When You Marry A Thai Man

[mike123ca]

We all know when a foreign man marries a Thai women

it will be expected that he is expected to make contributions

to her family.

I was wondering if western women married to a Thai feel the same

expectations of having to provide financial assistance to her husband's family?

[Tecumseh]

Nah...the Thai guy will buy her a house with a maid and a pick up truck, have her dripping in gold, bring all her relatives over (first class) for the wedding.

[Jebhead]

If a western woman marries a Thai man the chances are high that he has wealth, your run of the mill Thai man with normal low paying job has nothing to offer nor has the access or skills to socialize with western woman.

JH

Edited July 13, 2011 by metisdead
Font reset, please use default forum font when posting.

[janverbeem]

If a western woman marries a Thai man the chances are high that he has wealth, your run of the mill Thai man with normal low paying job has nothing to offer nor has the access or skills to socialize with western woman.

JH

Do you mean Western woman don't visit bars?

[Thongkorn]

Probly give you a kid , then get you working in a bar for his Thai whisky,

[Ijustwannateach]

To offer an alternative angle on this:

Thais who lack international experience often are not very educated in the ways of foreign countries and foreigners (same pretty much as our families and friends back home - I got tired of explaining I don't live in 'Taiwan'.) There are a number of myths about foreigners and what to expect from us which are pretty common currency as a result of media images, stereotyping, and unfortunately also the behaviour of a number of us foreigners here.

What MOST Of these stereotypes underline is that MOST of us are quite wealthy and 'generous'. I am pleased to report that in at least one or two recent Thai comedies, some foreigners were portrayed as poor and unable to go home, which is more or less the case in reality as well. And of course there are all sorts in between.

If you were a wealthier member of a real Thai community, you would have some obligations- feudal as they may be- to support your relatives, employees and their families, and other locals who had a claim on presence in the area. No matter what kind of rural, less-than-middle-class Thai you engage with, there will be some of this feeling.

I think what most often happens in dating REAL Thais- men or women- from less-than-middle-class backgrounds- is that poor communication screws things up. The foreigner doesn't give an accurate enough picture of his potentially not-infinite wealth in a suitably indirect way. By this, I don't mean that you let your partner examine your bank books and tax records. I mean that when you feel that your financial boundaries are being stepped on, you react tactfully in a way your partner recognises. Maybe the first time he/she asks you to take all 10 of the local family out to a Japanese restaurant, you agree on the basis of 'getting to know them', but after the fact you make it look as though the cost was a worry and you suggest next time 'just the two of us somewhere romantic.' Similarly, it might help to include those important people on your own initiative once in a while by suggesting you all go to such-and-such a place. It's really only good manners, and if you were dating in an English speaking country socialising with relatives and friends would also be expected.

These things send a signal (to a socially functional person) that you're willing to play ball on reasonable terms but there are limits and it would be uncomfortable- i.e., risking confrontation, which is the number one social boo-boo- to push those limits too far. At this point if the Thai partner is still pushing or doesn't seem to notice, then yes, they're probably mercenary, greedy, dysfunctional, etc. But if they're genuine, setting those boundaries clearly should set a good tone for that side of the give-and-take, and talking about the issue should be less risky for both partners.

At least, these are things that have worked for me, in cases where I was already pretty sure that the relationship itself was real. If you're dealing with people who were only after you for money from the start, then you have other problems and this advice won't help.....

[chops]

NO woman is going to marry any man of any nationality unless he has money. Certainly no woman would PAY a man!

News to you. Men have to pay because women aren't "into it" like men. Heard the expression "No money no honey"?

[chops]

If a western woman marries a Thai man the chances are high that he has wealth, your run of the mill Thai man with normal low paying job has nothing to offer nor has the access or skills to socialize with western woman.

JH

Told like it is. Which is why you never see such relationships.

But but but! I thought women married for lub!

[MAJIC]

So it seems from the replies here that the OP has his answer,

When both sexes expect the same thing,there is the inevitable Impasse.

Or is it that simple?

[GreenSnapper]

NO woman is going to marry any man of any nationality unless he has money. Certainly no woman would PAY a man!

It happens occasionaly, but it is rare.

Studies have shown that 90% "liberated" Western women marry upwards from their own status.

[blunotes]

The answer is already in your question. You are marrying a Thai guy, that's mean he isn't a took took driver. Just incase it happens, just say "Mai Mee Kah".

In your case, probably not.

[kartman]

I'm sure western women marry Thai men just not often in Thailand.

[scorecard]

I'm sure western women marry Thai men just not often in Thailand.

I know of one Thai man, speaks excellent English, very gregarious personality, quite some charmer, manages a chain of about 10 Thai restaurants across UK and he's good at his job.

He deserted his Thai wife and two children to take up the work offer in UK. Been there about 12 years, has had three English wives, fathered at least two more kids, all the English wives left him pretty quickly because of his 'roaming' activities.

Edited July 14, 2011 by scorecard

[sbk]

Well, seems the men have all the answers about western women here so no real reason to post. You know it all!

That said, some of the comments on this thread are really quite demeaning of women so I think a reminder of forum rules is necessary before any further demeaning comments are made.

7) Not to post slurs or degrading comments directed towards any group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

and just for good measure:

8) Not to post extremely negative views of Thailand or derogatory comments directed towards all Thais.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?app=forums&module=extras&section=boardrules

[PattayaParent]

^shouldn't it be moved to the Ladies Forum so some of the ill informed posters can get a good bashing from you ladies that are married to Thais?

[PattayaParent]

NO woman is going to marry any man of any nationality unless he has money. Certainly no woman would PAY a man!

News to you. Men have to pay because women aren't "into it" like men. Heard the expression "No money no honey"?

You must look like the bloke in my avatar.

[somtampet]

If a western woman marries a Thai man the chances are high that he has wealth, your run of the mill Thai man with normal low paying job has nothing to offer nor has the access or skills to socialize with western woman.

JH

So u say that no western woman has married a beach boy ???????????

Have u been to Thailand

[maiphedmaiaroi]

NO woman is going to marry any man of any nationality unless he has money. Certainly no woman would PAY a man!

News to you. Men have to pay because women aren't "into it" like men. Heard the expression "No money no honey"?

Really?

My missus works abroad and sends me money each month for taking care of our two young children.

Hate to break it to you but the younger generations are not stuck in your ways. Mind you im not that young. Mid 30s but most of the guys i know who have thai gfs both work. Its mostly 50/50 with them. Its called helping each other. Sharing

[otherstuff1957]

I know two women who are married to Thai men. Both of the couples are bilingual and both of the men have graduate degrees from western Universities.

In both of these cases, the Thai men treat their wives just like western men do.

[MrsMills]

I know two women who are married to Thai men. Both of the couples are bilingual and both of the men have graduate degrees from western Universities.

In both of these cases, the Thai men treat their wives just like western men do.

Like crap ?

[Semper]

^shouldn't it be moved to the Ladies Forum so some of the ill informed posters can get a good bashing from you ladies that are married to Thais?

[Cyliam]

^shouldn't it be moved to the Ladies Forum so some of the ill informed posters can get a good bashing from you ladies that are married to Thais?

I didn't know this was "a men forum"...

I'm a western women and (still) married to a Thai man.

I've lived in Thailand for over nine years so have met many western men who have Thai girlfriends.

The problems they have with their girls are similar to the probs I have with my man.

And yes, I did marry him out of love (not for the money... what money?).

Family comes first? No way! Money still number one! The family is just an excuse for the money.

Phrases like "I want to take care" or "I need your help" is always about money.

The first years were great fun but two years ago my husband became a heavy drinker and a bad liar.

When Thais have problems they start to drink (men and women) instead of solving them and social drinking doesn't

exist in their vocabulary, they drink til their drop.

Some months ago he came home drunk as usual, started to break down the furniture and then lay his hand on me.

I ended up in the hospital and kicked him out (with some help from friends).

Heartbroken, home alone but never a Thai man again!! :jap:

[regine]

This 'issue' is really a 'non-issue' for people who marry within their socio-economic class.

[h90]

At: "We all know when a foreign man marries a Thai women

it will be expected that he is expected to make contributions

to her family."

No only in the usual marriages! Neither I nor any of the farang marriage I know was ever asked for money for the family. Actually my wife always want to support my parents, even they really don't need money.

[doji]

At: "We all know when a foreign man marries a Thai women

it will be expected that he is expected to make contributions

to her family."

It depends on individual family, really. Sometimes the money does also flow in an opposite way.

As in our case, we ALWAYS get things including money from both sides of our family, even tho we tell them often enough that they shouldn't have.

Well the money we kept anyway.

But so called "things"...grrrrrr……how do we say "NO" without hurting their feeling that…it doesn't fit our taste and style, or we just simply don't really need it ?

[robblok]

NO woman is going to marry any man of any nationality unless he has money. Certainly no woman would PAY a man!

News to you. Men have to pay because women aren't "into it" like men. Heard the expression "No money no honey"?

Really?

My missus works abroad and sends me money each month for taking care of our two young children.

Hate to break it to you but the younger generations are not stuck in your ways. Mind you im not that young. Mid 30s but most of the guys i know who have thai gfs both work. Its mostly 50/50 with them. Its called helping each other. Sharing

Same here.. the younger generation that are a bit more educated are not stuck in those ways. I am your age too. I have a TGF that works and pays her share in the house. Seen it with my friends here too. Only the older generation and of course if you want a girl that is normally out of your reach you pay for it. Simple.

[richard_smith237]

"We all know when a foreign man marries a Thai women

it will be expected that he is expected to make contributions

to her family. "

Somewhat of a sweeping generalisation:

How about this correction: 'We all know when a foreign man marries a poor Thai women of questionable intention it will be expected that he is expected to make contributions

to her family.'

I would very much imagine that if a Western woman marries a poorer Thai male of questionable intention very similar requests may be made.

IMO: This topic is more related to demographics than it is the sexes...

[richard_smith237]

NO woman is going to marry any man of any nationality unless he has money. Certainly no woman would PAY a man!

News to you. Men have to pay because women aren't "into it" like men. Heard the expression "No money no honey"?

Really?

My missus works abroad and sends me money each month for taking care of our two young children.

Hate to break it to you but the younger generations are not stuck in your ways. Mind you im not that young. Mid 30s but most of the guys i know who have thai gfs both work. Its mostly 50/50 with them. Its called helping each other. Sharing

Same here.. the younger generation that are a bit more educated are not stuck in those ways. I am your age too. I have a TGF that works and pays her share in the house. Seen it with my friends here too. Only the older generation and of course if you want a girl that is normally out of your reach you pay for it. Simple.

Agree - Similar age, similar situation, friends are all in similar situations also. Mid 30's married to professional ladies of similar ages - No such thing as requests for money.

When both parties are from similar socioeconomic backgrounds and are of a similar age money and motives are never in question (from the male or the female).

Edited July 14, 2011 by richard_smith237

[thaibeachlovers]

I'm sure western women marry Thai men just not often in Thailand.

I know of one Thai man, speaks excellent English, very gregarious personality, quite some charmer, manages a chain of about 10 Thai restaurants across UK and he's good at his job.

He deserted his Thai wife and two children to take up the work offer in UK. Been there about 12 years, has had three English wives, fathered at least two more kids, all the English wives left him pretty quickly because of his 'roaming' activities.

It has always puzzled me as to why any person that marries someone that has deserted their previous spouse/ family to marry them would expect them to be faithful. Perhaps a phsychologist could explain it, but I reckon you'd have to be barking.

[Berkshire]

This is going to be a generalization, but if you think about it, you'll know it to be true in the vast majority of the cases. Simply put, farang women in Thailand have much higher standards for their mates than farang men. Cases in point:

Farang women generally would not date:

Men who cannot communicate fluently in her language

Men who have significantly less money

Men who are much less educated

Men who are much younger

Men who are of a much lower socio-economic class

Men who are in dead-end jobs with no future prospects

In most cases, farang men would date:

Thai women who cannot communicate fluently in his language

Thai women who have significantly less money

Thai women who are much less educated

Thai women who are much younger

Thai women who are of a much lower socio-economic class

Thai women who are in dead-end jobs with no future prospects

The drawback for farang women, of course, is that having "higher standards" means that the pool of eligible men in Thailand is really, really small. And these top-tier, multi-lingual, successful, attractive Thai guys are in high demand amongst the Thai female population as well. So farang women are competing against Thailand's best and brightest. And Thai girls have a home-field advantage. Tough going.