Boredom, Availability Lead To 2nd Thai Wives: Survey

[moetownblues]

I am so impressed with the members of ThaiVisa. The vast majority of the members are in the 15% of men who never cheated on their wife. That's got to be some sort of record. I bow to all of your high moral standards!

Yes and you forgot to mention that the vast majority are also walking around with thier penis still attached. I asked my wife why thai women choose farang men. She says that thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this.She refered to Thai men as butterfies and .

Are you being facetious? Do you really think that the other 85% get their members hacked off?

And whatever your wife thinks, that is perception, not reality. If she thinks western men don't run around with other women, then she is mistaken. Thai men do not have a monopoly on infidelity. (But she is not alone in this perception. I have heard it from many other Thai women before. Filipinas, Russian, and Japanese women tend to think that as well.)

For the record, I admit I am in the 85%. Oh, I never had a mia noi. Why would I want two wives? I think most men, and women, for that matter, stray for the excitement, for the newness of it. If I had a mia noi, where is the excitement of the "strange," as a buddy puts it? I've got a companion in a wife, a friend. I don't need the emotional involvement of anyone else. So when I give in to my urges, it is with a one-night stand with a woman looking for the same, or maybe a "happy ending" after a massage.

I pass no moral judgments. If someone has a mia noi, if someone has the occasional fling like I do, or someone remains monogamous, that is a personal choice. No one is right or wrong.

I just find it funny that so many male posters insist on coming online here to profess that they are in the 15%. Are their wives reading their posts? Face it, a high percentage to men living in Thailand are older, have already been married, and are divorced. Many come here because they are attracted to the availability of younger women. Nothing wrong with that. But while I have absolutely no hard data to back this up, it seems remarkable to me that out of this demographic group, a group who has had intimate relationships with others before, that so many profess to be absolutely monogamous. And not only that, but there seems to be a hint of a "holier-than-thou" flavor to their posts.

Once again, if all the posters here are monogamous, fine, No problem. If that floats your boat, so be it and I wish you well.

Yes I am sorry it was a little facetious but you must admit yours was a little also so we will call it even. I agree with what you are saying in this post and the excitment of the game maybe what makes some to stray. When I was a single man yes I had great fun with numerous ladies but after marrying the excitment mellowed. I love my wife very much and would never do anything to hurt her and if that means I am taking a morale ground to some people then so be it. My wife keeps the excitment going so no need to seek it elsewhere.

[mark45y]

When I married my wife 3 years ago, after knowing her for a year, I was 59, but most people who tried to guess my age, both Thai and Westerners, thought I was around 40-45. I'm 172cm and 68kg, which is the same weight I've been since I was 18. My wife was 49 at the time, but looked better than most women in their mid to late 20's and 30's. She's 148cm and 42kg, which is 2kg heavier than she was when we married. She has a fitness routine she does every morning for an hour to keep her weight down and figure looking GOOD!

However, shortly after we were married one of her friends came over and told me: "You know, in Thailand you can have more than one wife if you want." I laughed and told her 1 was enough. My first marriage lasted 28 years before my wife died of cancer, and never once did I stray. I hope this marriage lasts just as long, and while there is more than ample opportunity for me to do so, I have no desires to act on them when my beautiful, sexy, and very willing wife fulfills my every wish whenever I want, as much as I want.

Call me "weird" or whatever you want, but I'm in that group that believes that in you're in a committed relationship, then you put everything into it. IF, for some reason, it fails, THEN you end it and go searching. But you don't go out for hamburger when you have T-Bone, with all the trimmings, at home.

YOU are a CLASSIC and I applaud you. I also was in a 20 year relationship with my wife (who died) and NEVER thought about needing or requiring anyone but her. I am now in another relationship that I consider "Top-Notch" and I have no need to consider anyone else when I have a partner that fulfills my every desire. "Je Doff Mon Chapeau Mon Ami"

I am so impressed with the members of ThaiVisa. The vast majority of the members are in the 15% of men who never cheated on their wife. That's got to be some sort of record. I bow to all of your high moral standards!

Yes and you forgot to mention that the vast majority are also walking around with thier penis still attached. I asked my wife why thai women choose farang men. She says that thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this.She refered to Thai men as butterfies and .

Next to, “hello handsom man and where your go - I go with you.” “Thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this” is probably the most frequently heard and stereotypical comment made by Thai women.

I went to six bars last night and asked six bar girls, “why do you like Falang?” five times I heard, “Thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this.” the sixth lady was the only honest one and she smiled and said, “like big banana.”

You don't really believe, “Thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this.” do you? You were making a joke, right?

[luckizuchinni]

Yes I am sorry it was a little facetious but you must admit yours was a little also so we will call it even.

Point taken, and yes, I guess I was being facetious, so I am not sure why I came back to you with the same accusation. Mea culpa!

Edited December 9, 2010 by luckizuchinni

[Thai at Heart]

Yes and you forgot to mention that the vast majority are also walking around with thier penis still attached. I asked my wife why thai women choose farang men. She says that thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this.She refered to Thai men as butterfies and .

The issue is that as farangs we stand out like sore thumbs. I find the idea that a western man can successfully get away with having a mia noi for any extended period of time is ludicrous. He will get caught eventually. The amount of people who look at a farang/Thai marriage and wait faithfully lurking in the background to point out even the smallest indiscretion is quite amazing. Thailand has a whole network set up to allow Thai men to be filanderers, we as farangs have no such benefits.

I had a very funny thing happen to me once, when I was away travelling on business. A close relative of mine (who also works in Thailand) was visiting my wife and his girlfriend (now wife) was with him. They decided to take my kids to a local hotel to go swimming. A distant relative of my wife was in the hotel attending a meeting and looked out the window and noticed my kids, with a farang with blond hair and a woman who was not my wife. Two phone calls later my wife was being informed that I was at the hotel with my mia noi and my kids.

Aside from being impossible since I was in Europe on business, it wasn't that I felt that insulted or surprised to be accused of this (since it would simply satisfy that Thai female fatalistic understanding of men) but that I would be dumb enough to carry on with my mia noi with my kids in a hotel.

The reason that Thai men have mia nois is because society allows them to do so with relative impunity.

[mark45y]

Yes and you forgot to mention that the vast majority are also walking around with thier penis still attached. I asked my wife why thai women choose farang men. She says that thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this.She refered to Thai men as butterfies and .

The issue is that as farangs we stand out like sore thumbs. I find the idea that a western man can successfully get away with having a mia noi for any extended period of time is ludicrous. He will get caught eventually. The amount of people who look at a farang/Thai marriage and wait faithfully lurking in the background to point out even the smallest indiscretion is quite amazing. Thailand has a whole network set up to allow Thai men to be filanderers, we as farangs have no such benefits.

I had a very funny thing happen to me once, when I was away travelling on business. A close relative of mine (who also works in Thailand) was visiting my wife and his girlfriend (now wife) was with him. They decided to take my kids to a local hotel to go swimming. A distant relative of my wife was in the hotel attending a meeting and looked out the window and noticed my kids, with a farang with blond hair and a woman who was not my wife. Two phone calls later my wife was being informed that I was at the hotel with my mia noi and my kids.

Aside from being impossible since I was in Europe on business, it wasn't that I felt that insulted or surprised to be accused of this (since it would simply satisfy that Thai female fatalistic understanding of men) but that I would be dumb enough to carry on with my mia noi with my kids in a hotel.

The reason that Thai men have mia nois is because society allows them to do so with relative impunity.

You are correct. But there are enclaves of bars in remote areas outside of Falang residential and work locations that depend in large part for business on out of town guests. There are also love hotels that draw curtains around your parked car for privacy. There are go go clubs and other similar venues that are busiest around noon and the rush hour is over at 4PM. Some people think Falangs get their auto windows tinted because of the sun or police, 555.

There are also of course private rooms with private entrance around the ceiling (third story) of certain clubs so you can take your mia noi out to dinner and drinks (in private) with a rest area in the room in case you desire a nap after dinner.

[moetownblues]

Yes and you forgot to mention that the vast majority are also walking around with thier penis still attached. I asked my wife why thai women choose farang men. She says that thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this.She refered to Thai men as butterfies and .

The issue is that as farangs we stand out like sore thumbs. I find the idea that a western man can successfully get away with having a mia noi for any extended period of time is ludicrous. He will get caught eventually. The amount of people who look at a farang/Thai marriage and wait faithfully lurking in the background to point out even the smallest indiscretion is quite amazing. Thailand has a whole network set up to allow Thai men to be filanderers, we as farangs have no such benefits.

I had a very funny thing happen to me once, when I was away travelling on business. A close relative of mine (who also works in Thailand) was visiting my wife and his girlfriend (now wife) was with him. They decided to take my kids to a local hotel to go swimming. A distant relative of my wife was in the hotel attending a meeting and looked out the window and noticed my kids, with a farang with blond hair and a woman who was not my wife. Two phone calls later my wife was being informed that I was at the hotel with my mia noi and my kids.

Aside from being impossible since I was in Europe on business, it wasn't that I felt that insulted or surprised to be accused of this (since it would simply satisfy that Thai female fatalistic understanding of men) but that I would be dumb enough to carry on with my mia noi with my kids in a hotel.

The reason that Thai men have mia nois is because society allows them to do so with relative impunity.

You are correct. But there are enclaves of bars in remote areas outside of Falang residential and work locations that depend in large part for business on out of town guests. There are also love hotels that draw curtains around your parked car for privacy. There are go go clubs and other similar venues that are busiest around noon and the rush hour is over at 4PM. Some people think Falangs get their auto windows tinted because of the sun or police, 555.

There are also of course private rooms with private entrance around the ceiling (third story) of certain clubs so you can take your mia noi out to dinner and drinks (in private) with a rest area in the room in case you desire a nap after dinner.

Wow you seem quite the expert on these dingy, secluded little area, Do tell

[afarang]

Some , particularly in the wealthy Chinese Thai community have Mia Noi's for commercial reasons, strengthening business relationships.Some are for pleasure .All in this group are very well paid.Why do so many Thai ladies not want to have anything to do with Thai men? Many of these ladies have had a Thai husband, who was a wifebasher/ beater, an alcoholic and sometimes a gambler. And often has shot through , leaving behind kids.Where I live many have now a Farang "husband"and never want to have anything to do with Thai men.

[Bagwan]

I have heard it said that a Thai man can always have as many wives as he can afford

My understanding is that Rama 5 had 83 wives/concubines and that today's Thai hiso families are the descendants of all those unions. This view has been confirmed by intelligent and knowledgeable Thai people within my social circle. Imagine having 83 mothers in law!!!!!!

As a young man I was always on the 'recherche la femme' . A Navy doctor who was a friend said to me that I thought about women too much. I replied that I thought of nothing else.    

When my English wife and I agreed to divorce she told her solicitor that by her estimation I had banged 500 different women in our 14 years of marriage and she didn't want to hang around to see if I could get into the Guinness Book of Records. I wish - or maybe I don't. A gross over estimation anyway but I was flattered. Now, even though Thailand can be compared with a little boy's freedom in a sweet shop, I find that the love and attentions of my Thai wife of 9 years all that I could wish for. I would not stray because any pain that she might feel for my betrayal would be but a fraction of the pain I would feel for letting her down and causing her anguish. 

I feel that sexual tastes and one's appetite are a private matter and should not be a subject for judgment or possible reproach from anybody. To each their own.

[afarang]

As well as Thai men having Mia Nois, many wealthy Chinese Thai ladies also have their own"clubs",could I call them "gigolo clubs"?Where they can and do go for "entertainment" .

[mark45y]

As well as Thai men having Mia Nois, many wealthy Chinese Thai ladies also have their own"clubs",could I call them "gigolo clubs"?Where they can and do go for "entertainment" .

In this case hi so and lo so are pretty much the same. Pattaya ladies of the night also have clubs where they go after work. They make fun of the ladies who don't keep at least one Thai guy on the side.

I wandered into one late at night. Nice guys. They felt sorry for me because there were no women there interested in a Falang and the cashier called up his sister for me to have a drink with.

When I first got to Thailand I bought the argument that Thai ladies were just like ladies from anywhere else in the world.

Now I am older and I think wiser (maybe just jaded and cynical).

[dominique355]

I have heard it said that a Thai man can always have as many wives as he can afford

This is exactly the reason why this survey is a load of hogwash.

Morals or no morals it`s all down to how much you can afford that determines what sort of lifestyle we lead.

I mean, men lust for the women and the women crave for money. I am sure that if men had more available cash the percentages of outside marital affairs and those with regular mistresses would be jumping off the scale. Men enjoying the lustful pastimes and women married or single looking forward to raking in huge amounts of cash.

I bet most married men would welcome regular bits on the side if they could afford it and I guarantee they would not have any problems obtaining willing female co partners if the price was right and I`m not only talking about women of ill repute here.

It`s all down to money and not boredom or availability that determines the concluding results of a survey.

You seem to ignore women who just love sex and don't get enough form their "roll-on / roll-off" hubby or boyfriend and are looking for some more ... enthusiasm from their partner. Let's face it, many hubby or long term bf just neglect their girl and probably look for excitement elsewhere. I believe women have the same right. And where there is an offer, there is a demand. And that's not only about money.

Are mia nois necessarily unmarried? I don't have the facts and statistics, but I would believe many relationships are between 2 married people, but not married to each other.

[dominique355]

As well as Thai men having Mia Nois, many wealthy Chinese Thai ladies also have their own"clubs",could I call them "gigolo clubs"?Where they can and do go for "entertainment" .

Someone told me that this is called "nahm wahn" (sugar water).

[luckizuchinni]

I have heard it said that a Thai man can always have as many wives as he can afford

This is exactly the reason why this survey is a load of hogwash.

Morals or no morals it`s all down to how much you can afford that determines what sort of lifestyle we lead.

I mean, men lust for the women and the women crave for money. I am sure that if men had more available cash the percentages of outside marital affairs and those with regular mistresses would be jumping off the scale. Men enjoying the lustful pastimes and women married or single looking forward to raking in huge amounts of cash.

I bet most married men would welcome regular bits on the side if they could afford it and I guarantee they would not have any problems obtaining willing female co partners if the price was right and I`m not only talking about women of ill repute here.

It`s all down to money and not boredom or availability that determines the concluding results of a survey.

You seem to ignore women who just love sex and don't get enough form their "roll-on / roll-off" hubby or boyfriend and are looking for some more ... enthusiasm from their partner. Let's face it, many hubby or long term bf just neglect their girl and probably look for excitement elsewhere. I believe women have the same right. And where there is an offer, there is a demand. And that's not only about money.

Are mia nois necessarily unmarried? I don't have the facts and statistics, but I would believe many relationships are between 2 married people, but not married to each other.

Of course there are many women who only want sex for the gratification. But if both the man and woman in questions are married, I don't think that would fall under a mia noi relationship. I would call that a gik or just a plain affair. But maybe a Thai can answer that better.