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Glitterman Speaks About [S] Glitterman Makes A Dummy Out Of Himself And Falls In Love. [Warning; Contains Nude Photos Of Glittermans New Girlfriend.


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Thank you for choosing this Glitterman product. The description on the front of the box; 'Nude Photos' may not depict its actual contents, as contents may vary slightly.

The Almighty and Powerful Wizard is back yet again and gives you;

Parable of the Cheese from the Moon, Revelation 66686475.

............And so, slowly cycling along Beach Road one day the Great Golden Glitterman did happen to have nobody needed saving.

"Nobody needs saving today, so I think I will into the Royal Garden Plaza and see that new Louis Tussards wax museum, there will obviously be a waxwork of me in there that I can kiss repeatedly.

But after half an hour of searching for himself, and finding nothing. the Golden One was totally and utterly outraged and said,

"I am totally and utterly outraged, anyway I do not need Lois Tussards to make a dummy out of me, I am quite capable of making a dummy out of myself without their help, all I need is some wax."

........So the Golden One popped into CarreFour and bought ten very large Buddha candles. Taking them home he melted them and molded a wonderful complete full size dummy of himself. Then placing one of his spare golden coats on it he said,

"There, beautiful, I shall mount this upon the back passenger seat of my beautiful golden bicycle. When people see me pass by they will all say with admiration 'Wow! Look at that man, he has made a complete dummy out of himself.'"

..............Later that day the Golden One slowly cycled along Beach Road, proudly exhibiting his latest creation of 'double Golden man.' A Thai man holding a half empty bottle of whisky starred in amazement as the Golden One slowly cycled by. Then the Thai man looked at his bottle of Whisky and threw it away, which knocked out a dog that was just about to bite him.

"Ahh!, a parade," Said the Golden One. "show time!"

Slipping into the very front of the parade as usual, the Golden One wore his fixed smile and slowly led the parade along Beach Road. But the hot sun started to melt the wax dummy, and within a short time the wax dummy had vanished, leaving only the golden coat lying on top of the passenger seat. A trail of slippery melted wax covered the road behind him causing the marching band to slip and slide around playing duff notes.

"They sound a bit out of tune, they should put more practice in." Thought the Golden One with amusement.

Suddenly a strong gust of wind caught the ex-dummies golden coat and made it fly through the air and land on a lady in the audience. The lady screamed and ran away blindly with the coat covering her head. Hearing the scream the Golden One turned around to see his dummy missing and see his golden coat running away.

"That thief has stolen my dummy." Shouted the Golden One. "Watch me, Pattaya's superhero in action."

So the Golden One did a 'U' turn on his bicycle and went after the thief. But his tires slipped on the melted wax, causing the Golden One to fly through the air and land head first into the large big bass drum of the marching band. The crowd now laughing uncontrollably as the fat Thai drummer continued banging on his large drum, unaware that the Golden One was half submerged in it. The Golden One then pulled himself out of the drum, and from under his golden coat the Golden One took out his new friend the coconut knife.

"Smile Please!" Said the Golden One. "Its later than you think."

The Golden One then slit the fat drummers throat from ear to ear. The drummer fell to the floor clutching his throat. The Golden One then quickly sprang upon the drummer, and in a frenzied attack hacked off the drummers head and shoved it into his drum, while singing Ian Durys 'Hit me with your rythm stick, its nice to be a lunatic.'


Two large symbols accidently came together on the Golden Ones head. The crowd now rolling on the ground in fits of uncontrollable laughter as the Golden One vibrated and wobbled away, straight into a large French Horn.


With his head firmly stuck inside the French Horn, the Golden One blindly wandered around, colliding with the tubular Bells.


Wearing them around his neck the Golden One staggered and swayed with the bells ringing. Slipping up on the wax again the Golden One flew high into the sky, far above the laughing crowds and clouds. Falling on his way back down the French Horn attached itself to the overhead gantry of the new pedestrian crossing, thus releasing the Golden One from the horn, who fell from the gantry to the road with a smug grin.

Sitting on the road the Golden One said, "Where is my hat?"

'FLOP!' fell his hat on to his head from the above French Horn.

The Golden One jumped to his feet and continued chasing the thief. Soon the Golden One caught up with the thief and removed the golden coat from the thief's head. The Golden One froze as he looked into the eyes of a beautiful golden haired Ferang lady.

"I....I....I....L..L...Love you" Said the Golden One with his beautiful smile.

The lady smiled back and softly replied, "I...I...I...Love you too."

The crowd now silent now started smiling warmly and let out a big, "Ahhhhh! He is in love, how nice."

Then the entire crowd broke out into a huge round of applause as the Golden Ones both kissed and walked off into the sunset with their arms wrapped around each other, eating Cheese from the Moon. The setting sun falling like a red cherry in the evening sky shone its last pure rays of innocent light upon the two Golden Ones.

Then the lady turned to the Golden One and said,

"Oh Glittery my love, there is a couple of things that you should know about me, my blond golden hair is only a wig, and I am only a.....AMEN."

"Smile please, Its later than you think." Said the Golden one raising high into the air his new friend the coconut knife...............

After skinning and dismembering the body the Golden One wore the face mask for a while before being chased by the angry crowd.


MORAL OF THE PARABLE IS; A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.....or bike.

Coming sooner or later another one.

The Royal Glitterman hath Spoken.




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:D Barking....more dismeberment please.

Is your spellchecker broken mate? :unsure:

Spellchecker. Good one...


I reserve the right to post any old cobblers mate....whilst the GM's posts are normally gramattically perfect.

Is his fame causing him to hit the bottle I wonder? :unsure:

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:D Barking....more dismeberment please.

Is your spellchecker broken mate? :unsure:

Spellchecker. Good one...


I reserve the right to post any old cobblers mate....whilst the GM's posts are normally gramattically perfect.

Is his fame causing him to hit the bottle I wonder? :unsure:

Ok, never mind the grammar, krap. But, they're making me B) hit the bottle... sheesh! Anyway, Long live the Golden Legend; Lofty Thinker; Insightful Author; Defender of the Kingdom; Righter of Wrongs; Friend to those who have no friends! Pedaling his way into your hearts... Wing on, Glitter Man!

(Fame... what fame?)


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You can't fool us Thaddeus.......that is not really you in the photo is it?

Please exit stage left.........

Another clever imaginative comic strip story Glitterman.....not sure about the use of the coconut knife, but others seem to enjoy a bit of gore....liked the line about making a dummy out of yourself, great humour.

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Mr. Glitterman, I note your extravagant outfit.

How do you keep from dehyrating?

You must sweat something awful parading about in that outfit. What deoderant do you use and is it effective?

Do you wear special underwear to address the heavy wetnes that must occur in your lower area?

Do you meet any hot babes when you are on tour? If so, do you put them on the handlebars and go for a ride?

Do you have a special pre touring meal?

Have any of the bar owners down near Boyztown offered you a spot in one of their showgirl revues?

Do you have any fans that run over to you and expose their bosoms? That hapopens to Justin Bieber and I was wondering about you.


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