Thai Private Eye Lifts Curtain On Cheating Spouses

[dumpling]

its the same every where......humans are not meant to be monogamous...tell me another mammal that is... some of us try but its always a test

gibbons and the tamarins.....you did ask

Edited April 4, 2011 by dumpling

[mark45y]

Because it's a well-known fact that men cheat more often than women. Anyway, the word "partner" is a boring, PC word thought up by loony lefties with ginger beards and leather patches on the elbows of their jackets. Sorry, not leather, they're all bloody vegans as well.

Why does Admin. continually run these ridiculous stories? When do I ever see anything positive come to my e-mail account. Nothing but crap.

well, I guess you could have clicked on the flood story headline in the newsletter instead of this one to complain. Unless the flooding is crap too?

No just this one is crap -- it also appears above the flood story as if to give it more credence / importance.

What's with the sexist generalization "The only "man" you can trust is a dead one" ?? Don't you think it should read "partner" as opposed to "man" ? But ok TV didn't write the piece, so for balance I'll keep an eye an out for a thread written by some burned farang entitled: "How to tell when a Thai woman is lying -- her lips are moving" or some other trite observation; it's never going to happen.

I would say you are correct about most women however Thai women are not most women.

It has been roughly the same deal in Thailand since the French and Portuguese started recording it in their sailing logs 400 years ago.

If you came to Asia in the 1960's you would have found relatively liberal sexual atmospheres in many countries. Only two have stayed the same. Thailand and the Philippines.

My life taken as a whole I really don't have much experience with bar women but since I first arrived in Thailand in the 1960's and up till now I find Thai women more aggressive sexually than any other society I have been exposed to. That is not to say they aren't shy and modest but along with that is an always open invitation to play.

I have found this the case in 20 year old Thai women and 60 year old Thai woman. My first Thai language instructor was in her 70's, MA from an American university and even she hit on me.

Edited April 4, 2011 by mark45y

[jhwest]

Well as a farang here and just love the country and yes ofcourse this is old hat and many people have two or threee husbands/wives and it seems people are aware of it and somehow accept it.

One can not paint people with the same brush, but I honestly feel that and it does happen in all Nationalities, but from my observation the Thai male "treat" their Thai wive/s or girlfriends appalingly and also the Grandparents are totally taken advantage of.

Women and Men it seems here are just as bad and yeah everyone does get tarnished with the same brush.

No this is nothing new, but you know what there are people out there who are loving and caring to their one wife or husband.

On the matter of this and it is all to do with money, it is amazing in that if one helps let's say the daughter in law, it is fine while one is shelving out the money, but as soon as this stops, as believe it or not us farlangs are not rich, but do our best for the family, then they totally ignore you on the streets.

Yes I know that the sons and daughter in laws do infact cheat on their girlfriends here and in early days here was often asked do you want a girl friend!!!

[Kilgore Trout]

its the same every where......humans are not meant to be monogamous...tell me another mammal that is... some of us try but its always a test

Perhaps you would like to sleep outdoors and eat your own poo as well

[tmvolunteers]

Why does Admin. continually run these ridiculous stories? When do I ever see anything positive come to my e-mail account. Nothing but crap.

It could be because people want to read about the negative sides of Thailand, then they can come in here to point fingers and agree with the negative stories... and write things like "mai-pen-rai right?"

I too have been looking for the positive stories about the beauty of this country and its people, but this seems to be a forum where people with negative experiences can come and complain and make themselves feel like they are above Thai people.

[anterian]

I have a friend who is Thai who has been through several female maids. They have all had to quit even though the working conditions and pay are good. Each one has said that they were having to go home to live with their parents because their husbands have girlfriends and are spending all their time and money on them. So, I imagine business would really be booming is all these less fortunate ladies could afford private eye services and the courts would enforce support for wives and children left behind. I also found out from this friend that there is no such thing as "pro bono" (free) legal services available to these poor ladies in Thailand. Not good.

Wish there were a gutsy private detective who would investigate and report (perhaps to Richard Barrow who could publish it in the paper) on all the government employees and elected officials who benefit from their positions through graft. I was hit up the other day at the Immigration Office for information by someone whose job it was to provide such information free as part of his/her job. Sad.

A bad choice of phrase perhaps, " been through several female maids"

[SteeleJoe]

thai guys look down on the thai women who date a farang,and they have a nasty term to describe the offspring of such a union

Please tell me what that is -- in over 20 years of speaking and listenting to Thais (in the Thai language), I don't think I've heard it or heard of it.

[jhwest]

Another small point is that yes a lot of people from both sexes are genuinely very friendly, but if someone sees one chatting, then one must be cheating. How narrow minded is this and a case of insecurity perhaps.

[davidA]

to the person who said they'd never seen any siamese cats here,i reckon,when you think about it,they're all siamese cats ???

[Shotime]

"The only man you can trust is a dead one. If they're still alive, still breathing, then you can't trust them," she says.

I learned about this on the Opra Winfrey show "Men breathing. How can we stop them?"

[SteeleJoe]

to the person who said they'd never seen any siamese cats here,i reckon,when you think about it,they're all siamese cats ???

Like the old joke about Chinese food -- in China it's just called food.

[cdnvic]

Deleted one illegible post

Edit: Make that two. The quotes were so mangled you couldn't tell who was saying what.

Edited April 4, 2011 by cdnvic

[Petbon]

There are not many courageous decent useful guys out there these days, as when I was young. There were heaps of them back then and my man was great! All my friends married good ones too.

[JerryNelson]

While we are on the subject, does anyone know a competent private dectective in Chiang Mai?

[cdnvic]

Ask in the Chiang Mai subforum.

[zthyadat]

Why does Admin. continually run these ridiculous stories? When do I ever see anything positive come to my e-mail account. Nothing but crap.

You want positive news? I don;t think it has been invented yet.

It has always amazed me that so many people start their day with the newspaper, just to confirm to themselves that the world sucks before they drag themselves off to work.

[rafish]

Why does Admin. continually run these ridiculous stories? When do I ever see anything positive come to my e-mail account. Nothing but crap.

You are what you eat.

[zthyadat]

There are not many courageous decent useful guys out there these days, as when I was young. There were heaps of them back then and my man was great! All my friends married good ones too.

There were also heaps of brothels back then... People only change in rose-coloured retrospect. But congratulations on finding a good one.

[rafish]

This lady assumes everyone is tarred with the same brush but some of us simply don't cheat on our wives.

Jackanory Jackanory Jackanory

Check to see if your nose is growing?

[zthyadat]

So men like to wet their dicks? Is this news, a story 100,000 years old. Perhaps if some of these overweight grump wives lost a few kilos, put on some make up and smiled occasionally, they would not be cheated on? Give me a break, is this the biggest problem Thailand has? No.

And perhaps if the husband was not a sweating heaving snoring farting beer-bellied mass of arrogant suet in the bed next to her, she wouldn't feel the urge to cheat either.

From what I can tell, this is just a story that fills English language readers in on one of the countless people and things that Thais are already well aware of (in this case, a relatively famous detective) that we are normally oblivious to. Why is this a problem? There is plenty of other "proper" news to read. If you don't like this kind of story, skip it. Not every story in the newspaper is intended to appeal to every type of reader.

And by the way, people have also been murdering each other since the dawn of humanity, but murder is still discussed. This is simply a lesser social crime.

[h5kaf]

Well, for both of you I am happy to burst your bubbles! I am absolutely happily married to the most wonderful woman I have ever met. The most important thing in her life is myself and our two children. She is a dedicated Mother, a truly inspirational wife, my best friend, sensational lover and could get a Michelin star for her cooking. If I were to cheat on her, it would devastate her to the core, and I would never ever threaten the most precious thing I have found for 20 mins inside the pants of some bar girl. She is similar and would never ever even contemplate going with another person. I am absolutely sure there are many many other guys out there in the same position as myself who are truly happy, and a 'bit on the side' is just not on the agenda either for themselves or their wives. Some couples here did find love you know, and not everyones wife was a bar girl focused on dollar signs. Thailand has a real problem with divorce rates and 'playing around', and I have a theory as to why, but not all marriages are bad and not all Thai men/women are bad, come to that matter, not all farang are bad either.

Gentleman Jim it was a pure pleasure to read your post. Congratulations and I hope you remain in your current blissful state for the rest of your life. You are a truly lucky man.

[rayw]

Well well well hardly any surprise. Once we start to separate sex from love then all this crap will be unimportant. I love my Thai wife very much but given the right circumstances sure I would have sex with a physically desirable person without having any emotional relationship with her. Even cleaner to pay for it with a bar girl who need the money and give the good service that most men want. A bit like trying a different beer or different cigarettes or whatever your pleasure is and in no way means that you do not love or respect your wife. Same must be true of your wife too, if you can have pure animal sex elsewhere then so should your wife be able to as well of course and as long as your loving relationship is strong enough there should be no need for any jealousy. I actually think that almost all heterosexual men feel this way unless they are in self denial, but many will not admit to it. Bottom line is that screwing a bar girl for an hour is IMHO not cheating on your wife, it is only if you do have a mia noi and thus a full affair then you are cheating of course as you are sharing your emotions with somebody else, same is true of women too, many also if they are honest can just enjoy pure animal sex too without entering into a relationship. I am now 65 and the need for me is much diminished but I have always known the above facts and accepted them for what they are.

That is all just human nature so lets stop fighting it and enjoy life a lot more and in most cases save paying silly money to this snooping woman and her kind. We as a race waste so much time on what should be unimportant trivia and miss out on having bigger smiles on our faces. What is for sure is that you can have a very good and happy marriage and still have the occasional bar girl just for pure sexual pleasure like a beer is for pure gastronomic pleasure, so lets get it in perspective. I congratulate the guy who said about his superb marriage and indeed if he feels no need for a different bit of sex now and then just for fun then that is also fine as it is whatever makes you and your wife happy is all that matters. Oh and also many of us do not have ex bar girl wives but I do know many who married an ex bar girl who have superb happy marriages so lets not generalise either.

Edited April 4, 2011 by rayw

[reason1]

My first Thai language instructor was in her 70's, MA from an American university and even she hit on me.

This post has been edited by mark45y: Today, 13:49

Wow! as I usually only sleep with women less than half my age I am going to have to wait another 76 years before I get a 70 year old

[h5kaf]

And perhaps if the husband was not a sweating heaving snoring farting beer-bellied mass of arrogant suet in the bed next to her, she wouldn't feel the urge to cheat either.

You have a gift with words, Sir. If you were any more specific people would start to recognise themselves, and might be less than impressed. I am still laughing, and every time I see an overweight farang pensioner, bottle in hand with a nice little 20 something I shall recall your crystal clear description above.

[papabob]

So what's her phone number?

[harleyclarkey]

"The only man you can trust is a dead one. If they're still alive, still breathing, then you can't trust them," she says.

Sounds like a nice balanced woman with her views. No mention of trusting a woman?? Glad to see 30% of her new arrivals are men who finally woke up. Women are far more devious and cunning than men and get away with far more. We tend to be clumsy and inevitably leave clues for women. They are always sniffing around your phone, mail, clothes, car etc, etc. looking for any sign of anything that might threaten their cushy lives.

Yep....it is for sure not the guys that are messing around..it is just we get caught more often.

ps...I am single again... In a great relationship and don't need to look elsewhere. Now why would a guy need to look elsewhere?? Mmmm...just maybe a bloody awful, nagging,demanding, unloving, partner/wife?

[harleyclarkey]

And perhaps if the husband was not a sweating heaving snoring farting beer-bellied mass of arrogant suet in the bed next to her, she wouldn't feel the urge to cheat either.

Very eloquent indeed. You have some very odd friends.

I do not know of a single man who fits the above detailed description, or even a part of it. I might know some women who do though.

Edited April 4, 2011 by harleyclarkey

[SteeleJoe]

it is for sure not the guys that are messing around..it is just we get caught more often.

LOL. Contradict yourself much? If guys are not messing around, then how are they getting caught?!

Now why would a guy need to look elsewhere?? Mmmm...just maybe a bloody awful, nagging,demanding, unloving, partner/wife?

Most men -- even those who manage to stay faithful to their partners with difficulty or not -- know the answer to that; without getting all bilogocal and darwinian: Variety. Ego. Recapturing youth. Etc.

And...the appeal of Strange P**y*.

EDIT FOR TYPOS

Edited April 4, 2011 by SteeleJoe

[rufanuf]

The problem is for every cheating man there is a cheating woman (whether she herself is single or not is immaterial as a consenting partner, for whatever reason, she is duplicitous), unless of course if he is gay, and then it is two men but this made up for by cheating women who are lesbian (happens far more often than you would believe). Thus to say the only man you can trust is a dead one (I would agree generally) but exactly the same must be said of women (generally).

I don't think my wife has ever cheated on me. Does that mean someone else's wife is cheating twice, to make up?

I can't believe that someone else's wife is cheating on me to compensate for my wife - that just doesn't seem right...

SC

I think there are only two types of successful long term relationships between men and women. One is where one partner or the other (or both ideally) is very niave, hence always's believeing everything os fine as far as fidelity is concerned. The other is simply one where two adults (or even one can work) regardless of gender understands the needs of the other completely and just excepts that human beings male or female are not perfect and rarely designed to meet 100% of the expectations their partners lay at their doorstep. Personally I am the latter.

Edited April 4, 2011 by rufanuf

[rufanuf]

its the same every where......humans are not meant to be monogamous...tell me another mammal that is... some of us try but its always a test

gibbons and the tamarins.....you did ask

Your joking right? Either that or some bioligists research is very inaccurate.