Sleazy Chat-up Lines

[Artisan]

SLEAZY CHAT-UP. Use these with discretion:

a) (Lick finger and wipe it on her blouse). “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.”

b “Hmm, nice legs. What time do they open?”

c) “Do you work for the post office? I thought I saw you checking out my package.”

d) “You’ve got 206 bones in your body. Want any more?”

e) “Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?”

f) “I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.”

g) “I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one around here?”

h) “Honey, I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest women on earth tonight.”

i) “Do you want to play The Army Game? I’ll just lie down here and you can blow the ###### out of me.”

j) “I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked.”

k) “You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.”

l) “You must be the Limp Doctor because I’ve got a real stiffy here.”

m) “If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.”

n) “You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me. Immediately.”

o) “You, Me, Whipped Cream and Handcuffs. Any questions?”

p) “You know, those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.”

q) “My name is Colin (or whatever). Remember that, because you’ll be screaming it out loud later on tonight.”

r) “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past you again?”

s) “Do you sleep on your stomach. If so, can I?”

Edited September 6, 2005 by Artisan

[snoophound]

Any Translators in the house??

SLEAZY CHAT-UP. Use these with discretion:

a)    (Lick finger and wipe it on her blouse). “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.”

b  “Hmm, nice legs. What time do they open?”

c)  “Do you work for the post office?  I thought I saw you checking out my package.”

d)  “You’ve got 206 bones in your body. Want any more?”

e)  “Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?”

f)    “I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.”

g)    “I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one around here?”

h)    “Honey, I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest women on earth tonight.”

i)      “Do you want to play The Army Game?  I’ll just lie down here and you can blow the ###### out of me.”

j)    “I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked.”

k)  “You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.”

l)    “You must be the Limp Doctor because I’ve got a real stiffy here.”

m)  “If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.”

n)    “You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me. Immediately.”

o)  “You, Me, Whipped Cream and Handcuffs. Any questions?”

p)  “You know, those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.”

q)  “My name is Colin (or whatever). Remember that, because you’ll be screaming it out loud later on tonight.”

r)  “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past you again?”

s)  “Do you sleep on your stomach. If so, can I?”

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Ice Maiden]

I've had "I want to screw you then get you to cook me breakfast"

“You know, those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.”

Oh, dejavu.

Edited September 6, 2005 by Ice Maiden

[Jeff1]

Your so beautiful im erecting a monument in your honor as we speak

[Thaipwriter]

I rememeber Sid the Sexist from the Viz magazine once said....

"Do you like flower's? ........get your Tulips round this"

[Jeff1]

I rememeber Sid the Sexist from the Viz magazine once said....

"Do you like flower's? ........get your Tulips round this"

Thats a good new version .

I heard it as " Do you like flowers on a piano ? How about tulips on a organ "

[sadman]

Drink up, love, you've pulled.

Touch me girls, I'm real.

Do you want to come back for sex and pizza, or don't you like pizza?

None of which have I ever used.

[sadman]

I've had "I want to screw you then get you to cook me breakfast" 

How beautifully men use the language of love.

Is it fair to say that 1) he was an unreconstructed neanderthal, and 2) he went home alone again?

[hughden]

Want to go halves on a bastard?

[andyadam]

This face is leaving in 5 minutes, be on it