German Jokes

[cdnvic]

Q: What's the difference between a German and a shopping trolley?

A: A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?

Germans like to march in the shade.

After much discussion as to where the capital of the new Germany should be -- Bonn or Berlin -- a compromise was struck: Paris.

Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant? The food is great, but an hour later, you're hungry for power.

Q: Have you heard about the new German microwave ?

A: It's got ten seats inside.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?

A: A Beaner-Schnitzel

"Two Martinis, bitte."

"Dry?"

"Nein, I said TWO!"

Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?

So they won't have to go around being nice while they fix them.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Gestapo

Gestapo who?

Ve Vill ask ze Questions!

[johnnyk]

For Canadians, a Toronto joke:

Q: How many Hogtowners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to turn the bulb, the other to see if the whole world is watching.

Polish variation:

Q: How many Polaks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Three. One to hold the bulb, the other two to turn him.

[Insight]

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Gestapo

Gestapo who?

Ve Vill ask ze Questions!

Quality!

[Axel]

Finally, the Germans had a chance to win a war and they

refused to go to Baghdad.

[cdnvic]

Thats always been the problem with the German teams. They have a great first half, but always wind up choking in the last quarter.

cv

[johnnyk]

Thats always been the problem with the German teams. They have a great first half, but always wind up choking in the last quarter. 

cv

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And the coach committed suicide last time, too.