I have been "retired" to Pattaya now for about a year. I wanted to post a little about my expectations moving in vs the reality of being here (without writing a book). Each point listed below is numbered in the expectations category vs the reality. You can reply with your own down below if you would like to contribute to the list.

Expectations

1. A young socially vibrant scene in an upscale condo building.
2. A nice pool with many young women swimming and sunbathing & having fun.
3. People around in the evening & night partying and drinking.
4. Women open to conversation and being friendly outside of an "arrangement" setting or venue.
5. People from all over the world visiting and interacting in a relaxed casual manner.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

Reality

1. An older scene with many retired single guys that are not very social. Building & facilities are good and upscale.
2. A small handful of the same guys (50 - 60ish) meeting daily to bob up & down in the water together.
3. It's quiet with people in their rooms. Many of the rooms seem empty with lights off in one of the newest/best buildings in the area.
4. Freelancers looking at their phones who shun eye contact or simple greetings in the elevator.
5. Older guys kind of just sitting around in various venues not saying much and not really having much to say.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

It just increasingly seems to me that it's not a happy casual place. You do have the high octane nightlife, women and company in nightlife areas but it only seems to happen under that particular umbrella where there is an obvious financial gain there, not as a natural interaction. I hope I am making sense.

Yeah it's crap. I keep telling people but they dont listen

13 minutes ago, Freebird13 said:

I have been "retired" to Pattaya now for about a year. I wanted to post a little about my expectations moving in vs the reality of being here (without writing a book). Each point listed below is numbered in the expectations category vs the reality. You can reply with your own down below if you would like to contribute to the list.

Expectations

1. A young socially vibrant scene in an upscale condo building.
2. A nice pool with many young women swimming and sunbathing & having fun.
3. People around in the evening & night partying and drinking.
4. Women open to conversation and being friendly outside of an "arrangement" setting or venue.
5. People from all over the world visiting and interacting in a relaxed casual manner.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

Reality

1. An older scene with many retired single guys that are not very social. Building & facilities are good and upscale.
2. A small handful of the same guys (50 - 60ish) meeting daily to bob up & down in the water together.
3. It's quiet with people in their rooms. Many of the rooms seem empty with lights off in one of the newest/best buildings in the area.
4. Freelancers looking at their phones who shun eye contact or simple greetings in the elevator.
5. Older guys kind of just sitting around in various venues not saying much and not really having much to say.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

It just increasingly seems to me that it's not a happy casual place. You do have the high octane nightlife, women and company in nightlife areas but it only seems to happen under that particular umbrella where there is an obvious financial gain there, not as a natural interaction. I hope I am making sense.

A change of place to live might be better. Or there is always Isaan. After spending a few months up there, Pattaya will probably feel a lot more exotic every time you come back.

10 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Yeah it's crap. I keep telling people but they dont listen

So, where are you going, Rocky? Coming from the same person who started the “Thailand is boring” thread #12 yesterday, I’m just curious. 🤔

10 minutes ago, Freebird13 said:

I have been "retired" to Pattaya now for about a year

The reality you describe is par for the course if you live in a retirement area and are yourself of retirement age.

If you make an effort to speak Thai to the Thais you may catch the eye of a non freelancer.

19 minutes ago, Freebird13 said:

6.. A lot of India type guys

Dont forget the standof-ish Russians and noisy Chinese 😋

it differs a world living there if youre in your 30's vs 50's,

in particular regarding your own sexual attraction to the opposite sex with normal woman

39 minutes ago, Freebird13 said:

A small handful of the same guys (50 - 60ish) meeting daily to bob up & down in the water together.

Sounds like you need hobbies, ideally find one or two prior to retiring. You aren't going to meet the people you are after in reception, the lift, the swimming pool, in a bar

It just increasingly seems to me that it's not a happy casual place.

You want a happy casual place?

Gotta go to the Cheesecake Factory* in Bangkok for that. 😄

*The Cheesecake Factory menu is as big as the Bible and just as culturally significant

Edited July 31Jul 31 by SiSePuede419
Big ass menu

Yeah, Thailand is not for everyone, it's a shame that the vloggers broadcast their fake videos just for the likes, content creators earning a living.

I'm the happiest guy on the planet, Thailand has been my home over 25 years. Big family, a few close friends.

Happy days for me 😊

1 hour ago, Freebird13 said:

I have been "retired" to Pattaya now for about a year. I wanted to post a little about my expectations moving in vs the reality of being here (without writing a book). Each point listed below is numbered in the expectations category vs the reality. You can reply with your own down below if you would like to contribute to the list.

Expectations

1. A young socially vibrant scene in an upscale condo building.
2. A nice pool with many young women swimming and sunbathing & having fun.
3. People around in the evening & night partying and drinking.
4. Women open to conversation and being friendly outside of an "arrangement" setting or venue.
5. People from all over the world visiting and interacting in a relaxed casual manner.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

Reality

1. An older scene with many retired single guys that are not very social. Building & facilities are good and upscale.
2. A small handful of the same guys (50 - 60ish) meeting daily to bob up & down in the water together.
3. It's quiet with people in their rooms. Many of the rooms seem empty with lights off in one of the newest/best buildings in the area.
4. Freelancers looking at their phones who shun eye contact or simple greetings in the elevator.
5. Older guys kind of just sitting around in various venues not saying much and not really having much to say.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

It just increasingly seems to me that it's not a happy casual place. You do have the high octane nightlife, women and company in nightlife areas but it only seems to happen under that particular umbrella where there is an obvious financial gain there, not as a natural interaction. I hope I am making sense.

Just curious how did you come up with those defined expectations?

1 hour ago, Freebird13 said:

I have been "retired" to Pattaya now for about a year. I wanted to post a little about my expectations moving in vs the reality of being here (without writing a book). Each point listed below is numbered in the expectations category vs the reality. You can reply with your own down below if you would like to contribute to the list.

Expectations

1. A young socially vibrant scene in an upscale condo building.
2. A nice pool with many young women swimming and sunbathing & having fun.
3. People around in the evening & night partying and drinking.
4. Women open to conversation and being friendly outside of an "arrangement" setting or venue.
5. People from all over the world visiting and interacting in a relaxed casual manner.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

Reality

1. An older scene with many retired single guys that are not very social. Building & facilities are good and upscale.
2. A small handful of the same guys (50 - 60ish) meeting daily to bob up & down in the water together.
3. It's quiet with people in their rooms. Many of the rooms seem empty with lights off in one of the newest/best buildings in the area.
4. Freelancers looking at their phones who shun eye contact or simple greetings in the elevator.
5. Older guys kind of just sitting around in various venues not saying much and not really having much to say.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

It just increasingly seems to me that it's not a happy casual place. You do have the high octane nightlife, women and company in nightlife areas but it only seems to happen under that particular umbrella where there is an obvious financial gain there, not as a natural interaction. I hope I am making sense.

I'm certainly not an expert on the place but I've been there many times in the past. Though it is a big city with many different kinds of activities besides the most obvious ones I've never found the expat community there to be particularly stimulating, nor friendly. Add in the fact that it seems to be a mecca for both criminals and scam artists, and for me that's just another reason to stay away.

Also it's been my observation that in areas that attract a huge expat community the locals tend to be quite jaded, and the interactions are not particularly warm. The most obvious reason for a single guy to be there is the fact that there's quite a bit to work with in terms of both pros and freelancers. However I think because of the prevalence of that subset it probably makes it quite difficult to meet a real civilian woman.

If you're really passionate about golf or karting then it's a good spot. Otherwise I really don't understand the attraction or the appeal.

Edited July 31Jul 31 by spidermike007

48 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

vloggers broadcast their fake videos just for the likes, content creators earning a living.

Yeah, I create content every morning shortly after breakfast. It is a matter of survival too.

I know this might be harsh, but you sound like a new kid at school who nobody will talk to. Find ways to keep yourself occupied, and enjoy your own company first. Go to the bars where you feel comfortable on your own, with plenty of 'scenery' to keep your mind occupied. Get out to the countryside for regular breaks from the city.

You'll pick up mates along the way over the months and years without trying.

P.S. those guys bobbing up and down in the pool every day would aslo drive me nuts

1. A young socially vibrant scene in an upscale condo building.

   Probably a few around. Just realize that Thai's prefer to meet outside their condo to socialize.

2. Swimming Pool. I see a few, usually transient. Others are down at the Sattahip beach.

3. People around partying.

   Yes, plenty. Again mostly transient or retired.

4. Women up to conversation.

   My opinion unless you've been frequenting the same places and they've established you will not be gone in a few days/weeks it's hard

   Doesn't hurt to try but you're going to have to work for it. (No stability with here today/gone tomorrow partner)

5. Yes. Definitely some foreigners mixing and talking. Some sticking to their own groups.

6. Don't understand the Indian comment.

   Yes, indians are growing in longer stay numbers

   Most stick to themselves.

I always recommend someone come, visit, try to integrate, see if you can adapt and that their enough activities for you

Some will succeed, some will struggle with some success and some will struggle and learn it's not the place they want to live for any number of reasons.

6 minutes ago, CG1 Blue said:

P.S. those guys bobbing up and down in the pool every day would aslo drive me nuts

Especially those bastards who do not shower first 🥸

33 minutes ago, Peter Crow said:

Yeah, I create content every morning shortly after breakfast. It is a matter of survival too.

Me, after breakfast, I take a dump. Equally satisfying.

I suspect your experience would be about the same in some other places in Thailand. My spouse and I have a condo in a 500-unit upscale condo project in center city Bangkok that has a good mix of Thais and foreigners of all ages, including residents in their 20s, 30s and 40s. From our observation, nobody really mixes with anybody else that they don't know--whether they are at the pool, at the gym, at the library, or at the sky lounge. Not mixing it up with other residents doesn't really reflect whether the people are happy or not--my spouse and I are certainly happy with little in the way of interaction with our fellow residents. We do have friends we socialize with but not in your hoped for way of numbers 1 thru 4. For us, it's more like #5 with parties at someone's condo or house, and get-togethers, sometimes with small numbers, for dinners out at nice restaurants, etc.

Along with a large expat community, what Pattaya has going for it is a number of distinct neighborhoods with their own vibe--the other day I was reading something and it said there were 12. Depending on your lifestyle, there is likely a neighborhood that will cater to it better than many other places in Thailand. We started in seaview condos in a variety of places when we moved to Pattaya in 2010 but as we got older we decided we wanted a quieter lifestyle and we are now in a large pool villa on the Darkside. It suits us well and we can be in Pattaya in less than 15 minutes to enjoy all that Pattaya has in the way of restaurants, shopping, and services. Scubascuba3 and CG1Blue had some good advice and suggestions that you might consider. I would say if you haven't made any friends in a year living in Pattaya you need to shake up your routine.

51 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Also it's been my observation that in areas that attract a huge expat community the locals tend to be quite jaded, and the interactions are not particularly warm. The most obvious reason for a single guy to be there is the fact that there's quite a bit to work with in terms of both pros and freelancers. However I think because of the prevalence of that subset it probably makes it quite difficult to meet a real civilian woman.

I think you are spot on in most points there.

Though there are other things than golf and carting to do..lots of beach type stuff + sky diving,paragliding,bungee jumping

(quite a few balcony jumpers) off road motorbike and quad tracks,Bira race track for the true speed maniacs ( not to be confused with Sukhumvit road)

there are bridge,chess,darts,snooker,pool clubs..not sure if the bowling alleys reopened after the covidiocy plandemic but at least the cinemas survived in the popular air-conditioned shopping malls housing lots of very pleasing 'eye candy' the food courts seem to be a popular pickup point.

2 hours ago, Freebird13 said:

Expectations

1. A young socially vibrant scene in an upscale condo building.
2. A nice pool with many young women swimming and sunbathing & having fun.
3. People around in the evening & night partying and drinking.
4. Women open to conversation and being friendly outside of an "arrangement" setting or venue.rticular umbrella where there is an obvious financial gain there, not as a natural interaction. I hope I am making sense.

Reading between the lines : You seemed to be looking for place where you can meet and befriend bargirls for free when they aren't working and get free sex because they like you ?

And what you found was 50 other older guys all doing the same thing

2 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Sounds like you need hobbies, ideally find one or two prior to retiring. You aren't going to meet the people you are after in reception, the lift, the swimming pool, in a bar

The easiest thing to do is show up at a decent gym 3 to 6 days a week. The more often you go, the better chance you have of building a social circle. And what is the worst that can happen if you show up and stay reasonably dedicated?

What I do not understand is people who think things happen by themselves just because they want something. If you eventually meet one or two people you become friends with, they will introduce you to their circle and other activities. And if the place you live bothers «you», change it.

If I came here alone today, I would start playing golf as well as going to the gym. Many dedicated, nice women play golf, if that is who you want to meet.

Too many people lack initiative and become passive.

1 hour ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Yeah, Thailand is not for everyone, it's a shame that the vloggers broadcast their fake videos just for the likes, content creators earning a living.

I'm just following seaturkey at the moment .

A 40 something year old British guy construction worker who sold up and moved to Thailand permeantly .

Hes going to open up some businesses and earn money that way .

He seems to he hoping to become a Youtube influencer , one of the ,many who have tried that .

Lets see how he gets one

4 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

I'm just following seaturkey at the moment .

A 40 something year old British guy construction worker who sold up and moved to Thailand permeantly .

Hes going to open up some businesses and earn money that way .

He seems to he hoping to become a Youtube influencer , one of the ,many who have tried that .

Lets see how he gets one

He does not seem too bad from what I have seen so far, or? I have not followed him, but I have seen a few clips that showed up in my feed.

Most likely he will either go down the drain into negativity, stay overly positive about everything, or follow the usual rollercoaster with ups and downs. Mac TV also shows up once in a while, but I have never managed to watch a full update. At least I think it is Mac TV?

3 hours ago, Freebird13 said:

Reality

1. An older scene with many retired single guys that are not very social. Building & facilities are good and upscale.
2. A small handful of the same guys (50 - 60ish) meeting daily to bob up & down in the water together.
3. It's quiet with people in their rooms. Many of the rooms seem empty with lights off in one of the newest/best buildings in the area.
4. Freelancers looking at their phones who shun eye contact or simple greetings in the elevator.
5. Older guys kind of just sitting around in various venues not saying much and not really having much to say.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

It just increasingly seems to me that it's not a happy casual place.

Did you not read about Pattaya before deciding to even step foot in that place? Personally have no interest whatsoever breathing in any of the air in that place.

12 minutes ago, Hummin said:

The easiest thing to do is show up at a decent gym 3 to 6 days a week. The more often you go, the better chance you have of building a social circle. And what is the worst that can happen if you show up and stay reasonably dedicated?

What I do not understand is people who think things happen by themselves just because they want something. If you eventually meet one or two people you become friends with, they will introduce you to their circle and other activities. And if the place you live bothers «you», change it.

If I came here alone today, I would start playing golf as well as going to the gym. Many dedicated, nice women play golf, if that is who you want to meet.

Too many people lack initiative and become passive.

My limited experience of gyms in the UK is everyone was looking down or at their phones, worst place to meet people, plus i found it really boring. Groups or clubs cycling, golf, racquet sports etc is an easy way for people to talk as a group, cycling often you talk for hours, naturally happens not a big effort required.

More and more non verbal people about, conversation is a dying skill

3 hours ago, Freebird13 said:

It just increasingly seems to me that it's not a happy casual place. You do have the high octane nightlife, women and company in nightlife areas but it only seems to happen under that particular umbrella where there is an obvious financial gain there, not as a natural interaction. I hope I am making sense.

Yes, the dark side of the Pay For Play scene is that it kills off normal interactions.

Pattaya is a strange place from a sociological perspective.

21 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Mac TV also shows up once in a while, but I have never managed to watch a full update. At least I think it is Mac TV?

He owns a bar in Pattaya.

He's around 30 years old.

He has a Thai gf or wife.

But at that age and a bar owner, it's probably not hard for him to meet women.

Edited July 31Jul 31 by save the frogs

13 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

My limited experience of gyms in the UK is everyone was looking down or at their phones, worst place to meet people, plus i found it really boring. Groups or clubs cycling, golf, racquet sports etc is an easy way for people to talk as a group, cycling often you talk for hours, naturally happens not a big effort required.

More and more non verbal people about, conversation is a dying skill

Any activity that gets you out to meet other people, and not necessarily a bar and alcohol involved.

1 minute ago, save the frogs said:

He owns a bar in Pattaya.

He's around 30 years old.

He has a Thai gf or wife.

But at that age and a bar owner, he probably has a lot of girls throwing themselves at him.

He have been creating content long time before he made the bar?

3 minutes ago, Hummin said:

He have been creating content long time before he made the bar?

I'm not following his life that closely.

But I think so, yeah.

A few bar owners use Youtube to promote their bars, and it gives them an edge over competitors.

1 hour ago, johng said:

d in the popular air-conditioned shopping malls housing lots of very pleasing 'eye candy' the food courts seem to be a popular pickup point.

I was in food court recently and a pretty young woman was sat there on her own having a feed .

A felang guy noticed her and went and sat beside her and began chatting her up and got his phone out and asked for her contact details and was telling jokes and everything for about 5 minutes .

Seemed like he was asking her out for a drink or something .

A few minutes later a Thai guy shows up and asks for some receipt or something from the woman .

She looks in her hanadbag and finds the receipt .

She than says to the Thai guy, her BF , to wait there and she would go and sort the issue out .

The felang guy was then left there chatting to the BF.

"Yeah, maybe the three of us can go out for a drink sometime ........."

Well awkward for all involved