Dating In Chiangmai...

[IanForbes]

Good post, Wolf. I agree entirely. But, just as i've mentioned many times, trying to meet the so called "Good girl" in a short time in a foreign country that doesn't speak the same language is VERY difficult. Unless you have connections you don't meet them unless you are ALREADY a player who knows his way around women and where to find them. But that obviously doesn't apply to the OP's Indian/Canadian friend. And, it's no different in Thailand than in any country. You can meet and date with hundreds of women before meeting one where the chemistry works for BOTH partners. I know several very attractive Thai women in their late twenties and early thirties who are still trying to find the right man. Unfortunately for them, they come from wealthy families and are not going to "settle" for some old sexpat 20 or 30 years their senior. There just aren't that many nice Thai men in their hierarchy of equally wealthy families.

[uptheos]

On a separate subject - a lot of attacking Thai women who can speak English to some fair degree. This is as prejudiced as the accusations placed on them for their (generalised) skin colour preference. Many Thai women learn English for their jobs. Many jobs demand English and are NOT in the sex trade! There are also a lot of Thai English teachers too!

True but one can tell in a heartbeat whether a girl learned her English in a bar or not.

I often meet guys with their wife or girlfriend, who tell the most remarkable story of how and where they met..................then she happens to speak.

Why don't people just say they met in a bar?

If they have a good relationship there's nothing wrong with it.

[ChiangMaiFun]

On a separate subject - a lot of attacking Thai women who can speak English to some fair degree. This is as prejudiced as the accusations placed on them for their (generalised) skin colour preference. Many Thai women learn English for their jobs. Many jobs demand English and are NOT in the sex trade! There are also a lot of Thai English teachers too!

True but one can tell in a heartbeat whether a girl learned her English in a bar or not.

I often meet guys with their wife or girlfriend, who tell the most remarkable story of how and where they met..................then she happens to speak.

Why don't people just say they met in a bar?

If they have a good relationship there's nothing wrong with it.

you can take the girl out of the bar - but never the bar out of the girl

[ianf]

There is a lot of cynicism around which I guess comes from the bottom of a bottle or two of Chang. But I remain full of hope and stick to the occasional Beer Leo.

I've had a couple of Thai wives/ the first was a from a 'good' and wealthy family. Problem is they were trying to palm her off because she was an embarrassment to the family and quite mad. I didn't spot it till too late.

The second: Highly educated money spender. Well educated. But decided married life was not for her and she left. She admitted to missing the comforts of life but we remain good friends and she demanded nothing from me.

Now, I have met a really nice Thai lady of the 'old' school valuing Thai customs and culture. Doesn't want money, no sex until we live together after her parents approve, self educated. 32 years younger than me and very loving and warm.

Part two of my post may appear within the next 7 years or not at all ....... (aaah cynicism creeping in ...)

Edited April 7, 2011 by ianf

[meithai]

Also sorry to rain on your parade, and not wishing to generlise but, "Good Thai Girl to marry with man of Indian decent/background "!!

I agree with previous poster - that is a very tough call.

Perhaps yuo and he have never heard the Thai proverb about 'the Snake and the Indian' ??

Anyway do wish him good luck for what he wants, but still very tough call culturally speaking.

What's the Thai proverb about 'the Snake and the Indian' ??

[wolf5370]

Also sorry to rain on your parade, and not wishing to generlise but, "Good Thai Girl to marry with man of Indian decent/background "!!

I agree with previous poster - that is a very tough call.

Perhaps yuo and he have never heard the Thai proverb about 'the Snake and the Indian' ??

Anyway do wish him good luck for what he wants, but still very tough call culturally speaking.

What's the Thai proverb about 'the Snake and the Indian' ??

I think he means joke rather than proverb (its a racist joke and not worth repeating - which was his point I guess).

[ChiangMaiFun]

There is a lot of cynicism around which I guess comes from the bottom of a bottle or two of Chang. But I remain full of hope and stick to the occasional Beer Leo.

I've had a couple of Thai wives/ the first was a from a 'good' and wealthy family. Problem is they were trying to palm her off because she was an embarrassment to the family and quite mad. I didn't spot it till too late.

The second: Highly educated money spender. Well educated. But decided married life was not for her and she left. She admitted to missing the comforts of life but we remain good friends and she demanded nothing from me.

Now, I have met a really nice Thai lady of the 'old' school valuing Thai customs and culture. Doesn't want money, no sex until we live together after her parents approve, self educated. 32 years younger than me and very loving and warm.

Part two of my post may appear within the next 7 years or not at all ....... (aaah cynicism creeping in ...)

why do it?

[cheshiregent]

sounds to me like the best thing you can do is talk him out of the whole thing just point him in the direction of a half decent looking bar girl slap him on the back say good luck

let her ride the life out of him job done

[Thakkar]

When you're in a country where you have a higher than average chance of meeting a gold-digger, where, because of cultural differences, relationships are more likely to fail, take the following attitude:

Choose a woman who is more like a drink of ice tea than a cigarette. You can drink ice tea every day for the rest of your life and never tire of it. But if ice tea were to suddenly disappear from your life tomorrow, you could live with that and move on. Don't choose a woman who is like a cigarette. Such women may seem glamorous at first glance, but they are bad for you, and hard to give up.

[orang37]

Sawasdee Khrup, TV CM Friends, and to Khun VSpin134's hopeful Canadian-Indian friend, his choice of "Namaste," "Namaskaram," or "Vanakkum",

Have to admit we experience this thread as "baffling:" why has this Canadian-Indian gentleman decided he specifically wishes a Thai bride ? Given what we know (from Indian friends we correspond with, both in India, and outside India), an expatriated Indian male, if he has a good job, and education, will be highly desired by families of Indian women (this statement not meant to imply, at all, that contemporary Indian women have no choice in the matter, but simply to recognize the continuing importance of approval of the family in India).

In fact a frequent social problem, often reported both within India, and abroad, are expatriated Indian males with good jobs and income, who come to India, select a bride (from the many whose families wish their daughters "upward mobility") with a large dowry, and then disappear, with the dowry, after the marriage. In other words, a specifically Indian "flavor" of the male cads, and predators, found in every culture.

ioho the desire to specifically marry someone of a certain culture/nationality, rather than a specific person who "embodies" your dreams, goals, who has qualities emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, that you value, and, of course, that you find attractive, and where her and his families may be "compatible," in the long run: seems ... strange.

However, and this may seem to contradict the above, we find the desire to find someone from a very different culture/background than one's own, completely understandable, and certainly a factor in the choice of our own last enslavement to a Divine Incarnation of "She Who Must Be Obeyed" (or, as H. Rider Haggard nicely summed up: "She" <later "She" re-appears in another Haggard book as: "Ayesha," which is the direct inspiration of the character of "Akasha" in Anne Rice's Vampire Opus>).

A second "something" we've directly experienced (not true of us, but we are not "seeking" at present) is a male or female who, because of direct experience, or whatever, definitely excludes certain types/nationalities, etc., from consideration of marriage. It's interesting to consider the hypothesis that: for many people "seeking" marriage what they "do not want" is more salient (more in the foreground, consciously) than what they "do want."

We have an American friend who came to Thailand last year and "richoted off" his quest to find and marry a Thai woman as if he were the crash-dummy in a test-vehicle being run against a crash-test-wall (yes, he is quite naive in spite of being forty-five); he is now emotionally "patched-up," and already "re-purposed," as matrimonial missile, on the Phillipines; and, has already found a bride-to-be, visited her twice, and "the game's afoot:" it will be very interesting to see how his Jewish background, and extended family, will, in the long run, mesh, play-out, live-out, with her strong committment to Catholicism and her very large extended (and poor) family. Of course, we wish them both complete happiness and fulfillment through and with each other ! Vive la Difference, and Vive le Difference !

But, we think, to really evaluate the Canadian-Indian seeker's "Quest," here: we'd need to know more about this Knight Errant's Quest for His Beloved: his age, existence of prior family and/or children, etc., maybe socio-economic status ? For this seeker, for all we know, perhaps his family's approval of bride-to-be is not at all a factor ? And, for all we know, for this seeker, he may have excluded India for definite personal reasons, or preferences.

But, why, now, has our Knight selected Amazing Thailand ?

best, ~o:37;

[Thakkar]

<snip>

Have to admit we experience this thread as "baffling:" why has this Canadian-Indian gentleman decided he specifically wishes a Thai bride ?

<snip>

A case of: Once you've gone Thai, all else is turd pie?

If so, the man is delusional. Maybe he is still enamored of is previous Thai squeeze and feels that another Thai will fit the bill where the previous one fell short. Perhaps he feels Thai women are interchangeable, like cogs in the wheel of his currently-stalled happiness.

A little quiet self examination now might prevent more heartache later. On the other hand, as DH Lawrence said, 'It doesn't matter whether your life is happy of not, as long as it is full.' So our protagonist could jump right in and savor the consequences, good or bad. He could end up strolling down the sunny side of the street or at the opposite side, singing Elton John's...

♫ it feels so good to hurt so bad...♫