Confusing First Thailand Trip

[Sparky7]

Hi there everyone, my first post on here so here goes.

Okay I just got home from Phuket and had an amazing time but while over there I met a chick at a bar. We talked did the usual thing had a drink played games and I left with

My friends alone.

Second night I stopped past said "hi" bought her a drink and wished her a good night .

Third night of going out I stopped in to have a chat and she wasn't there, the owner of the bar called her and she ce

Down we went to a disco hung out and we spent the night together the next night exactly the same no money was exchanged even though she works at a bar she refused. Did I just win her over or was there a hidden agender do you think? I know it's a hard question but I just had to ask as I thought there must be more to this? What's everyone's take? Has this happened to you before?

[Boo]

moved to pub. ladies is FOR ladies in thailand not to talk ABOUT ladies.

[manarak]

moved to pub. ladies is FOR ladies in thailand not to talk ABOUT ladies.

hi Boo

I notice this happens quite often, I mean that people misunderstand the name of the Ladies forum.

Even I misplaced a post there once.

Why not rename it into something that's clearer about the intent?

For example "TV Lady Members' forum" or "Female TV members' forum" or "Ladies talk with ladies" or something similar?

[manarak]

To OP:

I assume she is a bargirl.

Freebies do happen.

Sometimes the barladies want to feel free and affirm their freedom by spending the night with someone they like and be able to relax and forget a little about their work and not feel like a prostitute.

If you are nice to them, handsome enough (average western looks will mostly do), if they enjoyed the time spent together and enjoyed the sex and if the chemistry was good, AND IF SHE GOT ENOUGH MONEY FOR THE MONTH ALREADY (maybe because she is sponsored), chances are she will be a freebie.

I would say it happens about 1 time out of ten, frequency obviously varies from one guy to another.

A hidden agenda is possible if she presses you about your home mobile phone and your email address...

Prepare for tales of sick grandmothers and dead buffaloes.

Edited October 27, 2011 by manarak

[Sparky7]

I see, that's makes sence then but that's what I was waiting for with the mobile phone number or email address once I left and nothing eventuated which was why I was a bit like <deleted> cos I wanted to keep in contact with her, I sent her a text from my prepaid sim saying it was nice to meet you blah blah and I got a reply saying hope we meet again, good luck to you, I miss you that's it, unless she knows she won't see me again she dosnt want to get hurt? Who knows, but I'm glad I got to show one girl a good time and just be with her for her not because she wanted money. Just didn't know how common this was. And yes she is a bar girl the first time we met she was working but the times we hung out she had the night off.

[Sparky7]

I see, that's makes sence then but that's what I was waiting for with the mobile phone number or email address once I left and nothing eventuated which was why I was a bit like <deleted> cos I wanted to keep in contact with her, I sent her a text from my prepaid sim saying it was nice to meet you blah blah and I got a reply saying hope we meet again, good luck to you, I miss you that's it, unless she knows she won't see me again she dosnt want to get hurt? Who knows, but I'm glad I got to show one girl a good time and just be with her for her not because she wanted money. Just didn't know how common this was. And yes she is a bar girl the first time we met she was working but the times we hung out she had the night off.

[Semper]

I'm glad I got to show one girl a good time and just be with her for her not because she wanted money

[kerryk]

I see, that's makes sence then but that's what I was waiting for with the mobile phone number or email address once I left and nothing eventuated which was why I was a bit like <deleted> cos I wanted to keep in contact with her, I sent her a text from my prepaid sim saying it was nice to meet you blah blah and I got a reply saying hope we meet again, good luck to you, I miss you that's it, unless she knows she won't see me again she dosnt want to get hurt? Who knows, but I'm glad I got to show one girl a good time and just be with her for her not because she wanted money. Just didn't know how common this was. And yes she is a bar girl the first time we met she was working but the times we hung out she had the night off.

Now is a difficult time for all the people in Thailand because of the floods. Everyone is effected because of families either in Bangkok or relatives up North. Don't expect much communication.

In general Thai women like Thailand and to court a Thai women with the intent of moving her out of Thailand is not a good idea.

If you are planning on living in Thailand there are many Thai women available who have not worked in a bar and in the long term would be a better prospect for marriage.

Nothing wrong with bar girls provided you have the experience to deal with them. Hang around the bars for 20 years or so and you'll get the necessary credentials for a successful relationship, if you can still function after hanging around bars in Thailand for 20 years.

[Sparky7]

I see, that's makes sence then but that's what I was waiting for with the mobile phone number or email address once I left and nothing eventuated which was why I was a bit like <deleted> cos I wanted to keep in contact with her, I sent her a text from my prepaid sim saying it was nice to meet you blah blah and I got a reply saying hope we meet again, good luck to you, I miss you that's it, unless she knows she won't see me again she dosnt want to get hurt? Who knows, but I'm glad I got to show one girl a good time and just be with her for her not because she wanted money. Just didn't know how common this was. And yes she is a bar girl the first time we met she was working but the times we hung out she had the night off.

Now is a difficult time for all the people in Thailand because of the floods. Everyone is effected because of families either in Bangkok or relatives up North. Don't expect much communication.

In general Thai women like Thailand and to court a Thai women with the intent of moving her out of Thailand is not a good idea.

If you are planning on living in Thailand there are many Thai women available who have not worked in a bar and in the long term would be a better prospect for marriage.

Nothing wrong with bar girls provided you have the experience to deal with them. Hang around the bars for 20 years or so and you'll get the necessary credentials for a successful relationship, if you can still function after hanging around bars in Thailand for 20 years.

Thanks kerryk sounds like I got caught up in the same fantasy everyone experiences (well most) the first time they visit this scene. I don't think I'm built for this

[kerryk]

I see, that's makes sence then but that's what I was waiting for with the mobile phone number or email address once I left and nothing eventuated which was why I was a bit like <deleted> cos I wanted to keep in contact with her, I sent her a text from my prepaid sim saying it was nice to meet you blah blah and I got a reply saying hope we meet again, good luck to you, I miss you that's it, unless she knows she won't see me again she dosnt want to get hurt? Who knows, but I'm glad I got to show one girl a good time and just be with her for her not because she wanted money. Just didn't know how common this was. And yes she is a bar girl the first time we met she was working but the times we hung out she had the night off.

Now is a difficult time for all the people in Thailand because of the floods. Everyone is effected because of families either in Bangkok or relatives up North. Don't expect much communication.

In general Thai women like Thailand and to court a Thai women with the intent of moving her out of Thailand is not a good idea.

If you are planning on living in Thailand there are many Thai women available who have not worked in a bar and in the long term would be a better prospect for marriage.

Nothing wrong with bar girls provided you have the experience to deal with them. Hang around the bars for 20 years or so and you'll get the necessary credentials for a successful relationship, if you can still function after hanging around bars in Thailand for 20 years.

Thanks kerryk sounds like I got caught up in the same fantasy everyone experiences (well most) the first time they visit this scene. I don't think I'm built for this

Same thing happened to me in 1968. You get used to it. Most men get over it. But when the <deleted> hits the fan and life looks bleak in the West you will always have an ace in the hole, Thailand. My ex wife and even the judge were wondering why I was smiling as they removed from me almost all my earthly possessions. And two weeks later I was on a plane back to the land that always made me smile.

[Sparky7]

Haha cheers kerryk some solid advice there! Feel much better about the whole situation now!

[ludditeman]

One of my very bad friends has done about 400 girls in the last 2 years, about 25% were free.

I've been with 3, 33% were free. The free one dumped me when her foreign husband returned unexpectedly. She wasn't actually free, someone else was paying the bill.

Edited October 28, 2011 by ludditeman

[Boater]

the hard truth is, most of these girls who work in bars all have sponsers of some sort, and like any human being they can feel attracted to people ( and in there line of work they probably go with lot of people they dont like )

you got lucky, she got lucky, you both had a good time....

[expatdreamer]

One of my very bad friends has done about 400 girls in the last 2 years, about 25% were free.

I've been with 3, 33% were free. The free one dumped me when her foreign husband returned unexpectedly. She wasn't actually free, someone else was paying the bill.

Ludditeman, does your friend not concern himself with catching something or indeed passing something on with those sorts of numbers? OK condoms protect against most things but there is such a thing as herpes which stays with you for life, and can mean popping pills forever. Also, I understand most good thai girls dont want to use a condom, which makes it even easier to pass things around.

BTW 400 girls in 2 years, thats averaging a different girl every second day - holy cow....

[expatdreamer]

Kerryk

Thailand - ace in the hole or ace up your sleeve - I like it, nice analogy.

[kerryk]

One of my very bad friends has done about 400 girls in the last 2 years, about 25% were free.

I've been with 3, 33% were free. The free one dumped me when her foreign husband returned unexpectedly. She wasn't actually free, someone else was paying the bill.

Ludditeman, does your friend not concern himself with catching something or indeed passing something on with those sorts of numbers? OK condoms protect against most things but there is such a thing as herpes which stays with you for life, and can mean popping pills forever. Also, I understand most good thai girls dont want to use a condom, which makes it even easier to pass things around.

BTW 400 girls in 2 years, thats averaging a different girl every second day - holy cow....

Do most men here only cohabit with one woman at a time? I mean, why would you? You can do that at home. It is a cultural thing. Thai people don't like doing things alone. By my calculations he may have only had one night a week out. Probably a conservative fellow. :jap:

[zorro1]

One of my very bad friends has done about 400 girls in the last 2 years, about 25% were free.

I've been with 3, 33% were free. The free one dumped me when her foreign husband returned unexpectedly. She wasn't actually free, someone else was paying the bill.

hmmm did you count them ?

25% is 100 free hookers

To the OP you have limited options with bar girls .All will want a retainer if taken out of the bar and into a relationship , they may not mention it for a few weeks though. They are notoriously difficult to keep at home full time even if paid to do so.

Saying that I do have friends that have married bar girls However they are drop dead UGLY! the bar girls that is

I don't know why this happens , its one of Thailand great mysteries

Edited October 28, 2011 by zorro1

[ludditeman]

One of my very bad friends has done about 400 girls in the last 2 years, about 25% were free.

I've been with 3, 33% were free. The free one dumped me when her foreign husband returned unexpectedly. She wasn't actually free, someone else was paying the bill.

hmmm did you count them ?

25% is 100 free hookers

To the OP you have limited options with bar girls .All will want a retainer if taken out of the bar and into a relationship , they may not mention it for a few weeks though. They are notoriously difficult to keep at home full time even if paid to do so.

Saying that I do have friends that have married bar girls However they are drop dead UGLY! the bar girls that is

I don't know why this happens , its one of Thailand great mysteries

I didn't actually count them, and his number was only an estimate (in my opinion conservative), as on a good day he could pick up and bed 3, no idea if anyone was a pro or not, never asked and we hardly ever paid bar fines. It was pretty funny really, girls come up to him all the time and say hello, he turns to me and says "did I do her". Hardly ever with condoms, and no disease so far.

[kerryk]

One of my very bad friends has done about 400 girls in the last 2 years, about 25% were free.

I've been with 3, 33% were free. The free one dumped me when her foreign husband returned unexpectedly. She wasn't actually free, someone else was paying the bill.

hmmm did you count them ?

25% is 100 free hookers

To the OP you have limited options with bar girls .All will want a retainer if taken out of the bar and into a relationship , they may not mention it for a few weeks though. They are notoriously difficult to keep at home full time even if paid to do so.

Saying that I do have friends that have married bar girls However they are drop dead UGLY! the bar girls that is

I don't know why this happens , its one of Thailand great mysteries

There are two times in the life of most bar girls when they are easy to deal with.

One, when they first start, don't really want to be there and are only looking for a man who makes a bit more than a farmer who doesn't drink and beat them nightly.

Two, when they are ready to get out of the business. When they have had enough of the drink, parties and many partners usually after 20 years in the business.

The retainer you are talking about is for suckers. It is a fee split between the bar manager and the lady. If a woman requests it she is not ready to leave and it is the first of many such attempts to fleece the buffalo.

A lot of men are looking for a woman with a tragic flaw. Ugly is only one. It may also be addiction, or sociopath, or mass murderer.

Some men are enlightened and really understand the beauty is only skin deep thing and everyone begins to look the same after seven years.

[zorro1]

One of my very bad friends has done about 400 girls in the last 2 years, about 25% were free.

I've been with 3, 33% were free. The free one dumped me when her foreign husband returned unexpectedly. She wasn't actually free, someone else was paying the bill.

hmmm did you count them ?

25% is 100 free hookers

To the OP you have limited options with bar girls .All will want a retainer if taken out of the bar and into a relationship , they may not mention it for a few weeks though. They are notoriously difficult to keep at home full time even if paid to do so.

Saying that I do have friends that have married bar girls However they are drop dead UGLY! the bar girls that is

I don't know why this happens , its one of Thailand great mysteries

There are two times in the life of most bar girls when they are easy to deal with.

One, when they first start, don't really want to be there and are only looking for a man who makes a bit more than a farmer who doesn't drink and beat them nightly.

Two, when they are ready to get out of the business. When they have had enough of the drink, parties and many partners usually after 20 years in the business.

The retainer you are talking about is for suckers. It is a fee split between the bar manager and the lady. If a woman requests it she is not ready to leave and it is the first of many such attempts to fleece the buffalo.

A lot of men are looking for a woman with a tragic flaw. Ugly is only one. It may also be addiction, or sociopath, or mass murderer.

Some men are enlightened and really understand the beauty is only skin deep thing and everyone begins to look the same after seven years.

Great post Kerry, you put it into perspective especially the 2 times a bar girl wants out. By the way I have a new acquaintance who has a girl full time going on 7 months taken from nana plaza , he is happy to admit. She is drop dead stunning but as you say was only a month into the game.

[kerryk]

It is not only men. A lot of women look for a man with a tragic flaw. It may be age, or physical disability or some other flaw, who knows. I have a lot of flaws and apparently appeal to a wide range of women looking for the less than perfect man.

[expatdreamer]

OK Zorro, drop dead stunner, you say - you've got my interest now.

Can we have some more details, eg

how much does he pay her a month ,

what he has promised her in terms of house/car/etc

age (him & her),

how eager was she to move in

any children on her part

his attractiveness for want of a better term to the opposite sex,

anything else of relevance

purely for research purposes you will understand

[dean999]

If she has a game plan, it's working. You seam smitten. I might be wrong. Just how it looks to me.

Goodluck to you. Hope this is just one of your many experiances in Thailand. :jap:

[zorro1]

OK Zorro, drop dead stunner, you say - you've got my interest now.

Can we have some more details, eg

how much does he pay her a month ,

what he has promised her in terms of house/car/etc

age (him & her),

how eager was she to move in

any children on her part

his attractiveness for want of a better term to the opposite sex,

anything else of relevance

purely for research purposes you will understand

She is 20 enough said there, he is late 40's but looks a lot younger and no kids and I dont know what he has promised her. Her English is poor , further evidence she got out of the game.

Most of her time is spent playing a game on the I phone.

[manarak]

I'm glad I got to show one girl a good time and just be with her for her not because she wanted money

Yes Semper, when a bargirl refuses the money offered to her, it gives an incredible boost to one's feeling of self-worth.

And you can let your mind run through what it could mean when a prostitute doesn't ask for money...

As I said, about 10% become friends, 'giks' or fuc_kbuddies...

@zorro1:

The retainer thing is mostly bullshit and is only required when the girl is working against you or if she is in debt or has other problems (drugs, mafia, etc.)

Edited October 28, 2011 by manarak

[manarak]

One of my very bad friends has done about 400 girls in the last 2 years, about 25% were free.

I've been with 3, 33% were free. The free one dumped me when her foreign husband returned unexpectedly. She wasn't actually free, someone else was paying the bill.

Ludditeman, does your friend not concern himself with catching something or indeed passing something on with those sorts of numbers? OK condoms protect against most things but there is such a thing as herpes which stays with you for life, and can mean popping pills forever. Also, I understand most good thai girls dont want to use a condom, which makes it even easier to pass things around.

BTW 400 girls in 2 years, thats averaging a different girl every second day - holy cow....

Only the viruses are really dangerous.

HIV, HEP C being the most dangerous, a condom protects against both.

Against HEP A and HEP B vaccines exist.

If a condom breaks, there is a risk of 1 in 2500 to catch HIV from an INFECTED woman. If we assume about 5% of thai sexworkers are infected (high estimate, normal population would be about 0.5 to 1%), that puts the risk at 1/50000 per random unprotected contact.

There are nasty bacteria as well, but the risk of lasting health damage is not very high if detected early enough and can be cured with antibiotics. Sometimes requiring a long and inconvenient treatment.

400 girls in 2 years...

Not unrealistic. I will fall short of that number because I tend to repeat certain girls, especially the giks, since this option is by for more economical :-)

Edited October 28, 2011 by manarak

[richard_smith237]

One of my very bad friends has done about 400 girls in the last 2 years, about 25% were free.

I've been with 3, 33% were free. The free one dumped me when her foreign husband returned unexpectedly. She wasn't actually free, someone else was paying the bill.

Ludditeman, does your friend not concern himself with catching something or indeed passing something on with those sorts of numbers? OK condoms protect against most things but there is such a thing as herpes which stays with you for life, and can mean popping pills forever. Also, I understand most good thai girls dont want to use a condom, which makes it even easier to pass things around.

BTW 400 girls in 2 years, thats averaging a different girl every second day - holy cow....

Only the viruses are really dangerous.

HIV, HEP C being the most dangerous, a condom protects against both.

Against HEP A and HEP B vaccines exist.

If a condom breaks, there is a risk of 1 in 2500 to catch HIV from an INFECTED woman. If we assume about 5% of thai sexworkers are infected (high estimate, normal population would be about 0.5 to 1%), that puts the risk at 1/50000 per random unprotected contact.

There are nasty bacteria as well, but the risk of lasting health damage is not very high if detected early enough and can be cured with antibiotics. Sometimes requiring a long and inconvenient treatment.

400 girls in 2 years...

Not unrealistic. I will fall short of that number because I tend to repeat certain girls, especially the giks, since this option is by for more economical :-)

They are not good girls. They are simply stupid girls.....

Anyone who thinks these 'good girls' are the cream of the crop have not followed the same rules they would where they come from. Either that or their target audience where they come from is also uneducated and stupid.

I often wonder of the scenario when I hear such comments that good girls do not like guys to wear their wellies when going for a paddle...

Girl: "I don't like the feeling of condoms"

Guy: "Oh, OK then, I'm just so happy to finally meet a good girl. I trust you and will go commando and ignore the fact that you have possibly / probably been shagging around like this for years"

Or...

Girl: "I don't like the feeling of condoms"

Guy: "Oh, Bye !"

Edited October 28, 2011 by richard_smith237

[ludditeman]

They are not good girls. They are simply stupid girls.....

Anyone who thinks these 'good girls' are the cream of the crop have not followed the same rules they would where they come from. Either that or their target audience where they come from is also uneducated and stupid.

I think the Thai attitude is more of

Customers wear condoms, boyfriends don't

So not to do with them being good girl or bad girl but more to do with them considering you customer or boyfriend.

[manarak]

They are not good girls. They are simply stupid girls.....

Anyone who thinks these 'good girls' are the cream of the crop have not followed the same rules they would where they come from. Either that or their target audience where they come from is also uneducated and stupid.

I often wonder of the scenario when I hear such comments that good girls do not like guys to wear their wellies when going for a paddle...

Girl: "I don't like the feeling of condoms"

Guy: "Oh, OK then, I'm just so happy to finally meet a good girl. I trust you and will go commando and ignore the fact that you have possibly / probably been shagging around like this for years"

Or...

Girl: "I don't like the feeling of condoms"

Guy: "Oh, Bye !"

err... I'm not sure I can follow your thinking.

As if the girls were in charge of what the guys do.

What the girl thinks doesn't matter!

Condom is up to the guy, not up to the girl.

[outofoz]

Only the viruses are really dangerous.

HIV, HEP C being the most dangerous, a condom protects against both.

Against HEP A and HEP B vaccines exist.

If a condom breaks, there is a risk of 1 in 2500 to catch HIV from an INFECTED woman. If we assume about 5% of thai sexworkers are infected (high estimate, normal population would be about 0.5 to 1%), that puts the risk at 1/50000 per random unprotected contact.

There are nasty bacteria as well, but the risk of lasting health damage is not very high if detected early enough and can be cured with antibiotics. Sometimes requiring a long and inconvenient treatment.

400 girls in 2 years...

Not unrealistic. I will fall short of that number because I tend to repeat certain girls, especially the giks, since this option is by for more economical :-)

You quote the risk at 1/50,000 if a condom breaks. that assumes you wear a condom, it breaks, and u have minimal fluid contact.

If you don't wear a condom at all your exposure time is increased, so the risk is increased.

I know a few guys who don't use condoms. They all say they never get anything from it and quote high numbers of BGs they have barfined....that is until they get really pissed and admit to some STD or other... if the bloke gets HIV yuo think he will be advertising that fact, to anyone???