Should I Tell Her I Had A Vasectomy?

[andrewbkk]

Quite honorable if you have lived with her for over 2 years with no sex.

Why is that honorable?

[Patsycat]

Cuddles are nice.

[nocturn]

unless your knob has been deep inside her, there is no need to bring up its functionality. Once you've slept with her, then its time to talk.

[nocturn]

So why play games? Just tell her.

He wants to have sex with her first

He (or she) hasn't bothered in the last few months.

She is obviously intending just to use him as a stud - I wouldn't tell her.

why is it obvious, one would think at 40, it was obvious she wasn't

[nocturn]

So why play games? Just tell her.

He wants to have sex with her first

Why not?

Sex is just another way to get to know each other better.

After one year of sex the time might be right to discuss kids so nothing to worry about now I suppose.

Spoken like a man. Sex is "Just a way to get to know each other" - sure,for men. For women it usually has much stronger emotional connotations. If you don't tell her something that basic and topical (because it seems the conversation has come up already), after a few months of seeing her, I'd say you are one heartless s.o.b. There are plenty of 40 year olds who don't want kids, find one of those, and stop messing with people's emotions for the sake of your libido.

spoken like a true asshat. a nonsensical generalization like gay men are usually promiscuous and mexicans are lazy. how do you even know she wants kids?

[kerryk]

Alls well that ends well. She just left for work.

The conversation went something like, “you don't have to worry, I have a vasectomy.” She, “I don't want children. So that's fine.”

[bangkokburning]

told my girlfriend very early on, she's is 34. 

i have told my 32+ girlfriends for years - if you wanted kids, you should have had them when you were younger. Don't look at me (@50) to meet that need.  &quot;Oh, but I never met a nice guy like you&quot;...  Should have looked harder.<br /><br />make sure you still use condoms until you both are checked 2x over six months -minimum

Edited July 4, 2011 by bangkokburning

[thaibeachlovers]

I haven't read all the posts, but one thing that seems to be missing is her using birth control. If she thinks the OP can father children, she will probably be on birth control, which can have side effects. It would be negligent of the OP to have a sexual relationship with her and not inform her that medication is not necessary.

While some may say he will be using condoms, they are not 100% reliable, and if I was a woman that didn't want children I certainly wouldn't be reliant on condoms.

I presume the OP has had tests to see that he is indeed shooting blanks, as there have been instances of auto reversal of vasectomies.

[kerryk]

I haven't read all the posts, but one thing that seems to be missing is her using birth control. If she thinks the OP can father children, she will probably be on birth control, which can have side effects. It would be negligent of the OP to have a sexual relationship with her and not inform her that medication is not necessary.

While some may say he will be using condoms, they are not 100% reliable, and if I was a woman that didn't want children I certainly wouldn't be reliant on condoms.

I presume the OP has had tests to see that he is indeed shooting blanks, as there have been instances of auto reversal of vasectomies.

Is really a good idea to read the posts. I told her last night and everything is fine.

[StreetCowboy]

told my girlfriend very early on, she's is 34.

i have told my 32+ girlfriends for years - if you wanted kids, you should have had them when you were younger. Don't look at me (@50) to meet that need. "Oh, but I never met a nice guy like you"... Should have looked harder.<br /><br />make sure you still use condoms until you both are checked 2x over six months -minimum

32+ girlfriends! No wonder you lose count. You may not be a better man than me, gungadin, but you must be stronger, to keep so many on the go

SC

[up-country_sinclair]

I know it's now been resolved, but IMO a man who's had a vasectomy has a responsibility to inform the woman before having sex. But this only holds true if it seems like she's interested in a long term relationship and not just a one time or casual thing.

But as I mentioned, it's all been resolved so I wish the OP and his friend good luck.

[bangkokburning]

Oh sorry - no, my girlfriends that were older than 32.

But I most likely have had more than 32 legitimate real girlfriends since I was 15. Does not include a huge period when I wanted nothing to do with that (25-49) scene and just rented.