Deep Fried And Dope-Smoking Cockroaches

[PattayaOneTeam]

Above Bawd in Pattaya

Deep-Fried and Dope-Smoking Cockroaches

No, not another weird food thread, but a review of a <URL Automatically Removed> thread dealing with cockroaches (”Cockroach Tales”) which contained a wealth of information and scary anecdotes about a creature we live (and often sleep) cheek by jowl with, and which sometimes get too close for comfort.

Bangyai quoted a UK Times article which included some interesting cockroach facts, to get us going:

Contrary to popular belief, cockroaches do not carry disease in themselves, although they can aggravate allergies and worsen asthma.

They may have gained such a bad name because of their favourite places to hang out: anywhere fairly warm and wet, such as sewers, toilets and rubbish dumps, where they can pick up germs and spread them around in their tracks.

Cockroaches are one of the most successful and tough pests on Earth -- they have been around for 250 million years and even outlived the dinosaurs.

They are thought to be able to resist 15 times the level of radiation that a human being can, so they would probably be the only survivors of a nuclear war on Earth. They do not need much food, either, being able to live on just one meal a month.

A female roach can lay an egg at the age of one month, then another for every month of her life thereafter -- and every egg contains 40 babies. Each baby makes another 40, and so on. It is estimated that in one year, a single cockroach can be responsible for producing up to a million new cockroaches.

A cockroach will live for a number of weeks after decapitation, before starving to death. The severed head survives for several hours.

Bangyai also, described the scene when he moved into his Filipina girlfriend's less than salubrious room.

Come lights out it wasn't long before it sounded like I had crashed out on a forest floor in autumn ...... an ominous rustling from behind the wallpaper. Flicking on the lights I saw an army of roaches rehearsing the trooping of the colour across the wall. Somewhat alarmed I spent the next few hours with the sheet wrapped over my head and tucked in as best I could, trembling with fear……..

At the time, I sported a moustache and was recovering from hepatitis so was stuck on a diet of coke and sprite, which on this occasion I had failed to wash off. About an hour later I was disturbed from my slumber by a tickling sensation around my upper lip. Waking with a start I brushed my face and switched on the light to see two roaches scampering across the bed. I moved back into the hotel next day.

The same poster also mentioned a “bamboo pipe” he had at home, in more relaxed days in Thailand. I had a good long pull from the top of the pipe. I was just getting ready for seconds when a couple of long antennae emerged from the pipe shortly followed by a large roach looking a bit shaky on his feet.

Imagine that, a world first - smoking a roach in your bong.

Kingwilly brough it back to the level of a kitchen sink drama when he reminded us of best practice in the war on cockroaches: at breakfast I was pouring my mother an orange juice from the container and a dead bugger slipped out of the OJ into the glass! The maid must have left the lid off in the kitchen.

Showing everyone that cockroaches are not just a Third World problem, and that there's no easy way to finish them off, Patsycat reported: They even pop up in Super Clean Switzerland. The pest control guys came round and sprayed a place I once rented, I don't know what's worse - the ones that scurry around or the ones that are half dead and you have to put them out of their misery as they die a slow death on your kitchen counter.

Similarly Jet Gordon reported from Canada: Many moons ago I was drinking a Spanish coffee at a fav club in Gastown, Vancouver. I asked for NO maraschino cherry. Was finishing the drink and got a big glob in my mouth. Spat it out and it was a dead cockroach.

Nearer to home, Mr Brown posted his own unpleasant experience of being in Central Plaza, Bangkok in a rainstorm.

I could feel some tickling on my neck - I thought nothing of it believing it to be the rain dripping from the edge of the umbrella. This tickling sensation reached my mouth however so I had a quick grab only to pull off my face a dirty little roach squirming away within my grasp.

Mr Brown was happier to recount the next tale:

Went to work one day and a young big breasted farang was casually stood outside of my work soaking up the songkhran sunshine. To my disbelief there was a huge cockroach relaxing on her tit snuggled on top of her white shirt. I clocked it straight away and as I passed her just mentioned that she had a roach on her, ahem, top.

She looked at me a bit wierd; when she looked down the scream was worth it, made my day.

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-- Pattaya One 2011-02-07