Are You A Winner Or A Loser

[poanoi]

We won the day we left the freezing cold hell.

[JurgenG]

I started in Asia around 15 years ago with nothing but a good education. Now I've have a nice gf for the past 15 years, a good position in a good company, always travel business, eat in fancy restaurants, drive a big car and own a couple of properties in Thailand, Hong Kong and back home

The only problem is it's not what I wanted to do.

I wanted to be a farmer. As a kid I used to spend all my holidays in my grand father farm and my dream was to raise horses. A while ago we bought with my gf a nice piece of land in Isaan. In the beginning it was just a big field. We cleaned it, build a house, dig ponds ... We had two employees and everything was going fine until the employees start complaining to the MiL that I was not reasonable, that I was asking too much ... Based on my experience, if they just work 3 days a week or half day everyday, there was no problem to do what I asked. But the MiL was not very happy either, she is the family head and didn't appreciate my leadership in the "farm". So they start complaining to my gf who then asked me to compromise, telling meThailand is not China, I cannot treat people here the same way than in China, blah blah blah .... But I'm the kind of guy, it's my way or the highway. So at the end I got fed up, I gave up and took the highway back to Bangkok

So I guess, according to the OP criteria, I'm a total failure ....

The dream is still alive. When I retire I will have my farm, but now it will be back home.

Edited December 10, 2011 by JurgenG

[geriatrickid]

1. what -- if anything -- have you achieved?

I brought some happiness into the lives and relieved the pain of a few people and critters. Not as impressive as the hotties at the malaria center in Chiang Mai or the heros of Soidog and SCAD, but at least it was a nudge in a positive direction. I also succeeded in convincing and helping some people to pursue their dreams to continue their university education thereby improving their lives and contributing to society as a whole.

2. what new skills -- if any -- have you learned, developed, honed, and used to your advantage?

I learnt how to drink whiskey without getting drunk and how to restrain myself so that I can control the urge to beat the crap out of idiots that are unable to carry out simple tasks. The desire to go and slice off someone's mole or wart or cyst is in check. I understand the need to dress neatly and appropriately in public. (No more old tshirts when dashing down to the Big One for something.) More importantly, I have learnt that one cannot trust anyone associated with the beer bar trade and that no matter how sad the tale of woe may be, not to get drawn into lives of those people, I have also mastered the art of ignoring beggers, street urchins, tuk tuk drivers and tailor touts. I have not managed to learn discretion as I still stare at girls with big boobs and am told by my friends to not gawk (or worse get a pinch if I do it in the presence of the broomstick rider.)

3. what -- if anything -- have you accomplished? What makes you stand out from the crowd?

I doubt I stand out, but I am at least able to maintain my dignity by conducting myself in an honourable and honest manner, just like many other foreigners do. I do not litter, do hold doors open for others and do say please and thank you. Not much, but those acts of politeness help to make others days a little better.

[expatdreamer]

Loser = work in the West till you are 67 and entitled to an old age pension and free bus pass. Drop dead within a year of retiring or if luckier play lawn bowls for a few years before moving into an old age home due to your body being worn out from years of working

Winner = retire in your early fifties and live the life of riley in Thailand, where your greatest achievement need only be having to decide what to eat for lunch every day and which bar to have a drink that night

Obviously trying for the latter.

[naboo]

The only losers are those who feel the need to judge others' on their successes and failures.

Especially those who bring it down to 3 questions.

I'm happy. But in some miserable peoples' eyes, I'm still a loser.

[tropo]

Read this:

decided that winning is not only about tangible things (like material wealth) but it can also be something like a lack of fear of failure and an understanding that the ride is just as important as the destination.

Achievers know what they've achieved. Coming to terms with a fear of failure is not an achievement.

Your outlook seems very limited. Overcoming fear of failure is the key to just about every achievement.

Regarding ThailandMan's comment about the ride being just as important as the destination. I'd go a lot further and say that only the ride is important.

[mahtin]

I travelled hopefully.

I arrived.

I am still here.

[MRTELLYOUSTRAIGHT]

I have a close friend who is rather rich and moderately famous. He worked in law on Wall Street and whose life has followed what most people would consider textbook success. He's got more money than he knows what to do with, properties; smart as heck; he is extraordinarily good looking (imo) and very healthy -- he climbs mountains and participates in some semi-pro athletic events, and never eats this and that and has never smoked or drank; he's got a loving circle of friends (not a very large circle but a tight one); he's got an astoundingly gorgeous wife who is ten years his junior and who cooks like a professional and who is an artist. And on and on. For much of the duration of our friendship, I admired him primarily for the usual suspects: the money, the girls before he got married and his physique. However, the last lesson he taught me before I left the US before moving over to Thailand was that what really matters to him most are his relationships with people in his life and his health. He said he was happy that he'd been able to convince people he's smart enough to earn their trust so that he could hope to have some positive impact on their lives. He siad he was happy to have money because it allowed him to work on being truly altruistic in his handling of his wealth. Most of all, he was happy to be healthy.

He encouraged me to have goals which get me closer to this kind of real 'enlightenment', if you will. It may sound cliche and obvious, but without our health, we really are nothing. Similarly, without a few good people to share life with, I suspect the vast majority of us would not feel that we were winners no matter the type/amount of currency in our accounts.

I'm sure I've read something like this in an email from Nigeria.

[PattaniMan]

I have a close friend who is rather rich and moderately famous. He worked in law on Wall Street and whose life has followed what most people would consider textbook success. He's got more money than he knows what to do with, properties; smart as heck; he is extraordinarily good looking (imo) and very healthy -- he climbs mountains and participates in some semi-pro athletic events, and never eats this and that and has never smoked or drank; he's got a loving circle of friends (not a very large circle but a tight one); he's got an astoundingly gorgeous wife who is ten years his junior and who cooks like a professional and who is an artist. And on and on. For much of the duration of our friendship, I admired him primarily for the usual suspects: the money, the girls before he got married and his physique.

Is your friend also willing to send me 26 Million US Dollars? If necessary, I'll fly to Nigeria to meet him.

On another note -- grow up and start acting like a man.

[GuestHouse]

I was an athlete in my youth - something that taught me many of life's important lessons.

On the subject of winning it taught me that the only clear winner is the guy who crosses the line first, goes the furthest, goes the highest - Any other definition of a winner is subjective and inevitably gets into debates and/or 'Fixes'.

Of course it wasn't long, perhaps returning from injury or illness that I realised that every competitor first has to overcome his/her own challenges, to win their very own race.

All those old coach and school master adages about taking part, playing fairly, playing a straight bat and being gracious in defeat turned out to be more important than winning.

[bkkjames]

I am good loser but a very poor winner.

[travelmann]

The only thing to mark success is reproduction, that is the reason for all living creatures.

Those who create more children are a greater success than those who create none.

Those who create healthy children are more successful than those who create unhealthy children.

This is the definition of success for any species.

Money and fame doesn't matter unless it leads to greater reproduction.

In an overpopulated world i beg to differ

[xthAi76s]

I have a close friend who is rather rich and moderately famous. He worked in law on Wall Street and whose life has followed what most people would consider textbook success. He's got more money than he knows what to do with, properties; smart as heck; he is extraordinarily good looking (imo) and very healthy -- he climbs mountains and participates in some semi-pro athletic events, and never eats this and that and has never smoked or drank; he's got a loving circle of friends (not a very large circle but a tight one); he's got an astoundingly gorgeous wife who is ten years his junior and who cooks like a professional and who is an artist. And on and on. For much of the duration of our friendship, I admired him primarily for the usual suspects: the money, the girls before he got married and his physique.

Is your friend also willing to send me 26 Million US Dollars? If necessary, I'll fly to Nigeria to meet him.

On another note -- grow up and start acting like a man.

So, no hope then for you to provide any real insight... If you're worried about being vulnerable, I can assure you that I will not treat you as you have treated me and others.

[Naam]

The only thing to mark success is reproduction, that is the reason for all living creatures.

Those who create more children are a greater success than those who create none.

Those who create healthy children are more successful than those who create unhealthy children.

This is the definition of success for any species.

Money and fame doesn't matter unless it leads to greater reproduction.

In an overpopulated world i beg to differ

conclusion: a dirt poor moron who manages to sire "more" children is successful.

LAWD have mercy on me!

[TingTawng]

Loser = work in the West till you are 67 and entitled to an old age pension and free bus pass. Drop dead within a year of retiring or if luckier play lawn bowls for a few years before moving into an old age home due to your body being worn out from years of working

Winner = retire in your early fifties and live the life of riley in Thailand, where your greatest achievement need only be having to decide what to eat for lunch every day and which bar to have a drink that night

Obviously trying for the latter.

Neither lifestyle appeals to me, but that just shows - the labels of "winner" and "loser" are pretty meaningless. If a guy retires in his 50s, lives the life you describe and is happy, I'd happily accept in this exercise of arbitrariness to label him a "winner".

Edited December 11, 2011 by TingTawng

[Dararasmi]

My (Thai) girlfriend is of the mind that all farang who pack it in back home and start a new life in Thailand are losers.

[Livinginexile]

One thing for sure, you'll not find many losers on ThaiVisa, most here are winners, anonymous forums have the strange phenomenon where the vast majority are different to the mainstream.

Most here have never been with a bargirl, yet most of the people I know in real life have, most of the people here are rich, most of the people I know in real life are not, most of the members here claim to have married highly educated and well connected beautiful young Thai women, most of the people I know in real life have not.

What makes ThaiVisa members so different ?

I think most are lying, bit pointless really on an anonymous forum, they are only lying to themselves.

Personally I'm rich, handsome, I've never been to a bar, never paid for sex, and my wife is a highly educated beautiful young Thai woman 25 years my junior who comes from a well connected family.

ditto me

[travelmann]

The only thing to mark success is reproduction, that is the reason for all living creatures.

Those who create more children are a greater success than those who create none.

Those who create healthy children are more successful than those who create unhealthy children.

This is the definition of success for any species.

Money and fame doesn't matter unless it leads to greater reproduction.

In an overpopulated world i beg to differ

conclusion: a dirt poor moron who manages to sire "more" children is successful.

LAWD have mercy on me!

When theres too many of us we all end up fighting to the death making us all morons

Plenty of Uk Council estates full of reproducing morons funded by the govt.

Edited December 11, 2011 by travelmann

[Gary A]

Is money important? No, not really. Self satisfaction and contentment is much more important. The only time money is important is if you don't have any. I'm by no means wealthy but I have enough to live as I choose and a nest egg should any dire emergency come up.

[meatboy]

Is money important? No, not really. Self satisfaction and contentment is much more important. The only time money is important is if you don't have any. I'm by no means wealthy but I have enough to live as I choose and a nest egg should any dire emergency come up.

a BIG + 1

[xthAi76s]

<snip>

On another note -- grow up and start acting like a man.

Btw, your comment made me thing of Russell Peters "Be a Man" skit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJs-77SBXKM

Not sure if you've seen this, but I think it's pretty funny. The "be a man" part occurs around the 2:25 mark.

[mataus101]

I got to fight at Ratchadamnern Stadium, of that i am very proud,I trained with the greatest fighter in Muay thai history, Apidej sit hrun.

I Have made very close friends here, that is a real achievement, true friends are hard to find, Also had the opportunity to help with the training of the Royal Guards.

I am far from rich, but I am comfortable, I have not achieved a great deal of material wealth but I am very happy, thats an achievment far greater then wealth.

Best of all I have created a family, nothing I can do can top that, nothing can better that so I am a winner as I have achieved lifes greatest prize, Children.

[jimbeam1]

One thing for sure, you'll not find many losers on ThaiVisa, most here are winners, anonymous forums have the strange phenomenon where the vast majority are different to the mainstream.

Most here have never been with a bargirl, yet most of the people I know in real life have, most of the people here are rich, most of the people I know in real life are not, most of the members here claim to have married highly educated and well connected beautiful young Thai women, most of the people I know in real life have not.

What makes ThaiVisa members so different ?

I think most are lying, bit pointless really on an anonymous forum, they are only lying to themselves.

Personally I'm rich, handsome, I've never been to a bar, never paid for sex, and my wife is a highly educated beautiful young Thai woman 25 years my junior who comes from a well connected family.

And she love you long time.

jb1

[WarpSpeed]

Personally, I think you're missing the point.

Few in life are genuine 'winners' - how many actually make a positive change for society as a whole?

Obviously a few geniuses achieve something TRULY worthwhile but, having a job does not make anyone a 'winner' in real terms.

I don't doubt though that having joined this forum more than a month ago you have the best 'view' on winners and losers.

Yep F1 spot on, completely missed the point. In fact, the OP's point seems more a troll then any sort of point actually .

I'd disagree on one point though and say that most in life are "winners" but that is relative to what a given persons perception of being a winner is and everyone has a different definition of that. What makes YOU happy ultimately is what determines being a "winner" not anyone else's perception of it.

For myself I never came here to make it my permanent home let alone intention to stay it just worked out that way under my circumstances but is still only temporary.. In spite of that, have still managed to be a "winner" in the amount of time I've resided here just as I do anywhere I go regardless of reasons .

[Old Croc]

I've learn't how to say "ooouuuw".

(still don't know how to spell it )

[MrsMills]

And she love you long time.

jb1

As soon as I became a ThaiVisa member I became irresistible.

[jimbeam1]

And she love you long time.

jb1

As soon as I became a ThaiVisa member I became irresistible.

There we have it.... The answer to becoming a winner.

jb1

[mataus101]

i dont think you should have pointed out she is 25 years your junior, why did she not go for say, someone like you her own age.

[GreenSnapper]

My (Thai) girlfriend is of the mind that all farang who pack it in back home and start a new life in Thailand are losers.

Is Pattani somewhat like Udon Thani?

[hotandhumid]

Young, well-educated, wife and I walked away from more money than most people ever get to make, have a beautiful, young, educated, kind wife, good looking and physically healthy, dropped my concern for material wealth (as evidenced by walking away from a lot of money), do not care for the many distractions that many fall for, learned to not take things personally most of the time, acclimatized, started building relationships with other educated foreigners and Thais here from various places (like school and such), learned to not care much about roaches crawling on my food, learned to be a bit more humble, decided against having any children (huge win, imo), decided that winning is not only about tangible things (like material wealth) but it can also be something like a lack of fear of failure and an understanding that the ride is just as important as the destination.

How about you, OP? Anything inspiring?

So, you are young and well educated.

Your wife is also young. She is beautiful, well-educated, kind, good looking and physically healthy.

Great. Really great.

But what have you actually achieved?

Not sure what you mean as you are calling attention to only a very small portion of my post. Can you clarify?

Give the guy a break, he can't have children. He said 'decided not to' have kids but we all know in truth what that really means don't we