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A woman arrives at the divorce court and the judge asks; Are you hear about a divorce?

Woman; yes your honor.

Judge; what briefs do you have?

Woman; sir my underware has nothing to do with this.

Judge; well what are your grounds?

Woman; we have a little over 10 acres with a nice 3 bedroom house.

Judge; are you properly prepared?

Woman; oh yes your honor we plowed the property in the spring, then planted seeds and now we have a good crop of soy beans.

Judge; surely you must believe you have a good case?

Woman; no your honor we have a very good John Deer.

Judge; then you must have a grudge?

Woman; yes your honor we have 2 a big one and a double one.

Judge; you have a big grudge and a double grudge?

Woman; yes your honor we keep the John Deer and the big grudge.

Judge; you must have a strong motivation to come here.

Woman; No we don’t but we have a Toyota and a Ford, I drive the Toyota and he drives the Ford, we keep them in the double grudge.

Judge; well there must be some serious issue?

Woman; Oh yes we have a boy and a girl.

Judge; do you have budgetary problems?

Woman; no we don’t have birds only a cat and a dog.

Judge; is he an adulterer?

Woman; of course he is an adulterer you don’t think I would be married to a child do you.

Judge; is he a philanderer?

Woman; no he is an Anglican same as me.

Judge; is he a pedophile?

Woman; Oh no he’s an accountant but he works around the property on the weekends.

Judge; is he a nagger?

Woman; no he’s a white man.

Judge; does he ever beat you up?

Woman; only when he goes to play golf.

Judge; ah so he beats you up when he goes to play golf?

Woman; yes that’s right every other time I get out of bed first.

Judge; lady why do you want a divorce?

Woman; Oh I don’t want a divorce my husband wants a divorce.

Judge; why does your husband want a divorce?

Woman; because he says he can’t communicate with me.

DIVORCE GRANTED

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