens' rooms. And I'm pretty sure she's cheated on me many times during her 'fits'. But every time so far I have returned and we've been blissfully happy again. It's difficult to believe that the happy her is the same as the cheating, hysterical, violent her.

It's difficult for us to get visas and we had 3 months left here and she had just got a work visa for that time. I thought that we would save up money, return to Thailand and be able to do something good for next time. The first week working together (on a farm) was perfect. But in her 2nd week working, she started treating me badly, shouting at me, claiming I had done terrible things to her (give her a work visa so she could pay for her own ticket back home etc!! Make her working on farm!). This went on for 3 days and I couldn't go to work one day as I was scraed she'd shout at me in front of everyone. The night before last, she went to a pub, probably met a man and went to his place, eventually came back to me and completely drunk, started screaming, running outside naked and screaming, breaking things, throwing things. I can't control her when she's like that so I called the cops. They basically laughed at me and told me to 'cut Thais' with her. And I did, I packed my stuff in the car and drove off. At first, she left messages on my phone saying '###### you man, cannot leave me like that' and then it changed to: I love you, please come back. Today she got her first weeks wages and she is now in a pub getting drunk crying to everyone about how I left her. If I go back, sure we'll be happy for a while and then this'll happen again and again like it already has happened again and again. If anyone else has been in my situation, please tell me what to do. Go back to the nightmare, abandon her to god knows what or is it possible for her to be cured/tamed? What is wrong with her? She isn't capable of living alone or working alone and she's already been told she can't stay in the place we were staying after Sunday. She'll spend her money on alcohol and then either someone will help her, she'll get deported or maybe she'll realise she has to work to live. What do I do? Please someone help!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

its not an uncommon story, heard of similar cases .maybe she just cant stand living in the west .

just not happy.

so just send her back pronto before she sticks a knife in your belly or cuts off your balls when she finally snaps bigtime.

there is no solution if she stays outside LOS.

IMO

from archives google>>

*****************************************************

Jason Russell Aug 7 2003, 9:49 am Newsgroups: soc.culture.thai

Date: Thu, 7 Aug 2003 09:49:34 +0100

Local: Thurs, Aug 7 2003 9:49 am

Subject: Re: Jason & Maitree

In news:[email protected],

FritzMagnum <[email protected]> typed:

> "Jason Russell" <[email protected]> wrote

> in message <news:[email protected]>...

>> For those that know us/helped us via this NG, I have some sad news.

>> Due to her increasingly bizarre, aggressive and dangerous behaviour,

>> we have split and I have filed for divorce.

>> I wish her well.

>> I will remain lurking in this NG, as I do plan to return to LOS

>> shortly, but I will not be in a hurry to get into any form of

>> long-term relationship.

>> Jason Russell

> Hi Jason, sorry to hear this news. Like the others I am curious to

> know more, it is interesting to know more about the circumstances. If

> you don't mind, please advise when you met her, how long before you

> married, how long were you actually married, and what is the

> difference in your age? Any kids?

> -FritzMagnum

I met Maitree in April 2000 at her cousins Wedding in Northern Thailand.

I returned to Thailand twice that year, and eventually succeeded in getting

her a UK visa in August 2000.

She flew to England in September, and we married in November 2000.

She was 25, I was 30. She spent about 6 months in school improving her

English.

We have been married almost three years, but fortunately do not have any

kids, although she wanted them.

Money has never been a problem (I run my own IT consultancy), and we have

been to Thailand three times since our marriage to see family.

She has a full time job here in the UK, and earns good money, and is fully

integrated into the Thai community here.

We live in West Sussex.

I tried to give the girl everything (within reason), but she just started to

get worse and worse - I think a major turning point was when her cousin had

Twins.

This cousin is very materialistic, and her husband is a sucker!! Many

mutual friends don't like her, even Maitree told me she was trash!! And yet

still seemed in awe of her - weird

Jason

----== Posted via Newsfeed.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----

http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 Newsgroups

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[Nam Kao]

Are you sure she is not a lady falang?

[ThaiPauly]

Sounds lonely- a pet may help

A dog that could live in the home may help if you get one with a good personality that she likes.  Face it- the west is unfriedly compared to Thailand.  Labs are good dogs but they are big.  I would do some research on the internet to learn about the nature of individual breeds and their size to be sure it would do well  in your living accommodations.  No pit bulls or other vicious dogs or you will end up with another problem.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a load of rubbish, you will be saying they should have a bay next to CEMENT their relationships, if you are going to comment PLEASE say something constructive.

Not this Bullshit

[meadish_sweetball]

She needs professional help for sure.

Don't waste your time reading uniformed opinions such as this one on the Internet, get her diagnosed and try to work out how to best help her. The problem is that she is not very likely to confide in, or to be able to explain to, a Western psychiatrist what is eating her - that is if she even wants to acknowledge that she has a problem... The way you describe her behaviour, it sounds like she thinks you are the problem, and in that case it will be difficult for you to help her.

Take Thomas up on his advice if you are in Scandinavia and for some reason cannot go back to Thailand to deal with the situation there.

Once you have got the ball rolling, unless you thoroughly love her and are ready to sacrifice years of your time and peace of mind for her getting better, I also think you should consider pulling out.

I once spent over a year on helping a girlfriend out of her self-depricating ways, boosting her confidence and trying to encourage her to get out and meet people, and she thanked me by dumping me as soon as she had the confidence to. Knowing you've done the right thing is a small comfort in that situation.

[ThaiPauly]

Sorry I meant BABY not BAY you dont need a BAy, take Thaomas mertons advice if I were yoou, Jeez you are too young for this shit, only normally happens to older me with younger women.

Do what you can- then call it a day

[TRIPxCORE]

If I were you, I would take her back to Thailand where her family is and leave her there. At least she will be in a familiar place with people she knows. Unless you are prepared to sacrifice your life for the well-being of hers, this is all you can do.

[Nickerelastic]

To the op, have you noticed that your tg's bouts of madness occur round about the same time as her period?

I can tell you from personal experience that PMT can turn a normal loving girl into a complete monster.

You must get your girl to go to a doctor.

[The_Other_Mac]

To the op, have you noticed that your tg's bouts of madness occur round about the same time as her period?

I can tell you from personal experience that PMT can turn a normal loving girl into a complete monster.

You must get your girl to go to a doctor.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

... particularly if she's started/stopped or changed brand of contraceptive pills. That would be a happy ending, simply reversing the change would end the problems overnight.

It does seem like something more extreme, like bipolar though. Go to a doctor ASAP.

[AmeriThai]

What I wonder about is does the TG even recognize she has a problem. From the sounds of it, probably not. And unless she either acknowledges that she has a problem or is "forced" to get help, it's not likely she'll change at all. It seems pretty obvious that she needs some kind of professional help, but getting her to go along with it may be a different matter.

The real question is whether the OP wants to deal with her odd behavior for who knows how long. At best, such a relationship would be a constant roller coaster ride. At worst, she could reach a point that she presents a danger to herself or to someone else.

I'd have to agree with those who suggest to take her back to Thailand to her family without giving any explanations or details. Then leave and chalk it off as an unfortunate experience. There are plenty of other Thai women available who are more stable mentally. The object is to have a mutually healthy relationship, not something that requires taking on the role as a constant caregiver.

[geronimo]

If what you say is true, it is not just a farang related problem (although some will argue that it is woman specific     )

Girl needs pro help.Simple as that. If you can get help for her and she  will not help herself, then you have done all that you can.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Put as much physical distance between you and her as soon as possible and that has to be the best advice you'll ever get about your problem

[meadish_sweetball]

Before sending her back to her family, I would consider trying to find out what role they have in shaping her present self... They may well be the cause of her mental instability, and sending her back might be the worst thing you can do. Just a thought....

and if enough people havent said it already, get her to professional help.

[AmeriThai]

Before sending her back to her family, I would consider trying to find out what role they have in shaping her present self... They may well be the cause of her mental instability, and sending her back might be the worst thing you can do. Just a thought....

and if enough people havent said it already, get her to professional help.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good point. But if the family is the cause of her instabiity, she can't exactly be dropped off in the middle of nowhere. Professional help would still be the best solution, but only if:

1. She recognizes she has a problem and wants to seek help, or,

2. She's so far off the wall that she would or could be legally committed.

Since he's not married to her, the OP might not have any pull to get her in for professional treatment.

I'm wondering if the OP has ever discussed the problem with his TG, and how she replied, if at all.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Sort the lost passport problem and ask for advice of the staff at the nearest Thai Consulate.

Royal Thai Consulate-General

18 Shortland Street

AUCKLAND

(649) 373 3166

[chuchok]

Sort the lost passport problem and ask for advice of the staff at the nearest Thai Consulate.

Royal Thai Consulate-General

18 Shortland Street

AUCKLAND

(649) 373 3166

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

IP well spotted Doc.

There is a farang Doctor in Auckland that speaks fluent Thai.He spent 7 years working in Thailand.His practice is in Mangere Town Centre.Can't remember the buggers name, but nearly all Thai people in Auckland know about him.I'm sure the Consulate does.He should be able to point you in the right direction. Amazing bloke.Doesn't charge for the first consultation....unheard of!!

Edited August 6, 2005 by chuchok

[dr_Pat_Pong]

That is a good guide too. I'm sure the Consul-General will know the man. The C-G is Mike Whale. Nice guy too.

[sua yai]

The one thing I wouldn't advise is going back to Thailand with her/staying there with her.

If she's as distressed as described and the Western police have been called on a number of occasions, I'd be very concerned about what she might be capable of "back home".

It would be very easy for her to blame the OP for the failure of the Western visit and to become more unstable.

Certainly, professional help is the number one, but to live with her in Thailand is leaving yourself wide open. I've been here with a "homicidal maniac" before and it's not fun. I've got the scars to prove it.

[eagles]

Thanks for your responses. My situation is, I've concluded, impossible. The thing is, I guess, that a lot of Thai girls (my girlfriend included) are on a downward spiral from the moment they're born. My girlfriend was born into a family who decided that the best chance they had at life was prostitution. Her mother deserted her at a young age to work 'boom boom' in the city. My girlfriend had a weird childhood being cared for by a variety of family prostitutes as well as an evil, evil Cambodian grandmother (who had somehow acquried a Thai farm) and when still very young and stupid she had 2 sons by Thai man who then left her. (Was she already impossible then? Or did this make her impossible?)Then her family convinced her that prostitution with farangs was the answer. Her mother also gave her money to go to Singapore for 'work.' My girlfriend was rich and she partied for years. She drank and drank and, as she was away from her sons, uninfomed and confused, her morals simply collapsed. Her version of Buddhism is absurd! She made friends with lady boys. She had all the vicious experiences a girl like her could. And then a European asked her to marry him. She said yes but she couldn't (or wouldn't) get a visa and she enticed money out of him for months and months if not years. And then I came along - a very naive, young, promising, university educated European. Once we met, she clung to me like glue as I wanted to stay in Thailand for a while and could hence give her a free room. We stayed together but the damage had already been done to her. She had no self control, a despicable character, no morals, a drink problem. She wanted desperately to give money to her sons but, even when she was rich, she didn't. She selfish desire for sanuk was bigger! I then took her to South Korea, Hong Kong, all over south east asia. Whenever, we stayed anywhere for more than a week, she would go beserk, the room would be trashed and we would have to leave. She wanted to be loved by an unfaithful man (as I never was) but she also wanted to have other men. She came to disrespect me as I was unable to be with her 24 hours a day (as she insisted, lest I go astray!) and also get rich. I was someone to be used as she thought it was normal for men to be treated. But I was also to be loved, as she also thought was normal. We wandered turbulently about the planet without a future for a long time and then she was given a work visa and it became finally possible that we could save money and build a future and she could give her sons money. But in the 2nd week of work (on a farm of all places!), she decided that something was wrong, exploded, the police had to be called and this time (even though I don't know how I'll live without her, can't bear to think what'll happen to her, and I know it's not her fault how she is) I didn't go back for more! This is how men avert a life of hen-pecked misery!

Edited August 7, 2005 by eagles

[Nickerelastic]

To the op did you intend to say"" She wanted to be loved by an unfaithful man (as I always was)"" ?

[thaigene2]

Had a girlfriend,farang, some time ago exactly the same mate. Despite psychiatric help she always reverted during times of depression. The best day was when I left her and moved to Thailand

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, I agree with this. I've also been through this (with a farang woman). But she was quiet (true depressive). You need to get out of the situation. Your GF sounds like she is really mentally disturbed. The alcohol is not the issue, but a contributing factor during one of the outbursts (because it sounds like the booze follows the tantrums)

Form my little amateur couch I reckon you have two options:

1. Run away - do not walk - immediately.

2. Ultimatum: "I am taking you to a shrink whom you shall see twice a week for two months and then we will get an assessment. You must follow his advice precisely. If you refuse, if you stop going, or if you ignore his advice, or stop taking prescribed medications, I'm outta here the same day and you can f**king well cry all you want to your next lay in the pub. If you don't want me to leave you this is your only option. If you pull a tantrum during this period I'm gone too." Obviously you must carry out the ultimatum if she doesn't follow through.

It's decision time..and it has been for a while, hasn't it. These are your two choices..why you have put up with Ms Ding-Dong for so long is beyond me..