Waiting To Get Into Heaven..

[Totster]

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven.

However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit

33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the

worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in

turn and asks them about how they died.

First man: "I'd been suspecting for a long time that my wife was

cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one

afternoon and check to see if I could catch her in the act. When

I got back to my apartment, I heard the water running. My wife

was in the shower. I looked everywhere for the guy, but couldn't

find anyone or any trace that he had been there. The last place

I looked was out on the balcony.

I found the bastard hanging from the edge, trying to get back

in! So I started jumping up and down on his hands, and he

yelled, but he didn't fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer,

and crushed his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors

screaming in agony. But the fall didn't kill the ######. He

landed in some bushes! So I dragged the refirgerator from the

kitchen (it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and

hurled it over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed

him. But then I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went

back into the bedroom and shot myself."

St. Peter nodded slowly as the man recounted the story. Then,

telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside.

Second man: "I lived on the twenty-seventh floor of this

apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning

exercises and was practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the

sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge. Luckily,

I only fell about two floors before grabbing another balcony and

holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull myself up when

this guy came running onto what must have been his balcony and

started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed in pain, but

he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I tried to pull

myself up again, but he came out with a hammer and smashed my

fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was dead, but I

landed in some bushes. I couldn't believe my second stroke of

luck, but it didn't last. The last thing I saw was this enormous

refrigerator falling from the building down on top of me and

crushing me."

St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken

bones. Then he told him to wait, and turned to the third man.

Third man: "Picture this. You're hiding, naked, in a

refrigerator..."

totster

[Jai Dee]

Good one Totster.

[A. BOOZER]

A good 'un!