Age Difference

[IanForbes]

Well said, Craig.

I can understand why some men might object to seeing older men with young women. Men with teenage, and early twenties, daughters tend to equate those old men being with THEIR daughter, and that upsets their prudish upbringing. Men get quite possessive about their family and think EVERY man is after their daughter. That may or may not be true, but if you've been a good parent and taught your daughter well then you should have nothing to worry about. First of all, most men wouldn't want to look foolish by making a sexual pass at a young woman who is going to rebuke him. He is going to look for women who know what they are doing.

The young women seen with older farangs in Asia are there for a specific purpose... to earn a paycheque for their family, or to have a better life style. They are there by choice. There are other ways to earn a living, but it's harder work. The young women have already gone beyond their first sexual experiences. Most have been dumped by a Thai boyfriend, or are being pimped by a Thai boyfriend. Many have had children by a Thai boyfriend who then did a runner. A single mother in Thailand is considered "damaged goods" and not worth having by most Thai men.

Once you get past the religious prudery that has been enforced on us since we were children by hypocritical religious fanatics you will be able to look at sex with a more open viewpoint.

That is an entirely different subject than the terrible brothels where young women are indentured to the mafia by their own parents.

[andrewbkk]

sometimes i even admire an old bugger for having the guts to push a pram with one hand and lead a toddler on the other hand.

Why do you think it takes "guts" to push a pram?

I used to push a pram. I don't recall it being an act of bravery.

The only problem I had was trying to avoid all the dog turds.

[andrewbkk]

A single mother in Thailand is considered "damaged goods" and not worth having by most Thai men.

Disgusting but true.

I love talking about my son more than anything else. I will only date women with children as women without children can't empathize with what I want to share.

I don't understand the mentality of Thai men.

[StreetCowboy]

sometimes i even admire an old bugger for having the guts to push a pram with one hand and lead a toddler on the other hand.

Why do you think it takes "guts" to push a pram?

I used to push a pram. I don't recall it being an act of bravery.

The only problem I had was trying to avoid all the dog turds.

I see your point, I had read only as far as "having the guts to push a pram" without reading the subsequent 'with one hand', and thought that, should I ever have further children, I should have to follow a programme of ambitious body-building.

Of course, with the gut, that would leave one spare hand with which to hold the dear little lady, like a pair of frolicking teenagers, as well as the toddler on the other hand, and the bairn in the perambulator propelled a stomach's-length ahead.

SC

[andrewbkk]

sometimes i even admire an old bugger for having the guts to push a pram with one hand and lead a toddler on the other hand.

Why do you think it takes "guts" to push a pram?

I used to push a pram. I don't recall it being an act of bravery.

The only problem I had was trying to avoid all the dog turds.

I see your point, I had read only as far as "having the guts to push a pram" without reading the subsequent 'with one hand', and thought that, should I ever have further children, I should have to follow a programme of ambitious body-building.

Of course, with the gut, that would leave one spare hand with which to hold the dear little lady, like a pair of frolicking teenagers, as well as the toddler on the other hand, and the bairn in the perambulator propelled a stomach's-length ahead.

SC

You and I seem to have interpreted the guy's comments differently.

I think he's suggesting that pushing a pram is an act that requires great courage.

You, on the other hand, think he's suggesting that obesity is the main requisite.

This is all quite interesting. Imagine, for example, a man in his thirties who is obese but of strong character. Should he be allowed to push a pram?

And how about older men who are neither obese nor courageous?

Perhaps the Thai Government ought to introduce a sort of Pram Law in order to clarify things. Problem is, would men over the age of 50 be allowed to push one?

As all of us know, it is now ILLEGAL for men over fifty to get married.

[dmax]

one thing i cant stand is seeing some 60-70 year old fat filthy looking dirty pervert holding hands walking down the street with an 18 year old beauty, time to act your f*****ng age !!! wise yourself up, get a life and get someone nearer to your own age.

who gives a flying fart what you can stand seeing or can't? close your eyes if you don't like what you see!

I don't agree with Naam on a lot of things, but he certainly has a point here.

i am entitled to my views like the rest of you, if you dont like my views then close your eyes and click on . SIMPLE ! i wont be silenced by someone who thinks he can get away with flaming and slandering me just because he doesn,t agree with my views or he,s made more posts or been on tv longer than me. ( including one old fart in particular who is constantly hovering around my topics and posts like a bad smell, you know who you are, no names mentioned ) a 70 -80 year old pervert with an 18 year old girl is just downright wrong and discusting in my view, what can she offer you ? i would rather go home for a bit of D.I.Y.personally but each to their own eh ? bearing in mind a 17 year year old thai girl looks much younger. makes me think would these old farts go any younger if they could get away with it ? an interesting observation indeed i think !! im not talking about fathers/grandfathers and daughters holding hands , i know the difference. i too have a daughter ,i have 3 daughters in fact 23-15-2 year olds , i too push a pram and i too hold hands with my daughters. whilst down in koh chang last month i was sitting in a bar, the mamasan had brought down 4-5 young girls from isaan , the girls she said were 18 when i questioned their age but looked more like 15-17 to me. i declined her offer to " take one " the girls couldnt even understand english obviously and just sat there like scared rabbits whispering to eachother and putting on false smiles, just didnt seem right to me. few other older farang men in the bar maybe in their late 50,s -60,s . btw the mamasan told me she was married to a policeman. draw your own conclusions .like it or lump it i stand my ground .

[StreetCowboy]

one thing i cant stand is seeing some 60-70 year old fat filthy looking dirty pervert holding hands walking down the street with an 18 year old beauty, time to act your f*****ng age !!! wise yourself up, get a life and get someone nearer to your own age.

who gives a flying fart what you can stand seeing or can't? close your eyes if you don't like what you see!

I don't agree with Naam on a lot of things, but he certainly has a point here.

i am entitled to my views like the rest of you, if you dont like my views then close your eyes and click on . SIMPLE ! i wont be silenced by someone who thinks he can get away with flaming and slandering me just because he doesn,t agree with my views or he,s made more posts or been on tv longer than me. ( including one old fart in particular who is constantly hovering around my topics and posts like a bad smell, you know who you are, no names mentioned ) a 70 -80 year old pervert with an 18 year old girl is just downright wrong and discusting in my view, what can she offer you ? i would rather go home for a bit of D.I.Y.personally but each to their own eh ? bearing in mind a 17 year year old thai girl looks much younger. makes me think would these old farts go any younger if they could get away with it ? an interesting observation indeed i think !! im not talking about fathers/grandfathers and daughters holding hands , i know the difference. i too have a daughter ,i have 3 daughters in fact 23-15-2 year olds , i too push a pram and i too hold hands with my daughters. whilst down in koh chang last month i was sitting in a bar, the mamasan had brought down 4-5 young girls from isaan , the girls she said were 18 when i questioned their age but looked more like 15-17 to me. i declined her offer to " take one " the girls couldnt even understand english obviously and just sat there like scared rabbits whispering to eachother and putting on false smiles, just didnt seem right to me. few other older farang men in the bar maybe in their late 50,s -60,s . btw the mamasan told me she was married to a policeman. draw your own conclusions .like it or lump it i stand my ground .

You're quite right to complain about the flaming - 'flying fart' is a bit strong, and beyond his normal polite and mildly-spoken turn of phrase.

Personally, I struggle to accord credibility to any post that is written as an unparagraphed wall of text. Wht makes you think that the 70 - 80 year old is a pervert (he seems to have aged ten years in the space of a few posts; no doubt the strain of wild and debauched living, while the girl goes back from 18 to 17 in the space of one line... D.I.Y. is all right, if your arm is strong enough, but some of us appreciate a little gentle feminine attention (I expect; living a chaste bachelor lifestyle, I can only speculate). I am just glad that I am still healthy, but worry I might end up looking like popeye.

I take it from your comment that the mamasan said she was married, that you had propositioned her, being more about your own age, but she declined you. I am a little surprised that you provided us grounds to draw that conclusion, but maybe it supports your view that we should find someone more our own age to play with.

SC

Edit: I should add that when I was 15, I found 18 year-olds attractive, and in the subsequent decades, that did not change. I suppose I must have been a pervert since my youth...

Edited April 19, 2011 by StreetCowboy

[IanForbes]

dmax is quite entitled to his opinion and I accept his point of view, even though I may disagree with it to some degree. And, he should NOT expect to get flamed for stating his opinion.

Yes, there ARE perverts. They come in all ages from 9 to 90, but being with an adult young woman does not make a man a pervert... no matter how old he is. And, we all should know the age of consent when it comes to a young woman wherever she might be. What he was intimating with the story of the mamasan and her police husband running young women out of a bar in Koh Chang borders on what we suspect to be sexual slavery. I doubt anyone here would condone that in any shape or form. That is one underbelly of Thai society that Thailand authorities should try their best to elimenate. It paints a nasty image for western societies, and in doing so it is considered normal Thailand behavior. But, it might already be too late. Unfortunately, many people in North America and Europe think all of Thailand is wrapped up in an illegal, child sex slavery business.

And, my comment on over protective fathers looking after their daughters might have touched a note with dmax... considering that he mentioned that he has 3 daughters of widely varying ages. I suspect that he or his wife were married more than one time.

[F1fanatic]

dmax is quite entitled to his opinion and I accept his point of view, even though I may disagree with it to some degree. And, he should NOT expect to get flamed for stating his opinion.

Yes, there ARE perverts. They come in all ages from 9 to 90, but being with an adult young woman does not make a man a pervert... no matter how old he is. And, we all should know the age of consent when it comes to a young woman wherever she might be. What he was intimating with the story of the mamasan and her police husband running young women out of a bar in Koh Chang borders on what we suspect to be sexual slavery. I doubt anyone here would condone that in any shape or form. That is one underbelly of Thai society that Thailand authorities should try their best to elimenate. It paints a nasty image for western societies, and in doing so it is considered normal Thailand behavior. But, it might already be too late. Unfortunately, many people in North America and Europe think all of Thailand is wrapped up in an illegal, child sex slavery business.

And, my comment on over protective fathers looking after their daughters might have touched a note with dmax... considering that he mentioned that he has 3 daughters of widely varying ages. I suspect that he or his wife were married more than one time.

The perverts who like 'undeveloped females or males' are shunned by all societies.

'Society' isn't overly keen on old men with young women either.... BUT, that is something people laugh about, once they live here for a while and realise the g/f is a more than willing volunteer!

The tourist families/couples still find it horrifying as they don't realise this - they believe the woman 'had no choice'....

[dmax]

dmax is quite entitled to his opinion and I accept his point of view, even though I may disagree with it to some degree. And, he should NOT expect to get flamed for stating his opinion.

Yes, there ARE perverts. They come in all ages from 9 to 90, but being with an adult young woman does not make a man a pervert... no matter how old he is. And, we all should know the age of consent when it comes to a young woman wherever she might be. What he was intimating with the story of the mamasan and her police husband running young women out of a bar in Koh Chang borders on what we suspect to be sexual slavery. I doubt anyone here would condone that in any shape or form. That is one underbelly of Thai society that Thailand authorities should try their best to elimenate. It paints a nasty image for western societies, and in doing so it is considered normal Thailand behavior. But, it might already be too late. Unfortunately, many people in North America and Europe think all of Thailand is wrapped up in an illegal, child sex slavery business.

And, my comment on over protective fathers looking after their daughters might have touched a note with dmax... considering that he mentioned that he has 3 daughters of widely varying ages. I suspect that he or his wife were married more than one time.

The perverts who like 'undeveloped females or males' are shunned by all societies.

'Society' isn't overly keen on old men with young women either.... BUT, that is something people laugh about, once they live here for a while and realise the g/f is a more than willing volunteer!

The tourist families/couples still find it horrifying as they don't realise this - they believe the woman 'had no choice'....

hi F1 , ive been here on and off for 12 yrs now, nothing shocks me anymore, ive seen it all. though i would argue the point that many of these teenagers do not have a choice as such, growing up in isaan with no education and having to provide food for the family, what choice would you make ? go work in the paddy fields for 150 baht a day or go with a depraved old man for 1000 baht per day, well maybe a choice yes but which one would you take if the shoe were on the other foot ?

[F1fanatic]

dmax is quite entitled to his opinion and I accept his point of view, even though I may disagree with it to some degree. And, he should NOT expect to get flamed for stating his opinion.

Yes, there ARE perverts. They come in all ages from 9 to 90, but being with an adult young woman does not make a man a pervert... no matter how old he is. And, we all should know the age of consent when it comes to a young woman wherever she might be. What he was intimating with the story of the mamasan and her police husband running young women out of a bar in Koh Chang borders on what we suspect to be sexual slavery. I doubt anyone here would condone that in any shape or form. That is one underbelly of Thai society that Thailand authorities should try their best to elimenate. It paints a nasty image for western societies, and in doing so it is considered normal Thailand behavior. But, it might already be too late. Unfortunately, many people in North America and Europe think all of Thailand is wrapped up in an illegal, child sex slavery business.

And, my comment on over protective fathers looking after their daughters might have touched a note with dmax... considering that he mentioned that he has 3 daughters of widely varying ages. I suspect that he or his wife were married more than one time.

The perverts who like 'undeveloped females or males' are shunned by all societies.

'Society' isn't overly keen on old men with young women either.... BUT, that is something people laugh about, once they live here for a while and realise the g/f is a more than willing volunteer!

The tourist families/couples still find it horrifying as they don't realise this - they believe the woman 'had no choice'....

hi F1 , ive been here on and off for 12 yrs now, nothing shocks me anymore, ive seen it all. though i would argue the point that many of these teenagers do not have a choice as such, growing up in isaan with no education and having to provide food for the family, what choice would you make ? go work in the paddy fields for 150 baht a day or go with a depraved old man for 1000 baht per day, well maybe a choice yes but which one would you take if the shoe were on the other foot ?

Been there. My parents emigrated when I was 16 (I refused to go with them telling them I'd run away at the last minute if they tried to force me to go with them).

Unsuprisingly, I had few options as I was taking my O levels at the time...

Amazingly enough, I found a job that paid a pittance and looked forward to the future when I could earn more. It never crossed my mind to become a cough, woman of easy virtue.

[StreetCowboy]

dmax is quite entitled to his opinion and I accept his point of view, even though I may disagree with it to some degree. And, he should NOT expect to get flamed for stating his opinion.

Yes, there ARE perverts. They come in all ages from 9 to 90, but being with an adult young woman does not make a man a pervert... no matter how old he is. And, we all should know the age of consent when it comes to a young woman wherever she might be. What he was intimating with the story of the mamasan and her police husband running young women out of a bar in Koh Chang borders on what we suspect to be sexual slavery. I doubt anyone here would condone that in any shape or form. That is one underbelly of Thai society that Thailand authorities should try their best to elimenate. It paints a nasty image for western societies, and in doing so it is considered normal Thailand behavior. But, it might already be too late. Unfortunately, many people in North America and Europe think all of Thailand is wrapped up in an illegal, child sex slavery business.

And, my comment on over protective fathers looking after their daughters might have touched a note with dmax... considering that he mentioned that he has 3 daughters of widely varying ages. I suspect that he or his wife were married more than one time.

The perverts who like 'undeveloped females or males' are shunned by all societies.

'Society' isn't overly keen on old men with young women either.... BUT, that is something people laugh about, once they live here for a while and realise the g/f is a more than willing volunteer!

The tourist families/couples still find it horrifying as they don't realise this - they believe the woman 'had no choice'....

hi F1 , ive been here on and off for 12 yrs now, nothing shocks me anymore, ive seen it all. though i would argue the point that many of these teenagers do not have a choice as such, growing up in isaan with no education and having to provide food for the family, what choice would you make ? go work in the paddy fields for 150 baht a day or go with a depraved old man for 1000 baht per day, well maybe a choice yes but which one would you take if the shoe were on the other foot ?

Been there. My parents emigrated when I was 16 (I refused to go with them telling them I'd run away at the last minute if they tried to force me to go with them).

Unsuprisingly, I had few options as I was taking my O levels at the time...

Amazingly enough, I found a job that paid a pittance and looked forward to the future when I could earn more. It never crossed my mind to become a cough, woman of easy virtue.

I suppose you did not feel obliged to send much money home at that time to support your aged parents or children...I know a lot of single mothers in that line of business.

Ladies of easy virtue probably do not command the same respect in Farangland as they do in Thailand, so I could see that it would be a more difficult career choice. The career structure in that industry is not as well marked out - certainly in the UK - and the recruitment arrangements are, I believe, less clearly defined.

SC

[F1fanatic]

Been there. My parents emigrated when I was 16 (I refused to go with them telling them I'd run away at the last minute if they tried to force me to go with them).

Unsuprisingly, I had few options as I was taking my O levels at the time...

Amazingly enough, I found a job that paid a pittance and looked forward to the future when I could earn more. It never crossed my mind to become a cough, woman of easy virtue.

I suppose you did not feel obliged to send much money home at that time to support your aged parents or children...I know a lot of single mothers in that line of business.

Ladies of easy virtue probably do not command the same respect in Farangland as they do in Thailand, so I could see that it would be a more difficult career choice. The career structure in that industry is not as well marked out - certainly in the UK - and the recruitment arrangements are, I believe, less clearly defined.

SC

Hard to believe I know, but I didn't have children whilst a teenager, so the thought of fobbing them off on the parents else never cropped up.

Fobbing the kids off onto the parents is not something Western women would consider. Its a Thai phenomenem.

[sbk]

Not necessarily, I know a Thai woman divorced and yes receiving child support but when the husband makes a pittance its not much, who, despite being an attractive woman, took a job working hard at a local resort rather than sleep with men for money. In fact, if one were to open ones eyes and get out of those areas you would see literally thousands and thousands of poor Thai women who do NOT sell their bodies for money.

But, if someone has blinkers on and only chooses to see what they want to see, all they will see is what suits their stereotypes. A common enough trait among many many people on this forum I have noticed

[Wallaby]

hi F1 , ive been here on and off for 12 yrs now, nothing shocks me anymore, ive seen it all. though i would argue the point that many of these teenagers do not have a choice as such, growing up in isaan with no education and having to provide food for the family, what choice would you make ? go work in the paddy fields for 150 baht a day or go with a depraved old man for 1000 baht per day, well maybe a choice yes but which one would you take if the shoe were on the other foot ?

Teenagers? You could start by referring to them as adults. These adults do have a choice and every day that make that choice. How else to you explain why not every lady from Isaan follows suit? It's because they chose not to.

I too am an adult, if you or anyone else doesn't like what I do then that's ok by me but if you then voice your concerns in front of me and/or my women then expect to have your opinions rammed up an orifice not normally associated with verbal communication.

[F1fanatic]

Not necessarily, I know a Thai woman divorced and yes receiving child support but when the husband makes a pittance its not much, who, despite being an attractive woman, took a job working hard at a local resort rather than sleep with men for money. In fact, if one were to open ones eyes and get out of those areas you would see literally thousands and thousands of poor Thai women who do NOT sell their bodies for money.

But, if someone has blinkers on and only chooses to see what they want to see, all they will see is what suits their stereotypes. A common enough trait among many many people on this forum I have noticed

Yes, I believe that ALL Thai women take to prostitution to support their kids .

We are talking about old farang men with young Thai women - or had you not noticed?

[Wallaby]

i am entitled to my views like the rest of you, if you dont like my views then close your eyes and click on . SIMPLE ! i wont be silenced by someone who thinks he can get away with flaming and slandering me just because he doesn,t agree with my views or he,s made more posts or been on tv longer than me. ( including one old fart in particular who is constantly hovering around my topics and posts like a bad smell, you know who you are, no names mentioned ) a 70 -80 year old pervert with an 18 year old girl is just downright wrong and discusting in my view, what can she offer you ? i would rather go home for a bit of D.I.Y.personally but each to their own eh ? bearing in mind a 17 year year old thai girl looks much younger. makes me think would these old farts go any younger if they could get away with it ? an interesting observation indeed i think !! im not talking about fathers/grandfathers and daughters holding hands , i know the difference. i too have a daughter ,i have 3 daughters in fact 23-15-2 year olds , i too push a pram and i too hold hands with my daughters. whilst down in koh chang last month i was sitting in a bar, the mamasan had brought down 4-5 young girls from isaan , the girls she said were 18 when i questioned their age but looked more like 15-17 to me. i declined her offer to " take one " the girls couldnt even understand english obviously and just sat there like scared rabbits whispering to eachother and putting on false smiles, just didnt seem right to me. few other older farang men in the bar maybe in their late 50,s -60,s . btw the mamasan told me she was married to a policeman. draw your own conclusions .like it or lump it i stand my ground .

And therein lies the answer to your blood pressure rising. If you knew the answer you wouldn't have made this post grasshopper.

[StreetCowboy]

Been there. My parents emigrated when I was 16 (I refused to go with them telling them I'd run away at the last minute if they tried to force me to go with them).

Unsuprisingly, I had few options as I was taking my O levels at the time...

Amazingly enough, I found a job that paid a pittance and looked forward to the future when I could earn more. It never crossed my mind to become a cough, woman of easy virtue.

I suppose you did not feel obliged to send much money home at that time to support your aged parents or children...I know a lot of single mothers in that line of business.

Ladies of easy virtue probably do not command the same respect in Farangland as they do in Thailand, so I could see that it would be a more difficult career choice. The career structure in that industry is not as well marked out - certainly in the UK - and the recruitment arrangements are, I believe, less clearly defined.

SC

Hard to believe I know, but I didn't have children whilst a teenager, so the thought of fobbing them off on the parents else never cropped up.

Fobbing the kids off onto the parents is not something Western women would consider. Its a Thai phenomenem.

I don't think that it is specifically Thai; I think it is specific to societies that do not have any welfare state, but do have strong bonds within families.

I had assumed you did not have any children at the time, hence why I felt fairly safe in my presumption; also, from the suggestion that it was in fact the parents who had emigrated, why I believed you did not feel obliged to look after them.

Filial piety is stronger in Thai (and many other Asian) cultures than in the western anglo-saxon culture that you and I grew up in. When my dear old grandmother was nominally too old to look after herself, she came to spend her twilight months with my mother, and fifteen or so years later, went to a home for the aged for a final couple of years. My own dear mother is able to subsist in relative comfort on her pensions - at least for the time being.

I don't think that it is a matter of 'fobbing the infants off with the grandparents' - more an inability to find work (edit: close to home*) that pays well enough to cover decent school fees and so forth that parents feel obliged to provide for their offspring. Certainly in the ladies' case. Perhaps given the option I personally would run away and join the Merchant Marine rather than stay at home...

I always felt jealous of the chaps on the Star Ferry in HK; they have the best of both worlds - a life on the ocean waves, a girl in every port, and home in time for tea every night.

SC

* edit: and then, when you add in the cost of living away from home, the money that is needed escalates further... I think a lot of ladies end up working away from home - in Bangkok or overseas, working very hard as maids, masseuses, whatever and still sending little more than a pittance back to their families, but lining the pockets of unscrupulous agents and landlords etc.

Edited April 19, 2011 by StreetCowboy

[sbk]

Not necessarily, I know a Thai woman divorced and yes receiving child support but when the husband makes a pittance its not much, who, despite being an attractive woman, took a job working hard at a local resort rather than sleep with men for money. In fact, if one were to open ones eyes and get out of those areas you would see literally thousands and thousands of poor Thai women who do NOT sell their bodies for money.

But, if someone has blinkers on and only chooses to see what they want to see, all they will see is what suits their stereotypes. A common enough trait among many many people on this forum I have noticed

Yes, I believe that ALL Thai women take to prostitution to support their kids .

We are talking about old farang men with young Thai women - or had you not noticed?

Cheers for the polite reminder. gosh, were we. Seemed to me it was mainly people making broad and rather nasty generalizations as I read through the thread but what do I know eh?

[F1fanatic]

Not necessarily, I know a Thai woman divorced and yes receiving child support but when the husband makes a pittance its not much, who, despite being an attractive woman, took a job working hard at a local resort rather than sleep with men for money. In fact, if one were to open ones eyes and get out of those areas you would see literally thousands and thousands of poor Thai women who do NOT sell their bodies for money.

But, if someone has blinkers on and only chooses to see what they want to see, all they will see is what suits their stereotypes. A common enough trait among many many people on this forum I have noticed

Yes, I believe that ALL Thai women take to prostitution to support their kids .

We are talking about old farang men with young Thai women - or had you not noticed?

Cheers for the polite reminder. gosh, were we. Seemed to me it was mainly people making broad and rather nasty generalizations as I read through the thread but what do I know eh?

Sorry, I was obviously making "broad and rather nasty generalizations" by pointing out that dumping the kid(s) on the parents whilst the mother moves away to earn more money by searching for a wealthy man is not exactly unknown here, whilst its pretty rare in the West. Mothers there tend to look after their own children - or is that another "broad and rather nasty generalization"?

[Ulysses G.]

I am not sure that Thais consider it "dumping" the children. the mother is trying to make a living for the rest of the family.

[ThommoPerth]

Well I am 59 going on 60 soon, I was chatted up online by a young lady some months before my second trip to BKK last year.

She told me she was 25 and I thought ok I cab chat you no problems and we chatted on line for some months. When I went to BKK she meet me at the airport and, well that was it, she has never asked for money or any thing else to support herself or her family. We have now been in a relationship for nearly a year.

She is 22.

[F1fanatic]

I am not sure that Thais consider it "dumping" the children. the mother is trying to make a living for the rest of the family.

Yes, staying at home and looking after your own children whilst earning a pittance is clearly not acceptable in some cases.

Far better to leave kids with parents and move to a tourist resort and look for an old farang whilst 'working' in a bar.

[transam]

Well I am 59 going on 60 soon, I was chatted up online by a young lady some months before my second trip to BKK last year.

She told me she was 25 and I thought ok I cab chat you no problems and we chatted on line for some months. When I went to BKK she meet me at the airport and, well that was it, she has never asked for money or any thing else to support herself or her family. We have now been in a relationship for nearly a year.

She is 22.

Lucky sod, l am jealous.

PS. Must add, not a big age difference with my mrs but she said if l crocked she would never marry a Thai man again. Think being beaten with a bottle by her hi-so husband just for being beautiful was enough.

Edited April 19, 2011 by transam

[StreetCowboy]

...8>< SNIP NESTED QUOTES DELETED ><8

Sorry, I was obviously making "broad and rather nasty generalizations" by pointing out that dumping the kid(s) on the parents whilst the mother moves away to earn more money by searching for a wealthy man is not exactly unknown here, whilst its pretty rare in the West. Mothers there tend to look after their own children - or is that another "broad and rather nasty generalization"?

I do not really think I could compare the two situations. For sure, I know more Thai (and other nationality) ladies who have left their children behind to go and seek wealth and employment elsewhere in a variety of trades, than I do Scots ladies who have done the same. but that is hardly surprising.

I can see that social factors might have an impact - for example, the age of the grandparents might affect their ability to look after the children, social bonds across the generations, as I mentioned earlier, the relative discrepancy in wealth between town and country, the presence or otherwise of a welfare state, the social stigmatisation of specific trades...

But regardless of whether there are reasons we might expect Thailand to differ from our own particular farangland, I did not hang around in expat bars there chatting to the ladies I met, whereas here and elsewhere in the mysterious orient I often find myself at a loose end in pubs frequented by expats with no-one in particular to talk to. Perhaps if I had spent more time in Aberdeen (Grampian, not Hong Kong southside), I could comment more knowledgeably. But as it is, I knew relatively few expats in the UK

SC

[StreetCowboy]

I am not sure that Thais consider it "dumping" the children. the mother is trying to make a living for the rest of the family.

Yes, staying at home and looking after your own children whilst earning a pittance is clearly not acceptable in some cases.

Far better to leave kids with parents and move to a tourist resort and look for an old farang whilst 'working' in a bar.

Perhaps a more generous and sympathetic attitude might avoid accusations of sweeping generalisation and prejudice. While we all have our own experiences that help shape our prejudices, I believe that we should not let those drive us to a lack of charitable sympathy for those less well off than ourselves.

Some ladies go to work as maids or factory hands or waitresses; and then get lured into the easy money. Some work six days in a factory and then try to enjoy a few drinks with friends while coming out better off and perhaps earning more on a Saturday night than after six days at the sewing machine. Some have drugs and gambling habits - their own, their parents', their husbands' - to support.

SC

[StreetCowboy]

...

Fobbing the kids off onto the parents is not something Western women would consider. Its a Thai phenomenem.

In the UK, I have friends whose children spend alternate days with the fathers' mother and the mother's mother, while both parents work. I suppose they were lucky to find relatively lucrative jobs close to home, but in principle, I don't see the difference. 10 hours, ten months, we leave our children no longer than we have to to pay the bills.

SC

[F1fanatic]

I am not sure that Thais consider it "dumping" the children. the mother is trying to make a living for the rest of the family.

Yes, staying at home and looking after your own children whilst earning a pittance is clearly not acceptable in some cases.

Far better to leave kids with parents and move to a tourist resort and look for an old farang whilst 'working' in a bar.

Perhaps a more generous and sympathetic attitude might avoid accusations of sweeping generalisation and prejudice. While we all have our own experiences that help shape our prejudices, I believe that we should not let those drive us to a lack of charitable sympathy for those less well off than ourselves.

Some ladies go to work as maids or factory hands or waitresses; and then get lured into the easy money. Some work six days in a factory and then try to enjoy a few drinks with friends while coming out better off and perhaps earning more on a Saturday night than after six days at the sewing machine. Some have drugs and gambling habits - their own, their parents', their husbands' - to support.

SC

Always better to criticise the poster than provide an argument to the post....

[andypae]

I have a number of friends who are in there late 40's early 50's and have younger Thai wifes around the 23 - 28 age. All i can say is that most of them have now split up and the others fight like cat and dog.

Im not saying that age difference is a problem but from my experience when 2 people are from different generations they want different things. The girl generally wants looking after, nice things, holidays and money for back home to "show face" but the older guy can not understand the whole of "giving my hard earned cash away".

My wife and i are both 33, we have been together for 10 years now and married for 7. First baby on the way and our life could not be any better. My friends on the other hand are now on there own facing a legal battle to split everything 50 / 50 and back to square 1.

I know that this doesnt apply to everybody and each couples circumstances are all different, however where im from a trend is beginning to appear!!!

[Ulysses G.]

Always better to criticise the poster than provide an argument to the post....

It seems to me that he was criticizing your post, rather than you personally.