10 Years After

[swissie]

About 10 years ago I married my Thai- Wife in Thailand but we lived the last 9 1/2 years in Switzerland. Before marriage, I told her that I am basically "a Kiniau" and would never make any significant investments in Thailand.

- She worked here all the time and managed to put her 2 daughters from her previous marriage through university. I never paid a dime for the daughters in Thailand. During all this time she also insisted to pay 50 % of our monthly expenses. (She works in a Bakery, 10 hours a day).

Since I am going to retire someday soon, I offered (the Kiniau) to buy 1 Rai of land for no more than 120'000 Bht wherever she wants. Plus would I be willing to put up another 150'000 Bht for a "Sala-Thai" Building. (No Farang Brick/Concrete/Fortress/Bunker Mansion). All other assets would remain in Switzerland. She said: Thank you, it's what I want same,same.

And the moral of the story: Among the 30 Million of female Thai citizens, pearls among the rough can be found.

= BUT NOT AMONG THE LADIES THAT SERVE DRINKS (and other things) to Farangs in Farang-Hubs. Period.

This short story should encourage "pearl-seekers". The recepie: Search outside of the "tourist-hubs" and related businesses, and above all: Learn the basics of the Thai-Language. Unfortunately, all this can not be achieved within a 2 week holiday.

Cheers.

[roamer]

Think you will find a few folk arguing that you can still find pearls amongst the bg scene, I'm sure there are. But I also think the pearls are few and far between so I would agree with you on that point.

[473geo]

Your wife followed your lead........you were not led by her.......there you have it.......

[ExpatJ]

Yes, you are kee niow, congratulations. I cant help but feel abit sorry for your wife truth be told.

[slapout]

If the lady stuck 10 years with the op, outside the country, worked and paid for prior transgressions of a probable run away father/husband, doubt that she would ask for nor accept sympathy. Lots of places to direct your sympathy locally as she is apparently a long plane ride off.

[daveyravey]

So after 10 years of marraige to a skingy guy who didnt have the decency to even help her out with her kids, who incidently you left in Thailand

you offer her about 5000 Euros.

Deep inside she resents you buster! thats for sure.

Oh and a message to you you sanctimonious tip of a needle............

Wherever a girl comes from or what she has done to survive dont relate

to the quality of person she is and there are many ex-bargirls that i know of

that make beautiful wives and partners , and many even care for their

husbands kids from a previous marraige(UNLIKE YOU)!!

You understand little of Thailand so better you keep your assets

in Swiss..... even better, stay there yourself Richard Head!

[Soutpeel]

Yes, you are kee niow, congratulations. I cant help but feel abit sorry for your wife truth be told.

She is most likely a very patient type lady, who is biding her time and putting up with this, as the insurance policy is upto date, and all assets would be her name anyway as one would guess she is significantly younger than her very generous husband and just she just waiting for him to take his final trip to the Alps in the sky...

[JurgenG]

Congratulation to the OP.

I agree with you, invest a little bit in Thailand, a small place you can call yours for the holidays but if you're happy in Switzerland, stay there.

If you want to know what Thailand do to people, just read the bitter comments above.

I was like you, happy abroad. I never thought that two years here can change me so much. The problem is for Thai, family (their) comes always first. So you just need a few jealous, greedy relatives to make your life a hell. And my gf was not a bargirl either.

Switzerland is nice.

[manarak]

Swissie:

Since I am going to retire someday soon, I offered (the Kiniau) to buy 1 Rai of land for no more than 120'000 Bht wherever she wants. Plus would I be willing to put up another 150'000 Bht for a "Sala-Thai" Building. (No Farang Brick/Concrete/Fortress/Bunker Mansion). All other assets would remain in Switzerland. She said: Thank you, it's what I want same,same.

You want to put up 2 months of Swiss average monthly wage for your retirement housing??

Do you want to live there too?

*scratch head*

Maybe you enjoyed yourself too much before, so that you now want a pause of all the luxury?

Or what's your reason for wanting to live in such low standard housing?

[kcore]

So after 10 years of marraige to a skingy guy who didnt have the decency to even help her out with her kids, who incidently you left in Thailand

you offer her about 5000 Euros.

Deep inside she resents you buster! thats for sure.

Oh and a message to you you sanctimonious tip of a needle............

Wherever a girl comes from or what she has done to survive dont relate

to the quality of person she is and there are many ex-bargirls that i know of

that make beautiful wives and partners , and many even care for their

husbands kids from a previous marraige(UNLIKE YOU)!!

You understand little of Thailand so better you keep your assets

in Swiss..... even better, stay there yourself Richard Head!

Well said!

[MrsMills]

Personally, I think it's much more difficult for a Thai woman to find a decent farang amongst the millions of farangs that choose to come to Thailand.

Most come here for sea sun and sex, pure self gratification, try finding a diamond amongst that lot !

From what I see in Thai/Farang relationships, the Thai women usually ends up with someone she would rather not be with and is only with him because she's poor, and he gets a slave and kids himself that she loves him for what he is, not for what he has.

Though I'm sure you fine posters here are different.

[nocturn]

i cant see why a successful marriage with a working partner rates a post.

[CWMcMurray]

Yes, you are kee niow, congratulations. I cant help but feel abit sorry for your wife truth be told.

She is most likely a very patient type lady, who is biding her time and putting up with this, as the insurance policy is upto date, and all assets would be her name anyway as one would guess she is significantly younger than her very generous husband and just she just waiting for him to take his final trip to the Alps in the sky...

This reminds of a lecture given in my Thai History Class at University. The professor was a Thai women with a PHD....

We were discussing one of the Famous Politicians from the 70's or 80's (can't remember the name anymore) and it came out that this person had a lot of minor wives and that it seems that he was very open about this and it was out in the "public". One of the female students made a comment about feeling sorry for his wife.

The professor then made a comment that really blew my mind at the time (only been in Thailand a few months and considering that the speaker was a well educated and well off female university professor)

She then directed a comment "to all of the girls in the class" (please also note that almost all of the girls at this university are from very well of families)....

"Girls... Many of you will end up marrying men who are much older than yourself and many of them will have Mia Noi and girlfriends on the side. Do not let it bother you and do not make a scene, after all they will die much earlier than you and then you will inherit all of their money"

... This was said with a straight face and the professor was completely serious.

[yermanee]

Personally, I think it's much more difficult for a Thai woman to find a decent farang amongst the millions of farangs that choose to come to Thailand.

Most come here for sea sun and sex, pure self gratification, try finding a diamond amongst that lot !

From what I see in Thai/Farang relationships, the Thai women usually ends up with someone she would rather not be with and is only with him because she's poor, and he gets a slave and kids himself that she loves him for what he is, not for what he has.

Though I'm sure you fine posters here are different.

Spot on, except your last sentence.

In the community where I live their are many, many decent Thai wives who have to put up with less than faithful drunks farang husbands.

Yermanee

[cdnvic]

Troll caller and replies deleted.

[Thailaw]

I am not sure why you think that someone is a "pearl" just because she is willing (or believes that she has no choice but) to put up with the behavior of a cheap, insensitive, uncaring bastard -- you didn't marry a woman, you acquired a mule. I can only feel sympathy for her (and the children she left back in Thailand, who will be totally justified in treating you with scorn if and when you and their mother return to Thailand). Drop the "neow", "kee" is a more than adequate description....... The party at your funeral (hopefully, she is a lot younger than you) will go on for a week. And what ever is in (or not in) the hearts of "the ladies that serve drinks (and other things) to farangs", it is far more than what is in yours (actually, to even assume you have one is a push).

"Cheers".

[bunnaag]

I am sure you do not look in the mirror when you shave in the morning.Are you proud of yourself the way you treat your wife?How desperate she must have been to marry somebody like you.She even paid 50% of the household expenses.What a hero.

[ableguy]

Yes, you are kee niow, congratulations. I cant help but feel abit sorry for your wife truth be told.

yeah what a cheap skate.

[Soutpeel]

I am not sure why you think that someone is a "pearl" just because she is willing (or believes that she has no choice but) to put up with the behavior of a cheap, insensitive, uncaring bastard -- you didn't marry a woman, you acquired a mule. I can only feel sympathy for her (and the children she left back in Thailand, who will be totally justified in treating you with scorn if and when you and their mother return to Thailand). Drop the "neow", "kee" is a more than adequate description....... The party at your funeral (hopefully, she is a lot younger than you) will go on for a week. And what ever is in (or not in) the hearts of "the ladies that serve drinks (and other things) to farangs", it is far more than what is in yours (actually, to even assume you have one is a push).

"Cheers".

I wonder if he paid Sin Sot ??.....

[Thailaw]

I wonder if he paid Sin Sot ??.....

If he did, I am sure that he made his wife pay him back, with interest.

[dansat]

So after 10 years of marraige to a skingy guy who didnt have the decency to even help her out with her kids, who incidently you left in Thailand

you offer her about 5000 Euros.

Deep inside she resents you buster! thats for sure.

Oh and a message to you you sanctimonious tip of a needle............

Wherever a girl comes from or what she has done to survive dont relate

to the quality of person she is and there are many ex-bargirls that i know of

that make beautiful wives and partners , and many even care for their

husbands kids from a previous marraige(UNLIKE YOU)!!

You understand little of Thailand so better you keep your assets

in Swiss..... even better, stay there yourself Richard Head!

What a load of B.S

Why should the OP help out with anything for her Kids ? They are nothing to do with him and he doesnt have to do anything . I would never help raise some elses kids ( unless they were related to me by blood ) . I have a kid and i would never expect anyone else to provide for them.

As for understanding Thailand he doesnt need to he lives in Europe.

I am willing to guess you support your wifes family.. all her ' brothers ' her sisters Mum Dad and the whole village... wake up not everyone is that scared of losing there woman that they have to pay to keep her. If the OPs Wife doesnt like what she has , she knows there the door is.

[Soutpeel]

I wonder if he paid Sin Sot ??.....

If he did, I am sure that he made his wife pay him back, with interest.

Oh he researched Thai culture fully and realised if a lady had been married before Sin Sot was not applicable and made this a significant part of his criteria in selecting his maid

wife...sorry....

[TheWalkingMan]

I really do not understand why people are jumping on the OP. He laid out exactly how he felt about providing support and that he was not going to make any significant investments in Thailand. The gentlemen who have already lost significant monies would have been wise to follow his lead.

As far as his wife insisting on paying 50% of the monthly expenses.... Fantastic! How many guys would kill to have a Thai woman who wants to work, send her own money home AND contribute 50% to the household expenses. Most of the stories I have heard are of the woman working and keeping the money while the husband still provides her support. If she loves you, can cook, floats your boat, is a great conversationalist and has her own money??!!... Jackpot, f'ng Jackpot!

Of course there are the monied up thaivisa.com members who are rolling in the stuff and are able to provide monies to her family back home for land, houses, holidays, university education, medical expenses, food, parties, cars, motorbikes etc. Good for you.

I tip my hat to the OP as he made sure that everything was done fairly.

TheWalkingMan

Edited January 11, 2011 by TheWalkingMan

[bunnaag]

I really do not understand why people are jumping on the OP. He laid out exactly how he felt about providing support and that he was not going to make any significant investments in Thailand. The gentlemen who have already lost significant monies would have been wise to follow his lead.

As far as his wife insisting on paying 50% of the monthly expenses.... Fantastic! How many guys would kill to have a Thai woman who wants to work, send her own money home AND contribute 50% to the household expenses. Most of the stories I have heard are of the woman working and keeping the money while the husband still provides her support. If she loves you, can cook, floats your boat, is a great conversationalist and has her own money??!!... Jackpot, f'ng Jackpot!

Of course there are the monied up thaivisa.com members who are rolling in the stuff and are able to provide monies to her family back home for land, houses, holidays, university education, medical expenses, food, parties, cars, motorbikes etc. Good for you.

I tip my hat to the OP as he made sure that everything was done fairly.

TheWalkingMan

keep on walking

[daveyravey]

So after 10 years of marraige to a skingy guy who didnt have the decency to even help her out with her kids, who incidently you left in Thailand

you offer her about 5000 Euros.

Deep inside she resents you buster! thats for sure.

Oh and a message to you you sanctimonious tip of a needle............

Wherever a girl comes from or what she has done to survive dont relate

to the quality of person she is and there are many ex-bargirls that i know of

that make beautiful wives and partners , and many even care for their

husbands kids from a previous marraige(UNLIKE YOU)!!

You understand little of Thailand so better you keep your assets

in Swiss..... even better, stay there yourself Richard Head!

What a load of B.S

Why should the OP help out with anything for her Kids ? They are nothing to do with him and he doesnt have to do anything . I would never help raise some elses kids ( unless they were related to me by blood ) . I have a kid and i would never expect anyone else to provide for them.

As for understanding Thailand he doesnt need to he lives in Europe.

I am willing to guess you support your wifes family.. all her ' brothers ' her sisters Mum Dad and the whole village... wake up not everyone is that scared of losing there woman that they have to pay to keep her. If the OPs Wife doesnt like what she has , she knows there the door is.

and im willing to guess that you are still not with the mother of your kid.

If you are she deserves a medal.

My wifes family (she is Thai) earn their own money. And id wager her dad, brother and sister are all better

educated than you and are worth far more than you are.

Oh and my wife isnt from a village, but saying that her famillies land in Bangkok is as

big as most villages.

[Thailaw]

I tip my hat to the OP as he made sure that everything was done fairly.

Done "fairly", my ass. When you marry a woman and take her away from her children, you assume some responsibility for her dependants -- that should be obvious. I am not suggesting that he has a responsibility to take care of her entire family, but he does have a responsibility to help support her kids, regardless of the fact that they are from a previous relationship -- that commitmenit and the acceptance of that responsibility should have been a part of the decision to marry her. The education that the wife's two chilren received on only her income (working in a bakery!) after she handed over enough to the OP to cover half of the living expenses could not have been as good as it might/would have been had he helped with their support (it probably wasn't even adequate, but why should he care, right?). Be as cheap as you want, but not with children's education. You have a very warped idea of "fair", as obviously does the OP (or more likely he doesn't care if he is being fair or not).

[InSiSongkram]

What a sad tale from someone who actually seems like they are bragging about the history of their "marriage" and is trying to show others the correct path. It will be interesting to see if swissie comes back to give us more advice?

[highchol]

What a sad tale from someone who actually seems like they are bragging about the history of their "marriage" and is trying to show others the correct path. It will be interesting to see if swissie comes back to give us more advice?

leave him alone swissie was only being franc

[Naam]

Yes, you are kee niow, congratulations. I cant help but feel abit sorry for your wife truth be told.

yeah what a cheap skate.

swissie said: And the moral of the story: Among the 30 Million of female Thai citizens, pearls among the rough can be found.

reminds me of Matthew 7:6 "Pearls Before Swine"

[MJP]

What a sad tale from someone who actually seems like they are bragging about the history of their "marriage" and is trying to show others the correct path. It will be interesting to see if swissie comes back to give us more advice?

leave him alone swissie was only being franc

Have any of you considered whether the good Thai lady doesn't want to have or keep assets in, or in fact have much to do with Thailand herself?

She's very likely to be happy where she is and good for her. One thing the good ladies of this country like is stability, not something they necessarily associate with their homeland.