Mistakes Farangs Make

[geriatrickid]

Buying conditioner instead of shampoo. I really wish they'd label them clearly in English

I was told to buy a specific brand, but I believe it's over priced, thought I'd save 150 baht, and instead bought laundry soap, because the bottle looked right. It was on special at carrefour. Boy did I get a puzzled look and well you know the rest. ( I Learnt my lesson. )

[MAJIC]

Forgetting to leave your Rose Tinted Spectacles,back in your own Country, before you came.

Whats up Majic? had a bad experience? its not all bad surely.

Not all bad of course,in fact for the most part very good, happy experiences. But unlike some naive posters on here,I have no illusions that Thailand is Paradise either!

Leave the Rose Tinted Spectacles at home,be very wary,and keep an open mind,until such times as some experience,and knowledge is earned.

Thailand for most of us, is a constant learning process,

Edited February 19, 2011 by MAJIC

[Ijustwannateach]

^As is life itself!!! There have been so many of these threads.... I still say one of the best places for straight men to seek good partners is *where they work*- i.e., to be employed and have real people working around them, or to look for such people in their work environments. The number of times a (female) dentist assistant or doc's office staff lady have flirted with me quite obviously.... it is hard for me to fathom why any reasonably decent and functional straight men have any problems here.

[Jingthing]

I bought some bread at Tops to use as bread but it tasted like cake. That was a mistake!

[clausewitz]

^As is life itself!!! There have been so many of these threads.... I still say one of the best places for straight men to seek good partners is *where they work*- i.e., to be employed and have real people working around them, or to look for such people in their work environments. The number of times a (female) dentist assistant or doc's office staff lady have flirted with me quite obviously.... it is hard for me to fathom why any reasonably decent and functional straight men have any problems here.

A couple of my old bargirlfriends from a few years back now work in respectable jobs ...

The fact that they slept with a few hundred men puts me off taking them on but I guess they are not technically 'bargirls"

[raro]

The biggest mistake that farangs make is assuming or pretending any of this is real.

I mean, TG meets farang and decides she love him after a matter of days (even minutes) <deleted>

The kindest thing that can be said about most farang/thai relationships is that they are RENTALS. Understand that, and up to you if you want to play along, but remember once the money dries up you will be bounced out the door as quick as a honeymooners undies .

ahemmm....are you sure??

[mstribling]

Sweating all the small stuff.

Such a mistake.

[MJP]

There are a few very bitter comments, obviously a lot of posters have been stung. We learn by our mistakes I suppose, I've been married to a Thai for 8 years now, everythings great.

I think the biggest mistake is taking advice from disgruntled ex pats that appear to know every thing.

I happen to know someone who has been married to a Thai lady for 8 years.

This Thai lady has a Thai husband in Bangkok, and is doing a long term scam.

I'm sure it isn't your wife thought.

Yup.

Know that one well.

Quite a few of the married women round here are also married to a westerner, they're open about it, we have these conversations about this and the Thai husband is sat there too, nodding and agreeing!

Problem comes when westy decides he's going to Thailand permanently and what then? Well, murder in some cases.

[salty]

Not reading Money No 1.

[bifftastic]

The kindest thing that can be said about most farang/thai relationships is that they are RENTALS. Understand that, and up to you if you want to play along, but remember once the money dries up you will be bounced out the door as quick as a honeymooners undies .

Unlike in the west, where there are long lines of women, just waiting to find a man who hasn't got any money?

[janverbeem]

The biggest mistake that farangs make is assuming or pretending any of this is real.

I mean, TG meets farang and decides she love him after a matter of days (even minutes) <deleted>

The kindest thing that can be said about most farang/thai relationships is that they are RENTALS. Understand that, and up to you if you want to play along, but remember once the money dries up you will be bounced out the door as quick as a honeymooners undies .

ahemmm....are you sure??

Is that an inquiry?

[WarpSpeed]

There is somebody for everybody!

Maybe 2 0r 3 or even ten ...

[WarpSpeed]

There are a few very bitter comments, obviously a lot of posters have been stung. We learn by our mistakes I suppose, I've been married to a Thai for 8 years now, everythings great.

I think the biggest mistake is taking advice from disgruntled ex pats that appear to know every thing.

I don't see anything wrong with taking advice from them as long as you balance with it other opinions and then form your own conclusions based on something in the middle.. They have after all learned their lessons the hard way it's silly just to dismiss that out of hand as then you're destined to follow down the same path and then say "I've been duped! No one ever told me!"...

[geriatrickid]

I bought some bread at Tops to use as bread but it tasted like cake. That was a mistake!

So true, the looks good but is horrible scenario. I'm an impulse buyer and when I hit the grocery store I have a list of items in my head I need, but I also end up buying a lot of things that catch my fancy. So many of the food products look good but are either too sweet or too salty once you try them.

The other mistake is the general/hardware store visit. I don't know why I do it, but I go in for one small item and I come out with other things. Why oh why do I have no self control. Thailand is very dangerous for people lie me. Oh it's only a few hundred baht, bah, why not buy it? An hour later, I realize its useless and poorly made. To the trash it goes. Yes, I am stoopid.

[IanForbes]

Same old topic in a different wrapper.

[wintermute]

Everyone on thaivisa dates chinese-thai astrophysicists...so what are you talking about???

[newsite12]

My gf is ACTUALLY a university educated person with a masters degree in business studies and accountancy. She hates bars, never drinks, nor her family, and she is of Chinese hi-so origin.... Honest.

[PingManDan]

Like the old song by (I think the Coasters) "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife") but not your Gik

[473geo]

I bought some bread at Tops to use as bread but it tasted like cake. That was a mistake!

I agree Jing, food, I bought some cheese just the normal processed slices...... threw it out...... nobody including myself could eat it.....yep a mistake

[MJP]

I bought some bread at Tops to use as bread but it tasted like cake. That was a mistake!

I agree Jing, food, I bought some cheese just the normal processed slices...... threw it out...... nobody including myself could eat it.....yep a mistake

We could make cheese you know. Proper mature cheddar and wotnot. Real breads too and good vino. I've enough land for olive groves here. I think it'd be rude not to, there's a big market for real food here that's never seen the inside of a processing plant and MSG dosing machine.

Then we'd be sorted.

Anyone got the recipe for Branston Original?

[ozzieovaseas]

The biggest mistake that farangs make is assuming or pretending any of this is real.

I mean, TG meets farang and decides she love him after a matter of days (even minutes) <deleted>

The kindest thing that can be said about most farang/thai relationships is that they are RENTALS. Understand that, and up to you if you want to play along, but remember once the money dries up you will be bounced out the door as quick as a honeymooners undies .

ahemmm....are you sure??

Peace mate!!..i did say "most"

I have met a good few lucky punters who are married to very decent, more traditional types of Thai women and are quite happy. From memory of your posts i think you fall into this category?

Maybe some of the older guys have lived here at a time when the womenfolk came from the "old school" of thought, (if such a term can be likened to LOS). Very fortunate for them, and im sure they are very happy. Its the younger generation i have grave doubts about.

As far as im concerned i do not consider myself jaded or bitter, but i guess its a matter of coming to a stage of acceptance of how it is.

Even Thai girls now in their 30's seem to have a distorted view of what is reality and what they can/should expect out of marriage with a farang. In the early days i scratched my head wondering how some of these people would think a foriener would simply hand over his hard earned life savings for a house he can't own, for a future that is actually no gaurantee of ever being a future, all to someone hes known for a few months AND whom he can't even really communicate with....And then keep financing them and half of their family FOR LIFE, on the presumption that money is some sort of endless commodity that magically spews out of an ATM at whim.

It still baffles me actually, but i now have Thai friends of both genders who have made very derogatory comments about the attitudes of some of the Isaan types we meet in Bangkok. Words to effect that some have no education and have never really worked (and don't want to as long as they can bag a farang), hence they have no idea of the real world and how hard it is to earn the sort of money they think should be just freely given to them. I've heard it over and over actually so many times since i've learned Thai im not even suprised anymore.

Again, if you have a sensible,trustworthy wife who thinks in realistic terms and you have been married for years....you've hit gold and kudos to you, i am truelly envious :jap:

I guess the rest of us can consider ourselves lucky to be able to indulge in what is a neverending dating game. Gotta appreciate Ian Forbes comments to the effect that back home you can't even get a date and the date that you can't get, you wouldnt even want anyway

edit: toning down of comments in retrospect :jap:

Edited February 19, 2011 by ozzieovaseas

[chooch7]

"and guys take the ugliest ones around"

think hard guy.................why do you think that is!

[HeavyDrinker]

Everyone on thaivisa dates chinese-thai ...so what are you talking about???

How true, but you forgot to mention the 'her dad owns half of Bangkok' line....

The fact is we all make mistakes - myself on a daily basis (so my missus keeps telling me) - after 20 years here.

The bottom line is that I'm not Thai, will never be taken for a Thai, and therefore find that Thais are continually understanding and accepting of the 'mistakes' I make.

I met my wife at University in London many years ago and she wanted to return here to work so I came too after getting a placement here, She told me that it would be unlike life in the West but that Thais are tolerant of 'mistakes' we make and I've found that to be the case. bless 'em!

I argued then (and still do) however, that many of my 'mistakes' are NOT mistakes, but simply a different way of doing things; which she is coming round to accepting slowly...

However I feel that this thread is not about social faux pas but mistakes in the realms of love.

All I can say is that some folk have to keep going back time and again to the tree to find an apple that tastes good to them, some find the right one first time around. Such is life in ANY country on this beautiful Earth my friends.

If I'd have known then how that shy giggling girl I met in London in the sleet of a Bloomsbury January, all bundled up against the cold with just a beaming smile shining through would have turned out, I'd have married her a million times out of a million...apart from when she eats her noodle soup of a morning - it sounds like an elephant bathing.

[Madivad]

A great post HD. Enjoyed reading it but can't help to comment:

The fact is we all make mistakes - myself on a daily basis (so my missus keeps telling me) - after 20 years here.

The bottom line is that I'm not Thai, will never be taken for a Thai, and therefore find that Thais are continually understanding and accepting of the 'mistakes' I make.

I met my wife at University in London many years ago and she wanted to return here to work so I came too after getting a placement here, She told me that it would be unlike life in the West but that Thais are tolerant of 'mistakes' we make and I've found that to be the case. bless 'em!

I argued then (and still do) however, that many of my 'mistakes' are NOT mistakes, but simply a different way of doing things; which she is coming round to accepting slowly...

and after 20 years! Mate, that's what I call VERY slowly

And I have to agree too. And in this case, we BOTH (Thai and farlung) are making the 'mistake'. Something I've found over (my short) time in Thailand, we each have a diversity of cultures and it's wrong to think that 'our way' of doing things is the only way, or even 'the best' way. Just because we (or they) do it differently, doesn't make anyone wrong. Albeit that I feel I am more malleable and come around to their thinking - afterall I am living in their country.

However I feel that this thread is not about social faux pas but mistakes in the realms of love.

All I can say is that some folk have to keep going back time and again to the tree to find an apple that tastes good to them, some find the right one first time around. Such is life in ANY country on this beautiful Earth my friends.

some apples appear rotten on the outside and have a great inner taste/beauty. Some fall off and others are picked from branches all over the place. Expensive. And cheap. There are many variables. I love this tree called Thailand (well, I'm happily married now - she's happy and I'm married -- my mistake?), but this tree is forever bringing out new fruits for us to experience.

If I'd have known then how that shy giggling girl I met in London in the sleet of a Bloomsbury January, all bundled up against the cold with just a beaming smile shining through would have turned out, I'd have married her a million times out of a million...

love the story and just highlights the fact that it's all possible. Well done HD and congrats to the both of you. Side thought, you sound happy, but is she? JK)

apart from when she eats her noodle soup of a morning - it sounds like an elephant bathing.

ROFL Couldn't agree more.

I love thai food, even some Issan food. But the smell of some also is a big turn off!

Anyway, back to it. Good to read a post such as this that doesn't contain the usual dribble of anti-thai sentiments.

My mistake (today): trying to edit this post on an iPhone!

Today's second mistake (according to TV): too many blocks of quoted text! Doh!

[IanForbes]

Although my original reply... "Same old topic in a different wrapper." still holds true, it always makes interesting reading. And, especially when I read something like Heavydrinker''s post.

In affairs of the heart we all have tales to tell. I have told many in the past in thaivisa. I won't repeat them. Everyone has a different perspective that comes from personal experiences.

[billd766]

I bought some bread at Tops to use as bread but it tasted like cake. That was a mistake!

I agree Jing, food, I bought some cheese just the normal processed slices...... threw it out...... nobody including myself could eat it.....yep a mistake

We could make cheese you know. Proper mature cheddar and wotnot. Real breads too and good vino. I've enough land for olive groves here. I think it'd be rude not to, there's a big market for real food here that's never seen the inside of a processing plant and MSG dosing machine.

Then we'd be sorted.

Anyone got the recipe for Branston Original?

I make my own bread (with a bread making machine), sausages and bacon but I really need a hand slicer to cut it a bit thinner.

I refuse to pay 17,xxx baht for an electric one.

[qwertz]

Just tell the girls you're a butterfly - this they understand.

Thai girls are not so different from others.

They admire a gentleman but they still sleep with rogues.

Edited February 20, 2011 by qwertz

[dominique355]

The mistake is actually caring what a Thai thinks about the looks of a woman I'm with.

Oh so true!

It seems like many Caucasians go through distinct phases in their relationship with Thai women:

1. Fascinated by the first girl they see, often a bar girl from Isaan

2. Falling in love with her, perhaps even marry her.

3. Realizing that Thai men find dark-skin girls ugly and starting to feel ashamed for his own girl.

4. Believing that Thai men "know" what real beauty is: white skin, a bit chubby, baby's face, under 25 of age.

5. Trying to climb up the ladder and date Thai Hi-So, Thai-Chinese girls, but not able to get in contact with them.

6. Finally, not giving a rat's ass for other people's opinion about your girl, feeling secure and developing real love.

The OP seems to have reached stage 3.

[MrsMills]

MIstakes Farangs make,.....

They actually think that their so called western values that are drummed into them from the cradle to the grave have any relevance in Thailand.

The most amazing thing is that they believe these so called values are better, better for who, who knows.

And the major major mistake made is this, Farangs move to Thailand and expect everything to be like it was at home, except the things beneficial to themselves that are unattainable at home, other than that, they complain how terrible it is here cos itr's not like home.

[MJP]

MIstakes Farangs make,.....

They actually think that their so called western values that are drummed into them from the cradle to the grave have any relevance in Thailand.

The most amazing thing is that they believe these so called values are better, better for who, who knows.

And the major major mistake made is this, Farangs move to Thailand and expect everything to be like it was at home, except the things beneficial to themselves that are unattainable at home, other than that, they complain how terrible it is here cos itr's not like home.

Yup. Although try telling my sister-in-law, who lives in the UK part of the year that Thai values and society are better than British and she'll rip your head off. Gave an enlightening account once of Thai society, drew comparisons to the UK and longs to be British.

I dunno. Grass is always greener, for everyone everywhere everywhen.

Me? I'm happy if the mower starts either here or in Blighty. If you ignore all the society and culture nonsense and just deal with everyday practical issues, nowheres that bad.