flnu Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Our maid up and quit today. It actually took me some time to understand that she was quitting and I am unclear on the reasons but she seemed to be pretty unhappy with her working conditions. I'd like to keep the next one happy so help me understand what to do differently. Here are the basics: We are a family of 4 (husband, wife, 4 yo, baby). We asked her to work M-F 7:30 to 7 and 1/2 day on Sat. with no childcare duties. I made two specific requests: cook dinner and pack a lunch for me. Other than that, I let her use her time as she sees fit. For one month, she worked her ass off. The first week or so, I would tell her, you're working too hard, time to stop working when quitting time rolled around. No, no Madame, mai bpen rai. No problem Madame. I told her, just box last night's dinner for my lunch the next day. No, no Madame, I'll get up to make your lunch fresh in the morning. I told her, you don't have to iron the sheets or iron this or iron that. No, no Madame, I'll just iron them a little bit. I eventually quit trying to get her to work less. However, when she quit, it seemed to be because I made her work too hard and too many hours. And I agree, she did work too many hours but never at my request. I never complained about anything that she did other than to tell her to work less. She was fantastic. I paid her 13,500 per month, which I thought was a competitive salary (she is Thai and speaks some English)? There was one Thai holiday that happened in the month she was with us, I gave her that day off and a bonus of either 500 or 1000 (can't remember). I paid her weekly. My husband does stay home during the day with the baby but I am certain that he was in no way inappropriate toward her. (She is nearly 50 and really not attractive; and my husband would not have been flirtatious even with a pretty 20 y.o. plus he always has the baby.) We are a happy family (no yelling or fighting). We were always respectful toward her. So, is there a subtext that I'm missing? What am I doing wrong? Was I supposed to pay overtime? Any ideas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samran Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) From experience - stop trying to read too much into it! We and other friends gone through tonnes of maids/nannies. All seems to be going swimmingly, then whoosh...gone. There is no rhyme nor reason to it. Likely you'll never know the real reason. I've seen them all: - She just didn't like the job/hours/location - Had some family thing to attend to - Got a better offer elsewhere - Thought she was working too hard (but didn't want to tell you) - Thought she couldn't work the way she wanted - Really didn't want to work with kids - Wanted to work with your kids more - Just needed cash for a month - etc, etc, etc Hard not to feel rejected with these things (strangely). It just takes time to find the 'right' person to help around the house! Edited July 9, 2011 by samran Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolf5370 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Probably nothing - she earned the money she wanted, you paid her too well perhaps, and she's left. This seems a national trait here - can't get people to work over-time (paid) because they have earned the money they want/need and that is that. Probably better off getting a younger maid and paying her less, but fairly (bear in mind most unskilled Thais earn around 5k/mo - so 13.5k+ is a good wage). Keep em mean, keep em keen. The other way is to work a week in hand - if they leave without notice, they lose the week in hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave111223 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) Is she live in? 7:30AM - 7:00PM is pretty long hours if she's not living in? (63 hours a week including the half day on saturday) Edited July 9, 2011 by dave111223 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomTumTiger Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Check your valuables. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flnu Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Yes, she was live-in. And I tried to make her room attractive -- got her a TV and fan and told her to purchase whatever she needed for bedding and towels. Ugh on checking the valuables but I am sure good advice. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristopherWilliamsBKK Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Money is irrelevant if the person doesn't enjoy their surroundings and no "Sanook" is available. Very long hours too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flnu Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Ok, I guess I don't know how to fix that other than offer fewer hours, which I will do with the next one. Thanks to all for taking the time to reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlafStapleton Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Get illegal Burmese maid, pay very low wage (3000bht). Same as rich Thai do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonto21 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) Amazing Thailand, This happens a few times to friends and me,with gardeners. A maid and general labor working for someone I know (what Ithink is borderline exploitation) they are paid 150 Baht a day from sunrise to sunset….and then some; they are still there 4 years on. Other workers, well paid, good hours and treated with respect, don't last more than 3 months, OK, not all, but I call this the England football syndrome; somehow, no matter how well things are going, somehow the ability to 'snatch defeat from the jaws of victory' never fails to amaze me. Edited July 9, 2011 by Tonto21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heng Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 The lifestyles of the folks who are maids are sometimes unstable. She might have had to move on out of necessity. It's the husbands and family members of these types of gals that are suddenly killed on the roads (and often at sea) every single day out there. Maybe she had to go and tend to other responsibilities. Two Lao maids here now (at 4,000 Baht each + room and board), our former Khmer maid had to 'go home' because her husband was lost at sea (he was working on a fishing boat, and not the 'Most Dangerous Catch' variety that reaps up to $100k a haul). The very last Lao maid/nanny had to go home because she found a lump in her breast that might very well be cancer. (I confess that the last one wasn't exactly legal... we had to let her papers go invalid after 4 years because they simply wouldn't renew her for a 5th year a little ways back, or else she could have been treated here) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveLynch Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Hi there you just never know with maids it could have been any of the reasons mentioned above that said 12 hrs a day is still 12 hrs a day plus you mentioned she was 50 ish ,id say next time cut the hours down , what can a maid do for 12 hours 5 and a half days a week that cant be achieved in 5 days 9 hours a day yes i know its Thailand and sadly been a maid /nanny /gardener is a poor paying job with long hours ,but these conditions are dictated by ourselves we dont need to pay right on the bone i share a house with 3 other guys we are pigs 4 br house and a garden etc... ....... we have aBurmese maid she works well but doesnt knock her self out ,she starts at 9 am and finishes at 4 pm 5 days a week i pay for her food ,she does no cooking just laundry and cleaning we paY her 8 k a month ,that what she asked for when i interviewed her .she been with us 3 months i think i said id give her 9 after the initaial 3 month period , more important on top of that we talk to her ,ask about her life she recently got married and as a result of been friendly she invited us to her wedding ,we didnt bother going as i was hungover (different story) some times its not how you treat somebody but more how your not treating them if that makes any sense who ever said that a burmese maid will work for 3 k a month must have a studio ,im guessing the OP is talking about at least a town house 2-3-4 bedroms or a large condo if this is true please find me one ill pay you the extra 7k a monthfrom my 10k budget for the duration of thier employment with me thai salerys are about 10-15 a month .you get what you pay for if you want a english speaker the price goes up ,if you want her to cook western food the price is higher Best thing is drop the next girls hours and interact with them more ,i know if i spent near 70 hrs in work a week id like to feel like i belonged there too best of luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaroni man Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 you paid her a very good wage, and you paid her weekly, most thais work 12 hr days so the hrs are not too long for thai service industry, as others have posted you will never know, we have gone through too many to count and are thrilled that this one has been with us for 2yrs a record for us, but to be honest she takes advantage of us but she is very good with the children so i let it pass rather than look for perfection as that is a dream in los. just keep hiring and consider it part of having staff here today gone tomorrow. my boys have grown to understand and we even sing; "another one bites the dust" just to put a little sugar on the pain of the loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metapod Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 13,500 is a decent salary for that work. Hell I might even have a friend or two interested. My friend has been working reception jobs and only getting paid 8000 baht a month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richb2004v2 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Maybe she saw a ghost in your house. Or maybe a monk told her of trouble to come concerning work and a ferang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evanson Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Maybe she saw a ghost in your house. Or maybe a monk told her of trouble to come concerning work and a ferang. Or maybe she just got bored and wanted to move on. A Thai trait. Even the Thais prefer Burmese/Laos employees because they are far less likely to 'job hop'. Seen it all the time here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aneliane Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) Is she live in? 7:30AM - 7:00PM is pretty long hours if she's not living in? (63 hours a week including the half day on saturday) Yes 12 hours a day is a lot, usually 10h a day and 5 on sat = 55 not 63h I know someone available from August if you like Edited July 9, 2011 by aneliane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaroni man Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Is she live in? 7:30AM - 7:00PM is pretty long hours if she's not living in? (63 hours a week including the half day on saturday) Yes 12 hours a day is a lot, usually 10h a day and 5 on sat = 55 not 63h I know someone available from August if you like without child care, only pay 9,000 pay monthly and give a bonus if you are happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evanson Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Hong Kong and Singapore are the wealthiest countries in SE Asia. And this article http://tinyurl.com/5sthmsg shows that which I have learned. The wealthiest are the meanest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Probably nothing - she earned the money she wanted, you paid her too well perhaps, and she's left. This seems a national trait here - can't get people to work over-time (paid) because they have earned the money they want/need and that is that. Probably better off getting a younger maid and paying her less, but fairly (bear in mind most unskilled Thais earn around 5k/mo - so 13.5k+ is a good wage). Keep em mean, keep em keen. The other way is to work a week in hand - if they leave without notice, they lose the week in hand. You are right, because this has happened to us a few times. Many of these women have families already and have debts to pay, although they are not upfront with their situation and give the impression that they are looking for long term employment. They only want to earn enough money to pay off a debt, then they`re gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aneliane Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 who ever said that a burmese maid will work for 3 k a month must have a studio ,im guessing the OP is talking about at least a town house 2-3-4 bedroms or a large condo if this is true please find me one ill pay you the extra 7k a monthfrom my 10k budget for the duration of thier employment with me thai salerys are about 10-15 a month .you get what you pay for if you want a english speaker the price goes up ,if you want her to cook western food the price is higher Drive to Mae Sot refugee camp, ask NGO to find maid for you. If none in camp, one will cross river at the camp. White person not stopped by police on way back so new maid papers not checked. If stopped just pay bribe 2k-3k police happy. Good idea to take someone else maid to speak for you. Very easy. 3k not much in Thailand but big wage in Burma (she send money back to family) Maid want 1 day off a month, but work 24/7 Life in you home better than life in Burma! Human exploitation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlafStapleton Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Human exploitation If she have better life with you than alone, how are you exploit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerryk Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Easy answer. Get two maids and pay them each 6 or 7,000. Thais not happy working alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fritter1970 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Is your husband's name Arnold Schwarzenegger? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aneliane Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Human exploitation If she have better life with you than alone, how are you exploit? The fact that the political situation in Burma is oppressing the population and reduce them to harsh poverty does not gives you the right to take advantage of it and not give her fair work conditions, comparable to what people get here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fritter1970 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 who ever said that a burmese maid will work for 3 k a month must have a studio ,im guessing the OP is talking about at least a town house 2-3-4 bedroms or a large condo if this is true please find me one ill pay you the extra 7k a monthfrom my 10k budget for the duration of thier employment with me thai salerys are about 10-15 a month .you get what you pay for if you want a english speaker the price goes up ,if you want her to cook western food the price is higher Drive to Mae Sot refugee camp, ask NGO to find maid for you. If none in camp, one will cross river at the camp. White person not stopped by police on way back so new maid papers not checked. If stopped just pay bribe 2k-3k police happy. Good idea to take someone else maid to speak for you. Very easy. 3k not much in Thailand but big wage in Burma (she send money back to family) Maid want 1 day off a month, but work 24/7 Life in you home better than life in Burma! Low Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlafStapleton Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) Human exploitation If she have better life with you than alone, how are you exploit? The fact that the political situation in Burma is oppressing the population and reduce them to harsh poverty does not gives you the right to take advantage of it and not give her fair work conditions, comparable to what people get here... Thai bar girl in CM earn 4k plus 'tips' have to pay for own food and accom. (Some bar force girl to live 10 in room, not allow out longer 10 min unless bar fine pay) Burma maid on 3k all found has better deal IMHO. Edited July 9, 2011 by OlafStapleton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveLynch Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 i have to agree with the above post about hiring 2 maids on a lower salery be it 6k or 7k a month .a lot of house cleaners are doing this they work 20 to 30 hrs a week halk the work and work 2- 3 jobs as a team ,might be the way to go Olaf you might try googling the word exploitation .......you might be suprised what you find i think all workers be them maids or toilets cleaners deserve a fair wage not judged by thier Nationatly but by the work effort they put in ......oh and before anybody jumps in how many westerners in Thailand are working with out permits too that saids this is slightly ironic written by a man who hasnt paid Taxes his whole life .he wrote this "Now kings will rule and the poor will toil And tear their hands as they tear the soil But a day will come in this dawning age When an honest man sees an honest wage" Not if Olaf was ruler i fear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aneliane Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Human exploitation If she have better life with you than alone, how are you exploit? The fact that the political situation in Burma is oppressing the population and reduce them to harsh poverty does not gives you the right to take advantage of it and not give her fair work conditions, comparable to what people get here... Thai bar girl in CM earn 4k plus 'tips' have to pay for own food and accom. (Some bar force girl to live 10 in room, not allow out longer 10 min unless bar fine pay) Burma maid on 3k all found has better deal IMHO. Well obviously you got confused, because here, we are talking about Bangkok's rates (13 000), and if she brings a maid from Burma to Bangkok, the maid would have to live in Bkk so pay Bkk's prices and therefore get a Bkk's salary, otherwise it's just not possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurnell Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I have had Thai, Laos, Burmese and Cambodia maid/nannies that have lasted between 4hrs and 3 years and have left for a variety of reasons or for no reason. Salaries have ranged from 5,000 - 12,000. Not one of them has ever stolen anything, though i do suspect one of them of having nicked my vodka. One of them tried very hard to get me to shag her, but I declined, after which she snubbed me for weeks. Am I missing something here? Am I expected to shag them and give them a bonus? Is that the Thai way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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