Peaches

A gentlemanly Illinois farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He

knocked on a door and a shapely 40 something lady dressed in a very sheer

negligee answered the door.

He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked; Would you like to

buy some peaches?

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked; Are they as firm

as this?

He nodded his head and said, Yes ma'am, and a little tear ran from his eye.

Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, Are they nice and

pink like this?

The farmer said Yes and another tear came from the other eye.

Then the lady unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, Are they as

fuzzy as this?

He again said, Yes and broke down crying.

The lady asked, Why on earth are you crying? Drying his eyes he replied,

The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my

barn and now I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches.