Travel2003 Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 OP Where do you see yourself a few years from now, when you are pushing mid 60, and she is not even considered middle aged? Has she become your maid and wet nurse? Will you allow her to go out with her friends and enjoy life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mataus101 Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 fantastic point travel2003, selfishness will not allow many with wants and needs to consider others if it means losing them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ludditeman Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 (edited) OP Where do you see yourself a few years from now, when you are pushing mid 60, and she is not even considered middle aged? Has she become your maid and wet nurse? Will you allow her to go out with her friends and enjoy life? Most of the Thai families I know, the women (respectable or not) stay at home after having children, no more nights out. Respectable Thai women don't go out much, as we know it, anyway. (Quite often even Thai boyfriends expect their girlfriends to stay at home, when they go out) That doesn't stop Thai men partying big time. Edited January 3, 2012 by ludditeman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjayjayjay Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 your probably the same age as her parents! Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr, so what... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjayjayjay Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 huh - What's a gik ?? Darned acronems a mistress No it's not. A mistress is a "mia noi" A "gik" is more like a friend with benefits... There is a huge difference in the meaning of these two in Thai language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjayjayjay Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 you say she began as your gik, later when you finished with your ex you got together with her. I have never known a decent girl who will allow herself to be a gik. you should be running from her,thats a trashy thing for a girl to do. every one is flaming you over the age, how come when I make age related comments here I get torn apart. really she should be ashamed to take you home, to a 20 year old yor as old as hell, ask yourself what kind of girl would do this, do i even want a girl who would bang a man 30 odd years older. My GF is 38. That makes her 28 years younger than I. Her father is dead but her mother is living. My GF has never been married. GF just returned from a visit home for New Year. The family including mom all want to meet me. I gave GF 5000 baht as a New Years present and because I felt a little guilty not going with her. With the 5000 she bought a 2500 baht table and chairs for the homestead and spent 2500 on presents which she brought home for me. While there her mother took her aside and told her my age made no difference as long as I was polite and well dressed. In other words she didn’t want daughter bringing home a bum. I have two unmarried daughters in their 20’s and I feel the same. As long as the guy is polite, well dressed, with a good job and the means to take care of my daughters I don’t care how old he is. Speaking as a father I care much more about his financial and mental stability than his age. One of my daughters is a bit of a wild child and instead of her current tattooed restaurant employee I think she would be well served to find an older bank president. On your other question about the desirability of a woman who would bang a man 30 years older. With some of the younger specimens I have observed at night spots I find age to be a minor problem when compared with drug addiction, football obsession and the lack of employment. Top post KerryK... 10++++ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travel2003 Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 fantastic point travel2003, selfishness will not allow many with wants and needs to consider others if it means losing them. Thnx Another one is, will OP bring his gf and meet his family? No need to buy any extra clothes if it is during winter time, because she can borrow his grand children's' clothes when they arrive. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travel2003 Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 OP Where do you see yourself a few years from now, when you are pushing mid 60, and she is not even considered middle aged? Has she become your maid and wet nurse? Will you allow her to go out with her friends and enjoy life? Most of the Thai families I know, the women (respectable or not) stay at home after having children, no more nights out. Respectable Thai women don't go out much, as we know it, anyway. (Quite often even Thai boyfriends expect their girlfriends to stay at home, when they go out) That doesn't stop Thai men partying big time. Thailand is evolving, fast. Including the rural areas. What was considered respectable before, is not the same any more. Not more than 10-15 years ago, bf/gf in BKK could hardly hold hands. Now, they have sex in the back of the bus. For many expats, they really really want the country to be stuck on the old "Macho Bullshit" trail, so they can continue the male chauvinism behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ludditeman Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 (edited) BKK is not representative of general behaviour in Thailand. Nor is Pattaya! I'm all in favor of respectable Thai women getting out more, gives me more chance of bedding them. Edited January 3, 2012 by ludditeman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdadane Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 OP Where do you see yourself a few years from now, when you are pushing mid 60, and she is not even considered middle aged? Has she become your maid and wet nurse? Will you allow her to go out with her friends and enjoy life? Most of the Thai families I know, the women (respectable or not) stay at home after having children, no more nights out. Respectable Thai women don't go out much, as we know it, anyway. (Quite often even Thai boyfriends expect their girlfriends to stay at home, when they go out) That doesn't stop Thai men partying big time. Thailand is evolving, fast. Including the rural areas. What was considered respectable before, is not the same any more. Not more than 10-15 years ago, bf/gf in BKK could hardly hold hands. Now, they have sex in the back of the bus. For many expats, they really really want the country to be stuck on the old "Macho Bullshit" trail, so they can continue the male chauvinism behavior. Works fine for me - hahahahaa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerryk Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 i have seen many instances of relationships lasting a lifetime, my grandparent, my wifes grandparents. my parents, her parents, all in relationships that lasted until death, all over 30 years. so maybe ludditeman, you should understand that when your relationships fail again and again, and you cannot hold a woman, you will see that other people are succeeding were you constantly fail. maybe instead of being a quiter, you should grow up, be a man, and try one more time for love. beats trying to relive your childhood again because being a man and forming a loving family failed you. I dont need to grow up, my marriage is doing fantastic, always has always will, because i dont look at her with expectations of failure, you cant deny many relationships succeed. Looking at the odds you stand a better chance charging with the Light Brigade. 600 charged and only 278 casualties or something like that. Actually marriage has about the same chance as the Confederates in Pickett's charge, around 50%. I always thought they made too big a deal about it being a mistake. Heck only half the men got killed! Whenever I got married I had a dream about Gettysburg and Crimean war. I was always reassured. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardenedSoul Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 you say she began as your gik, later when you finished with your ex you got together with her. I have never known a decent girl who will allow herself to be a gik. you should be running from her,thats a trashy thing for a girl to do. That's drivel. There are plenty of perfectly decent girls who prefer not to be in a full-on relationship but who enjoy a good time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattaniMan Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 (edited) A long time ago in England I had a group of mischievous friends who would go into newsagents and buy what were then known as "top shelf magazines". I remember clearly that some of these magazines had a section called "readers wives". The photographs in this section were shocking. Many of you will know what I'm talking about. This thread reminds me of "readers wives". The only difference is that this time around I have a series of mental images as opposed to a set of disturbing photographs. I have a strong image of Mr Mataus's wife. I picture her as being in her early thirties. I imagine she has a short and possibly quite severe hairstyle. I see her wearing sensible shoes. Her skirts are of an appropriate length. I picture her as a woman with a "no nonsense" taste in undergarments. Mr Kerry's girlfriend also paints an interesting image. I imagine that she too wears sensible shoes. I see her as what some might describe as a "handsome" woman. I see her as practical and perhaps a little plump. I imagine she is rather thrifty; and I imagine that she may be prone to flatulence! Mr Luddite's wife is similarly vivid. She is thin and dark, and she comes across as the kind of girl who can run quickly when the need arises. She smiles openly as foreign men, and looks away sullenly when she sees a policeman. I imagine her undergarments fall into that price range that starts at about 50 baht and peaks at around 70 baht. I picture her with a furtive tattoo near her private parts! As for the OP, I see his 20 year-old girlfriend as warm and bubbly, and as pure as the air near a metropolitan industrial estate. I picture her wearing tight-fitting jeans and immodest blouses. I imagine she is the kind of girl who buys her fragrances from vendors outside of shopping malls as opposed to those within. I see her with imitation jewelry and a cheap-looking navel chain. I picture her as a woman who eats insects and travels in non-airconditioned buses. Now ..... back to work. Edited January 3, 2012 by PattaniMan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerryk Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Metal toed safety shoes because she is an engineer in a steel mill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenBravo Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Metal toed safety shoes because she is an engineer in a steel mill. Well, PattaniMan got it right, then, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocN Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 you had a relationship with you mother, wow that's weird. Almost as weird as your constant bickering about how disgusting it is to be old... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocN Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Wow...here we go again. The main point is not, what the two get out of a relationship, but the age difference? Will this ever stop? I had a gf back in Germany and she was 8 years older than me. I was 22 and she was 30...relationship lasted 6 years and of course my mom was not dlighted...but it is my life and we made each other happy for some time. I am now 44 and my current GF is 24... So? We make each other laugh, enjoy being together and when she decides, it is "time to meet the parents"...I will do. I don't see myself as "disgustingly old" and I don't see her as childishly young. Of course she has a daughter from her former thai- boyfriend...and I am willing to take care of her, as I feel now. What will I feel in 3 years? I don't know! What will she feel in 3 months? I don't know! Do I "allow" her to meet her friends? Sure! Why not! Sometimes I even come along and we have great fun, when the girls and guys do Karaoke and the "farang ting tong" does some weird dance moves. It may be a clichee...but you are young as long as you feel young! And there is a big difference between "young" and "childish"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ludditeman Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Mr Luddite's wife is similarly vivid. She is thin and dark, and she comes across as the kind of girl who can run quickly when the need arises. She smiles openly as foreign men, and looks away sullenly when she sees a policeman. I imagine her undergarments fall into that price range that starts at about 50 baht and peaks at around 70 baht. I picture her with a furtive tattoo near her private parts! Not quite right, she doesn't like foreigners, but has had an abundance of Thai lovers. White skin and no tattoos, as Thai men don't go for dark girls with tattoos. Very friendly with many Thai policemen in the past. She does run fast, but to attack and not retreat. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Metal toed safety shoes because she is an engineer in a steel mill. Sensible shoes indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Mr Luddite's wife is similarly vivid. She is thin and dark, and she comes across as the kind of girl who can run quickly when the need arises. She smiles openly as foreign men, and looks away sullenly when she sees a policeman. I imagine her undergarments fall into that price range that starts at about 50 baht and peaks at around 70 baht. I picture her with a furtive tattoo near her private parts! Not quite right, she doesn't like foreigners, but has had an abundance of Thai lovers. White skin and no tattoos, as Thai men don't go for dark girls with tattoos. Very friendly with many Thai policemen in the past. She does run fast, but to attack and not retreat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Wow...here we go again. The main point is not, what the two get out of a relationship, but the age difference? Will this ever stop? I had a gf back in Germany and she was 8 years older than me. I was 22 and she was 30...relationship lasted 6 years and of course my mom was not dlighted...but it is my life and we made each other happy for some time. I am now 44 and my current GF is 24... So? We make each other laugh, enjoy being together and when she decides, it is "time to meet the parents"...I will do. I don't see myself as "disgustingly old" and I don't see her as childishly young. Of course she has a daughter from her former thai- boyfriend...and I am willing to take care of her, as I feel now. What will I feel in 3 years? I don't know! What will she feel in 3 months? I don't know! Do I "allow" her to meet her friends? Sure! Why not! Sometimes I even come along and we have great fun, when the girls and guys do Karaoke and the "farang ting tong" does some weird dance moves. It may be a clichee...but you are young as long as you feel young! And there is a big difference between "young" and "childish"! It's good you are happy with her. and happy with the relationship. We need to see more of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttthailand Posted January 3, 2012 Author Share Posted January 3, 2012 I really started this post to get a feel for how important that trip to meet the family was, for her and me. And also to gauge the possible feeling she maybe having for me. The topic discussion has since went into many directions. I think I have now got an idea to the answer to my question. Age difference is a factor that most people put as the number one problem regarding our relationship and everything else is irrelevant. The funny part is that when we first meet It had crossed my mind too. But after a few day of getting to know each other I almost forgot there was a difference. We were too busy having fun, talking, laughing, just doing what any other couple would do. It's sad that people can not accept two legal adults having a relationship. ....So this leads me to believe that if the farangs can not accept this then most Thais can not also and perhaps she feels a little strange bringing be home. But, it also tells me that by her not asking me to go to her village has little to do about how she really feels about me. So this exercise has been worth the time and all comments, good and bad, have been factored into my thinking. Thank you all !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheynewalk Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 I knew a 72 year old derro dutchie in the north of bali a few years ago. Married a local girl 18 years of age and actually managed to get her pregnant! He's built her a house and now she only has to wait a few more years until he pops his cloggs and she has the house. Not a bad deal for a local village girl with nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerryk Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Just as a reminder there are Thai people who don't accept Farangs regardless of age. I am going out with one tonight. Her mother is a teacher and she hid her relationship with an age appropriate, educated and well off Farang for two years. Tonight is the coming out party. I kind of feel sorry for the guy. He does not have a clue about what is really going on but he is going to meet the whole gang in a couple of hours. Surprise surprise! I'd call him if I had his phone number but I don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjayjayjay Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Metal toed safety shoes because she is an engineer in a steel mill. I'd call them pretty sensible.. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjayjayjay Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 ~snip~ And there is a big difference between "young" and "childish"! Ouch, that was a low blow... but I guess he's too young to understand what it was! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermute Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 and is on the internet many hours every day..... I was going to make note of this too. I bet her english is real good due to all that practice she's getting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttthailand Posted January 3, 2012 Author Share Posted January 3, 2012 I think time to close this topic. I got my answer. Thank you everyone for your input. ttthailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLock Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 A long time ago in England I had a group of mischievous friends who would go into newsagents and buy what were then known as "top shelf magazines". I remember clearly that some of these magazines had a section called "readers wives". The photographs in this section were shocking. Many of you will know what I'm talking about. This thread reminds me of "readers wives". The only difference is that this time around I have a series of mental images as opposed to a set of disturbing photographs. I have a strong image of Mr Mataus's wife. I picture her as being in her early thirties. I imagine she has a short and possibly quite severe hairstyle. I see her wearing sensible shoes. Her skirts are of an appropriate length. I picture her as a woman with a "no nonsense" taste in undergarments. Mr Kerry's girlfriend also paints an interesting image. I imagine that she too wears sensible shoes. I see her as what some might describe as a "handsome" woman. I see her as practical and perhaps a little plump. I imagine she is rather thrifty; and I imagine that she may be prone to flatulence! Mr Luddite's wife is similarly vivid. She is thin and dark, and she comes across as the kind of girl who can run quickly when the need arises. She smiles openly as foreign men, and looks away sullenly when she sees a policeman. I imagine her undergarments fall into that price range that starts at about 50 baht and peaks at around 70 baht. I picture her with a furtive tattoo near her private parts! As for the OP, I see his 20 year-old girlfriend as warm and bubbly, and as pure as the air near a metropolitan industrial estate. I picture her wearing tight-fitting jeans and immodest blouses. I imagine she is the kind of girl who buys her fragrances from vendors outside of shopping malls as opposed to those within. I see her with imitation jewelry and a cheap-looking navel chain. I picture her as a woman who eats insects and travels in non-airconditioned buses. Now ..... back to work. PattaniMan...you are a very astute man with a way with words. I tip my hat Sir. I was too young to buy those magazines of which you speak, but I did sneak into my Dad's bottom drawer and have a pervy look when he was out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeyserSoze01 Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 agreed many young ones are not so desirable, but how about getting a young one who is. I would like my daughter to have a successful man, but its not most important, what is much more so is that they love each other. You mentioned money often, but not love. I am a father. I would rather recommend a good plumber. A plumber will always have a job. Bankers are a good second choice but lately there have been some problems there. That's because Kerry and I are both old enough to know love doesn't last. When you grow up, you will also learn this. Ain't that the truth. Once you have been around the block a few times, you come to the realization that nothing is forever. The best we can do is to enjoy our time here and the relationships we forge, however long they last. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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