Pregnant By Absent Farang

[elliss]

i am friendly with a respectable and hard working thai lady ,

only friends because i do not want, and i am too old for the responsibility involved .

the lady had a long term relationship with a farang,

she was off the opinion , it would lead to marriage .

she becomes pregnant , and in due course gave birth to a baby girl .

the farang does a runner , and does not care about his child .

he has know returned to his home country ,england .

is there any way this man , can be legally held responsible for his actions ,

and be made to finance his daughters upbringing in thailand .

thanks for your valued opinions.

[maprao]

Does he know he is a father?

Does she have a contact number? He may be very happy to know he is a father!

If not then it is really no different to what happens to hundreds of thousands of Thai ladies here in Thailand every year! Especially with Thai BFs

I wish her luck.

[InterestedObserver]

Since the parents where not married and the father did not legalize his daughter at the local Amphur, then he is not legally responsible for the child under Thai law.

[champken]

If what you have been told is correct by your good, hardworking friend which is likely as Thais always tell the truth then this English guy is a you know what...but to answer your question..No, if he has done a runner then she would have a hard time trying to make him face up to his dirty deed

[saraburioz]

Responsible(sorry, respectable) Thai ladies don't get pregnant to "farang" without being married.

You'll be saying she lives in Pattaya next.

[IanForbes]

The guy is a jerk but what else is new. I know that if a foreigner commits a serious offence like rape or pedophilia then there might be some recourse between agreeing countries, but in the case of pregnancy it would be impossible to go after a man if there hadn't been an official marriage. It's no different than a Thai man impregnating a Thai girl and then doing a runner. Thai authorities don't consider that a problem.

[cardholder]

Legally, no.

If this was a long-term relationship the lady will have a UK address for her former boyfriend.

You could try getting someone in the UK to write to him saying that, before your friend instructs solicitors to make a paternity claim, would he like to make a voluntary offer of financial support for his daughter.

It may make his arse twitch - particularly if he is married.

[cheshire88]

why is it assumed man is bad guy all the time. responsible thai women use condoms!

[noosard]

should be a man and face his responsibilities

I amagine he was old enough to put on a rubber himself

Respectable woman or not

[Mooner]

should be a man and face his responsibilities

I amagine he was old enough to put on a rubber himself

Respectable woman or not

His nationality is irrelevant! The guy is a asshol_e but there are bad guys the world over.

Enough with the xenophobia!

[sbk]

A derogatory generalization about women and Thai women has been removed. Keep your bigotry to yourself, thanks.

[JurgenG]

My best suggestion would be to contact organizations that are specialized in helping girls that have been made pregnant then dumped by irresponsible men, in the UK if the father is English. They know the law, they have lawyers, I think that the best people who can help your friend.

[cheshire88]

again. how do you come to conclusion man was irresponsible.no where was it said man wanted to marry, it was the woman who believed it was goning to happen. she made a judgement she now has to pay he price.

as always her bad decision has produced a child who starts life way behind the 8 ball.

[robblok]

again. how do you come to conclusion man was irresponsible.no where was it said man wanted to marry, it was the woman who believed it was goning to happen. she made a judgement she now has to pay he price.

as always her bad decision has produced a child who starts life way behind the 8 ball.

Its bad of the guy to leave, totally irresponsible but there are always 2 sides to a story. Maybe he asked for abortion, maybe she told him she was on the pil. Its not always as one sided. Childeren have been known to be used to trap a man in a relation.

Im not saying that it is right far from that but who knows what the real story is.

[JurgenG]

again. how do you come to conclusion man was irresponsible.no where was it said man wanted to marry, it was the woman who believed it was goning to happen. she made a judgement she now has to pay he price.

as always her bad decision has produced a child who starts life way behind the 8 ball.

Good question. What is the definition of "responsible" ?

Anyway, nobody asked him to marry her, just to pay for the kid if he is his. There is a part of "willingness" when a man makes a kid, so, like it or not, there is alo a part of responsibility. There are some good reasons why some culture ask for abstinence before wedding. On the other hand, you can have your lawyer writes and the other party sign a disclaimer for any responsibility should the condom leak ...

[robblok]

again. how do you come to conclusion man was irresponsible.no where was it said man wanted to marry, it was the woman who believed it was goning to happen. she made a judgement she now has to pay he price.

as always her bad decision has produced a child who starts life way behind the 8 ball.

Good question. What is the definition of "responsible" ?

Anyway, nobody asked him to marry her, just to pay for the kid if he is his. There is a part of "willingness" when a man makes a kid, so, like it or not, there is alo a part of responsibility.

True, but it also depends on how the child was conceived. If it was by deception id not be so willing to pay. However it would mean having sex with a girl without a condom and that does put part of the blame on me. I would have asked for abortion (in early stages). It all depends on the rest of the story of course.

[JurgenG]

again. how do you come to conclusion man was irresponsible.no where was it said man wanted to marry, it was the woman who believed it was goning to happen. she made a judgement she now has to pay he price.

as always her bad decision has produced a child who starts life way behind the 8 ball.

Good question. What is the definition of "responsible" ?

Anyway, nobody asked him to marry her, just to pay for the kid if he is his. There is a part of "willingness" when a man makes a kid, so, like it or not, there is alo a part of responsibility.

True, but it also depends on how the child was conceived. If it was by deception id not be so willing to pay. However it would mean having sex with a girl without a condom and that does put part of the blame on me. I would have asked for abortion (in early stages). It all depends on the rest of the story of course.

As I said the solution is a blank form prepared by a lawyer that the two parties fill and sign in front of witness before doing the act.

[robblok]

again. how do you come to conclusion man was irresponsible.no where was it said man wanted to marry, it was the woman who believed it was goning to happen. she made a judgement she now has to pay he price.

as always her bad decision has produced a child who starts life way behind the 8 ball.

Good question. What is the definition of "responsible" ?

Anyway, nobody asked him to marry her, just to pay for the kid if he is his. There is a part of "willingness" when a man makes a kid, so, like it or not, there is alo a part of responsibility.

True, but it also depends on how the child was conceived. If it was by deception id not be so willing to pay. However it would mean having sex with a girl without a condom and that does put part of the blame on me. I would have asked for abortion (in early stages). It all depends on the rest of the story of course.

As I said the solution is a blank form prepared by a lawyer that the two parties fill and sign in front of witness before doing the act.

Im just sensative on the subject because it almost happend to me with a Dutch lady not Thai. I was led to believe she was using the pil. Anyway i would not go without condoms for a new girl and if i was longer with an other one i would face up to my responsabilities. But i would make damm sure that if i did not want kids she was either on the pil or i use a condom or other things.

[kamluan]

should be a man and face his responsibilities

I amagine he was old enough to put on a rubber himself

Respectable woman or not

His nationality is irrelevant! The guy is a asshol_e but there are bad guys the world over.

Enough with the xenophobia!

Or he is smarter then most of us....lol

[Mosha]

A situation in the next village. A guy got a girl pregnant. Family demanded 10K Baht. He said no. My wife was outraged relating the story, my response was. Contraception, if he wouldn't wear a condom she should have said no. I also said "It takes 2 to tango". The girl's mother is a Puy Yai, and they obviously thought this would carry some weight.

[Kilgore Trout]

Why does it matter what race the man is?

What are the laws in Thailand? I implore you to investigate and take action. Surely Thailand takes care of its citizens in this respect, right?

Why should someone be judged differently than a Thai just because they are of a different race?

[beano2274]

Did this girl know this guy long or not? She must have some contact details, if not, then more fool her.

Also it takes two to tango (as posted above), so she knew what might happen.

If a Thai man done it, then no problem, but am sorry to say that because it is a foreigner someone is thinking of the money that could be made. Maybe this guy is married in the UK, who knows....

I do feel sorry for the baby in all of this though.

[Mario2008]

A paternity suit can be filed against the father. This means that the court will determine if he is indeed the father. If so, he will become the legal father and liable to pay child support. It could also mean that the child can also acquire the nationality of the father, next to Thai nationality.

Might be best to do this in the country of the father.

[Mario2008]

A situation in the next village. A guy got a girl pregnant. Family demanded 10K Baht. He said no. My wife was outraged relating the story, my response was. Contraception, if he wouldn't wear a condom she should have said no. I also said "It takes 2 to tango". The girl's mother is a Puy Yai, and they obviously thought this would carry some weight.

The law doesn't care about that. Even a client of a prositute must pay child support if she gets prgenant and has a bay from him.

The child is the repsonsibility of both and is the party that is protected here. Not the mother, not the father.

[BKKdreaming]

Hi

is there anyway the the child can get UK or USA (if he was American) citizenship ?

maybe by having a DNA test ?

Same basic story but it was an American.....

BK

[beano2274]

I thought the mother had to prove to the court he was the father beyond reasonable doubt, the court would then order him to have a DNA test to prove this fact.

Who would take care of the costs associated with a paternity suit?

Maybe his circumstances in the UK are such that he cannot pay for the child as he is already married, who knows?

Also this girl does not have any contact numbers or addresses, it might be difficult to locate him.

I would prefer that the OP shed more light onto this story so that we can pass judgment or give opinions

[nocturn]

Does he know he is a father?

Does she have a contact number? He may be very happy to know he is a father!

If not then it is really no different to what happens to hundreds of thousands of Thai ladies here in Thailand every year! Especially with Thai BFs

I wish her luck.

it is not at all different from what happens to women in England, Taiwan, Zimbabwe, Zurich or anywhere else on this planet.

but more to the point, the woman has been left in a lurch. My experience in the matter is rather limited, as i am raising my child.

I am sure she could pursue it in either Thai or English courts, it just depends how far she wants to go, and what she can afford.

To those of you squealing deception, yeah right, turn this around and blame the woman -- they are all whores after all, just like 'er indoors. look no farther than your own hearth for proof.

[JurgenG]

A situation in the next village. A guy got a girl pregnant. Family demanded 10K Baht. He said no. My wife was outraged relating the story, my response was. Contraception, if he wouldn't wear a condom she should have said no. I also said "It takes 2 to tango". The girl's mother is a Puy Yai, and they obviously thought this would carry some weight.

You're right, it takes two.

Nobody asks the father to take full responsibility, just half.

IMO for 10,000 he really gets a good deal, it'll probably cost much much more than that for the mother to raise the baby.

[ExpatJ]

Need more facts- if the father tried to persaude her to get an abortion, made it clear he couldn't and wouldn't provide support, and yet she continued anyway with the pregnancy expecting financial support in any case- then i think its fair enough if he did a runner (though personally i wouldnt be able to know i had a child and then just forget about the kid and refuse support).

however, if he gave her the impression that he wanted to get married and would help with the kid- then just got cold feet and did a runner....in this case there are things you could do- if he continues to refuse to help- she could send emails to his colleagues and boss explaining what he did also to his family members (wouldn't take too much research if she knows some details about him). Also she could contact the local news paper etc. Basically shame him in front of his employers/family- and keep at it.

[DavidSL]

Nice to see the charmless and witless coming out in full on this post!

'It takes 2 to tango,' is indeed the phrase that stands out here. It does take TWO people - and whether or not it was an accident, BOTH of those people are responsible for the events that follow. If this lady felt this was a long term relationship, why shouldn't she be happy to have a child with the guy? Some of the xenophobic posts around these forums really make me shudder for our reputation in this Country.

Fact is, the guy ran away (going by this story). A Thai woman was left holding the baby, literally, and he's buggered off to go live his own pitiful life without a care in the World (judging by his actions). Maybe the true story is that the woman lied to him, or the guy lied to her, or they both lied to each other, or it was all a big scam, or it's all about money, or whatever other judgmental story you'd like to throw into the mix, but let's just concentrate on what we've been told, shall we? I mean, since the OP actually KNOWS the woman, it's more likely that he's a better judge of her than all of you thrown together. The amount of times threads degrade into bitterness because of your ego-filled 'knowledge' of 'all things Thai'. What it comes down to is that phrase, 'It take 2 to tango'. That means both parties are responsible - it's 50/50. Therefore the guy should be here facing up to his responsibilities. There's a baby in the middle of all this, and that doesn't change whichever way you spin the story. So arguments aside, callous name-calling and innuendo put down for a moment, think about it this way - no matter whether the guy or girl are the most decent people in the World, it's not really about them, anymore, is it?