Dying Girlfriend?

[Eric Davis]

I retain great affection for an ex girlfriend. Lately she has been saying she has been unwell and I understood she was having some tests at Banglamung hospital.

Today I recieved a phone call from two girls on my exs phone ( barely understandable English ) That she is in Banglamung hospital and very sick and may die. I ask when will she get better they seem to think she will not. I tell them to get her to go to a bar I know so I can speak to a mutual English friend and find out whats occuring. They say she cannt leave hospital. They say she is too sick  evenn to go out to use the ATM ( I just checked her account on line no transactions for a week ) Can I speak to her Ans no too sick. So what do they want me to do Ans nothing theyt are just telling me she is very ill . I say i will sort it on my next holiday in November they say she aint going to live that long. I dont know who the girls are and they did not ask me for money for the hospital or anything .

I am very worried

If I pm her full name can someone please call the Banglamung hospital to find out if she is there and whats wrong.

Thanks

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I retain great affection for an ex girlfriend.

( I just checked her account on line no transactions for a week )

[richardb]

I retain great affection for an ex girlfriend. Lately she has been saying she has been unwell and I understood she was having some tests at Banglamung hospital.

Today I recieved a phone call from two girls on my exs phone ( barely understandable English ) That she is in Banglamung hospital and very sick and may die. I ask when will she get better they seem to think she will not. I tell them to get her to go to a bar I know so I can speak to a mutual English friend and find out whats occuring. They say she cannt leave hospital. They say she is too sick  evenn to go out to use the ATM ( I just checked her account on line no transactions for a week ) Can I speak to her Ans no too sick. So what do they want me to do Ans nothing theyt are just telling me she is very ill . I say i will sort it on my next holiday in November they say she aint going to live that long. I dont know who the girls are and they did not ask me for money for the hospital or anything .

I am very worried

If I pm her full name can someone please call the Banglamung hospital to find out if she is there and whats wrong.

Thanks

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I retain great affection for an ex girlfriend.

( I just checked her account on line no transactions for a week )

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Tompa]

Hi Richard,

Kudos to you mate! It’s a massively difficult decision especially considering this is an ex. Hope everything works out and she fully recovers.

If you want to help her for the future, then I would suggest buying some form of insurance for her the next time you visit Pattaya. This would at least help her out in regards to hospital bills etc in case she would get sick/have an accident in the future.

It doesn’t have to be that expensive at all. You can get very good insurance coverage for around 10,000 baht (or less) per year here in Thailand.

Tompa,

[Braccobaldo]

I retain great affection for an ex girlfriend.............Today I recieved a phone call from two girls on my exs phone ( barely understandable English ) That she is in Banglamung hospital and very sick and may die............

I am very worried

If I pm her full name can someone please call the Banglamung hospital to find out if she is there and whats wrong.

Thanks

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Two days ago alarmed and concerned that an exgirlfriend was ill I asked a bunch of strangers and not just strangers but strangers in a web forum where I am not even known through my posts and words for a simple favour.

A number of people volunteered to help me and more would have to I think if I had not posted to say I had offers of help. To everyone who offered their help I can only express my gratitude. The following day a member of this site was able to call in the hospital confirm she was in hospital and this was not a " buffalo " story and give me an idea of her condition.

How cool is that. Stop and think about it for a minute. For no reason apart from pure altruism a number of people went out of their way to help. I am sure that girly seeing falangs arriving can only have felt heartened. And I personally felt better that vicariously I had made contact and could begin to sort out the situation.

Every day you read bad news floods famine killing. So "upset and concerned man asks for help and gets it" will not make the front page of the Pattaya mail. Or maybe it will under the bizzare stories sectionafter all we all know that only bad nasty fallangs live in Pattaya!!!!! Rollox there are a lot of decent and good blokes in the city as my experience proves.

Other matters:

I have made contact with two blokes I know who live in Pattaya who I think will help.

Update on girls condition

This afterneoon one of the blokes got a call from Banglamung to say pick her up she is ok. He went and she in his words looks like she has been in a concentration camp. lots of food and water right as rain they say. However she can hardly walk. 7500 Baht for five days. He is not convinced she is ok and tomorow I think she goes to Bangkok Pattaya Hospital. I think its wise.

HIV

I cannt discount the possibility and am not foolish enough to ignore it due to her symptoms. I shall in due course get myself checked as a precaution as some years ago we were intimate ( though there were always three of us in the relatonship me her and Mr codom ) but the bottom line is that as UK national I am unlikely to die I will recieve the best treatment. She on the other hand has no access to treatment and given her present condition will be entirely reliant on me for some time and possibly in a worse case senario for ever and for ever is a long time. Anything else I say or wish to know about HIV in thailand I will say or ask in a thread appropriate to that subject.

My motives and actions and general sanity.

It is intimated that I am a fool to offer my help to a Thai ex girlfriend. Its true that a fool and his money are easily parted and this episode is likely to cost me plenty. I will though one day look back on my life and say , if I was a fool I was a happy fool. I wont ask more than that.

My life and circumstances could be regarded by some as tragedy, comedy or even farce. I beg to differ . I value insight opinion and observation if thats what it is and do read carefully what people say.

Of course I wish she never got ill its a drain emotionally and will likely be one finacially also.I have weighed matter up the cost of helping and not helping and the thing is I have now made my decision I want the girl better and have started to take steps to make that happen.

As they say in Thailand.

Up to me

Thanks again to all the top people who have pmd me and helped me.

Richard

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...good luck...to you and your friend...

[gharknes]

Thanks for the update Richard, hope things improve going forward.

I sometimes wonder how whenever some people on here discuss "Thai" people that they almost put them into some kindoff sub category, almost like they are not fully paid up members of the human race "like we are"

Richard had an ex girlfriend that happens to be Thai, he still has contact and they have mutual admiration and remain friends, I can relate to that very well as I have several ex girlfriends that remain very good friends, Richard lives far away and is concerned for her health, I got the impression from some posters on this thread that because she was Thai that he maybe shouldn't be concerned, OK I'm probably going to get a slating for this but reading through some posts I honestly got that perception, I also get the perception that some Thai woman are intent on creating scams to relieve the rich farag man of his bank account, well guys in my experience no matter where in the world you live there are women like that everywhere, they just have different methods of achieving the same, I found it very admirable of Richard to come on here "which I believe was the right thing to do" and ask for help/assistance, I find it even more admirable that people where chomping at the bit to help.............very touching indeed, this girl seems to be in very good hands, might I add I would do exactly the same myself.

Oh and one more thing, hospital services may not be that good in Thailand but I have to say it is debatable whether it is any better in the the UK

didn't read over my post - hope it makes sense

[Boo]

perfect sense & very good points gharkness

[opothai]

richardb

i take my hat of to you,

unfortunately i can not offer any help, but wish i could.

all i can do is give you and your ex my best wishes for the future.

[RDN]

richardb

i take my hat of to you,

unfortunately i can not offer any help, but wish i could.

all i can do is give you and your ex my best wishes for the future.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Seconded. Good man, richardb.

[Goddess of Whatever]

Wow.. interesting.

[richardb]

This is my last post on the subject and probably my last on any Thai related website.

Aom went into Pattaya international. Two English mates took her there as she could hardly walk after Banglamung discharged her. They put her in intensive care. Yesterday she was a lot better Yesterday they told my friends that she had tuberculosis. Result chest infection weight loss explained the administrator was calling me this morning to fill me in. So nine am this morning hospital call me " you her husband " yes I say ( only a white lie ) "You know her HIV status then?" No Result she has full blown Aids a cd4 count that hardly registers. F all me aor anyone can do just fork out the dosh do she dies with some dignity. I want to smack someone maybe her usless parents who sold her for less than the price of a used telly maybe aom for getting it . I reckon I am going to be on TG916 . What a pile of crap

The End

[Nickerelastic]

richardb, I'm so sorry to hear your friend is so ill.

[thaiflyer1]

richardb sorry to hear the end outcome.

Get yourself checked out a.s.a.p mate.

[the scouser]

I, too, am sorry to hear your news. Pattaya International is where my wife was diagnosed as being HIV positive and their care and attention is excellent.

Scouse.

[cobra]

I fully understand, I also had a Thai friend in Bumrungrad that was seriously ill but could not get in touch directly, found out she almost died.

I felt terrible and quilty for not doing more, as we were once very close.

Good luck and God bless,

[britmaveric]

Richard!!! I was hoping your ex would recover.

[Digger]

Very sad news Richard - If you get this message, I really can only strongly suggest that you get her moved - As I have said before, they have NO specialists in HIV treatment at Pattaya International. Its a good hospital, but they have no medicines and no knowledge of how to use to use them for HIV patients. Its like a GP trying to undertake a complex surgical procedure. No matter how hard they try or how willing they are to suceed, they aint going to pull it off.

You must get her moved to BKK Pattaya or up to Bumrungrad. Bumrungrad will even call to their HIV specialists at 1.00am in the morning for advice on how to handle this from their ER room. I have seen it done. Blood work tests are done in less than 30 minutes and then the specialist doctor will advise what medicines to use. They will likely suggest blood transfussions and drugs to counter the TB.

I am not wishing to sound overly optomistic, but many doctors in Thailand who do not specialise in HIV/AIDS think its a death sentence - the specialists know what can and cannot be done - they handle this everyday and you will be very surprised at what they are capable off. Getting to that care is the most important thing at this stage. I would urge you to try and get this girl to the people I have suggested in my message to you.

Good luck

[slimdog]

Richard, I was very sad to hear your sad news.

Over 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with AIDS. To say the least it was a massive shock. Up until just before then, I considered myself to be fairly healthy, a few minor ailments, which I was always able to put down to my work, which is fairly stressful and draining both physically and mentally. On this occassion I knew I was in a bad way, I was having trouble sleeping, eating far too little and had a shortness of breath along with a few minor ailments . Having been away for 2 months, my wife was worried sick when she met me at the airport, and dragged me to Bumrungrad almost instantly. Early testing (not hiv) revealed little more than fatigue. After my condition had, if anything gotten worse, I was back in Bumrungrad where the x-ray this time revealed the start of pneumonia. The Doctor wanted me to have a hiv test, In her words,"To eliminate that possibility", whilst I thought it a bit of a waste of money, I consented. The result was positive. Due to the time of day, and the fact that we had to pick the kids up from school, we arranged to see a specialist the following day, although they did take more blood from me and my wife.

That evening was a nightmare, I had no idea as to how i became infected, I was worried sick that my wife and children might also be infected, I didn't even know if my wife would stick by me.

The following day we got the results. For my wife the result came back negative. When asked about the kids, the Doctor said we could test them if we wanted, but he was certain they were fine. Wanting to be 100% sure, we asked for testing, an hour later, both negative.

My results were not so good. My CD4 count was down to 8, viral load was measured at 85,000, I had PCP pneumonia, my body weight was down to 65 kg, plus a few other less serious ailments. All in All, I was in the ####.

Over the next month, the Bactrim, the Doctor prescribed for the pneumonia did it's job, slowly but surely the pnemonia receded. The wife's cooking stopped any further weight loss, I even gained 3kg, and I started on ARV medication. The support I received from my wife was nothing short of brilliant. I don't think I could have made it without her.

Today I feel fine, recent tests showed my viral load as un-detectable (<50), my cd4 is rising slowly but surely and is up to 200, I am able to work, although I now take far better care of myself regarding food and rest whenever I am away. My weight is back to a more sensible 75kg.

The Doctor I see at Bumrungrad, has been brilliant, always encouraging, always spending a few minutes speaking to my wife, re-assuring her and offering encouragement. Over the past couple of years he has tried to build up a profile, when I mentioned that I was given a blood transfusion, he asked,"where and when ?" I told him, Paris 1984.His reply shocked me. "Did you know that hundreds if not thousands of people were infected with hiv from blood in Paris during this period".

Today there is no way of confirming, whether or not I did get infected 21 years ago, and if so, why I never passed it onto my wife or children. To be honest I don't care, they are all healthy. My wife has had 3 further hiv tests in the past 2 years, once for confirmation after 3 months and twice for getting health insurance, once for the kids, once for herself, all have come back negative.

For me AIDS is something I live with, I take the medications, I eat as well as I can, I get as much rest as I need, but most importantly, I do so with the full support and encouragement of my family. For the first few months, it was difficult to come to terms with, but as time passed, and I saw myself getting stronger and healthier, I started to think about it less and less. I may have tested positive for hiv, but my wife tested positive for love. Thanks Darling...

[cdnvic]

That's one of the best posts I've read here in a long long time slimdog, thanks.

Richard, all the best, sorry about the news.

cv

[richardb]

I know I said I was not going to post any more but due to a number of very kind pms I wanted to add the following. Its BKK Pattaya she is at not the other one I mentionded previously I was confused this morning. I am going to fight for her. She has no one else. It is not going to be easy but I am going for it .

Stay safe slimdog

Richard

[RDN]

...I may have tested positive for hiv, but my wife tested positive for love. Thanks Darling...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[cobra]

For me AIDS is something I live with, I take the medications, I eat as well as I can, I get as much rest as I need, but most importantly, I do so with the full support and encouragement of my family. For the first few months, it was difficult to come to terms with, but as time passed, and I saw myself getting stronger and healthier, I started to think about it less and less. I may have tested positive for hiv, but my wife tested positive for love. Thanks Darling...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very enlightening and encouraging for others I'm sure, Thanx.

A friend I work with also had a shock when going in to address some minor ailment and was informed he had Hep C, he's now on a liver transplant list.

He suspects he contracted it during a transfusion many years ago. With support of family and friends his spirits are high. Like your great post indicated that can make a huge difference.

[rocky]

I think it is sensible to insure that your inoculations are always upto date, I am aware

that some virus and illness can not be injected against. Safe sex should always be

practised, hard i know, (specially after a drink.)

Becasue of the very natuare of Pattaya it is a very dangours place in many respects

including health.

But life is short and so special,

I wish Richard's friend all dignity and final peace.

Edited September 12, 2005 by rocky

[richardb]

Once again I must thank some forum members who came to our aid. A forum member through his contacts arranged for Aom to be moved from the Bangkok Pattaya to the Camillan Centre in Rayong. This is a great palce and they do brilliant work with children and adults with HIV. I understand Aom was happy when she got there . Unfortunately her small body was not up to it and she passed away with a heart attack yesterday about 3pm UK time. I know she knew I cared and was fighting for her as she texed me shortly before... love you forever and all that. As for me I am all in pieces. I suppose its a cliche but in time.......

Thanks to all those people who helped and I really mean that.

Richard

[chuchok]

Very,very sorry to hear this mate.

[thaiflyer1]

Likewise very sorry.

[Viking]

My sincere condolences.

I followed this thread from the begging and I really hoped that it would turn out to be the “sick buffalo” but it turned out to be the worst possible.

Life is short.

[cdnvic]

Really sorry to hear this Richard. Have some solace in the fact that although alot of people in this situation pass away lonely and forgotten, thanks to you and some unnamed people on this forum the last days of her life were filled with the knowlage that people out there cared about her. Despite the illness, she sounds like you and those others made her last days happier in knowing this.

Thanks to you Richard and everyone who brought her peace and comfort at the end.

cv

[britmaveric]

Once again I must thank some forum members who came to our aid. A forum member through his contacts arranged for Aom to be moved from the Bangkok Pattaya to the Camillan Centre in Rayong. This is a great palce and they do brilliant work with children and adults with HIV. I understand Aom was happy when she got there . Unfortunately her small body was not up to it and she passed away with a heart attack yesterday about 3pm UK time. I know she knew I cared and was fighting for her as she texed me shortly before... love you forever and all that. As for me I am all in pieces. I suppose its a cliche but in time.......

Thanks to all those people who helped and I really mean that.

Richard

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lies are never told on one's death bed - I do believe she meant what she said. I'm sorry it happened this way - I was hoping she would recover, but I guess a little too late. Well at the very least - she won't be suffering any longer. It's good to know there are decent lads out there willing to help!

For your own sake - go get tested.

Edited September 13, 2005 by britmaveric

[Nickerelastic]

My sincere condolences.

[Sir Burr]

My heartfelt condolences on your loss.