wxyz Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 (edited) I've heard it many times from Thai women, do believe many years ago Donna posted a story about a Thai colleague of hers who came into work in tears over some rude offensive farang man who asked her how much as she was stopped at a red light on her motorbike. I doubt Sheryl or I have the kind of time to go back through years and years of posts but make no mistake, it happens often. i would rather be the FIRST told no, than the last told YES... beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks Edited January 2, 2012 by wxyz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturatica Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 maybe a question to hehehoho does your wife know of the mistress? how does she feel about that? It's also built into our DNA to keep that quiet. Do you think the foreign men who wanted to use you for extra-marital fun were going to use it as pillow talk with the missus that night? *rolls eyes* Guys like you make me lose faith in ever getting married... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsClueless Posted January 2, 2012 Author Share Posted January 2, 2012 fantastic if u do not doubt why do you ask evidence? Happens a lot Maybe we dont cry But many of us dont like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 maybe a question to hehehoho does your wife know of the mistress? how does she feel about that? It's also built into our DNA to keep that quiet. Do you think the foreign men who wanted to use you for extra-marital fun were going to use it as pillow talk with the missus that night? *rolls eyes* Guys like you make me lose faith in ever getting married... As a guy l agree with you. Unfortunately there are those who's dick control their life instead of their brains, and caring for the one they chose to spend their life with. Not forgetting what ever they might pass on to their wife. These guy's are the pits. . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weally Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 This topic reminds me of a new watch and an old watch article I read. It talked about about the feeling of the person who wears and doesn't value that old watch. So when he sees a new watch and he has an urge to want to own it then after gaining ownership of the new watch he may look for another watch and another watch and so on.... He won't stop looking for a new watch until he is happy inside. Though this applies to women, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hehehoho Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 (edited) But having a farang also seems to be a status symbol, Only to peasants. As farang = rich they are quite an easy way for a peasant to show off (supposed) wealth while belittling their peasant peers who haven't got such an ATM. Thus creating a sense of happiness within the peasant. Edited January 2, 2012 by hehehoho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I've heard it many times from Thai women, do believe many years ago Donna posted a story about a Thai colleague of hers who came into work in tears over some rude offensive farang man who asked her how much as she was stopped at a red light on her motorbike. I doubt Sheryl or I have the kind of time to go back through years and years of posts but make no mistake, it happens often. i would rather be the FIRST told no, than the last told YES... beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks Ever think that maybe it shouldn't be about how you feel but about having some respect and consideration for another human being? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wxyz Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 (edited) I've heard it many times from Thai women, do believe many years ago Donna posted a story about a Thai colleague of hers who came into work in tears over some rude offensive farang man who asked her how much as she was stopped at a red light on her motorbike. I doubt Sheryl or I have the kind of time to go back through years and years of posts but make no mistake, it happens often. i would rather be the FIRST told no, than the last told YES... beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks Ever think that maybe it shouldn't be about how you feel but about having some respect and consideration for another human being? I respect them, I can take no for an answer, and I don't cheat, I am currently not involved either, so there is no issue unlike this joke where the girl asks the guy hitting on her if he is married, he replies that he is separated, she asks him how long he has been separated, he replies since breakfast Edited January 2, 2012 by wxyz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 So, in response to a story where a girl is stopped at a red light on her motorbike and is asked "how much" you think thats equivalent to hitting on a girl? Afraid that persistent men who don't take no for an answer or who make rude suggestions to women based solely on the fact that they think they should be available is not my idea of respectful to another human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I've heard it many times from Thai women, do believe many years ago Donna posted a story about a Thai colleague of hers who came into work in tears over some rude offensive farang man who asked her how much as she was stopped at a red light on her motorbike. I doubt Sheryl or I have the kind of time to go back through years and years of posts but make no mistake, it happens often. i would rather be the FIRST told no, than the last told YES... beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks Ever think that maybe it shouldn't be about how you feel but about having some respect and consideration for another human being? +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaroni man Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 the op wrote about being flirted with by married men from her work place, that is much different than being asked to sell her body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 name='maccaroni[/color] man' timestamp='1325493494' post='4949949']the op wrote about being flirted with by married men from her work place, that is much different than being asked to sell her body. Think that most guy's who flirt are hoping for a leg over. Thai ''ladies'' do not respect any guy who try's the ''l am a film star'' routine, in fact they think they are complete plonkers, and they are right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 the op wrote about being flirted with by married men from her work place, that is much different than being asked to sell her body. Same attitude IMO; that every woman is up for it with any guy at any time simply because he's irresistable in his eyes. Shows a total lack of regard for other people or their feelings and a rather infantile selfishness IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaroni man Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 the op wrote about being flirted with by married men from her work place, that is much different than being asked to sell her body. Same attitude IMO; that every woman is up for it with any guy at any time simply because he's irresistable in his eyes. Shows a total lack of regard for other people or their feelings and a rather infantile selfishness IMO. I'll repeat the op is posting about flirting. now i am not a person who does these types of things in the work place but i would not throw a stone because i probably do live in a glass house when it come to flirting which IMO does not degrade, disrespect or harm anyone and if it does then IMO it is more of a personal problem for the person complaining then the person flirting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F1fanatic Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Women are easily able to tell the difference between 'flirting' and something different that makes them uncomfortable.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F1fanatic Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 the op wrote about being flirted with by married men from her work place, that is much different than being asked to sell her body. Same attitude IMO; that every woman is up for it with any guy at any time simply because he's irresistable in his eyes. Shows a total lack of regard for other people or their feelings and a rather infantile selfishness IMO. In my experience, its only Western men here who believe they are "irresistable"... They knew better when back in the West. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wxyz Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 (edited) So, in response to a story where a girl is stopped at a red light on her motorbike and is asked "how much" you think thats equivalent to hitting on a girl? Afraid that persistent men who don't take no for an answer or who make rude suggestions to women based solely on the fact that they think they should be available is not my idea of respectful to another human being. I understand your point and I don't do such, since it is a frequent experience for most women, they probably have developed ways to deal with it. shades of: "Indecent Proposal" (1993) "A married woman agrees to have sex with another man for $1,000,000." Edited January 2, 2012 by wxyz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hehehoho Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I've been hit on by many Thai women who've asked 'How much'. 'Do I earn?'. Makes me feel all dirty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Women are easily able to tell the difference between 'flirting' and something different that makes them uncomfortable.... Precisely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmsally Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I've been hit on by many Thai women who've asked 'How much'. 'Do I earn?'. Makes me feel all dirty. I think the standard reply is " more than you could ever afford!" . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marstons Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 thanks Sheryl I did opposite and was too embarrassed to say anything With one man (vulgar one) i pretend not hear and walk away With two others i nicely remind them they are married and that 1 no i dont want to join him n his friends for drink at whatever bar hes going 2 no he doenst have to drop me home. He should go home to his wife i have read most of the posts but are you basing your assesment on there behaviour on if they asked you to join them for a drink else where, and if they wanted to drop you off at home, maybe polite offers that i would consider gentlemanly and what i would have considered the norm working in any mixed team enviroment. As i have stated before i was married for 9 years, employed female Thai staff, often people from middle class families with Uni Degrees who have literally offered themselves to me for sex. Whilst married i always declined their very obvious and clumsy attempts. it seems that many Thai females see western guys as easy, and the boss is always game on as away of boostings ones standig within the company. MsClueless look on the bright side you experienced it once, i have had to enudre every day i go out the door one way or another. and no i dont think i am special, just the position i have and some wealth in the eyes of them.. as an added extra had female western staff hit on me as well, knowing i was in a long term relationship. they got the same responce. Thai Male- Female same as Western Male- Female in my eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsClueless Posted January 2, 2012 Author Share Posted January 2, 2012 Macaroni man and marston Maybe my post was not clear Or my English is not the best Or I'm too much of a lady to go into details But I said in my post that one was vulgar about what he said So vulgar that I walked away The other two married ones yes one asked me to join for drink elsewhere and by that time I learn he is married. When I say no, his response was not shy to indicate he want more than just a drink elsewhere. The other one that offer to take me home, again he said something that didn't leave doubt of the reason. And marston I have to repeat I do not work with them. They are not my colleagues. And I never meet them before. And yes it is offensive and not consider appropriate for two people who hardly know each other. If I give them some signal that I want them that way, then ok maybe they can make suggestions. But this was not how it happened I don't think I overreact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheryl Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Of course you did not. As others have said, women know very well the difference between casual/friendly offers, flirting (serious or otherwise) and vulgar propositions/demands/encroachments. Because we all of us have abundant experience with all of these. Men obviously have not had the same life experiences women have, and I find that decent men often find it hard to believe that other men do the sorts of things they do, so in all l innocence they assume the woman must have "misunderstood" because they are imagining the men involved to be like themselves. Little do they know what sort of things some men do and how blatantly and crassly. Outside of cross-cultural situations, women can often reduce the likelihood of being subject to offensive behavior by avoiding contexts and actions that might give the impression of easy availability. But unfortunately the whole of SE Asia and just being a SE Asian female is taken by some western men to qualify as such, so local women here -- the many who are not "on the prowl" for a western man -- do often suffer inappropriate treatment. ..very inappropriate. My niece is a very attractive young SE Asian woman living in Thailand and cannot walk through upper Sukhumvit area unmolested no matter how conservatively dressed and even with friends/boyfriend with her. More than once she has had to call for help to literally pry off a foreign man groping and pawing her and insisting on knowing "how much". They assume she has to be available purely on the basis of her race -- and believe me she in no way looks or acts like a bar girl or prostitute. Of course, one understands that they have formed this impression based on the behavior of the Thai women they have the most contact with (bar girls and the like) but that is no excuse for generalizing this to the entire female population. Put them in their place in no uncertain terms and walk off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wxyz Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 "everything happens through emails, recently there was an occasion where I met many of them" - MsClueless Was it at a Bangkok Trader Monthly Launch Party? from "Six Days Seven Nights" (1998) Robin Monroe: What are you looking at? Quinn Harris: Nothing. Robin Monroe: Something. Quinn Harris: Nothing. Robin Monroe: Oh, don't give me that, you were ogling. Quinn Harris: Ogling? Let me ask you something. When you go into a department store to buy something like that what do you say to the clerk 'give me that outfit so no one will look at me?' Robin Monroe: No, I like people looking - just not you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 My personal opinion is that a lot of the farang men do assume that every woman in Thailand are fair game , as u supposed in your OP. A lot of guys in Thailand see the rules as being different than when they are in their home countries. Many (married or not) see asian women as being 'easy'. Regretably, I think the above is indeed the case. What the OP describes is NOT just what men (all/ most/ some depending on your point of view and the circles you move in) do. As any farang woman knows, they do a variant of it in their home countries but that variant is considerably more circumspect with women they don't know well unless it is in a context which creates an expectation that the woman is "easy". For some reason people tend to assume foreign cultures are less complex and nuanced than their own, and many farang men make the mistake of thinking that because Thai women are unusually available to them in many settings means that all Thai women are so, all the time, everyplace. As a result they commit the sort of social offenses the OP describes. Over the years i've seen many similiar posts, sometimes by the offended Thai woman, sometimes by a farang man astonished and baffled that a Thai woman took offense at behavior that he would never have dared try in his home country. OP, feel free to set them straight on this in as clear terms as you can muster. If they aren't too dense to take it in, you'll be doing them -- and your countrywomen -- a favor. I'm looking forward to you posting links to these 'offended Thai women'.... I don't doubt it happens - as the odd Western man makes the same mistake with farang women here! Presumably they think we are 'desperate' ! http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ReadersSubmissions2010/reader6103.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 I don't understand what all the fuss is about. A guy asks a girl for a shag and she declines. What's the big deal? Better than wasting a few hours talking about something that is not of interest to you in an effort to get into her knickers. I wouldn't be worried in the slightest if many women asked me for a shag. If I wanted to I would, if I didn't want to I would just say no. Never would I think of it as being a bad thing to be asked. I don't think it has anything to do with the men thinking they are so good looking at all. Why would it matter to me how I view myself, I don't even care if the woman finds me attractive. If I were to feel the urge to ask a woman for a shag the last think on my mind is whether I think I'm attractive. I just can't see any issue or problem just because someone asked for a horizontal folk dance. Some will say yes and some will say no but you never know unless you ask. More and more I'm convinced that women don't want equality, they just want men to think and do things the way the women want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaroni man Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 I don't understand what all the fuss is about. A guy asks a girl for a shag and she declines. What's the big deal? Better than wasting a few hours talking about something that is not of interest to you in an effort to get into her knickers. I wouldn't be worried in the slightest if many women asked me for a shag. If I wanted to I would, if I didn't want to I would just say no. Never would I think of it as being a bad thing to be asked. I don't think it has anything to do with the men thinking they are so good looking at all. Why would it matter to me how I view myself, I don't even care if the woman finds me attractive. If I were to feel the urge to ask a woman for a shag the last think on my mind is whether I think I'm attractive. I just can't see any issue or problem just because someone asked for a horizontal folk dance. Some will say yes and some will say no but you never know unless you ask. More and more I'm convinced that women don't want equality, they just want men to think and do things the way the women want. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wxyz Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 (edited) it's not called the oldest profession for nothing Chimps Trade Meat for Sex -- And It Works http://news.national...ps-meat-sex.htm Horace Tabor: "Wait a minute! You can't buy a woman for money." Mad Jack Duncan: "You just try and get one without it." Paint Your Wagon (1969) Edited January 3, 2012 by wxyz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrahamF Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 I don't understand what all the fuss is about. A guy asks a girl for a shag and she declines. What's the big deal? Better than wasting a few hours talking about something that is not of interest to you in an effort to get into her knickers. I wouldn't be worried in the slightest if many women asked me for a shag. If I wanted to I would, if I didn't want to I would just say no. Never would I think of it as being a bad thing to be asked. I don't think it has anything to do with the men thinking they are so good looking at all. Why would it matter to me how I view myself, I don't even care if the woman finds me attractive. If I were to feel the urge to ask a woman for a shag the last think on my mind is whether I think I'm attractive. I just can't see any issue or problem just because someone asked for a horizontal folk dance. Some will say yes and some will say no but you never know unless you ask. More and more I'm convinced that women don't want equality, they just want men to think and do things the way the women want. I think the issue is that the men were married and how they went about approaching Ms. Clueless. A little respect goes a long way and it's also important to remember that not everyone feels the same way that you do. However, since you feel that such a direct approach is acceptable then I'd like to have your mothers/wifes/sisters phone numbers because I'm sure I'd love to bang one or more of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 I don't understand what all the fuss is about. A guy asks a girl for a shag and she declines. What's the big deal? Better than wasting a few hours talking about something that is not of interest to you in an effort to get into her knickers. I wouldn't be worried in the slightest if many women asked me for a shag. If I wanted to I would, if I didn't want to I would just say no. Never would I think of it as being a bad thing to be asked. I don't think it has anything to do with the men thinking they are so good looking at all. Why would it matter to me how I view myself, I don't even care if the woman finds me attractive. If I were to feel the urge to ask a woman for a shag the last think on my mind is whether I think I'm attractive. I just can't see any issue or problem just because someone asked for a horizontal folk dance. Some will say yes and some will say no but you never know unless you ask. More and more I'm convinced that women don't want equality, they just want men to think and do things the way the women want. I think the issue is that the men were married and how they went about approaching Ms. Clueless. A little respect goes a long way and it's also important to remember that not everyone feels the same way that you do. However, since you feel that such a direct approach is acceptable then I'd like to have your mothers/wifes/sisters phone numbers because I'm sure I'd love to bang one or more of them. I couldn't care less if you asked any of my family for a shag. Ask all you want as there is nothing wrong with asking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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