electrozebra Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) How do I win over the family now I have refused to pay a double sin-sot? Yes, 2 sin-sot and 100+ guests at an air conditioned restaurant. One sin-sot for mother and one for the daughter (who I will call Pran). Mother decided some time ago that her daughter and I must get married or that Pran has to stop seeing me.The mother says I have had too much free sex over the last two years and now I have to get married and pay the double sin-sot. (The fact I helped Pran to the tune of 250,000 Baht in the first year has fallen on deaf ears and the sex certainly was not free if you look at it in that respect). The money forming an allowance and also to help her sort out some business deals. Mother says she is now losing 'Face'. Pran is 36, has a 15 year old son and is a widow of 8 or so years. From a good family with land, business, condos and generally good jobs. For the record, I am 55 years old. Well, Pran told her mother several weeks ago that I refuse to pay sin-sot because she has already been married and has a son and we have been trying to work a way around this for some time. Now the family refuse to talk to me or see me even though we previously got on well. I have not refused to marry Pran. In fact we are working together now for her to start a 6 month beauticians course funded by myself. Something she really wants to do and has had previous experience in. At the end of the course she has a guaranteed job in a good, busy salon with the usual 40% She intends to work there for practical experience before opening her own place (No jokes about salons please, we've heard them all before and this location is good for salon work believe it or not). She also has land of her own that gives her in the region of 100,000 Baht a year before expenses, thanks in part to my help. Working in the salon also gives Pran the oportunity to go tend to her crops when she needs to. Pran went to see her mother on Sunday. Mother threw the daughter out of the house after our latest proposal towards marrying and trying to reach some agreement were dimissed with disdain. Pran is now in hospital - suffering from stress and other problems. She refuses to give me up and wants to appease both sides. She also loves her mother and myself and does not want to lose either of us. I'll add that mother uses her contacts and her power to find out what Pran is doing. Mother even installed a cousin of Pran's into her apartment a couple of months ago to spy on Pran. The cousin has no say in tha matter as her own family are in mothers debt. Mother will phone Pran. If Pran does not answer, mother then phones the cousin to ask to speak to Pran. If Pran is not there at night, mother knows who she will be with LOL Mother also has contact with the landlady of the apartments and phones to see if I have been there. Mother will travel 500 Kms to stay at the hotel nearby at a moments notice too so she can see what is happening. Considering I am already helping Pran and have done so for the last 2 years, is there any way to solve this dispute apart from caving in to the unrealistic demands of the mother? Or are we going to have to be patient, or simply carry on living as we are and with the aggravation? No, I am not going to run away. This is one very beautiful and extremely sexy lady who is fighting her own corner to keep me. edit..... I'm off for a few beers !!! Edited May 25, 2011 by electrozebra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 This is a joke,. Right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthepink Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 I barely speak a word to my girlfriends's mother as I think she is an interfering old bag and a know it all. We haven't ever discussed marriage or sin sot but I've still managed to fall out with her! In my case my gf is not really that bothered. She knows what her mother is like and accepts that I'm not keen on spending any time in her company. Your situation sounds a little more serious though; I am not sure I could deal with that level of interference. I would have to ask my gf to tell her mother to get lost - she is an adult after all (my gf). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerryk Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 What is the twist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chonburiram Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) Now the family refuse to talk to me or see me even though we previously got on well. ...sounds like the perfect condition for a peaceful and harmonic relationship... Edited May 25, 2011 by Chonburiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debothai Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Just buy her Mum 2-3 baht of gold and tell her there's more of that coming in the future when you will be better off...I am sure she will agree.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerryLH Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 "In fact we are working together now for her to start a 6 month beauticians course funded by myself." She can do that through the non formal education system for very low, or no cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travelmann Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) Well id tell Mum to F*** off and if Daughter didnt help you with this her as well. Dont fall for this crap. I like the bit about the beautician course...............laughable, when are you buying her the shop? save your money send it to me instead. Edited May 25, 2011 by travelmann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moe666 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 move to another location. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Double sin -sot? Sounds similar to a case double pneumonia, both bring you down to your knees and both are something you want to be rid of. My advice is; ask your future ever loving, ever caring mother in law if you may pay by how well this ever loving, ever caring widow with a child in tow performs, as this does appear to be a realationship based strictly as a business venture for this prize catch. All I can say is; that if you decide to go though with this farce, then you must be absolutely desperate. Good luck with your widow and all who sail in her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 "Now the family refuse to talk to me or see me even though we previously got on well" I would think this is a bonus..... Tell the old bag to FO... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electrozebra Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 This is a joke,. Right? I wish it was a joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elektrified Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) You can meet nice girls in Thailand that you don't have to pay to be your girlfriend. Would you pay a girl in Europe, USA, Australia, Canada, etc. to be your girlfriend? Of course not. They would have their own jobs and be self-sufficient. I never could understand why men come to Thailand and pay women to be their girlfriends and/or wives. I guess it is out of desperation. If someone doesn't want you for who you are, and only for what you can do or give to that person, then move on. I have always met girls in Thailand that have their own assets and/or have good jobs so this problem doesn't arise. My g/f and mother of my child only speaks to her Mother 2-3 times a year and she lives 15 minutes from us. She doesn't want the stress of her Mother nagging her or asking her for money. Just choose carefully and avoid getting into these kind of situations. Edited May 25, 2011 by elektrified Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electrozebra Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 Well id tell Mum to F*** off and if Daughter didnt help you with this her as well. Dont fall for this crap. I like the bit about the beautician course...............laughable, when are you buying her the shop? save your money send it to me instead. Ah, but I am not buying the shop. That is funded from elsewhere. So no need to send you the money Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kunash Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 How much are you expected to pay for each sin sod? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJIC Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) Sigmund Freud would have called this controlling influence of the Mother.a "Mother Daughter Fixation"although in this instance its more of a "Mother Money Fixation" Your Girlfriend is a mature woman by her years(well past her prime in Thailand and their standards) but it's about time she grows up emotionally,and decides where her life and future lies, with you? or her Manipulating Greedy Mother? As in Thai speak:......up 2 her! Don't have none of this shit,between them,yes I repeat between them,they are intent on squeezing as much money as possible out of you, Wise up! Edited May 25, 2011 by MAJIC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 I'm not sure I understand this. You say you're paying two sin-sods - one for the MIL and one for her daughter. Are you marrying them both? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardholder Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) The bottom line is that you pay and create false harmony, the top line is you don't pay and risk continuing disharmony. A compromise ? No - none exists. You have got to be prepared to put up and shut up OR, tell your girl that you love her very much but you have to move away (**) OR tell your girl that if she wants to keep you then you will not marry (under these terms) and you get with your lives, with you not being part of the family. Will not be the first to do it that way. (**) Sorry, just seen that you are 500km away from MIL - where are you, where is the mother and which hospital is your GF in ? Edited May 25, 2011 by cardholder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somtampet Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 This is a joke,. Right? Got to be a windup,although i havent read all of the pst,same same.she is wealthy but he gave her 250,000 baht heheheheheheh what a wasteful man lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robkey69 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Well all this talk about Sin-Sot and having to pay to marry a Thai woman is true in a way but mostly 100% BS.....Yes there is the show at the wedding where money is laid down and the women's family collects it...But really this is a show....Any good non scamming Thai family returns the money to the "Farlang". It's really just a money show so everyone thinks the woman has married up in culture.... Now if you marry a poor Thai-Esan farm girl chances are the family will keep the money as they view there daughter just like they view a "money pig" It's something that brings money into some lazy @ss Thai families. After 15 of marriage I have to say Thai women are no different then American or European women....its all about security.....not much about love...Men get married for love...women get married for security.... As a Farlang you take your spot right below the family dog...555555 If you want your Thai girl to stop having sex....marry her... Just remember....a good Thai woman is hard to find......and Harder to get rid of... for what its worth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moe666 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Pay up and marry your girlfriend what have you got to lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossfinn Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Don't you mean loose? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 You can meet nice girls in Thailand that you don't have to pay to be your girlfriend. Would you pay a girl in Europe, USA, Australia, Canada, etc. to be your girlfriend? Of course not. They would have their own jobs and be self-sufficient. I never could understand why men come to Thailand and pay women to be their girlfriends and/or wives. I guess it is out of desperation. If someone doesn't want you for who you are, and only for what you can do or give to that person, then move on. I have always met girls in Thailand that have their own assets and/or have good jobs so this problem doesn't arise. My g/f and mother of my child only speaks to her Mother 2-3 times a year and she lives 15 minutes from us. She doesn't want the stress of her Mother nagging her or asking her for money. Just choose carefully and avoid getting into these kind of situations. If you have had a gf or wife in any of these places and not paid then you are an absolute genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonman Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Tell the MIL that in order for you to be paying for her as well sex would be expected once payment is made but you would like to try before you buy first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheshire88 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) darn......yove spent sin soot many times over already! mom just playing hardball! just business dude. ps. the girl prolly dont want to see a bag of money leave either. must be really tough on her too. come on 56 marrying a 35. same same! Edited May 25, 2011 by cheshire88 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rizla Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Can`t understand why so many farangs marry when they come here....puzzles me. If you fit together well, no need for a paper chase .....been with my beloved for some time now...4 years No house built, all items in my name (only a honda click) which was a present from me to her. No money to her family, weekly, monthly or one time lumps... Told her from the outset, no kids, wont be getting married, therefore no sin sod..... Yes i feed her, buy her clothes, take her out and all that....but no money to her or her family.......(no kids) She was working in a 7-11, but next month she starts her new course at the local Uni, and before you ask, she got credit for the course from the Uni...she wouldn`t or didn`t ask me to pay.. So, in a nutshell get yourself out OR tell them no....yes i understand some can play the long game, if they do and for very little, it means to me that after that yes the will be rewarded.....good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahsbloke Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 They are all sexy. Choose one with a better lease scheme and easier payments. Oh, and without the 15yo son, they are always a right pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mugg Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 You sound like a very enterprising young man of 55. You made a few decision that I imagine you thought through to a point that a conclusion was made based on facts. When your base on principle, 99% of ones decisions are already made. The true intent of Sin-Sod does not really play well in this Scenario. I would be the last one to say "Family and Business" is a great idea. I also feel the OP is not an idiot, perhaps a few misguided choices, but choices all the same. Make your BAFO (Best and Final Offer) and be prepared to cut your losses. Yes that might mean dumping the GF. She will not disgrace her family by just turning her back on them. The BAFO should have a NLT Date, submit in writing to her so no one else has to see it, or know what the offer is. You already lost your GF by the fact she is stressed to the point the she needs hospital care. This is a New deal, make it and live with it.. I would also watch your ass (back) if the deal is "NO DEAL" . Disgracing a powerful woman like your GF's mother, is not a good way to see age 56. Good luck to you and your GF, very sorry to here about her stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noosard Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 You can meet nice girls in Thailand that you don't have to pay to be your girlfriend. Would you pay a girl in Europe, USA, Australia, Canada, etc. to be your girlfriend? Of course not. They would have their own jobs and be self-sufficient. I never could understand why men come to Thailand and pay women to be their girlfriends and/or wives. I guess it is out of desperation. If someone doesn't want you for who you are, and only for what you can do or give to that person, then move on. I have always met girls in Thailand that have their own assets and/or have good jobs so this problem doesn't arise. My g/f and mother of my child only speaks to her Mother 2-3 times a year and she lives 15 minutes from us. She doesn't want the stress of her Mother nagging her or asking her for money. Just choose carefully and avoid getting into these kind of situations. If you have had a gf or wife in any of these places and not paid then you are an absolute genius. To true of Oz woman, you all the bills split half of your whole and get kneed in the nuts door slammed on your arse on the way out thanks for coming or in this case not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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