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Just Curious, How Many Of Us Ladies Have Kids?

sbk

By sbk
in Family and Children

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sbk Star Member

sbk

Posted
Posted

We are childless by choice, lots of reasons:

My husband does not want kids.

I am not particularly bothered to not have them (someone forgot to turn on that supposed biological clock).

IF we had kids i would prefer to move back home as I don't believe in sending my kids away to a boarding school for someone else to raise and the schools where I live are absolutely terrible.

Interference: I witnessed it with many of my farang female friends; family interference or neighbors, and much criticism about differing child rearing methods (from the food they eat to how long their hair is!)I am not so nice as my friends and I would say something thus causing much friction.

Happy with our lives the way they are, not particularly wishing to change (this goes for both of us).

So, what about the rest of the ladies living in Thailand? Single, married, children, childless?

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sbk Star Member

sbk

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Yeah, the one friend without family interference was lucky 'cause her in-laws lived over on Samui. Bit too far for interference. I live right next door to my brother-in-law and his wife and about 2k from the parents inlaw. Of the 41 first cousins my husband has I'd say at least half live within a 7km area. that isn't counting the 30 + aunts & uncles, second cousins, parent's cousins (considered like an aunt or uncle) then the neighbors, local fishermen etc etc etc. I see it with my (thai) neighbors kids, I've seen it with my friends. I probably wouldn't have much problem with my parents in law as they are quite sensible people but it is the rest of the gazillion relatives that would be a problem.

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the scouser Ruby Member

the scouser

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Interference

Sorry to hijack your thread, ladies, but Mrs Scouse is pregnant, and it is the potential for interference from my mother (an ex-midwife) which is concerning me. In order to obviate any conflict, I've already spoken to her and explained that the child is my wife's and that whereas we'll be happy for my mother to interact with her grandchild, any decision with regard to the child's upbringing is ultimately Mrs Scouse's. So fingers crossed..........

Scouse.

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sbk Star Member

sbk

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Does your mother-in-law typically interfere in your lives anyway? If so, good luck 'cause your wife will not openly go against her mother. I've had issues with my mother-in-law and my husband has had problems with his mother as well and it took many years for him to tell her to back off. I got my message across many years ago when she attempted to interfere in our relationship (telling me that i should tell my husband not to play snooker, when he only does it for fun and doesn't gamble anyway!) when I told her in no uncertain terms that I did not care if he played snooker as he wasn't gambling. She tried again and I said very very clearly "I do not care". That was the last time she tried to tell me how to work our marriage.

Congrats Scouse, hope it all works out!!!!!

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IvanLaw Silver Member

IvanLaw

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Sorry to hijack your thread, ladies, but Mrs Scouse is pregnant, and it is the potential for interference from my mother (an ex-midwife) which is concerning me. In order to obviate any conflict, I've already spoken to her and explained that the child is my wife's and that whereas we'll be happy for my mother to interact with her grandchild, any decision with regard to the child's upbringing is ultimately Mrs Scouse's. So fingers crossed..........

Scouse.

Married to my Thai wife, :D

I have children from previous marriage (UK)

They are 33 & 32 so now the joys of grand children,

(Spoil them then give back.) :D:o

My wife has 1 son (Thai) now 21

So no problems, just the joy of enjoying each other

PS

CONGRATULATIONS. & GOOD LUCK SCOUS

Ivan

:D

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the scouser Ruby Member

the scouser

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Thanks for the best wishes. The potential interference comes from my mother. She is well meaning, but sometimes overbearing and I can envisage a potential clash between her and Mrs Scouse over what's best for the child. Also, if you tell her to back off, she gets offended. We'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Scouse.

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seonai Platinum Member

seonai

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Hi guys and gals, well my situation is this. I gave birth to a half Thai son nearly 11 years ago. He remained with me until he was 8 years old and then his Thai father, whom I divorced a long time ago stole him. So for two years he was with his father's family in Issaan while his dad was having a ball in the UK and I was helpless to get my son back. Then I decided to just go up there and take him. We now live together peacefully, but it's a constant worry about educayion and the future.

Sorry if this does not really answer the question, but it's a little insight into possible happenings. By the way, the British Embassy did nothing to help me and my son, nothing.

Seonai

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opothai Silver Member

opothai

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Hi guys and gals, well my situation is this. I gave birth to a half Thai son nearly 11 years ago. He remained with me until he was 8 years old and then his Thai father, whom I divorced a long time ago stole him. So for two years he was with his father's family in Issaan while his dad was having a ball in the UK and I was helpless to get my son back. Then I decided to just go up there and take him. We now live together peacefully, but it's a constant worry about educayion and the future.

Sorry if this does not really answer the question, but it's a little insight into possible happenings. By the way, the British Embassy did nothing to help me and my son, nothing.

Seonai

tell us why the british embassy should help you

you choose to live in thailand you had a thai husband

i don't understand

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too true Advanced Member

too true

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Married. Two kids. Both boys - 4 1/2 and 1 1/2. When my first son was born, my husband called his mother to come up from the village to help out. She brought her older sister with her. After 4 days and endless torture about how I should only be eating sticky rice and barbecued pork, and then telling me I couldn't eat ripe mango because my uterus wouldn't shrink back to its normal size, I said to my husband "if they don't leave here soon, i'm checking into a hotel and taking the baby with me." They were gone the next day, although I don't know quite how he handled the situation. When our second son was born, she didn't come up at all. No interference whatsoever. When we go to visit his mom, if the family tries to tell me I'm doing this or that wrong with the boys, or if I don't let the boys eat ice cream for breakfast like some of the other kids, I just tell them that if they want another child to worry about and take care of, they are quite capable of having their own, but these are mine and no chocolate for breakfast! I smile when I say it and they don't take offence. I'm not sure if they've accepted me or given up on me :o

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sbk Star Member

sbk

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Hi guys and gals, well my situation is this. I gave birth to a half Thai son nearly 11 years ago. He remained with me until he was 8 years old and then his Thai father, whom I divorced a long time ago stole him. So for two years he was with his father's family in Issaan while his dad was having a ball in the UK and I was helpless to get my son back. Then I decided to just go up there and take him. We now live together peacefully, but it's a constant worry about educayion and the future.

Sorry if this does not really answer the question, but it's a little insight into possible happenings. By the way, the British Embassy did nothing to help me and my son, nothing.

Seonai

tell us why the british embassy should help you

you choose to live in thailand you had a thai husband

i don't understand

Re read the post opothai before getting on your high horse. They were divorced and he kidnapped the boy. Do you think that is bad enough for the British embassy to help?

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naomisri Advanced Member

naomisri

Posted
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I'm married to a Thai man and am pregnant with my first baby. Don't yet know if it's a boy or girl. All of the women here keep trying to convince me to have a girl. I keep telling them that it's a done deal and that it was never up to me anyway (the husband takes care of that part), but they keep selling the girl idea to me...!

I also have a 13 year old step-son who grew up with just his Dad around (and I sometimes suspect he would like it that way again!). He's going to have to learn to share even more when the little bean arrives...

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Khun Jean Platinum Member

Khun Jean

Posted
Posted

Married with a Thai wife and 2 children. 3yo girl and 2yo son.

Thai people are very kind and want to smother all children. Give them lots of attention and cookies and candy. Anything they want.

Sounds great, but you will end up with obnoxious and unhealthy (fat) children.

The struggle is difficult sometimes. Now i accept the chocolats and cookies and chips etc... and tell i will give it to them later after dinner/luch whatever.... Most of it ends up in the bin. It is difficult sometimes because most see absolutely no harm in stuffing a kid with sugar and fat. It is even 'na rak' when they are 'pompooi'???

Family members are already turned around after some "education" with books and articles to convince them, but friends and neighbours....

My children love to eat fresh fruit and vegetables, the more they are 'seduced' by fatty and sugary things the more difficult it will be to kep them on the healthy food. Getting fat easily is in my family so, better give them a better start. Not extreme but moderate.

Second thing i had problems with is the amount of control children are allowed over their parents. I am not having anything of this. Mother and father are the boss, not the other way around.

When it is breakfast/luch/dinner time, we eat together at the same time at a table. Not go running around after children with a spoon and beg them to eat. Also they have to eat by themselves now they are old enough. So no more spoon feeding. These things are normal for a "western" person but completely different in a Thai's view.

Slowly when they get older the differences between 'thai' and 'western' seem to get smaller. The widest gaps between 'thai' and 'western' are especially in the childrens very young ages where Thai think that children are not smart enough to learn or absolutely impossible, manipulate their parents to see how far they go.

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Ice Maiden Gold Member

Ice Maiden

Posted
Posted
Married. Two kids.  Both boys - 4 1/2 and 1 1/2.  When my first son was born, my husband called his mother to come up from the village to help out.  She brought her older sister with her.  After 4 days and endless torture about how I should only be eating sticky rice and barbecued pork, and then telling me I couldn't eat ripe mango because my uterus wouldn't shrink back to its normal size, I said to my husband "if they don't leave here soon, i'm checking into a hotel and taking the baby with me."  They were gone the next day, although I don't know quite how he handled the situation.  When our second son was born, she didn't come up at all.  No interference whatsoever.  When we go to visit his mom, if the family tries to tell me I'm doing this or that wrong with the boys, or if I don't let the boys eat ice cream for breakfast like some of the other kids, I just tell them that if they want another child to worry about and take care of, they are quite capable of having their own, but these are mine and no chocolate for breakfast! I smile when I say it and they don't take offence.  I'm not sure if they've accepted me or given up on me  :D

No ice cream for breakfast? :o

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Firefan Platinum Member

Firefan

Posted
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No worries LC - you certainly do not LOOK 32! :o

(I think this was my 2nd post only on this board)

Cheers!

Congrats Scouse. :D

I'm single and have no children. But I want to have kids. And my biological clock has been ticking so fast. :D I don't know if Bangkok is the right place to raise a child though..

How old are u?

32 next month. Told you it's ticking fast. :D

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alaina Advanced Member

alaina

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Well, I currently have 35 children and in the past I've had as many as 400.

Ohhh, you mean biological children!

Nope, and I like coming home from teaching to a childless home. I get all the maternal stuff out at work and I can't imagine dealing with kids of my own after dealing with so many at work.

I do worry about them on my own time though. I've had a few students that have just awful parents and I did want to adopt a few of them. But, it doesn't work that way.

If I were a vet, I'd end up a crazy cat lady!

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seonai Platinum Member

seonai

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Opothai are you completley unaware of what I said? My ex husband stole my son. You know 'STOLE' my son.

And you are asking why the British Embassy should help?????? Where are you from????????? My son is a British citizen and I want him to enjoy his Thai life too. Am I wrong????????? Please speak up because this thing of my ex stealing my son is a HUGE issue for me and my son. You want to make comments..... make them constructive. My son is now unable to write English the way he could before. What would you do Opothai??????

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yarpy Senior Member

yarpy

Posted
Posted

I am aware that the mods on this section are anti-male so I will tread carefully.

I am South African born but my family now all live in London. I have experience of the British legal system. I am a qualified lawyer.

Seonai your post makes no sense. You state, if I have understood you correctly that you, a British citizen had a child with a Thai man. He abducted that child and returned to Thailand with it lodging it with his family in Issan, he then returned to UK and 'had a ball for two years'.

This simply would not happen. Assuming you had informed the British police on re-entry to UK he would have been immediately jailed and charged with kidnap of a minor. Minimum 5 years jail time.

Would you care to clarify in case I have missed something?

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