An Amusing Email From A Samui Client

[Boater]

there is one born every minute ,,,,,

Mr. xxxxxxxxxxxx,

I like what you say to me about samui . I know you say for real and is obvious you are expert on samui

I think you wrong about all bargirls are for take all my money !!!!.

I have often go Lamai and Green Mango etc. This is about 6pm-7pm so because is early I know they not drunk. I have many girl call me handsome and I think that must be true, but I am too shy to acknowledge this.

I think because I dress nice in top brand Armani T-shirt, nice shorts with crease on front (and back and sides sometimes) and have good quality flippy-floppy I always have many beautiful girls like come talk to me as soon as I sit down. (I think they know good man when they see one).

I like talk to them about home, their aspirations for the future, family life in quaint old village, world politics and micro-economics. They are ALWAYS interested, I not joking. These girls understand intelligence. (There was one time when a girl close her eyes and slide off bar-stool but when she get up from floor she explain she sick.......she get better fast though after I buy Vodka)

I know many girl like dancing here, I think is culture thing they dance with pole...............maybe some ancient rite from village stick I think.

Often I wonder about small clothes but they explain is very hot here and they not want have sweat on body so they always smell good. I understand this. I not stupid.

I do not like to boast but often I take a girl home after only talking for maybe 20 minutes. (I have secret conversation that make them interest in me.....but I cannot say what it is because then you know how to do)

I have NEVER had pay for have sex. They want to do because I handsome and have secret conversation. ( I tell them they beautiful and they always giggle and say thank you.......no man ever say before. ) See? Is easy !

I always offer to give money for taxi in morning. (Its polite). I think many of the girls I meet must come from same village far away down the south of Samui because taxi money is near always 1000 baht. But is no problem.

I like Samui very much. I think soon I will marry a girl here and take good care her. (Often I naughty and have many girls but I will never say to girl I like.............it is my secret.

I think what many tourist here forget is that Samui have many historical buildings. (That means old). Last night I saw place called "Dream Girls". It has been here a very long time and many people go inside to look.

I think some expats say Samui have Sexy Massage Parlour ? Wow. I here 5 week now and I never know. See? Learning something new Samui every day.

is exciting.

[Maipenrai007]

Are you for real?

Micro Economics - The Buffalo is dead I need money, Pappa has had a motorbike accident etc......

Sexy man with crease in his shorts!!! Sounds like Gary Glitter to me!!

He is intelligent and the girls are smart, he is right there about 1 thing!

[Boater]

Are you for real?

Micro Economics - The Buffalo is dead I need money, Pappa has had a motorbike accident etc......

Sexy man with crease in his shorts!!! Sounds like Gary Glitter to me!!

He is intelligent and the girls are smart, he is right there about 1 thing!

you havent met him !!! , the guy has no hope here

[joe84330]

obvious troll is obvious.

[Maipenrai007]

Are you for real?

Micro Economics - The Buffalo is dead I need money, Pappa has had a motorbike accident etc......

Sexy man with crease in his shorts!!! Sounds like Gary Glitter to me!!

He is intelligent and the girls are smart, he is right there about 1 thing!

you havent met him !!! , the guy has no hope here

What sort of drugs is the guy on?

[Boater]

Are you for real?

Micro Economics - The Buffalo is dead I need money, Pappa has had a motorbike accident etc......

Sexy man with crease in his shorts!!! Sounds like Gary Glitter to me!!

He is intelligent and the girls are smart, he is right there about 1 thing!

you havent met him !!! , the guy has no hope here

What sort of drugs is the guy on?

probably 5ft7, nice bust , firm arse and a good skin complection ..... but normally known as a Thai Girl, i would say 90% of men here are addicted !

no known cure !

Edited November 23, 2011 by Boater

[Rooo]

Boater isn't that the Email you sent me 10 years ago? I am really glad your English is much better now.

[Tropicalevo]

Boater isn't that the Email you sent me 10 years ago? I am really glad your English is much better now.

[BigC]

Are you for real?

Micro Economics - The Buffalo is dead I need money, Pappa has had a motorbike accident etc......

Sexy man with crease in his shorts!!! Sounds like Gary Glitter to me!!

He is intelligent and the girls are smart, he is right there about 1 thing!

you havent met him !!! , the guy has no hope here

i must admit for a moment i thought that samui was a place where when the ladies called me handsome that it was true and that i missed the part after being here for 10 years that dancing round a poll is a culutre and every villlage has one.

then i give my self a slap round the face and said to myself bigC u <deleted>. of coaurse it is true and i am a sexy man. just taxis cost me a bit more in the morning.

maybe i should ask my ladies to take a cheaper taxi for just 1000 baht.

i think i shall marry 1 of then and buy them a big house and buy there family out of jail and buy them so many buffalow that it does not matter if one gets sick because i shall just buy her a new 1.

i am happy to hear this story because i used to doubt that i was handsome and the taxi money was really just money for something else that took place in the bed room. now i know that the girls really love me. nearly all of them and they love my big gold chain.

i am a super star. take me to the clouds

[sbk]

Hope the guy gave his permission to have his email posted for all and sundry to see. Bit invasive of one's privacy there don't you think?

[NHJ]

Hope the guy gave his permission to have his email posted for all and sundry to see. Bit invasive of one's privacy there don't you think?

no name given and with such an email you can be sure he'll never come to complain

[BigC]

Hope the guy gave his permission to have his email posted for all and sundry to see. Bit invasive of one's privacy there don't you think?

the name was not printed whats the point if getting picky about that. the story was amuzing the email could have been written by anyone and the e-mail was not stolen it was written to the poster.

it might even be fake but who cares???

[joe84330]

Hope the guy gave his permission to have his email posted for all and sundry to see. Bit invasive of one's privacy there don't you think?

no name given and with such an email you can be sure he'll never come to complain

oh but it would be sooooooooooo much more fun if he did

[Rooo]

Ok that really belongs in the Pub section & that is where it's heading.

[loveulongtime]

Has to written by a bargirl - surely. Either that or a complete spastic!

[josephinebloggs]

Clearly a wind up Email.

[Patsycat]

Where can i get good quality flippy floppy?

[SweRob]

Its Borat, no doubt..

[onionluke]

The language used is remarkable in its similarity to Gravionish .

[Maipenrai007]

The language used is remarkable in its similarity to Gravionish .

Yeah sounds like Borat.

Last night I think I saw him, he have the crease on the front am the back of his sorts last night.

Armani, suit jacket and super flip floppy,

[brownco]

its funny well written

[StreetCowboy]

Where can i get good quality flippy floppy?

Parliament

[Maipenrai007]

Where can i get good quality flippy floppy?

Parliament

The Floods!

[BigC]

And after all these years i was wrong the woman just want taxi money and it is the polite thing to do so many i am handsome. " briliiaaaaaant!!!"

just interested if this man has loads of money i know a lady that likes to listen to secret thing. maybe they should hook up er maybe not or hook up er manybe yes.

or maybe we shall give him her number an we can hoook er up with her