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Are You A Face Queen?

Ijustwannateach

By Ijustwannateach
in Gay People in Thailand

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Ijustwannateach Star Member

Ijustwannateach

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Posted (edited)

I'll admit it, I've a weakness for a pretty face.

I'll be walking behind someone (or exercising at the gym behind them) and be admiring a trim, perfect body. Then suddenly they turn- and oh, what a disappointment (and an embarrassment, if they notice I've been staring- even worse if they're receptive). I just lose interest if they've got, well, a "plain" face. Which is more the pity because a lot of them *are* very fit and most likely they've developed a measure of actual maturity, which the cutesy pretty types are often spared from, as I'm sure many of you know. Plus it shouldn't make much difference in reduced lighting, anyway.

I've assumed (and hoped) that this might be something I can grow out of, but despite a conscious knowledge of this flaw in myself, it doesn't seem to be fading.

Any of you manage to overcome this problem before? How?

"Steven"

Edited by Ijustwannateach
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peter991 Platinum Member

peter991

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Steven: Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder. I certainly don't think that's a flaw in your character. What you see as 'cute' I might see as 'plain.'

I have been to a few online Thai gay magazines (I don't know if I am allowed to mention them or provide links, so I will keep in ChrisP and PB's good books and not do so ...) and some of their cover guys are definitely not what I could call cute.

I assume the magazines (and websites) are aimed at gay farangs.

I guess individual taste is a personal thing, otherwise Thai guys trying to attract farang bf's would all be clones.

Peter

Edited by peter991
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Ijustwannateach Star Member

Ijustwannateach

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Peter,

I guess when I say it is a flaw it is because I think I am drawn to the more conventionally "pretty" looking guys; i.e., I think a survey of a large mixed group would probably more or less agree they were conventionally attractive- which is galling to me, because I have tried in most ways to escape my childhood media programming.

Well, I weaned myself off being attracted to straight guys finally after I got tired of the pain; maybe the same will be true of "pretty" ones!!! :D:o

"Steven"

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Steve2UK Gold Member

Steve2UK

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Beautiful eyes and a great smile get me melting every time. Does that make them cute/pretty? I hope not.

It'd be going too far to say that good looks are irrelevant to me, but an attractive personality shining through scores higher for me than catwalk model features. In the west, stunning good looks often bring stunning arrogance and/or deep-seated insecurity with them. Maybe that has helped wean me off the type?

He does have to be slim though............. and a bit fit. :o

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PeaceBlondie Star Member

PeaceBlondie

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For just looking at beautiful faces, or maybe flirting or a first-night stand, surely the face is an easy way to draw my attention. But my first long term attempt at a pretty face revealed there was nobody inside. Now I'm seeing one of his old friends, who has half the good looks (acne covered by makeup) and a real personality. My long term Thai boyfriend was not at all attractive, and I went for the heart.

Now if I could just find one who's got a pretty face, a sweet smile, certain unmentionable attributes, and an excellent brain....

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ChrisP Silver Member

ChrisP

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I'm also a sucker for the "pretty-boy / pretty-face" type.. (oh, and on the fem side of pretty is just fine too!) :D

They just take my breath away (literally) when I suddenly meet one that fits my criteria.. and I can't help but stare. It's embarassing sometimes.. especially when you walk into a lamp-post at the same time...! :D

My first gay "experience" on coming out in the US was with a model... and yes, he was Sooo hi-maintenance..!

My current Thai bf definitely fits the "pretty-boy" profile too.... although much less trouble to maintain... :o

God, that sounds like I am SO shallow, But honestly I'm not. The heart and mind definitely have to be there for the long-haul... BUT I have to say it does wonders for my ego to have a bf that people comment on...!

ChrisP

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JungleBoy Apprentice Member

JungleBoy

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IJWT,

Pre-statement: I wrote this after Peter991 gave his reply. While writing this, wow, 5 more replies came across. Please keep what I say below to the context of your OP.

Before I address the main part of your message, I would like to address some concerns that I have with some of your statements.

Which is more the pity because a lot of them *are* very fit and most likely they've developed a measure of actual maturity, which the cutesy pretty types are often spared from, …
I find that statement a bit off and would suggest replacing the words 'spared from' to something like the word 'lacking'. IMHO, maturity is not something that someone should be 'spared from'. Also, I don't think that it follows that ‘cutesy pretty types’ are often not mature. Maybe ‘cutesy pretty YOUNG types’ are often seen as immature. No biggie on this, just the ‘spared from’ part made me cringe.
I've assumed (and hoped) that this might be something I can grow out of, but despite a conscious knowledge of this flaw in myself, it doesn't seem to be fading.

IMHB(eliefs): First of all, there is no hope. It either is or it isn't. Hope, like wishes, can lead to unfulfilled expectations and unfulfilled expectations have negative connotations and possibly something more that is undesired. I would like to ask you a question here if you have accepted this flaw? You say you have conscious knowledge, but have you accepted this 'flaw'? (Your answer might assist YOU. Answer not required to me, just for you.)

Any of you manage to overcome this problem before?
No, I have not overcome this problem, but I have worked through it.
How?

By BEING, not by DOING.

I see your message as one of screaming out for answers to the question of not 'How?' but rather 'How can I love you?' The answer to that one is ... by BEING in love with yourself. Not brainy, ego love, but love in the heart of self. To find that answer out (love of self), here is a DOING way to measure that.

WARNING TO ALL: If you are not mentally stable or are on mind altering medication (legal or illegal), DO NOT perform this process. I take no responsibility in the outcome of performing such a process.

While ALONE, get a large mirror and stand in front of it. Look into the eyes (only the eyes) of the person you see in the mirror for at least 3 minutes. Take note of how easy/difficult it is. Take note if you look away. Allow yourself to experience your feelings. Take note of any pushing away or dampening of these feelings. Allow them to come up. Then answer yourself honestly whether you love yourself or not. Note that you will know deep down whether you are telling the truth or not. Listen to this deep down feeling. This process MUST be done while not under the influence of alcohol or drugs, otherwise, it won't be the real you performing this process and will be totally meaningless. This process works depending on the degree of sincerity.

I will ask you this rhetorical question: If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you?

You see, IJWT, I really don’t know if you just meant this topic to be light hearted and just something just to keep Thaivisa Gay forum going, or if it’s really something that you are concerned with, but I will tell you, your message taken in toto, is one screaming out for answers about yourself. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe, it’s just the questions in my own heart that I have seen.

And above all, NONE and I mean NONE of the answers you give to yourself are expected to be given publicly. They are yours and yours alone.

Love of appearance and love of inner self (others inner self) are two totally separate issues and awareness of the differences can lead to clearer choices and decisions that make our lives that much more fulfilling.

Love of self makes it so much easier to love others and to be loved by others.

Love of self is a necessity; love of physical beauty is a luxury. No problem here of someone having both.

Take care my friend,

Jb

PS I see by your later posting that you do in fact want what’s inside. The above is just AN answer to your ‘HOW?’ question.

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PeaceBlondie Star Member

PeaceBlondie

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Okay, about that deal of looking at yourself in the mirror for a long time. Heck, try it naked with a full length mirror, and keep looking for several minutes. Who is that man? Is that what he REALLY looks like?

I didn't do that for decades, until about 1996. It was a revelation. I had purposely avoided looking at myself because....I didn't know why. So I had to ask why, and I concluded that I had a very poor self-image of my exterior image. And I'd aged a lot in 40 years.

However, if you do this every morning, your Thai nickname is "Narcissus."

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Ijustwannateach Star Member

Ijustwannateach

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What an excellent idea... perhaps we can get some idea of how what we mean by "pretty boy" differs- some ground rules, perhaps? Faces, please, with nothing showing below the waist (to ward off the straight trolls who want to complain we are offered more leeway than they are)?

"Steven"

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peter991 Platinum Member

peter991

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Hi there Steven. Actually - the 8 pix should have been on two lines. The last one just 'slipped' to the bottom of my post. I agree with you about cuteness. They all work in the meat-market (we can't use the MB words here) ... so they have to trade on their appearance.

I have a very understanding Thai bf who allows me to LOOK and will point out Thai guys he thinks I might like to LOOK at, but his idea of Thai 'cute' and mine are worlds apart.

It's easy for me to spot the new Thai guy in a bar. They have a 'natural' look about them. That's what I like. Okay - their English is just about nil - but I prefer that to a Thai guy who has visited more countries than I have and who speaks (almost) better English than me.

Peter

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peter991 Platinum Member

peter991

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To get back to Steven's original point. He said he had a weakness for a 'pretty face.' Maybe straight males look at a different part of a female's anatomy - but I know I look at a person's FACE first.

If the FACE is pleasing to my eye, I take in the rest of the body. Proportioned? Is height related to weight? Then when I have taken in the WHOLE physical person, it's time to make EYE contact.

By then, the guy is doing the same with me.

The clincher for me is the SMILE. Come to think of it, that's how I met my present Thai bf. He was with a group of about 20 other guys and he had the most beautiful smile. It was an honest smile too and he won my heart.

Is it just me or has any body else noticed that Thais don't seem to be smiling as much?

Peter

Edited by peter991
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