Do You Know A More Messed Up Thai Girl Than This ?

[F1fanatic]

Most women rich or poor, pretty or ugly, educated or not have no idea what is making them unhappy, bored and to over think. When times are good they think it can never last and they worry when times are bad they tend to over thing and worry and freak out by watching drama on tv, creating drama with the people around them or looking for a hero. If a man starts listening to her demands or worries then in her eyes he lost and she will lose all attraction to him and see him as fool for listening to her. From a man who him self was a house husband and now a working husband never support a woman, girl friend and especially a wife. she has to stand on her own 2 feet and she has to work and pay her half. neever treat a woman as a helpless daughter no matter how beautiful she is no matter what nice words she chooses to use. BR

In my experience it is men who "have no idea what is making them, unhappy, bored" etc.... But, will always blame it on someone else, its never anything to do with them....

Western women are far more self-analytical, and realise exactly what the are feeling and why.

You are correct men have their issues as well. If men dont try to understand everything and start to realize they do not have to save and help a woman to feel good that can be a good start. men have to become aware that they have flaws too and they have to be able to see and come to peace with their in perfections. Money doesnt make a man and paying doesnt make a man either. Giving is not love, love is a partner that helps the other be the best version of themselves.

Quite.

When my husband died his g/f left everything of no value. This included his diary....

It was sad to see how all he cared about was being able to go out and "party". He thought that his 'much loved' (as he told his friends, not his diary) was pathetic to not understand that it was a "male thing".

[Ricardo]

I would advise the OP to suggest his friend gets blood-tests, for his children, to confirm his paternity.

To be perfectly honest, do you think a paternity testwould change or alter the behavior of a loving responsible man or therelationship with children that he has brought up? You think just because the paternityshows he’s not the biological father, the past years of loving and caressingthese children would go away and he’ll be free to toss the little bastards backto the woman’s parents (who are likely to be the ones taking care of them…? You don’t have any children, do you….?

Yes, I do have children, what's that got to do with anything I posted ? You may be reading too much into my suggestion. You certainly seem to react very strongly, to the idea of testing, why might that be ?

In a similar case to the OP, a trusting & honest friend checked 'his' new baby's DNA, after his partner had disappeared for a month, supposedly visiting family in Isaan but actually 'working' in the M.E., and found that it wasn't his after all.

He was then able to calmly consider those factors, which you list above and I also agree are important too, and made the decision not to spend the next 20 years working to raise someone-else's child with an unreliable & disloyal partner. Last I heard, the true father had been made aware of his parenthood (why deny him the chance to know his child ?) , and had accepted responsibility.

A happier outcome all round.

[welsh1]

One born every minute, grow a pair and get rid!

+1...I have met to many in Thailand who need to grow a pair and move on...but they stick around think tomorrow will be a better day .!!

[welsh1]

Stop worrying about the kids, she will only leave them with her mother, thats Thai culture.

The ones that sell their daughters.....

Think most thais would rather give birth to daughters ...At least in years to come they will or hope to have some sort of money for payment for the little girl .!!

[Forethat]

Yes, I do have children, what's that got to do with anything I posted ? You may be reading too much into my suggestion.

I read into your suggestion that he might get an option to bail out of the paternity - just like your friend did.

This raises an interesting political/legal question; if one should be allowed to discharge parenthood in case paternity test shows you're not the biological father, shouldn't that be considered valid grounds for adoptive parents as well? I am not saying that there's a difference raising your own kids or someone else's, but does this mean adoptive parents doesn't feel as strongly about their parenthood? Personally I have enough friends who are parenting children they didn't bring to this world to answer the question - not a single one of them would give up their children without one he** of a fight if it came to that.

Sorry if my reaction came through as strong, I guess that's only natural when discussing a topic as important as this - I for one can't understand how someone can develop the immensely deep relationship with a child and then throw that away, I guess there's a difference between being a father and a daddy; even the biggest schmuck can become a father, being a daddy takes entirely different qualities.

[richard_smith237]

He gave her enough rope to hang herself with, instead she's hanging him...

For those who commented on absentee parenting... A lot of guys work away i.e. month off - month on rotations, IMO ensuring the bills are paid and a finacially secure future is responsible parenting.

It appears the subjecet of this thread has simply handled this situation so poorly it has resulted in a woman lacking in moral standards running amok while all he can do is is best to maintain the moral highground. This is certainly not helping his case but given his situation with work and children he really is stuck unless he can somehow come to some lasting arrangement that she is forced to respect that doesn't involve financing a party lifestyle for the mother of his children.

Some have commented that this could / can also happen with women of higher socio-economic means.

I would offer that it certainly a safer bet to embrace the future with someone of similar education and socio-economic means than one where there is significant disparity in status.

Edited June 13, 2011 by richard_smith237

[Mirth]

I see her everyday. Ex husband works offshore making 60-70 grand a month. Bought her car, motorbike, new house and monthly allowance. And when he goes off to work, he pass her the money to pay for all these things and his ATM card. This woman spends it all on shopping and food till the banks and finance companies took back everything. Good thing they don't have kids but now, she's pregnant with another man but looks like he's a hit and runner.

[Forethat]

I see her everyday. Ex husband works offshore making 60-70 grand a month. Bought her car, motorbike, new house and monthly allowance. And when he goes off to work, he pass her the money to pay for all these things and his ATM card. This woman spends it all on shopping and food till the banks and finance companies took back everything. Good thing they don't have kids but now, she's pregnant with another man but looks like he's a hit and runner.

So you're telling us he bought her a car, motorbike, new house and put everything on finance in her name? Cute.

[kaorop]

As Annie sung: "some want to abuse you, some want to be abused"  

match met match  

Seems to me that many shy, un-law western guy types find, to them, a very hot thai girl who, is all over them like flies on kee, having never experienced this attention ever!  

All logic flys out the window.

Edited June 13, 2011 by kaorop

[Kwasaki]

I've never heard of this before anywhere in the world.

[chris5346]

hi,

i'm in a potentially similar situation and i don't know what to do ,

my child is one one year old and the thought of losing her seems too hard for me to handle sometimes so i stay in a bad relationship with the mother, no love, little trust, arguments about money etc etc,

any advice please before i end up in a mental home.

good luck to your friend sounds like he's been through the worst of it.

[kerryk]

hi,

i'm in a potentially similar situation and i don't know what to do ,

my child is one one year old and the thought of losing her seems too hard for me to handle sometimes so i stay in a bad relationship with the mother, no love, little trust, arguments about money etc etc,

any advice please before i end up in a mental home.

good luck to your friend sounds like he's been through the worst of it.

Not in Thailand. I left a similar relationship after two years and felt guilty about it for 20 years. Then I married again and stayed in a similar relationship for 20 years and was unhappily married for 20 years. Now I am closer to the child from the first relationship than the one from the second and that makes no sense. The only thing that made any sense to me was to move to Thailand say to heck with it and not get married again.

[Livinginexile]

I have known many of these long suffering weak character victims of emotional abuse, that do not have the willpower, guts, or determination to be able to help themselves.

To be honest I consider these types of men pathetic and they make me want to vomit. Classical wimps in the first degree.

These people seem to enjoy wallowing in they’re own misery and expect everyone to feel sympathetic.

My advice is: let your friend get on with it and have to come to terms with his situation himself.

If the crunch came to the crunch, he will put his wife before you, he would cast you out before his wife, even if she is the one of the worst whoring bitches in the world.

Stay out, just observe and let nature take it`s course, because this is a no hope case.

Well said!

+1

[Livinginexile]

Stop worrying about the kids, she will only leave them with her mother, thats Thai culture.

The ones that sell their daughters.....

Exactly!

[Nawtier]

hi,

i'm in a potentially similar situation and i don't know what to do ,

my child is one one year old and the thought of losing her seems too hard for me to handle sometimes so i stay in a bad relationship with the mother, no love, little trust, arguments about money etc etc,

any advice please before i end up in a mental home.

good luck to your friend sounds like he's been through the worst of it.

Get out of it, do whatever you can to get out and keep your daughter if possible.

If you have the financial support you can do it, if not then will be difficult.

[Ricardo]

Yes, I do have children, what's that got to do with anything I posted ? You may be reading too much into my suggestion.

I read into your suggestion that he might get an option to bail out of the paternity - just like your friend did.

This raises an interesting political/legal question; if one should be allowed to discharge parenthood in case paternity test shows you're not the biological father, shouldn't that be considered valid grounds for adoptive parents as well? I am not saying that there's a difference raising your own kids or someone else's, but does this mean adoptive parents doesn't feel as strongly about their parenthood? Personally I have enough friends who are parenting children they didn't bring to this world to answer the question - not a single one of them would give up their children without one he** of a fight if it came to that.

Sorry if my reaction came through as strong, I guess that's only natural when discussing a topic as important as this - I for one can't understand how someone can develop the immensely deep relationship with a child and then throw that away, I guess there's a difference between being a father and a daddy; even the biggest schmuck can become a father, being a daddy takes entirely different qualities.

There is always an option to bail out, I've known men who (say that they) walked away from pregnant women half-a-dozen times, I wouldn't do that myself (I hope) but not everyone is a responsible father. You have to want to stick around, through the hard times, when you're suddenly demoted from number-1 position in your wife/partner's affections & priorities. It's not easy.

In my friend's case, it resulted in the biological father having the opportunity to know about his daughter's existence, which I think is a good thing, and my friend is now happily-married (for 3 years) to someone-else.

In the OP's case, it is clear that the father was often away working elsewhere, and that his wife had other partners at times. If she also goes boozing overnight, even she may not know, who the fathers of her children are, for certain. Establishing the facts just seems to me to be a sensible thing to do, doesn't necessarily mean the adoptive-father would have to walk away, but the decision to continue to stay with his wife (in this case they divorced) should be made in-the-light-of the full facts.

After all, if he continues to stay, he will still be with his wife long after the children have grown-up and left home.

Edited June 14, 2011 by Ricardo

[JPPR2]

<br />

<br />Most women rich or poor, pretty or ugly, educated or not have no idea what is making them unhappy, bored and to over think. When times are good they think it can never last and they worry when times are bad they tend to over thing and worry and freak out by watching drama on tv, creating drama with the people around them or looking for a hero. If a man starts listening to her demands or worries then in her eyes he lost and she will lose all attraction to him and see him as fool for listening to her. From a man who him self was a house husband and now a working husband never support a woman, girl friend  and especially a wife. she has to stand on her own 2 feet and she has to work and pay her half. neever treat a woman as a helpless daughter no matter how beautiful she is no matter what nice words she chooses to use. BR<br />

<br /><br />In my experience it is men who "have no idea what is making them, unhappy, bored" etc.... But, will always blame it on someone else, its never anything to do with them....<br /><br />Western women are far more self-analytical, and realise exactly what the are feeling and why.<br />

<br /><br /><br />

I agree with both assessments in general. If you move somewhere unhappy, uncertain, bored etc it is most likely not going to do a 180 and be the dream world when you land. The individual may have ran but the reality followed them. Flying over the ocean does not clear your conscience. In fact I believe most foreigners moving here believe that the answer to their unhappiness resides with a young Thai woman and a lot of booze. That these subtle beauties can't wait to meet a foreigner man to love, cherish and take care of them. As we read on TV and other forums this, in many cases, is the farthest from the truth and reality.

Generally speaking most the foreigner men who stay in these cheating relationships are blinded by the fact they are still hooked on the "I cant believe this young beauty loves me" drug and will drop to their knees at all costs to have her stay no matter what she does. Once this young lady learns she has control of this broken man(or good hearted man) the exploitation begins. But in the end he allows this behavior to continue. He owns the outcome. I have zero sympathy for the individual. Case in point, I have a foreigner acquaintance friend I met 6 months back and he is in this "Love Drug" mode. To hear him talk is almost sad. Tells me she is the best "woman" he has ever met(19 years old). That she listens to him and cares. That she treats him so nice. That he knows she will not cheat on him. That he loves buying her things, That she wants a baby with him. I walk away shaking my head. He has been hooked on the "Crackgina". You cannot talk any sense to him.

Someone in this thread commented that they cannot understand why a man would marry a bar girl, I tend to agree. Why do they? Maybe it is because it is the path of least dating resistance. They speak the language and clearly know how to manipulate the situation. It is easy to meet them as they are in career where their job is to meet men. They are little sales women. Maybe because the guy got turned inside out by her and fears losing it. Either way most, from what I have personally witnessed and heard, end in a ugly mess with the woman going back to her money making little enterprise and the poor man broke and broken. I do not frown on what these women do, I simply laugh at the men that fall into the trap.

[OlafStapleton]

In my life I discover a man must learn to say "you cause me problem, go away"

Once everyone know you know how say "go away", you never need to say it again.

[kerryk]

In my life I discover a man must learn to say "you cause me problem, go away"

Once everyone know you know how say "go away", you never need to say it again.

Do you really know a Thai woman who went away with something as simple as saying, "go away!"

Boy that is an interesting concept. Say, "go away."

Have you ever spent more than one night with a Thai woman?

[OlafStapleton]

In my life I discover a man must learn to say "you cause me problem, go away"

Once everyone know you know how say "go away", you never need to say it again.

Do you really know a Thai woman who went away with something as simple as saying, "go away!"

Boy that is an interesting concept. Say, "go away."

Have you ever spent more than one night with a Thai woman?

You read too literal!

I just move house and not tell (same same as "go away" but without violence).

As song say "Just slip out the back Jack"

[RichardSmith99999]

I've been married twice (non Thai), I'll not make that mistake again.

[kerryk]

In my life I discover a man must learn to say "you cause me problem, go away"

Once everyone know you know how say "go away", you never need to say it again.

Do you really know a Thai woman who went away with something as simple as saying, "go away!"

Boy that is an interesting concept. Say, "go away."

Have you ever spent more than one night with a Thai woman?

You read too literal!

I just move house and not tell (same same as "go away" but without violence).

As song say "Just slip out the back Jack"

I understand, Just drop off the key, Lee And get yourself free

[sunnyhor]

Let's say it this way, when you bought a carton of apples, not all will be fresh & good. I had seen and heard many this kind of "stories". There are good & also bad one.

Farang, okay westerners. Many Thai women, not so educated, from poor family, living in a village, have family taking care etc......... most of them see Farang like a "GOD"....honestly, in real, this is not the case. They see all farangs are rich, educated, hi profile etcccccc........ some will even marry a farang just because he is a farang. They think that marrying farang they will turn high class, good life, and will be a Queen at home polishing nails, facial, shopping.....many many dreams!!! If one get to know more and realize that her hubby couldn't give them anymore, some will seek elsewhere. Materialistic. Is this real Love? hmmmmmm.

BUT, but, there are also REAL love btw farang and Thai woman. I have know a few couples, farang and Thai living together for decades and still so in love no matter the hubby make big money or little, of course this LOVE is real!! Vice Versa, farangs choosing Thai to be their wife is exactly to same. Before involving with marriage with a Thai lady, make sure to understand and know more about her background before commit!!!

I apologized if my comment offend anyone, but I am speaking the truth I know. I have had friend Thai lady, who even plot to marry a farang for........... so good luck !! My 2 cents worth!

[Chicog]

sometimes i just want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him for about 3hrs , and slap him about

That's what he needs to do to her.

[Shotime]

In answer to your question, I've known a few. This isn't true in all cases, but you should learn not to take a relationship with a Thai woman too seriously. I like them a little crazy. There's little chance of commitment, and they're a lot more fun. Take a time.

I pity the fool.

[IanForbes]

in the OP's story the gal isn't messed up, but the man is. The gal is doing exactly what she pleases and it's working. The guy is no different than all the thousands of women who live in abusive marriages and yet don't leave. They've got a few screws loose in their brain. Speculating on other people's problems is like watching a train wreck. Some people like to watch and others shake their head in wonder and leave.

[WebBangkok]

I think millions of people are in the OP's type of relationship all over the world.

Its not because he has the "oh she is young and likes me"....... It's just some people are easily controlled.... My good mate in Sydney is under the thumb big time and he is 30 and so is she, she is big as a house too, so its not the look

[OlafStapleton]

Generally speaking most the foreigner men who stay in these cheating relationships are blinded by the fact they are still hooked on the "I cant believe this young beauty loves me" drug and will drop to their knees at all costs to have her stay no matter what she does. Once this young lady learns she has control of this broken man(or good hearted man) the exploitation begins. But in the end he allows this behavior to continue. He owns the outcome. I have zero sympathy for the individual. Case in point, I have a foreigner acquaintance friend I met 6 months back and he is in this "Love Drug" mode. To hear him talk is almost sad. Tells me she is the best "woman" he has ever met(19 years old). That she listens to him and cares. That she treats him so nice. That he knows she will not cheat on him. That he loves buying her things, That she wants a baby with him. I walk away shaking my head. He has been hooked on the "Crackgina". You cannot talk any sense to him.

More

"I can't believe this young beauty have sex with me, even ugly woman won't boom boom me back home"

Someone in this thread commented that they cannot understand why a man would marry a bar girl, I tend to agree. Why do they? Maybe it is because it is the path of least dating resistance. They speak the language and clearly know how to manipulate the situation. It is easy to meet them as they are in career where their job is to meet men. They are little sales women. Maybe because the guy got turned inside out by her and fears losing it. Either way most, from what I have personally witnessed and heard, end in a ugly mess with the woman going back to her money making little enterprise and the poor man broke and broken. I do not frown on what these women do, I simply laugh at the men that fall into the trap.

Same Same

Bargirl very experience with sex, sex usually very good.

Many men from home country never have good sex before, sex in Thailand very good very easy to find. Often sex find you, no need go out look.

[Shotime]

I think millions of people are in the OP's type of relationship all over the world.

Its not because he has the "oh she is young and likes me"....... It's just some people are easily controlled.... My good mate in Sydney is under the thumb big time and he is 30 and so is she, she is big as a house too, so its not the look

I would tend to agree with you., but I'm not sure if controlled is the right word. However, it's close. I know some men who need a Mother. What you call that, I'm not sure, but they've been indoctrinated to believe that if they're not married, they're bums. Like me.

Five will get you ten that Olaf isn't real crazy about farangs. Unfortunately, he is only helping to maintain the misconceptions about his own country

[erre191]

Just another farang-clown and one of many, many similar stories. I am pleased, after 15 years in Pattaya, to still be of sound? mind and not a part of the di..-controlled circus team. They all get what they deserve and sometimes a bit more. It does not pay as an outsider to get involved and I have seen many friendships suffering, if one was to point out the reality to a Pattaya clown. :jap: