"Alternative Lifestyle"?

[thaisomchai]

To begin with: being gay isnt a "lifestyle" nor is it an "alternative". (The latter puts being gay on the same level as shopping for shoes. Hmmmm, maybe I will pick this pair or perhaps that!)

"Alternative" to what? A "normal" lifestyle? A straight lifestyle? A socially acceptable lifestyle? A rich and famous lifestyle? A lifestyle acceptable to your parents?

I remember this term being floated many decades ago by straight newspaper editors when the dating columns were opened up to include "men seeking men"and "women seeking women". In this expression they found a way to include gays but at the same time make it clear that this wasnt an acceptable or mainstream activity. Back then they had to avoid the words "homosexual', 'gay' and 'lesbian' to avoid offending those with other lifestyles.

I know gay doctors, gay teachers, gay pilots, celibate gay priests, celibate gay Buddhist monks and nuns and gay prostitutes . .and to lump together these very different ways of living as a a single "lifestyle" because of one common, natural and unremarkable element is to do a major disservice to all.

Truth is, there is no such thing as a "gay lifestyle" or an "alternative lifestyle". Try to define these terms for yourself and see if you can come up with anything that makes sense.

As the saying goes: It is not a lifestyle, it is a life.

[cardholder]

Why would you even concern yourself with such a description, let alone analyse it.

If you are gay you are gay, if you are straight you are straight. If others choose to attach different labels let them get on with it.

Today's "alternative" is tomorrow's normal.

[thaisomchai]

The "others" created this "Alternative lifestyle" forum.

Why are they using the term?

[transam]

Really don't understand your thread. If your gay, your gay. Do what you want with others of your same gay thingy, end of story.

[rodentwarrior]

Really don't understand your thread. If your gay, your gay. Do what you want with others of your same gay thingy, end of story.

Same 'gay thingy' hehehehe

As a gay man, the only thing I do which could be viewed as 'alternative', is visit gay bars. I see an increase in straight females to these bars, I suppose because they want intelligent conversation, good music and friendly guys who certainly don't view them as sexual objects.

Other than that, what is the point of this thread?

[cardholder]

Really don't understand your thread. If your gay, your gay. Do what you want with others of your same gay thingy, end of story.

Same 'gay thingy' hehehehe

As a gay man, the only thing I do which could be viewed as 'alternative', is visit gay bars. I see an increase in straight females to these bars, I suppose because they want intelligent conversation, good music and friendly guys who certainly don't view them as sexual objects.

Other than that, what is the point of this thread?

I would argue that a gay visiting a gay bar is not 'alternative' but totally normal.

I can understand why the ladies feel comfortable there. My second ex-wife had a ripping time with her hen group and a group of gay lads from a local hospital. As you say, they were not viewed as sexual objects and nobody kept hitting on them.

[endure]

I once did a trip with a bunch of Geordie welders who were on board ship to do some repair work for us. We were sitting in the bar one night and the talk got round to gays. One of our deck cadets started slagging gays off. The Geordies really ripped into him. Turns out that they all took their wives and girlfriends to one of Newcastle's gay clubs - they reckoned it was the best Saturday night to be had in toon.

I had a straight mate when I was a teenager that I lost touch with. 5 years later I was surprised to see him coming into the local gay club. We got chatting and I asked why he was there. He said he could have a good night out without getting into fights or any of the usual 'who you looking at' nonsense. If any of the blokes tried to chat him up he just explained that he was straight and that was that. Mind you he was a bit surprised at the ferocity of some of the lesbian scraps

[Ijustwannateach]

OP may be surprised to discover that this subforum also covers other types of sexuality other than 'straight' (so to speak) vanilla male gayness. In general, all non-mainstream adult sexualities and, er, persuasions, preferences, etc. may find a safe harbour here, within Thai law, forum rules, and reason, in that order. Some of those proclivities are more involuntary (being attracted to sex with men), others perhaps less so (wishing to become married with a member of the same sex). To be as 'catholic' (again, so to speak) and welcoming as we can, the forum description includes such terminology. The issue of the forum description has been discussed before (more than once), and you're welcome to discuss it again, but given this explanation, unless there's a truly jaw-dropping reason to be offended at the description, I'm not much interested in changing it again.

[isanbirder]

I've known Thai women go to gay bars for their 'stag' nights.

[Jingthing]

I vote for dropping the phrase -- alternative lifestyle. It is very dated and quite inaccurate way to describe sexual ORIENTATION. I wouldn't call it offensive. I would call it STUPID.

[manarak]

I vote for dropping the phrase -- alternative lifestyle. It is very dated and quite inaccurate way to describe sexual ORIENTATION. I wouldn't call it offensive. I would call it STUPID.

I agree, also because "alternative" suggests a binary (or dichotomial) universe of possibilities, while we all know there is a "third gender" in Thailand...

[isanbirder]

I vote for dropping the phrase -- alternative lifestyle. It is very dated and quite inaccurate way to describe sexual ORIENTATION. I wouldn't call it offensive. I would call it STUPID.

I would never use the phrase, but it doesn't bother me. "Orientation" would be fine, but who is actually going to use it in normal speech... or even casual writing?

[Jingthing]

I wasn't suggesting that the forum description be changed from alternative lifestyle to orientation. I wouldn't use either. My suggestion is

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender

http://www.examiner.com/lgbt-relationships-in-national/hilary-clinton-speaks-for-glbt-human-rights

[nidieunimaitre]

I wasn't suggesting that the forum description be changed from alternative lifestyle to orientation. I wouldn't use either. My suggestion is

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender

http://www.examiner....bt-human-rights

or, as you said on another tread : CLOWNS

[Jingthing]

I wasn't suggesting that the forum description be changed from alternative lifestyle to orientation. I wouldn't use either. My suggestion is

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender

http://www.examiner....bt-human-rights

or, as you said on another tread : CLOWNS

Yes, some people do dress up like clowns. But everyone is a human being deserving the same rights and dignity as everyone else. Anyway, anyone can see what you are up to here (newbie, my arse), looking for a fight. Not playing, sorry. Edited December 23, 2011 by Jingthing

[nidieunimaitre]

I wasn't suggesting that the forum description be changed from alternative lifestyle to orientation. I wouldn't use either. My suggestion is

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender

http://www.examiner....bt-human-rights

or, as you said on another tread : CLOWNS

Yes, some people do dress up like clowns. But everyone is a human being deserving the same rights and dignity as everyone else. Anyway, anyone can see what you are up to here, looking for a fight. Not playing, sorry.

Shure.

That is your opinion.

Clowns - as some call them - deserve dignity ------ so say the ones that call them clowns??????

Have YOU ever been called a name for being gay? Did you like that ? So....

[Jingthing]

I wasn't suggesting that the forum description be changed from alternative lifestyle to orientation. I wouldn't use either. My suggestion is

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender

http://www.examiner....bt-human-rights

or, as you said on another tread : CLOWNS

Yes, some people do dress up like clowns. But everyone is a human being deserving the same rights and dignity as everyone else. Anyway, anyone can see what you are up to here, looking for a fight. Not playing, sorry.

Shure.

That is your opinion.

Clowns - as some call them - deserve dignity ------ so say the ones that call them clowns??????

Have YOU ever been called a name for being gay? Did you like that ? So....

So you joined the forum simply to confront me with your personal attack vendetta? Anyway, thanks for sharing your bile. Back to TOPIC please. It's a good one. Your hijack isn't.

[Jingthing]

Really don't understand your thread. If your gay, your gay. Do what you want with others of your same gay thingy, end of story.

You obviously didn't understand. In my opinion, most gay people do not like the phrase "alternative lifestyle" as we don't consider something as important as our sexual orientation identity to be in the same trivial class of things as a HOBBY. Surfing lifestyle, yes OK, that's a lifestyle if you insist on using that obsolete dated word at all.

Lifestyle, it is good for a seventies flashback though --

Edited December 23, 2011 by Jingthing

[Ijustwannateach]

Well, everyone's had their say, and my attempt to explain why having 'alternative lifestyle' as part of the description is desirable and inclusive basically has either gone over heads or gone in left ears and exited the right ears. Just a lot of blather about how it doesn't apply to one faction of gay men. Here's news, gay men: this forum is not only about you. As it happens, we have already included the whole GLBT rhetoric in our welcome thread. Renaming the whole subforum is out on the basis of internet indexing issues, plus the fact that there'd always be one more person who wasn't satisfied.

So, I'm closing the thread; cheers and happy holidays to all of you gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, transgendered, S and/or M, married/single/divorced/polyamourous, and other, individuals and collectives.