10 Years After

[TAWP]

Made a trip to my embassy today to get a paper signed and saw several men of 'mediocre' quality with short plump girls (some young, some middle-age) in tow, often carrying and sorting/handling the papers...no lookers.

Not sure what the point is, but I guess the OP is happy getting someone to sleep next to and she was hopefully...also. But a looker is neither of them.

What is a "looker" ?

Someone that looks good, a stunner, an attractive [woman] etc.

[eefoo]

Furthermore he hit the nail on the head when he said their are no pearls to be found in the bg scene. Such plain and obvious wisdom that so many ignore.

No pearls in the bar..pearl necklaces maybe, but pearls no.

Pearls are there to be found. Some even more precious. Just coming up to our 20th wedding anniversary, mine's a diamond.

You just have to find the right one .......

[PaulUSA302]

You don't talk about how you won the race when the only thing you have done so far is put on your racing shoes and get in the starting position.

Anyway, good luck!

[pjclark1]

The woman didn't HAVE to leave her children, unless she put money before her children. Pretty rare in the West, but common here.

It was down to the FATHER to pay for their childrens' education etc. - not the poster, who gave his wife the chance to earn (comparatively) good money in a foreign country, with a windfall payout once he dies.

If only more farangs were as sensible we wouldn't keep hearing the horror stories....

He was lucky enough to find a wife that was prepared to accept having no word in decision-making, knowing that she was far better-off than she would be otherwise and will 'win' in the end....

Sorry F1 but if you are not married to a Thai lady, you cannot have children with her. They are her children and hers alone and considered not to have a father.

This is totally fair as the woman has made the choice to have those children.

The children belong to the man that marries the woman, and the OP should have been prepared to look after them.

The OP was wrong not to look after her children IMHO.

By the way F1, if you found another guy to marry and he said great, but your two daughters can live somewhere else, would that be OK?

Edited January 13, 2011 by pjclark1

[bunnaag]

Being the OP, I would like to state: "the walking man, F1 fanatic, Felt 35 & Chdiver" have gotten the drift of my post. A few things I would like to add:

- I lived with my wife over 1 year in Thailand before marriage.

- That she would financially support her kids and pay her share for living expenses was agreed upon before marriage. (Btw: both daughters have now their University-Degree.) The "real" Daddy (a Police-Officer) never paid a single Dime for his daughters.

- No, I never paid any "Sin-Sod". No Thai-man would consider paying sin-sod for a previously married woman. So why should a "Farang" ??

- From the beginning I wanted to make sure that I would not have to join the club of Faragns that (while crying in their pretzels) muttering something like "I made the mistake of my life and how am I gonna get out of this without losing my shirt" (if not already lost).

- As to the modest life-style we are considering in Thailand: We like it that way. We like Rural-Thai-Living. To live in a Condo in a Tourist-Hub simply does not appeal to us.

- We had a good 10 years together. That we agreed on a mutual pathway (including finances and this before marriage) was definitely a contributing factor to this little success-story.

Cheers.

PS: Don't get me wrong. I have nothing personal against Farangs, that are willing to put up half of their assets and basically their future well-beeing to marry their 3-month Bar-Aquaintance. What irritates me ist just the whining around afterwards: "How could she do this to me, since I have given her everything !!!????!!!"

Not an unfair comment.

She was desperate and had to agree to these conditions.He got himself the perfect slave.

and you know all this from a post of around 100 words? you have a gift indeed.

working 10 hours in a bakery probably having to do the house work cooking doing the laundry serving him at night.Do you think she agreed to all this because she loves him.

[Thailaw]

working 10 hours in a bakery probably having to do the house work cooking doing the laundry serving him at night.Do you think she agreed to all this because she loves him.

Good point. I wonder (doubt that) the OP "kee neow" did half of the cooking, cleaning, laundry and other household chores, although he was very willing to take money from her for half of the living expenses and leave her to care for her children. But "we agreed on a mutual pathway (including finances and this before marriage) was definitely a contributing factor to this little success-story." Agreed? Yah, right -- its my way or the highway, so you better "agree". A "success story" should be a success for both people in the story. This one sounds totally one sided to me......and not one that any woman (from many country) would voluntarily agree to.

[JurgenG]

working 10 hours in a bakery probably having to do the house work cooking doing the laundry serving him at night.Do you think she agreed to all this because she loves him.

Where did you get she has to work 10 hours (I guess a day) in a bakery ?

No wonder you got so many angry replies

"Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius" Fulton J. Sheen

hmmm... the stingy Swissie is a genius and those who disapprove of his deplorable behaviour are jealous?

And your explanation is ???

[Felt 35]

ok, let me see if I understand your post correctly -- what the OP has done with his Thai wife is "the basis on any other Swiss on Swiss marriage. I.e. both contribute in the marriage". So, according to you, a Swiss man meets and marries a divorced Swiss woman with children from a previous relationship, and she will move in with him and boot her children off to relatives. They (Swiss husband and wife) will both work, but she will give enough of her earnings to her scumbag husband to pay half of their living expenses and then send enough (the rest) to the relatives keeping her kids to pay for their support. At the end of ten years, she has "0" saved, and he has enough to keep in Swiss banks and spend squat (not because they "agreed", but because he is a "kee neow") on some land and a shack in Thailand. Is that how it works? I really think (actually, I am sure) it is not. I think it would go more like this: A Swiss man meets and marries a divorced Swiss woman with children from a previous relationship, She will move in with him along with her children and they will live as a family. The Swiss husband and wife will both work, and they will each share the living expenses of the family, including her (their) children (and their education), perhaps 50/50 or perhaps in a more equitable manner depending on their relative earnings. At the end of ten years, she will have saved "x" and he will have saved "y", and her "x" would probably be enough to buy a small parcel of land and build a house -- she would not have to beg him for it or accept what ever he is willing to dole out. Had the OP written the second version, I would have applauded him and said that both he and his wife are and got pearls. However, in the OP's story, he got a pearl but his wife got a lump of "kee".

......There are laws in Western Europe and her ex will after the law in Switzerland and in at least 20 other Western European countries make sure he (the ex) will have to contribute monthly to the children...trying to avoid this duty can involve a very high penalty and or prison...

... a divorced couple in Western Europe chare the rights to have the children after a divorce and the children usually spend half of the time with each parents i.e. one parents have the child in the week the other have them in the weekend..... ... A stepfather or stepmother has no juridical rights over their stepchildren and no financial duties for their stepchildren unless they adopt them. That families move together and live together are their personal choice but as history show to be a stepparent or stepchild is often a difficult situation and far from optimal for any part .

Ppbringing of children in Western Europe are supported by the Governments all the way, Kindergartens are either free or available for a fee which is subsided from Governments...schools are free and the biological parents receive a children pension for each child until they are 18 years old.......

.....relatives are very little involved in taking care of children in Western Europe. However most Grandparents want to share some time with their grandchildren and are often being babysitters when the parents have a weekend break etc,

.....if she is clever with money she has probably saved some cash but usually they send what they can back to Thailand. But she has gained a much higher valued right than savings. She have gained rights to the (AVS)Swiss obligatory individual pension system and also eventually a spouse pension because she have been married with the Swiss more than five years and on top of that was so smart that she worked while in Switzerland which will make the pension even higher......

....I really wonder what is so bad with how the Swiss/ Thai couple lived abroad...thousand of foreigners who move abroad with their spouse for some years or forever live and work just as the Swiss/Thai couple. This woman is safe. They not only get the opportunity to make money for them self and the extended family in Thailand, but they get a security net through their rights to pensions which not in any way can be compared to the peanuts a foreigner can hand out from his personal finances.....

Was someone speaking here about jealousy?

[JurgenG]

Precisely. His wife worked to help support her children - wow, how cheap could he be?

He offered her a life in a country where she was able to earn 'good' money - not something to be taken lightly in Thailand.

They were BOTH lucky, he found a wife that he would not find in his home country and she found a husband that gave her the opportunity that she would never have with a Thai husband in her sphere.

Just before New Year I went to the mall in Korat, I also visited Do Home in Chok Chai and Lotus in Pak Tong Chai. Never seen so many falangs, but what a freak show ! I won't comment any further but if the OP is an honest, decent, average looking guy, he doesn't drink and as you say, offered her a new life with good opportunities in one of Europe best country, she sure should feel she had hit the jackpot !

Sorry, Naam, jealousy, can't find a better explanation

[Thailaw]

......There are laws in Western Europe and her ex will after the law in Switzerland and in at least 20 other Western European countries make sure he (the ex) will have to contribute monthly to the children...trying to avoid this duty can involve a very high penalty and or prison...

... a divorced couple in Western Europe chare the rights to have the children after a divorce and the children usually spend half of the time with each parents i.e. one parents have the child in the week the other have them in the weekend..... ... A stepfather or stepmother has no juridical rights over their stepchildren and no financial duties for their stepchildren unless they adopt them. That families move together and live together are their personal choice but as history show to be a stepparent or stepchild is often a difficult situation and far from optimal for any part .

Ppbringing of children in Western Europe are supported by the Governments all the way, Kindergartens are either free or available for a fee which is subsided from Governments...schools are free and the biological parents receive a children pension for each child until they are 18 years old.......

.....relatives are very little involved in taking care of children in Western Europe. However most Grandparents want to share some time with their grandchildren and are often being babysitters when the parents have a weekend break etc,

.....if she is clever with money she has probably saved some cash but usually they send what they can back to Thailand. But she has gained a much higher valued right than savings. She have gained rights to the (AVS)Swiss obligatory individual pension system and also eventually a spouse pension because she have been married with the Swiss more than five years and on top of that was so smart that she worked while in Switzerland which will make the pension even higher......

....I really wonder what is so bad with how the Swiss/ Thai couple lived abroad...thousand of foreigners who move abroad with their spouse for some years or forever live and work just as the Swiss/Thai couple. This woman is safe. They not only get the opportunity to make money for them self and the extended family in Thailand, but they get a security net through their rights to pensions which not in any way can be compared to the peanuts a foreigner can hand out from his personal finances.....

Was someone speaking here about jealousy?

Thankfully the Swiss government has a conscience and will make up for some of the injustices imposed by the OP on his wife. Not sure what the comment on "jealousy" was intended to suggest, but if you think I am in any way "jealous" of the OP or what he has gotten himself into, you are about as off base as could be possible. If I was the OP I could not sleep at night for the guilt, shame and embarrassment I would feel, and I would live in fear of the clubbing I might receive from the people observing my behavior (a clubbing I would deserve). And to think that this story is repeated as a "success" frankly sickens me, as it should the other readers and posters of this thread. Thai women are abused by lonely, sick western men in many ways because they are vulnerable and must accept abuse due to their financial situation -- this story is an example of such abuse, and it is shameful. Thankfully, western governments limiti the extent to which a man can bring an Asian woman to his country and abuse her -- there is some modicum of justice in this world....

[Naam]

working 10 hours in a bakery probably having to do the house work cooking doing the laundry serving him at night.Do you think she agreed to all this because she loves him.

Where did you get she has to work 10 hours (I guess a day) in a bakery ?

No wonder you got so many angry replies

"Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius" Fulton J. Sheen

hmmm... the stingy Swissie is a genius and those who disapprove of his deplorable behaviour are jealous?

And your explanation is ???

i think both my comments are quite clear and do not require any explanation.

one was the biblical quote Matthew 7:6 "pearls before swine", the other one was "deplorable behaviour".

[bunnaag]

@JurgenG

Tthe OP mentioned in the first post that she is working 10 hours a day in the bakery,Read carefully.

@nucturn

you dont have to be Nostradamus to see that a mother only will leave her children to go to another country if she is desperate because otherwise she could not feed and pay for their education.

[Felt 35]

@JurgenG

Tthe OP mentioned in the first post that she is working 10 hours a day in the bakery,Read carefully.

@nucturn

you dont have to be Nostradamus to see that a mother only will leave her children to go to another country if she is desperate because otherwise she could not feed and pay for their education.

If she was finacially desperate she absolutely did the right move with following here husband to Switzerland.

[Felt 35]

injustices

Well some will always see it as injustice to work. Usually they never get the opportunity the woman in this case got just because of that.

[JurgenG]

@JurgenG

Tthe OP mentioned in the first post that she is working 10 hours a day in the bakery,Read carefully.

Apologizes, you're right.

Doesn't change anything of what I said elsewhere, but here you're right.

[JurgenG]

Question to the O.P. : Is it your own bakery ?

I know in traditional bakery in Europe is not unusual to start working at 4:00 am. It's not an easy job, that's for sure.

[elektrified]

What a load of B.S

Why should the OP help out with anything for her Kids ? They are nothing to do with him and he doesnt have to do anything . I would never help raise some elses kids ( unless they were related to me by blood ) . I have a kid and i would never expect anyone else to provide for them.

As for understanding Thailand he doesnt need to he lives in Europe.

I am willing to guess you support your wifes family.. all her ' brothers ' her sisters Mum Dad and the whole village... wake up not everyone is that scared of losing there woman that they have to pay to keep her. If the OPs Wife doesnt like what she has , she knows there the door is.

Edited January 14, 2011 by elektrified

[LazarusEffect]

Furthermore he hit the nail on the head when he said their are no pearls to be found in the bg scene. Such plain and obvious wisdom that so many ignore.

No pearls in the bar..pearl necklaces maybe, but pearls no.

Pearls are there to be found. Some even more precious. Just coming up to our 20th wedding anniversary, mine's a diamond.

You just have to find the right one .......

Thats like saying that their are pearls to be found in the sewer, on the off chance that someone dropped their pearl ring down the sink drain by accident. Even should you find this ring, you'll both be covered with filth. And while you can certainly wash it off and clean your self up, there will always be the memory of where you found it.

Actually wifeing a BG is worse. A perfectly good and well loved ring could be dropped in the sink by accident.

A BG chooses that life.

As a man with choices, why not have more respect for yourself than to look for a wife in a hooker? Especially here were so many good women are to be found that haven't sold themselves to anyone with a few bucks to spare?

[TAWP]

Actually...not to be a downer, yes, if you are talking about the semi-attractive or regularly cute, than there is loads of them out there that haven't sold themselves. When it comes to the real attractive ones that also would be open to interacting with a foreigner...you would be hard-pressed to ever find anyone that is pure as snow...even if that only includes sleeping with a guy and then asking him for a loan the next morning and never pay it back...

[LazarusEffect]

Actually...not to be a downer, yes, if you are talking about the semi-attractive or regularly cute, than there is loads of them out there that haven't sold themselves. When it comes to the real attractive ones that also would be open to interacting with a foreigner...you would be hard-pressed to ever find anyone that is pure as snow...even if that only includes sleeping with a guy and then asking him for a loan the next morning and never pay it back...

No more or less than any other country, and if your not the kind to marry a whore from your own country why do so here?

Are you saying that That attractive Thai women are more prone to prostitution than any other nationality?

And to be perfectly honest attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. Agreed in the 10 years I have been here, the majority of white/Thai couples include a Thai, that whom Thai members of the opposite sex, would not consider particularly attractive. Heck I don't particularly think half, no, honestly, like 80% of the Thai women my white friends have married are attractive. But that being said I didn't have any problems finding a great Thai women who I find attractive, to marry.

So that whole "real attractive women don't want foreigners" line is tired and full of crap. It's more about where we set our sites.

And more often then not we do so far too low for our own good.

[TAWP]

Actually...not to be a downer, yes, if you are talking about the semi-attractive or regularly cute, than there is loads of them out there that haven't sold themselves. When it comes to the real attractive ones that also would be open to interacting with a foreigner...you would be hard-pressed to ever find anyone that is pure as snow...even if that only includes sleeping with a guy and then asking him for a loan the next morning and never pay it back...

No more or less than any other country, and if your not the kind to marry a whore from your own country why do so here?

Are you saying that That attractive Thai women are more prone to prostitution than any other nationality?

And to be perfectly honest attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. Agreed in the 10 years I have been here, the majority of white/Thai couples include a Thai, that whom Thai members of the opposite sex, would not consider particularly attractive. Heck I don't particularly think half, no, honestly, like 80% of the Thai women my white friends have married are attractive. But that being said I didn't have any problems finding a great Thai women who I find attractive, to marry.

So that whole "real attractive women don't want foreigners" line is tired and full of crap. It's more about where we set our sites.

And more often then not we do so far too low for our own good.

Your line "Are you saying that That attractive Thai women are more prone to prostitution than any other nationality?" is flawed, as the answer is 'no'.

What I wrote was that amongst women that will accept a foreigner as a partner the ratio is by far higher than amongst normal Thai or 'western' women - amongst the good looking.

And you mention that 80% of your friends have married 'no attractive' women. That is my finding too. Hence I understand that some men say that it is easy to find 'women' (including unattractive) that would not be part or the trade, freelancing, had multiple partners or something else that might 'upset' some of you. However, amongst the attractive, this ratio is much much higher. I.e. so much harder/less likely.

And the best part, in most cases those that find 'good ones' will never know that they wasn't/aren't.

Edited January 14, 2011 by TAWP

[cobra]

.... No Farang Brick/Concrete/Fortress/Bunker Mansion ...

Bunker Mansions, I like it,

Note to self: Have meeting with development group,

Edited January 14, 2011 by cobra

[MAJIC]

Sounds like you really found an absolute Gem there, Swissie!

Edited January 14, 2011 by MAJIC

[Thailaw]

injustices

Well some will always see it as injustice to work. Usually they never get the opportunity the woman in this case got just because of that.

No one replying to the original post has suggested that requiring that the wife "work" is an "injustice". If there are no children in the home (and the OP has solved that problem by banishing them to Thailand while he hauls their mother to Europe), then work is normal and appropriate for a wife (working 10 hours a day is, however, over the top -- does he ever want to see her other than in bed? Maybe that was another aspect of the "success" of their relationship). But bringing a woman to your home country and away from hers, forcing/requiring her to work (I am sure that the OP will say she "wanted" or "agreed" to work) and then sucking her dry is an "injustice" -- after ten years of work she doesn't have a pot to piss in, and the OP is going to shell out a few thousand Euros of HIS money (which he was able to accumulate from her sweat) under his terms and conditions for a shack back in Thailand. And during the last 10 years she contributed one half to "their" living expenses, but he didn't contribute one satang to "her" financial responsibilities to "her" (should be "their") children. Read my lips -- "injustice", big time.......

[glomp]

There is no pleasing this forum. If he posted he paid for his wife 100% for 10 years he would be labeled scum keeper of "maid wife" or being an idiot for getting "screwed" out of all that cash.

Now that he posts about having a lady that works for her cash he is a horrible man that doesnt keep the lady at home not working.

there is no pleasing some people

[Felt 35]

No one replying to the original post has suggested that requiring....the Governments in Western Europe expect anyone (unless disabled) under the age of 55 year to be able to work and in that way contribute to the welfare state and to their own families.... that the wife "work" is an "injustice". If there are no children in the home (and the OP has solved that problem by banishing them to Thailand while he hauls their mother to Europe)......it is not the children to the OP and he cannot decide where his wife’s children shall be located.....then work is normal and appropriate for a wife (working 10 hours a day is, however, over the top --.....if his wife worked 10 hours days in Switzerland she is taking on overtime work the daily working hours are regulated by law and is 7,5 hours daily five days a week.... does he ever want to see her other than in bed? Maybe that was another aspect of the "success" of their relationship). But bringing a woman to your home country and away from hers, forcing/requiring her to work..... The only one forcing Asian people to work in Europe are the Asians them self with underground networks and brothels.....Asian women in general including Thais, Filipinos, Chinese and Vietnamese women are very interested to work( and very clever and popular employees most over Western Europe) where the income often are 10 -15 times higher pr hour than in Asia and with that the possibility to improve the life for their families back in Asia.....(I am sure that the OP will say she "wanted" or "agreed" to work) and then sucking her .....why should he need that?... dry is an "injustice" -- after ten years of work she doesn't have a pot to piss in,....you have already got a explanation ...and she will have more than most women married to a foreigner..... and the OP is going to shell out a few thousand Euros of HIS money (which he was able to accumulate from her sweat) under his terms and conditions for a shack back in Thailand......I believe that shack will be quite good especially if the Swiss shall spend time there ... And during the last 10 years she contributed one half to "their" living expenses, but he didn't contribute one satang to "her" financial responsibilities to "her" (should be "their") children. ...again it’s not his children....marry women not mean to open a charity organization to care for her previous family and take over the responsibilities for her and her ex.... Read my lips -- "injustice", big time.......if you caracterize the Thai- Swiss couple as a marriage with injustice...start to study the local marriage Thai on Thai

[pjclark1]

Are you saying that That attractive Thai women are more prone to prostitution than any other nationality?

Thailand has a different morality and way of thinking to the west. You are trying to impose your world view on a totally different society.

If you were to strictly apply the western views on such matters to Thai women married to foreign men,

Then I would have to say, I have not yet been introduced to a white mans wife who I could not fit into your definition.

My problem is too many wives fall into my definition and so I actually actively try to avoid any contact with white mens wives (especially friends), what I don't know, I don't have to judge.

And I'm definitely not claiming all Thai girls are/were on the game.

By the way

I understand in the USA on divorce a lady may now claim child support for children she had by another man before the marriage.

@Felt

In Europe (certainly the UK) a man has no right to see or have any contact with his children. If the former wife wants to play the game she can get payment from him, never have to work herself again, and all he gets is 1 hour supervised contact a week, and then only if she chooses to stay living in the same area.

Edited January 15, 2011 by pjclark1

[old wanderer]

Reading all these post really disgust me. I have been married to my Thai wife for 15 years.

Why does a person want a "wife". Maybe I am a romantic, but in my world it is to "share" love.

All the majority of people post about is MONEY!

The best discussion of love I ever heard was a definition of: Love is a condition where the other persons happiness is essential to your own. And this is the way it turns out for us. Both of fully realize that we would not be near as happy as independent individuals as we are together.

We are certainly not poor, nor exceeding rich. However each has dreams and desires of what we want. We simply discuss them, make a plan, come to an agreement, and work together to achieve each one. My wife has her own money, as do I. She owns a lot of land in Thailand, and a few businesses. I have my work in the USA, and fall into the upper 10% tax bracket. I am sure she would live quite comfortably without me in Thailand, however when WE decided to buy some more land, buy equipment, or build another house, once the decision is made, we are honest with each other about what we can contribute, and go and do it. It has not been uncommon for her to contribute more to the price than me.

It has been more than 10 years since we even had a serious argument. What we have in abundance is trust and friendship.

I would have never expected to end up married and happy 17 years ago, when I met this young lady sitting at a table near me, with 2 of her employees from a sewing company she owned, trying to help translate my poor Thai to the waitress as I was ordering some lunch. She could probably manage 20 words in English (but speaks 3 other local languages). The not so typical Issan girl with 4 years of school, that did not want to be anywhere near a Thai man (father was an alcoholic) so set out to build a little company in Bangkok.

17 years ago, I was a confirmed playboy, that loved to come to Thailand every 3 months and enjoy the pleasures. Now I am monogamous, and certainly do not regret it.

So for the OP, you might be proud of protecting your money, but what have you done about truly enjoying life, and see someone Else's joy at seeing there dreams come true.

[govoner]

congratulations to swissee

there are too many weak and gullible farangs being manipulated by their wives/ girlfriends in thailand

he has told her the deal up front, she accepted it ,and stuck with it.

i think a lot of guys posting here are jealous, they have probably paid out big $ in sin sod etc

and are now starting to see how stupid they have been.

good luck to him , he is a lot stronger mentally than many posters here

[Thailaw]

Reading all these post really disgust me. I have been married to my Thai wife for 15 years.

Why does a person want a "wife". Maybe I am a romantic, but in my world it is to "share" love.

All the majority of people post about is MONEY!

The best discussion of love I ever heard was a definition of: Love is a condition where the other persons happiness is essential to your own. And this is the way it turns out for us. Both of fully realize that we would not be near as happy as independent individuals as we are together.

We are certainly not poor, nor exceeding rich. However each has dreams and desires of what we want. We simply discuss them, make a plan, come to an agreement, and work together to achieve each one. My wife has her own money, as do I. She owns a lot of land in Thailand, and a few businesses. I have my work in the USA, and fall into the upper 10% tax bracket. I am sure she would live quite comfortably without me in Thailand, however when WE decided to buy some more land, buy equipment, or build another house, once the decision is made, we are honest with each other about what we can contribute, and go and do it. It has not been uncommon for her to contribute more to the price than me.

It has been more than 10 years since we even had a serious argument. What we have in abundance is trust and friendship.

I would have never expected to end up married and happy 17 years ago, when I met this young lady sitting at a table near me, with 2 of her employees from a sewing company she owned, trying to help translate my poor Thai to the waitress as I was ordering some lunch. She could probably manage 20 words in English (but speaks 3 other local languages). The not so typical Issan girl with 4 years of school, that did not want to be anywhere near a Thai man (father was an alcoholic) so set out to build a little company in Bangkok.

17 years ago, I was a confirmed playboy, that loved to come to Thailand every 3 months and enjoy the pleasures. Now I am monogamous, and certainly do not regret it.

So for the OP, you might be proud of protecting your money, but what have you done about truly enjoying life, and see someone Else's joy at seeing there dreams come true.

Good post -- your's is the true success story -- I wish you had written the original post and saved us all much angst. I see two "pearls" in your story, not one pearl saddled with a pile of "kee". I agree with your definition of "love" -- the OP may have a wife but he is totally alone; he is just a pathetic, miserable old man, who has not for one instant thought (or cared) about the happiness or emotional well being of his wife, and he will continue to wallow in that misery till the end -- a just reward for his behavior.