How come in Thailand foreigners and Thais rarely mix? Unless they are dating each other, TH and FR don’t seem to befriend each other at all, even those who speak good English. Is it because Thais generally don’t like foreigners? Or foreigners generally do not like Thais? Or they don't like each other?

I can´t tell is not my experience...

I have some thai girl friends...and the last time I was there most of my friends were thai...

So I have not problem (so far) to make friends with local people...

The truth is that sometimes I talk so much and I ask so many questions...that is not possible for them to get rid of me...

I had loads of thai freinds before meeting my husband & never dated or had any kind of non platonic relationship with any of the thai guys I am friends with so can't agree with your post, I'm afraid.

Thai people tend not to not make close friends easily, the truly close friends are the ones they have been friends with for years. Many of the Thai people I know feel very uncomfortable with the casual manner and easy friendships of most farang. I think anyone who thinks of having a good Thai friend needs to keep that in mind.

Thai people tend not to not make close friends easily, the truly close friends are the ones they have been friends with for years. Many of the Thai people I know feel very uncomfortable with the casual manner and easy friendships of most farang. I think anyone who thinks of having a good Thai friend needs to keep that in mind.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Totally agreed with you on this, SBK

Golf

Thai people tend not to not make close friends easily, the truly close friends are the ones they have been friends with for years. Many of the Thai people I know feel very uncomfortable with the casual manner and easy friendships of most farang. I think anyone who thinks of having a good Thai friend needs to keep that in mind.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don´t know if close friends or not... good or bad...

At the moment just friends...

Edited November 21, 200520 yr by Glauka

When I was living in Thailand most of my friends were Thai. Some of them I considered close friends.

But perhaps Thais and falangs don't mix that often as friends because they have dissimilar interests dispite being fluent in each others language.

Thai people tend not to not make close friends easily, the truly close friends are the ones they have been friends with for years. Many of the Thai people I know feel very uncomfortable with the casual manner and easy friendships of most farang. I think anyone who thinks of having a good Thai friend needs to keep that in mind.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Totally agreed with you on this, SBK

Golf

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I must say this is my experience as well. Takes time, but it can be worth it.

I've never made any Thai friends since living here, except for the friends of my wife's--but I'm not close to them (most are gay men).

I think Thais are cautious when it comes to meeting new people. I was given a good example of this when I met another foreigner for the first time. We joked and laughed with eachother like we were lifelong friends. My wife asked "You've known him for a long time?" "No, just met him tonight!" She was surprised!

How come in Thailand foreigners and Thais rarely mix?

Because they are worlds apart.

I've never made any Thai friends since living here, except for the friends of my wife's--but I'm not close to them (most are gay men).

I think Thais are cautious when it comes to meeting new people. I was given a good example of this when I met another foreigner for the first time. We joked and laughed with eachother like we were lifelong friends. My wife asked "You've known him for a long time?" "No, just met him tonight!" She was surprised!

This is a very good example. From a Thai perspective, it will often look like Western friendships are 'insincere' (quoting a Thai I once discussed this with), because they are more fluid and not as dependent on constant reaffirmation. Thais generally take a very long time before opening their heart to anyone - most everyday relations are kept on a superficial level only - but when they do, you are also expected to keep the trust and never fail them, to a higher degree than what I am used to from back home anyway.

People who travel of all nationalities are generally more open to new people than those who stay at home...

I don't think the problem is about liking or hating each other. The main obstacle in my opinion is a cultural misunderstanding. These are some observations. The Thais (and Asians in general) tend to be modest and humble in their verbal and body language communications. As an example, when you walk down the street, you must have noticed that the Thais tend to look down when walking, and try to make way as you are coming towards them. On the other hand, westerners in general take an upward body posture and walk in a determined and straight fashion. Also in conversations, Thais speak softly with minimum eye contact, which is obviously the opposite for westerners. There is nothing wrong in both cultures; however, it makes it very difficult to make a first contact in either ways.

I know from my personal experience that the Thais (especially the younger generations) are really curious about westerners, and willing to make friendship with them. But because of the above westerners appear to them as arrogant and looking down at them. This is of course not true in general, but this is how it looks like from their perspective.

Since we are guests in this country, I suggest to take the above differences into consideration, and adopt a more 'approachable' attitude if we really want to make new friends in here. Just smile back and you wouldn't believe how many doors this will open for you!

MHO.

G

Some really informative posts here about Thai ways of communicating.

I have initiated a relationship with a Thai woman and spent 2 days with her family in her village. Throughout this time no one made any serious attempt to talk with me. People would be nice and wai me and say a few kind words. Sometimes, someone would speak to me in Thai at length but no one would bother translating it. At the time I found it funny as in my country everyone would do their best to ask a visitor interested questions, even if they would struggle with the language. They never asked me anything in the village. My attempts at initiating some form of communication also fell on stony ground. Reading these posts makes it clear that it is going to take time to make any kind of communication with Thais.

It is a cultural difference I guess. We westerners have developed an inquisitive and adventurous culture based on short term relationships. Many Thais are still brought up to live within a hierarchical, authoritarian based on long term static relationships.

Some really informative posts here about Thai ways of communicating.

I have initiated a relationship with a Thai woman and spent 2 days with her family in her village. Throughout this time no one made any serious attempt to talk with me. People would be nice and wai me and say a few kind words. Sometimes, someone would speak to me in Thai at length but no one would bother translating it. At the time I found it funny as in my country everyone would do their best to ask a visitor interested questions, even if they would struggle with the language. They never asked me anything in the village. My attempts at initiating some form of communication also fell on stony ground. Reading these posts makes it clear that it is going to take time to make any kind of communication with Thais.

It is a cultural difference I guess. We westerners have developed an inquisitive and adventurous culture based on short term relationships. Many Thais are still brought up to live within a hierarchical, authoritarian based on long term static relationships. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

not at all, they are shy

Some really informative posts here about Thai ways of communicating.

I have initiated a relationship with a Thai woman and spent 2 days with her family in her village. Throughout this time no one made any serious attempt to talk with me. People would be nice and wai me and say a few kind words. Sometimes, someone would speak to me in Thai at length but no one would bother translating it. At the time I found it funny as in my country everyone would do their best to ask a visitor interested questions, even if they would struggle with the language. They never asked me anything in the village. My attempts at initiating some form of communication also fell on stony ground. Reading these posts makes it clear that it is going to take time to make any kind of communication with Thais.

It is a cultural difference I guess. We westerners have developed an inquisitive and adventurous culture based on short term relationships. Many Thais are still brought up to live within a hierarchical, authoritarian based on long term static relationships. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

not at all, they are shy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agree. They were probably shy. But also I think they were worried of saying or wrongly translating something that might offend you and consequently loose face, which is a very big deal here.

From my experience, by making some small and kind gestures, such playing with their children, or trying to help them with their manual work, will greatly reduce that barrier. And of course if you can speak their language, even few words, they will really appreciate it, and will talk to you more.

MHO.

G

Edited November 27, 200520 yr by Gulliver_in_LOS

My wife doesn´t let me out alone with my Thai friends.She does in Germany with my very good friend from Laos. In Thailand I´m only allowed to play net football with the guys, a-boys-night out is a definatly no-no!So we meet regulary at their or my house.

By the way, what does LOS stand for?

By the way, what does LOS stand for?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Land Of Smiles ...