Mistakes Farangs Make

[MrsMills]

MIstakes Farangs make,.....

They actually think that their so called western values that are drummed into them from the cradle to the grave have any relevance in Thailand.

The most amazing thing is that they believe these so called values are better, better for who, who knows.

And the major major mistake made is this, Farangs move to Thailand and expect everything to be like it was at home, except the things beneficial to themselves that are unattainable at home, other than that, they complain how terrible it is here cos itr's not like home.

Yup. Although try telling my sister-in-law, who lives in the UK part of the year that Thai values and society are better than British and she'll rip your head off.

No she wouldn't, she's Thai, she wouldn't care.

Edited February 20, 2011 by MrsMills

[MJP]

MIstakes Farangs make,.....

They actually think that their so called western values that are drummed into them from the cradle to the grave have any relevance in Thailand.

The most amazing thing is that they believe these so called values are better, better for who, who knows.

And the major major mistake made is this, Farangs move to Thailand and expect everything to be like it was at home, except the things beneficial to themselves that are unattainable at home, other than that, they complain how terrible it is here cos itr's not like home.

Yup. Although try telling my sister-in-law, who lives in the UK part of the year that Thai values and society are better than British and she'll rip your head off.

No she wouldn't, she's Thai, she wouldn't care.

No, she's quite feisty and forthright and has her very definite and reasoned views on matters and will give you your opinion when she wants it.

[mstribling]

Not a problem of the heart, but a real problem that I see folks make is they continue to relate and value things in their home currency. I tell folks think ฿ on day 1, and stop comparing how much something would cost back home.

[MJP]

Not a problem of the heart, but a real problem that I see folks make is they continue to relate and value things in their home currency. I tell folks think ฿ on day 1, and stop comparing how much something would cost back home.

Exactly right.

Although for the long termers used to a favorable exchange rate, don't just keep thinking 'Oh it's only 2000 Baht', because that's now over 40 quid, 60 dollars etc.

[IanForbes]

Just tell the girls you're a butterfly - this they understand.

Thai girls are not so different from others.

They admire a gentleman but they still sleep with rogues.

That was as true 55 years ago as it is today. I know, I've been there... both as the gentleman and the rogue. I think it's more fun being the rogue, but my old instncts of being a gentleman are still with me. i just wish I knew then what I know now. Wisdom is wasted on the youth.

[travelmann]

Looking at the replies what a sad bunch of people you all are hahhaahahahha

[KRS1]

The biggest mistake farangs make is thinking a girl likes you if she just talks and smiles back.

if no one back home thought of you as 'hansum man' chances are you probably aren't...wakeup

[mca]

The biggest mistake farangs make is thinking a girl likes you if she just talks and smiles back.

if no one back home thought of you as 'hansum man' chances are you probably aren't...wakeup

It is annoying to see some shriveled, scruffy, greasy old twonk trying to " sweet talk " the lady members of staff in somewhere like the Pullman Khon Kaen. They're paid to be polite and smile.

BTW KRS1. You didn't choose your user name in honour of the rapper by any chance did you?

Edited February 21, 2011 by mca

[pjclark1]

Maybe some of the older guys have lived here at a time when the womenfolk came from the "old school" of thought, (if such a term can be likened to LOS). Very fortunate for them, and im sure they are very happy. Its the younger generation i have grave doubts about.

I have a friend who has been here over 30 years, he married a local lady when he first arrived, he was constantly scammed and cheated by her.

Afraid this is a way of life for some Thai ladies and always has been, there is even a Thai saying to warn Thai men about them "Naa Nua, Jai Suer", "pretty but merciless"

It's not only white men that get taken, our defenses are just a little weaker.

Edited February 21, 2011 by pjclark1

[bermondburi]

I'm perfection personified, never made a mistake !

[JPPR2]

There are a few very bitter comments, obviously a lot of posters have been stung. We learn by our mistakes I suppose, I've been married to a Thai for 8 years now, everythings great.

I think the biggest mistake is taking advice from disgruntled ex pats that appear to know every thing.

The above mentioned comment has a lot of merit. You very seldom see people come on a web forum to comment on how great their life is with the women they met. Typically only chapped people come on and post about how their relationship has gone bad.

I question how some men from any foreign country can come over here at 50+ and find that a late teen or early 20's gal is the right woman for them. First they are girls, not women at that age, even more so here in TL. They have little to no life experience. How can anyone expect this to work? What do you talk about? She is still giggling about Facebook posts from her friends and you are doing what?

I agree that there is someone for everybody and I work to understand the Thai/Foreigner relationships everyday. It is dynamic.

I think one big mistake that Foreigners make is coming over here with no plan other then meeting a women. That is a recipe for failure IMO. This is what leads to marriage in a week deal then leads to divorce and broke. You should be here because you want to be here and want to establish yourself. Then you can objectively meet a women.

It is extremely encouraging when someone on this page posts of their good fortune and happiness. The downside is usually the follow on posts are about how he is disillusioned and she will rip him off right away. This shunts hearing good news. 90% of forum posts are negative anyway.

And beyond popular belief, not every gal is or has been a bar girl. For those few that see it that way I recommend sobering up. You will run out of money quickly supporting your local bar. Most men run out of money as they piss it away hangin in bars.

It is very easy to live here for < $1K a month USD. But you have to let go of the belief you need all that western BS. Remember the less you need, the more you have.

[Forethat]

1. Make the mistake of claiming that a BMW gets cheaper if you employ a gardener that speaks TWO languages.

2. Try to justify the statement by telling everybody that the gardener actually speaks THREE languages.

3. Not making a note of how many languages you claimed the gardener speaks

4. Claiming that the gardener speaks FOUR languages.

I can probably think of a few others, but these are the ones that has managed to bring a smile on my face!

[IanForbes]

You very seldom see people come on a web forum to comment on how great their life is with the women they met. Typically only chapped people come on and post about how their relationship has gone bad.

You obviously haven't been reading any of my posts then. I'm always happy. Of course, I intentionally stay single as well.

And, what does any male have in common with any woman in any country? If it wasn't for the first few years when sex is enjoyable, and the desire to raise a family, then there's hardly any reason to get married. You are better off sharing a room with a good mate and discuss sports or what's on the telly. Males have far more in common with other males, just as women have more in common with other women. It doesn't MATTER what age they are. :lol:

[Loz]

1. Make the mistake of claiming that a BMW gets cheaper if you employ a gardener that speaks TWO languages.

2. Try to justify the statement by telling everybody that the gardener actually speaks THREE languages.

3. Not making a note of how many languages you claimed the gardener speaks

4. Claiming that the gardener speaks FOUR languages.

I can probably think of a few others, but these are the ones that has managed to bring a smile on my face!

holding a grudge for a ridiculously long time....

I think the nail has been hit on the head many times in this thread. In summary, don't nail anything unless you are prapared for that nail to make a permenant and infinate hole in your pocket.

additional mistakes include paying 200bht for a tuk tuk from mor chid to khao sarn road.

Edited February 21, 2011 by Loz

[Loz]

I still want to settle down with a nice woman. Don't think it will happen though. Or rather, don't think it could happen. I'm seriously hard work.

[damo]

Only mistake I make is telling those with rose coloured glasses what they dont want to hear.

Thai/ Philipino women don't like men who are old, fat, smell or are ugly. Believe this to be true. Many of them persue relationships for years diliking thier partners. What chioses do they have?

[pjclark1]

Only mistake I make is telling those with rose coloured glasses what they dont want to hear.

Thai/ Philipino women don't like men who are old, fat, smell or are ugly. Believe this to be true. Many of them persue relationships for years diliking thier partners. What chioses do they have?

Those who fulfill their need to tell others unpleasantries are usually considered outcasts.

One wonders why they try to do it.

[F1fanatic]

Only mistake I make is telling those with rose coloured glasses what they dont want to hear.

Thai/ Philipino women don't like men who are old, fat, smell or are ugly. Believe this to be true. Many of them persue relationships for years diliking thier partners. What chioses do they have?

Those who fulfill their need to tell others unpleasantries are usually considered outcasts.

One wonders why they try to do it.

Perhaps because they live here and have some experience and knowledge of the reality.

Some of us (funnily enough) prefer the truth (even if we don't believe it at the time - sad smiley). I admit though, that most don't!

Having said this, in response to Damo, they have many other choices - albeit being un-educated they will be badly paid.

Trying to think of the worst mistake I've made - it was probably to assume that life here would be paradise! We learn the hard way its nothing of the sort, but still better than 'home'.

Edited February 21, 2011 by F1fanatic

[a99az]

I think marriage is a great institution, a mental institution. But joke's a side. It's good for some but not everyone, if you pick the right pice of the puzzle and the two halves match you are lucky. Even so there is always a trade off, sort of give to get deal.

[JPPR2]

You very seldom see people come on a web forum to comment on how great their life is with the women they met. Typically only chapped people come on and post about how their relationship has gone bad.

You obviously haven't been reading any of my posts then. I'm always happy. Of course, I intentionally stay single as well.

And, what does any male have in common with any woman in any country? If it wasn't for the first few years when sex is enjoyable, and the desire to raise a family, then there's hardly any reason to get married. You are better off sharing a room with a good mate and discuss sports or what's on the telly. Males have far more in common with other males, just as women have more in common with other women. It doesn't MATTER what age they are. :lol:

Ian,

I agree hence why I said "seldom". The ratio has to be 95% negative to 5% positive. But it is clearly the nature of the beast on web forums.

I too am single. I waited until I turned 50 mid last year so I could move here on a retirement visa even though I had been here a lot over the last 3 + years. I moved here because I like living in Thailand, it was not about a women. I have much to learn and it is challenging and fun. Marriage is not on my radar. I do not go to any bars(by my choice and not judging people who do). Everyone knows whats there and what the outcome will be. I am enjoying my time here thus far. My intention is to acclimate and live a life here. I have been dating a 37 year old nursing manager in BKK and we get along fantastic. She is a very nice traditional Thai women. Mature, Honest, Hard working. I met her by accident as I bumped into her at the night market and knocked her food out of her hand. I apologized and bought her new food as most spilled. We laughed and that was how it started. She has very nice friends and frequently eat together and they love teaching me Thai as I teach them English. It is a no drama, No buying a family, No Thai husband while I date her. No bar girl BS. Just a nice person.

On edit, Having a good buddy is part of a well rounded life style. I could not live with another guy however. But that is me.

Edited February 21, 2011 by JPPR2

[MJP]

You very seldom see people come on a web forum to comment on how great their life is with the women they met. Typically only chapped people come on and post about how their relationship has gone bad.

You obviously haven't been reading any of my posts then. I'm always happy. Of course, I intentionally stay single as well.

And, what does any male have in common with any woman in any country? If it wasn't for the first few years when sex is enjoyable, and the desire to raise a family, then there's hardly any reason to get married. You are better off sharing a room with a good mate and discuss sports or what's on the telly. Males have far more in common with other males, just as women have more in common with other women. It doesn't MATTER what age they are. :lol:

Ian,

I agree hence why I said "seldom". The ratio has to be 95% negative to 5% positive. But it is clearly the nature of the beast on web forums.

I too am single. I waited until I turned 50 mid last year so I could move here on a retirement visa even though I had been here a lot over the last 3 + years. I moved here because I like living in Thailand, it was not about a women. I have much to learn and it is challenging and fun. Marriage is not on my radar. I do not go to any bars(by my choice and not judging people who do). Everyone knows whats there and what the outcome will be. I am enjoying my time here thus far. My intention is to acclimate and live a life here. I have been dating a 37 year old nursing manager in BKK and we get along fantastic. She is a very nice traditional Thai women. Mature, Honest, Hard working. I met her by accident as I bumped into her at the night market and knocked her food out of her hand. I apologized and bought her new food as most spilled. We laughed and that was how it started. She has very nice friends and frequently eat together and they love teaching me Thai as I teach them English. It is a no drama, No buying a family, No Thai husband while I date her. No bar girl BS. Just a nice person.

That's the right attitude and a model example of how to live here.

[JiveTalker]

Mistakes Farangs Make: Referring to themselves as Farang !

Exactly. Makes me cringe every time I hear a foreigner referring to themselves in this way.

[F1fanatic]

You very seldom see people come on a web forum to comment on how great their life is with the women they met. Typically only chapped people come on and post about how their relationship has gone bad.

You obviously haven't been reading any of my posts then. I'm always happy. Of course, I intentionally stay single as well.

And, what does any male have in common with any woman in any country? If it wasn't for the first few years when sex is enjoyable, and the desire to raise a family, then there's hardly any reason to get married. You are better off sharing a room with a good mate and discuss sports or what's on the telly. Males have far more in common with other males, just as women have more in common with other women. It doesn't MATTER what age they are. :lol:

Ian,

I agree hence why I said "seldom". The ratio has to be 95% negative to 5% positive. But it is clearly the nature of the beast on web forums.

I too am single. I waited until I turned 50 mid last year so I could move here on a retirement visa even though I had been here a lot over the last 3 + years. I moved here because I like living in Thailand, it was not about a women. I have much to learn and it is challenging and fun. Marriage is not on my radar. I do not go to any bars(by my choice and not judging people who do). Everyone knows whats there and what the outcome will be. I am enjoying my time here thus far. My intention is to acclimate and live a life here. I have been dating a 37 year old nursing manager in BKK and we get along fantastic. She is a very nice traditional Thai women. Mature, Honest, Hard working. I met her by accident as I bumped into her at the night market and knocked her food out of her hand. I apologized and bought her new food as most spilled. We laughed and that was how it started. She has very nice friends and frequently eat together and they love teaching me Thai as I teach them English. It is a no drama, No buying a family, No Thai husband while I date her. No bar girl BS. Just a nice person.

That's the right attitude and a model example of how to live here.

True, as long as you believe a 50 year old came here without any intention of finding a woman....

Forgive me for finding that a bit unlikely.

Meanwhile, he's convinced all her friends are wonderful (not whispering in her ear the best way to fleece a farang) and because she hasn't asked (yet) for him to pay money to her family - I'm assuming he hasn't known her long - that she's not at all interested in his money. Unlikely to say the least.

[pjclark1]

Some of us (funnily enough) prefer the truth (even if we don't believe it at the time - sad smiley). I admit though, that most don't!

The mistake some western women make is thinking that men require anything from a woman except a regular shag.

The mistake some young western men make is to think a woman cares any more for them than they do for an old man.

(in fact some Thai ladies have expressed a preference for old men, as they let them sleep longer and feed them more)

Of course many older men have come to realise that love is a fantasy forced upon them by women that they have to go along with in order to get a regular shag.

(and don't actually care about the truth, or anything else for that matter, as long as they are getting that regular shag)

The mistake I made was not becoming a homosexual at age 18, I would have been incredibly wealthy by now, and probably have lived a much happier life.

Let's face it, if they had ladyboys in the western world (of similar quality to Thai ladyboys), marriage in the western world would be dead and buried (along with divorce lawyers)

Edited February 21, 2011 by pjclark1

[F1fanatic]

Some of us (funnily enough) prefer the truth (even if we don't believe it at the time - sad smiley). I admit though, that most don't!

The mistake some western women make is thinking that men require anything from a woman except a regular shag.

The mistake some young western men make is to think a woman cares any more for them than they do for an old man.

Of course many older men have come to realise that love is a fantasy forced upon them by women that they have to go along with in order to get a regular shag.

(and don't actually care about the truth, or anything else for that matter, as long as they are getting that regular shag)

Have to agree with most of your post . But, not everything. My ex husband was desperate to get close to me again (after the initial vitriol had been exchanged between us), - he desperately needed a life-time friend he could trust.

Shagging is the be all and end all if you're a man - until they realise they actually need someone that they can trust implicitly, talk to intelligently, etc.

Having said this, it depends on the man - one of my best friends has no need for this real, human relationship with a partner, he is able to get this from his friends.

[pjclark1]

Meanwhile, he's convinced all her friends are wonderful (not whispering in her ear the best way to fleece a farang) and because she hasn't asked (yet) for him to pay money to her family - I'm assuming he hasn't known her long - that she's not at all interested in his money. Unlikely to say the least.

Here, I can totally agree with you.

The biggest mistake any man can make, is thinking his one is different.

(and it doesn't matter what country any of the participants come from)

[F1fanatic]

Meanwhile, he's convinced all her friends are wonderful (not whispering in her ear the best way to fleece a farang) and because she hasn't asked (yet) for him to pay money to her family - I'm assuming he hasn't known her long - that she's not at all interested in his money. Unlikely to say the least.

Here, I can totally agree with you.

The biggest mistake any man can make, is thinking his one is different.

(and it doesn't matter what country any of the participants come from)

Yes, but what they are whispering in her ear depends on the culture!

Coming from the UK, the 'normal' women I met (not the gold-diggers who are a tiny minority), were looking for love, nothing else.

But yes, I did know one gold-digger - and she was seen as such by everybody, and not respected...

Edited February 21, 2011 by F1fanatic

[JPPR2]

You very seldom see people come on a web forum to comment on how great their life is with the women they met. Typically only chapped people come on and post about how their relationship has gone bad.

You obviously haven't been reading any of my posts then. I'm always happy. Of course, I intentionally stay single as well.

And, what does any male have in common with any woman in any country? If it wasn't for the first few years when sex is enjoyable, and the desire to raise a family, then there's hardly any reason to get married. You are better off sharing a room with a good mate and discuss sports or what's on the telly. Males have far more in common with other males, just as women have more in common with other women. It doesn't MATTER what age they are. :lol:

Ian,

I agree hence why I said "seldom". The ratio has to be 95% negative to 5% positive. But it is clearly the nature of the beast on web forums.

I too am single. I waited until I turned 50 mid last year so I could move here on a retirement visa even though I had been here a lot over the last 3 + years. I moved here because I like living in Thailand, it was not about a women. I have much to learn and it is challenging and fun. Marriage is not on my radar. I do not go to any bars(by my choice and not judging people who do). Everyone knows whats there and what the outcome will be. I am enjoying my time here thus far. My intention is to acclimate and live a life here. I have been dating a 37 year old nursing manager in BKK and we get along fantastic. She is a very nice traditional Thai women. Mature, Honest, Hard working. I met her by accident as I bumped into her at the night market and knocked her food out of her hand. I apologized and bought her new food as most spilled. We laughed and that was how it started. She has very nice friends and frequently eat together and they love teaching me Thai as I teach them English. It is a no drama, No buying a family, No Thai husband while I date her. No bar girl BS. Just a nice person.

That's the right attitude and a model example of how to live here.

True, as long as you believe a 50 year old came here without any intention of finding a woman....

Forgive me for finding that a bit unlikely.

Meanwhile, he's convinced all her friends are wonderful (not whispering in her ear the best way to fleece a farang) and because she hasn't asked (yet) for him to pay money to her family - I'm assuming he hasn't known her long - that she's not at all interested in his money. Unlikely to say the least.

F1,

Being honest I did not rule out meeting a women, just was not going to be my driving motivator. Besides why would I not want to date? As far as the women I am dating( I am only stating this to stop all the nay sayers), Her Mom passed away 6 years ago in Feb. I went to the temple with her and sister to offer prayer. Her Dad is quite ill and may not last through the year. She has not asked me for anything and in fact she pays for a lot and insists. She told me she does this so it is clear that it is not about the stigma of a western man and his money. We do dutch a lot. I have my own condo, she has hers. She has 1 sister who is married with a wonderful daughter and they live in Autthaya and both parents work hard and own a home. I have met them and they are just very nice people. Thats it for extended family. I do not have a car and she does and she has offered it to me anywhere anytime. I just take her to work(Thats if I need it). Used it a couple of times.

So thats it. again. A simple encounter. A nice Thai women. No hidden agenda. Her work schedule is a lot as Nurses do, so she does her thing, I do mine.

[F1fanatic]

I was agreeing until the bit about going to the temple for prayer. You must know about 'merit making' here - i.e. you can behave as badly as you like as long as you offer merit to the monks....

Mind you, it sounds as if you may have found a woman who is genuinely as well-off as yourself.

I wish you nothing but good luck.

[IanForbes]

I too am single. I waited until I turned 50 mid last year so I could move here on a retirement visa even though I had been here a lot over the last 3 + years. I moved here because I like living in Thailand, it was not about a women. I have much to learn and it is challenging and fun. Marriage is not on my radar. I do not go to any bars(by my choice and not judging people who do). Everyone knows whats there and what the outcome will be. I am enjoying my time here thus far. My intention is to acclimate and live a life here. I have been dating a 37 year old nursing manager in BKK and we get along fantastic. She is a very nice traditional Thai women. Mature, Honest, Hard working. I met her by accident as I bumped into her at the night market and knocked her food out of her hand. I apologized and bought her new food as most spilled. We laughed and that was how it started. She has very nice friends and frequently eat together and they love teaching me Thai as I teach them English. It is a no drama, No buying a family, No Thai husband while I date her. No bar girl BS. Just a nice person.

Being honest I did not rule out meeting a women, just was not going to be my driving motivator. Besides why would I not want to date? As far as the women I am dating( I am only stating this to stop all the nay sayers), Her Mom passed away 6 years ago in Feb. I went to the temple with her and sister to offer prayer. Her Dad is quite ill and may not last through the year. She has not asked me for anything and in fact she pays for a lot and insists. She told me she does this so it is clear that it is not about the stigma of a western man and his money. We do dutch a lot. I have my own condo, she has hers. She has 1 sister who is married with a wonderful daughter and they live in Autthaya and both parents work hard and own a home. I have met them and they are just very nice people. Thats it for extended family. I do not have a car and she does and she has offered it to me anywhere anytime. I just take her to work(Thats if I need it). Used it a couple of times.

So thats it. again. A simple encounter. A nice Thai women. No hidden agenda. Her work schedule is a lot as Nurses do, so she does her thing, I do mine.

That is a very nice story, JPPR2. I hope everything turns out well for you. It is the strange, chance encounters that always amaze me and somehow seem predestined... even though I'm not a religious person.

I often wonder about those strange happenings. I occasionally get down a bit with some of my lady friends, and then, something nice happens. Just as one walks out the door or breaks a date, another gives me a phone call and wants to get in touch. I just let it happen and have no explanation as to why.